Fic: Dark - L/C, R/L (imp) - PG-13
Title: Dark
Pairing: Lister/Cat, Rimmer/Lister (implied).
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I still don't own Red Dwarf, I just borrow it. I don't make any money from this either.
Spoilers: Stoke Me A Clipper
Notes: Lister sauntered drunk into my brain last night and told me this. Written for the fanfic100 challenge - my table is here.
There are two things I need for you to understand before I even begin to tell you this. One; we're always drunk. Two; it always happens in the dark. Always.
I don't know who he imagines I am. It's not me, that's for certain. I'm not sure he thinks at all. I'm not sure either of us do. We just close our eyes, and grasp, and stroke, and pull, and moan, and finish quickly.
All right; some nights, not so quickly. But it's never, like, a lingering thing, ya know? None of us want that. None of us want one another. We just want something and lucky us; something is what we get.
We've none of us any idea how to go about things. That took some fumbling and knees to the groin and gut, and elbows to the face, that did. Frankly, that surprised me. You know, I've got an ego, yeah? I've always liked to think of myself as a caring, sensitive lover, but maybe that's part of the problem. This ain't love, what we're doing. This is just groping in the dark. Anyone can do that, but doing it well takes a whole different sort of skill. And we're learning, though I wish we didn't have to.
Actually, we're getting pretty good at it.
I don't wanna talk about that though. I just wanted to tell you why. You know, 'cause if you ever do come back, yer gonna find out somehow. And if you don't, I'll want to tell ya. 'Cause it's not right, you not knowing. I gotta do right by ya, even if it is far too late. So yeah; why. Heh, smegging hell, now I've sat down to tell ya, I'm not sure even I know. But that's no answer; that's no good. Gotta do this right. You deserve an answer. I'll have a think, and come back later.
Right; I'm back. I had a think, and it didn't help. Then I had a few beers, and that helped in that it got me drunk, but I still didn't know how to explain all this. So slept if off - well, most of it - and I came back. You know, it's like... you know Cat, right? He doesn't care about anything. I mean, I don't care about things what aren't important, but him man - he doesn't care about nothing! I mean, as long as he's happy, right? And this makes him happy. So that explains it fer him. But then there's me.
I think I need another drink.
No, no. That's what got me sidetracked in the first place. No more drinking until I've gotten this done. I mean, you might come back tomorrow, right? And then what would I do, if I hadn't finished this? Hell, it's five o'clock in the morning, so I guess it's already tomorrow. So what if you came now? What if you'd decided to come back, and had yerself all sorted out and that, and here I'd be, still yammering on, or not, if I'd gone to sleep, which I haven't yet, because I gotta finish this. You know?
I miss you.
I think... I think that might be it. Maybe that is it. There's a person missing, and I can feel it. Or not feel it, actually. It's not seeing you and hearing you, or smelling yer smegging after-shave - it's all of these things, all bunched up into one. I thought I'd stop caring after Kryten... well, ye'll have to ask Kryten about that one. See, I had these dreams, and he tried to sort me out, but now I'm not so sure I needed sorting. So yeah, I thought I'd stopped caring, but I haven't. I just stopped dreaming about ya.
When I think about it, that's when it happened the first time. When Kris came back - yeah, Kris is back; it's a long story, but not a very important one right now - I sorta forgot about all that for a while, 'cause you know how it is. Something new, yeah? But then we got back to routine, and she wasn't interested, and to tell you the truth, nor was I, really. She's not my Kris, but she's a looker, and I wouldn't mind doing her, I'm not ashamed to say. Well, not gonna happen. So I was drunk, and miserable, and lonely, lying on my bunk in the dark and trying to remember anything, you know, like the dreams I had of you. Yeah, they were those kinda dreams, but I guess you'd've figured that out fer yerself by now. I really was very drunk, which is why I didn't hardly notice when the door opened. And when he slipped into my bed - OK, I did notice that. Kinda hard not to, what with the licking and the purring and the clawing. There's always a lot of tongue involved; a little too much, if you ask me, and I... right, I'm not getting into that. You don't wanna know.
You know how I always told ya there aren't any aliens, that it's all in yer mind? Well, I stand corrected. There's one right here on the ship. Cat's not like us, man. I mean, we know he's a cat, and we know all the little outwardly things like how he eats and washes, and reads with his nose and sleeps on top of lockers, and sings like a synthesizer on fire. But it's more than that. It's the way he moves; the way his body responds when you touch it; the way he looks at you with fluorescent eyes and grins. It's not human. And it's no substitute fer anything, tell you the truth. It's good. But it's no substitute.
I'm telling you too much. I just wanted to tell you it happened, and why. I'm not sure I have, really. I'm not sure I should have. But there it is. Just... have a listen to this. When you get here. If you get here. 'Cause I can't see myself telling you this to yer face, and I'm not used to writing much, so I had to record it. So there it is. Things happen in the dark man. I'm in the dark here. Come back, won't you? We could use some light around here.
