Crossover Fic (Part 2/4)
Title: Last of Our Kind
Fandoms: Red Dwarf, Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Pairings: Lister/Jack/Amy, Eleventh Doctor/Rimmer, Lister/Rimmer
Notes: Now I'm thinking that this story will have 4 chapters rather than 2 or 3. This part is mostly concerned with Lister/Jack/Amy. I am actually looking forward to the next part, where I get to explore a little bit of Eleventh Doctor/Rimmer, which, the more I think about it...is a pretty interesting and legitimate pairing.
The Doctor sat back and observed as a masterpiece of social awkwardness unfolded before him. The lights were low in the disco hall, and up-tempo, nondescript music was playing. He, Amy, Jack, Lister, and Rimmer all sat around a table. Only Rimmer and the Doctor had refused the offer of alcohol, and they were both increasingly aware of their companions’ level of inebriation.
Lister seemed much more at ease now that his lower half was hidden behind the cover of a table, and he dutifully chatted up Amy, who seemed unconvinced of his attractiveness. A few more lagers could cure that, though, and that was Lister’s plan exactly. Jack, however, had set his sights on Lister, and sat between them. The scouser was not so easily dissuaded - not after this long alone in space, anyway.
“So where are you from, then, Amy?”
“Inverness, but I moved to Leadworth with my aunt when I was little.”
“Yeah, I thought I recognized the accent. With yer aunt, you say?”
Jack sat between them, eyes on Lister, sipping at his drink. He reached down under the table and casually brushed a hand against Lister’s exposed leg. Lister shivered, but did not pull away. Affection was rare with the Red Dwarf crew, and though he might prefer a night with the girl, Jack certainly had some appeal. His eyebrows reached upwards a little, but he said nothing, only reached for a deep swig of his drink. If he was going to bed a male stranger, he’d need to be much drunker than this.
“My mum and dad are gone,” she said plainly.
“Mine too,” he said, by way of consolation.
“You must be awful lonely out here with just a hologram and a computer to keep you company,” Jack purred, his unseen finger tickling along Lister’s thigh.
“We’ve got a Cat,” Lister said, trying to focus on words rather than the feel of the other man’s warm hand against his skin.
“A cat, you say?” The Doctor asked.
Rimmer decided to explain, since Lister looked…busy. He tried not to notice how closely the two men were sitting, or how Lister seemed to be leaning in toward this Jack fellow.
“Hardly a regular cat, and far less useful. He’s what evolved from Lister’s cat he smuggled onboard three million years ago. The rest of his people all flew off to seek some stupid religious leader - they only left the lame and stupid behind, and Cat is definitely the stupidest creature I’ve ever met.”
“Felis Sapians! I’ve met some of them on my travels. Lovely species.”
“Yes…well,” Rimmer replied, trying to decide the level of admiration he should feel toward this visitor. The Doctor appeared to claim no high rank, but the other two seemed to treat him as their leader. He seemed very knowledgeable, but was quiet and didn’t gloat about it. All of this seemed contradictory, and left Rimmer unsure of exactly how much he should treat this man like a superior. “Are you sure I can’t get you something to drink?” he offered, changing the topic.
“Oooh, another two for me, please, Rimmer,” Lister said with a grin.
“I’d like another, please,” Jack said, while clandestinely walking his fingertips lightly to the inside of Lister’s thigh.
“Me as well, please,” Amy added, her eyes wandering to where Jack’s hand disappeared under the table near Lister’s body. “Make that two,” she amended.
Rimmer chose to comply with everyone’s orders rather than appear stroppy in front of someone who might outrank him.
“And you, sir?” he asked again of the Doctor.
“No need to call me sir, and no thanks, I’m not too sure how this body reacts and I don’t want to test it tonight.”
Rimmer was puzzled by the answer, but walked off to get another round of drinks for the rest of the table.
“The Cat’s probably off grooming himself,” Lister said. “I bet he’ll be dead excited to hear that you’ve seen other Cats while travelling. He’ll probably want to find ‘em so he can finally get his leg over.”
“I doubt he’d have much luck with the ones I met,” the Doctor replied evenly. “They were nuns.”
“How sad. Chastity is just such a waste, wouldn’t you say, Dave,” Jack said, leaning in to whisper the last word in the other man’s ear. Lister’s eyes widened and he reached for one of the two lagers placed before him by a frowning Rimmer. He drank it down without taking a breath, then started on the other one.
Amy tried to hide a smile, and whispered in her companion’s ear, “Jack, you’re terrible!”
Jack kept his hand drawing circles on Lister’s legs, but he leaned his head to whisper back to her. “He wants me.”
“He wants you? What about me!” she whispered back, trying not to giggle.
Jack smiled. A slow, sexy smile.
“Why Amy, what a wonderful idea. I think a threesome is in order,” he said quietly to her, and this time she couldn’t help but giggle.
“You just want my help getting him in bed,” she said with a fake pout.
“I’ll make it worth your while,” Jack whispered against her neck as he leaned in to kiss her along the chin, his hand now fondling between Lister’s legs.
“Erm…are you two together, then?” Rimmer asked bluntly of Jack and Amy as he tried desperately not to notice the movement under the table or the needy look on Lister’s face, or his eyes closed in concentration.
“Sometimes,” Jack said without turning his head. He kissed up to Amy’s ear as she let her head fall back and her eyelids flutter.
“Don’t mind them, they do this to bother me,” the Doctor said disapprovingly.
Amy raised her head up and opened her eyes, but allowed Jack to continue kissing her neck. She suddenly had a very seductive smile and a playful glint in her eyes.
“We don’t do it to bother you, Doctor, we do it to try and get you to…”
“Right!” The Doctor said, quite loudly, as he stood up. “I think…in any case it’s…very late. I should get to bed. Yes. We didn’t even rest after leaving the last place, and I think it’s time I rested. You two should…”
He looked at Amy, her heavy-lidded eyes on him as Jack licked down to her exposed collarbone. Jack, too, had his eyes slightly open, and was watching for the Doctor’s reaction. Lister was breathing quicker than any man should when simply sitting at a table. He supposed it was inevitable, what would happen between the three tonight.
“Right. Yes. Fine. Well, I’ll see you all tomorrow. Do be careful,” he implored, then left to return to the TARDIS for the night. Once again he was regretting allowing Jack to join his crew. He knew it would be a bad combination with Amy, knowing how sexual they both were. Still. Every now and again it had its merits…No. He shook all such thoughts out of his mind and returned to his ship to curse the unconquerable human libido.
Rimmer felt entirely out of place, but wasn’t sure that he should leave. For one thing, he didn’t want to be rude and abandon their guests. And, more importantly, on the other hand, he didn’t want to leave Lister in the hands of these…handlers.
He had known on first sight that this “Captain Jack” was trouble. He was so reminiscent of Ace it was sickening. The same suave strut, the same overconfidence, the same action hero vibe. Only, whereas with Ace all the jabs and jibes about his poncing around after Lister had been mean, unqualified jokes, this ruddy Captain Jack was unabashedly poncing after him right under the same table at which he now sat! As though it was normal, and natural, and not sick, wrong, or disgusting. As though it was perfectly acceptable! And what’s more, Lister was liking it.
It made him feel all sorts of things that he didn’t like at all. It was almost painful to watch, and he tried to convince himself that it only hurt because he missed having a body. Not that he’d ever done those sorts of things with his body while he’d had one. Hardlight was fabulous, but it really didn’t feel the same as true flesh. He wasn’t even sure he remembered what real flesh felt like, either his own, or the touch of someone else’s beneath his fingers. Watching the three of them writhe together in the preamble of much closer, hotter, softer prospects was beautiful and painful all at once. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from it.
Jack pulled his mouth away from Amy for a moment and leaned back to Lister.
“We should take this someplace…softer. Is there a bed we can use?” Jack whispered in between nibbling at Lister’s ear, his voice heavy with desire.
Lister opened his eyes and it appeared that he’d forgotten where he was.
“Yeah…we can…is she coming with us?” Lister asked, biting his lip when he felt Jack’s fingers gently cup one of his balls below the table.
“Do you want her to?” Jack asked, kissing down Lister’s cheek.
“Yes,” Lister said.
“Alright, fine,” Amy acquiesced with a sigh and a roll of the eyes. Then she smiled. “But you two have to promise, and I mean absolutely, totally, cross-your-heart-and-hope-to-die promise, that it’ll be worth my while. Hmm?” She tipped her head to the side and surveyed the two men with feigned seriousness.
“Absolutely,” Lister said with a grin.
“By my honor,” Jack said with a suggestive raise of an eyebrow.
“Well good, then. I trust you. If there’s one thing I can count on you to be honorable about, Jack Harkness, it’s making sure everyone has a right good time in the bedroom.”
He laughed, and did not disagree.
Rimmer was in a panic.
“Er, Listy, don’t you think we’d better…”
Lister stood up, and Rimmer stopped midsentence.
“This way,” he said to Amy and Jack, and gestured toward a door. “And just make sure you smeg off, okay, Rimmer?”
Rimmer didn’t think that deserved an answer, and he watched the three leave, going in the direction of the upper rank bunkrooms. The ones with bigger beds. He wasn’t sure how he felt about all that had just happened, but he was certain he could stay smegged off for however long it took them to finish their…business. Their disgusting, detestable, lewd and frankly obscene business. He could smeg off for a long time, if he wanted to. Weeks. Months. Then Lister might start to regret it. Maybe.