Message ends.
Pairing: Lister/Cat, Rimmer/Lister (implied).
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I still don't own Red Dwarf, I just borrow it. I don't make any money from this either.
Spoilers: Stoke Me A Clipper
Notes: Lister sauntered drunk into my brain last night and told me this. Written for the fanfic100 challenge - my table is here.
There are two things I need for you to understand before I even begin to tell you this. One; we're always drunk. Two; it always happens in the dark. Always.
I don't know who he imagines I am. It's not me, that's for certain. I'm not sure he thinks at all. I'm not sure either of us do. We just close our eyes, and grasp, and stroke, and pull, and moan, and finish quickly.
All right; some nights, not so quickly. But it's never, like, a lingering thing, ya know? None of us want that. None of us want one another. We just want something and lucky us; something is what we get.
We've none of us any idea how to go about things. That took some fumbling and knees to the groin and gut, and elbows to the face, that did. Frankly, that surprised me. You know, I've got an ego, yeah? I've always liked to think of myself as a caring, sensitive lover, but maybe that's part of the problem. This ain't love, what we're doing. This is just groping in the dark. Anyone can do that, but doing it well takes a whole different sort of skill. And we're learning, though I wish we didn't have to.
Actually, we're getting pretty good at it.
I don't wanna talk about that though. I just wanted to tell you why. You know, 'cause if you ever do come back, yer gonna find out somehow. And if you don't, I'll want to tell ya. 'Cause it's not right, you not knowing. I gotta do right by ya, even if it is far too late. So yeah; why. Heh, smegging hell, now I've sat down to tell ya, I'm not sure even I know. But that's no answer; that's no good. Gotta do this right. You deserve an answer. I'll have a think, and come back later.
Right; I'm back. I had a think, and it didn't help. Then I had a few beers, and that helped in that it got me drunk, but I still didn't know how to explain all this. So slept if off - well, most of it - and I came back. You know, it's like... you know Cat, right? He doesn't care about anything. I mean, I don't care about things what aren't important, but him man - he doesn't care about nothing! I mean, as long as he's happy, right? And this makes him happy. So that explains it fer him. But then there's me.
I think I need another drink.
No, no. That's what got me sidetracked in the first place. No more drinking until I've gotten this done. I mean, you might come back tomorrow, right? And then what would I do, if I hadn't finished this? Hell, it's five o'clock in the morning, so I guess it's already tomorrow. So what if you came now? What if you'd decided to come back, and had yerself all sorted out and that, and here I'd be, still yammering on, or not, if I'd gone to sleep, which I haven't yet, because I gotta finish this. You know?
I miss you.
I think... I think that might be it. Maybe that is it. There's a person missing, and I can feel it. Or not feel it, actually. It's not seeing you and hearing you, or smelling yer smegging after-shave - it's all of these things, all bunched up into one. I thought I'd stop caring after Kryten... well, ye'll have to ask Kryten about that one. See, I had these dreams, and he tried to sort me out, but now I'm not so sure I needed sorting. So yeah, I thought I'd stopped caring, but I haven't. I just stopped dreaming about ya.
When I think about it, that's when it happened the first time. When Kris came back - yeah, Kris is back; it's a long story, but not a very important one right now - I sorta forgot about all that for a while, 'cause you know how it is. Something new, yeah? But then we got back to routine, and she wasn't interested, and to tell you the truth, nor was I, really. She's not my Kris, but she's a looker, and I wouldn't mind doing her, I'm not ashamed to say. Well, not gonna happen. So I was drunk, and miserable, and lonely, lying on my bunk in the dark and trying to remember anything, you know, like the dreams I had of you. Yeah, they were those kinda dreams, but I guess you'd've figured that out fer yerself by now. I really was very drunk, which is why I didn't hardly notice when the door opened. And when he slipped into my bed - OK, I did notice that. Kinda hard not to, what with the licking and the purring and the clawing. There's always a lot of tongue involved; a little too much, if you ask me, and I... right, I'm not getting into that. You don't wanna know.
You know how I always told ya there aren't any aliens, that it's all in yer mind? Well, I stand corrected. There's one right here on the ship. Cat's not like us, man. I mean, we know he's a cat, and we know all the little outwardly things like how he eats and washes, and reads with his nose and sleeps on top of lockers, and sings like a synthesizer on fire. But it's more than that. It's the way he moves; the way his body responds when you touch it; the way he looks at you with fluorescent eyes and grins. It's not human. And it's no substitute fer anything, tell you the truth. It's good. But it's no substitute.
I'm telling you too much. I just wanted to tell you it happened, and why. I'm not sure I have, really. I'm not sure I should have. But there it is. Just... have a listen to this. When you get here. If you get here. 'Cause I can't see myself telling you this to yer face, and I'm not used to writing much, so I had to record it. So there it is. Things happen in the dark man. I'm in the dark here. Come back, won't you? We could use some light around here.
Message ends.