Fandoms: Red Dwarf, Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Pairings: Lister/Jack/Amy, Eleventh Doctor/Rimmer, Lister/Rimmer
Notes: Now I'm thinking that this story will have 4 chapters rather than 2 or 3. This part is mostly concerned with Lister/Jack/Amy. I am actually looking forward to the next part, where I get to explore a little bit of Eleventh Doctor/Rimmer, which, the more I think about it...is a pretty interesting and legitimate pairing.
The Doctor sat back and observed as a masterpiece of social awkwardness unfolded before him. The lights were low in the disco hall, and up-tempo, nondescript music was playing. He, Amy, Jack, Lister, and Rimmer all sat around a table. Only Rimmer and the Doctor had refused the offer of alcohol, and they were both increasingly aware of their companions’ level of inebriation.
Lister seemed much more at ease now that his lower half was hidden behind the cover of a table, and he dutifully chatted up Amy, who seemed unconvinced of his attractiveness. A few more lagers could cure that, though, and that was Lister’s plan exactly. Jack, however, had set his sights on Lister, and sat between them. The scouser was not so easily dissuaded - not after this long alone in space, anyway.
“So where are you from, then, Amy?”
“Inverness, but I moved to Leadworth with my aunt when I was little.”
“Yeah, I thought I recognized the accent. With yer aunt, you say?”
Jack sat between them, eyes on Lister, sipping at his drink. He reached down under the table and casually brushed a hand against Lister’s exposed leg. Lister shivered, but did not pull away. Affection was rare with the Red Dwarf crew, and though he might prefer a night with the girl, Jack certainly had some appeal. His eyebrows reached upwards a little, but he said nothing, only reached for a deep swig of his drink. If he was going to bed a male stranger, he’d need to be much drunker than this.
“My mum and dad are gone,” she said plainly.
“Mine too,” he said, by way of consolation.
“You must be awful lonely out here with just a hologram and a computer to keep you company,” Jack purred, his unseen finger tickling along Lister’s thigh.
“We’ve got a Cat,” Lister said, trying to focus on words rather than the feel of the other man’s warm hand against his skin.
“A cat, you say?” The Doctor asked.
Rimmer decided to explain, since Lister looked…busy. He tried not to notice how closely the two men were sitting, or how Lister seemed to be leaning in toward this Jack fellow.
“Hardly a regular cat, and far less useful. He’s what evolved from Lister’s cat he smuggled onboard three million years ago. The rest of his people all flew off to seek some stupid religious leader - they only left the lame and stupid behind, and Cat is definitely the stupidest creature I’ve ever met.”
“Felis Sapians! I’ve met some of them on my travels. Lovely species.”
“Yes…well,” Rimmer replied, trying to decide the level of admiration he should feel toward this visitor. The Doctor appeared to claim no high rank, but the other two seemed to treat him as their leader. He seemed very knowledgeable, but was quiet and didn’t gloat about it. All of this seemed contradictory, and left Rimmer unsure of exactly how much he should treat this man like a superior. “Are you sure I can’t get you something to drink?” he offered, changing the topic.
“Oooh, another two for me, please, Rimmer,” Lister said with a grin.
“I’d like another, please,” Jack said, while clandestinely walking his fingertips lightly to the inside of Lister’s thigh.
“Me as well, please,” Amy added, her eyes wandering to where Jack’s hand disappeared under the table near Lister’s body. “Make that two,” she amended.
Rimmer chose to comply with everyone’s orders rather than appear stroppy in front of someone who might outrank him.
“And you, sir?” he asked again of the Doctor.
“No need to call me sir, and no thanks, I’m not too sure how this body reacts and I don’t want to test it tonight.”
Rimmer was puzzled by the answer, but walked off to get another round of drinks for the rest of the table.
“The Cat’s probably off grooming himself,” Lister said. “I bet he’ll be dead excited to hear that you’ve seen other Cats while travelling. He’ll probably want to find ‘em so he can finally get his leg over.”
“I doubt he’d have much luck with the ones I met,” the Doctor replied evenly. “They were nuns.”
“How sad. Chastity is just such a waste, wouldn’t you say, Dave,” Jack said, leaning in to whisper the last word in the other man’s ear. Lister’s eyes widened and he reached for one of the two lagers placed before him by a frowning Rimmer. He drank it down without taking a breath, then started on the other one.
Amy tried to hide a smile, and whispered in her companion’s ear, “Jack, you’re terrible!”
Jack kept his hand drawing circles on Lister’s legs, but he leaned his head to whisper back to her. “He wants me.”
“He wants you? What about me!” she whispered back, trying not to giggle.
Jack smiled. A slow, sexy smile.
“Why Amy, what a wonderful idea. I think a threesome is in order,” he said quietly to her, and this time she couldn’t help but giggle.
“You just want my help getting him in bed,” she said with a fake pout.
“I’ll make it worth your while,” Jack whispered against her neck as he leaned in to kiss her along the chin, his hand now fondling between Lister’s legs.
“Erm…are you two together, then?” Rimmer asked bluntly of Jack and Amy as he tried desperately not to notice the movement under the table or the needy look on Lister’s face, or his eyes closed in concentration.
“Sometimes,” Jack said without turning his head. He kissed up to Amy’s ear as she let her head fall back and her eyelids flutter.
“Don’t mind them, they do this to bother me,” the Doctor said disapprovingly.
Amy raised her head up and opened her eyes, but allowed Jack to continue kissing her neck. She suddenly had a very seductive smile and a playful glint in her eyes.
“We don’t do it to bother you, Doctor, we do it to try and get you to…”
“Right!” The Doctor said, quite loudly, as he stood up. “I think…in any case it’s…very late. I should get to bed. Yes. We didn’t even rest after leaving the last place, and I think it’s time I rested. You two should…”
He looked at Amy, her heavy-lidded eyes on him as Jack licked down to her exposed collarbone. Jack, too, had his eyes slightly open, and was watching for the Doctor’s reaction. Lister was breathing quicker than any man should when simply sitting at a table. He supposed it was inevitable, what would happen between the three tonight.
“Right. Yes. Fine. Well, I’ll see you all tomorrow. Do be careful,” he implored, then left to return to the TARDIS for the night. Once again he was regretting allowing Jack to join his crew. He knew it would be a bad combination with Amy, knowing how sexual they both were. Still. Every now and again it had its merits…No. He shook all such thoughts out of his mind and returned to his ship to curse the unconquerable human libido.
Rimmer felt entirely out of place, but wasn’t sure that he should leave. For one thing, he didn’t want to be rude and abandon their guests. And, more importantly, on the other hand, he didn’t want to leave Lister in the hands of these…handlers.
He had known on first sight that this “Captain Jack” was trouble. He was so reminiscent of Ace it was sickening. The same suave strut, the same overconfidence, the same action hero vibe. Only, whereas with Ace all the jabs and jibes about his poncing around after Lister had been mean, unqualified jokes, this ruddy Captain Jack was unabashedly poncing after him right under the same table at which he now sat! As though it was normal, and natural, and not sick, wrong, or disgusting. As though it was perfectly acceptable! And what’s more, Lister was liking it.
It made him feel all sorts of things that he didn’t like at all. It was almost painful to watch, and he tried to convince himself that it only hurt because he missed having a body. Not that he’d ever done those sorts of things with his body while he’d had one. Hardlight was fabulous, but it really didn’t feel the same as true flesh. He wasn’t even sure he remembered what real flesh felt like, either his own, or the touch of someone else’s beneath his fingers. Watching the three of them writhe together in the preamble of much closer, hotter, softer prospects was beautiful and painful all at once. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from it.
Jack pulled his mouth away from Amy for a moment and leaned back to Lister.
“We should take this someplace…softer. Is there a bed we can use?” Jack whispered in between nibbling at Lister’s ear, his voice heavy with desire.
Lister opened his eyes and it appeared that he’d forgotten where he was.
“Yeah…we can…is she coming with us?” Lister asked, biting his lip when he felt Jack’s fingers gently cup one of his balls below the table.
“Do you want her to?” Jack asked, kissing down Lister’s cheek.
“Yes,” Lister said.
“Alright, fine,” Amy acquiesced with a sigh and a roll of the eyes. Then she smiled. “But you two have to promise, and I mean absolutely, totally, cross-your-heart-and-hope-to-die promise, that it’ll be worth my while. Hmm?” She tipped her head to the side and surveyed the two men with feigned seriousness.
“Absolutely,” Lister said with a grin.
“By my honor,” Jack said with a suggestive raise of an eyebrow.
“Well good, then. I trust you. If there’s one thing I can count on you to be honorable about, Jack Harkness, it’s making sure everyone has a right good time in the bedroom.”
He laughed, and did not disagree.
Rimmer was in a panic.
“Er, Listy, don’t you think we’d better…”
Lister stood up, and Rimmer stopped midsentence.
“This way,” he said to Amy and Jack, and gestured toward a door. “And just make sure you smeg off, okay, Rimmer?”
Rimmer didn’t think that deserved an answer, and he watched the three leave, going in the direction of the upper rank bunkrooms. The ones with bigger beds. He wasn’t sure how he felt about all that had just happened, but he was certain he could stay smegged off for however long it took them to finish their…business. Their disgusting, detestable, lewd and frankly obscene business. He could smeg off for a long time, if he wanted to. Weeks. Months. Then Lister might start to regret it. Maybe.