This is risky.
From my paper journal, dated Friday, March 28th, 2008. 23:10
I like a boy who makes me smile. He makes me laugh and he makes me geek out and act silly, serious, and introspective all at once. He makes me want to be better at what I do and make beautiful things and see beautiful things.
I don't necessarily want to be with him. I want to be close. We're friends now, but I want to be the kind of friend where proximity is never an issue. I want to be beside you and watch you sleep or trace the lines around your eyes and just be close. The kind of friends who effortlessly gain entrance to each others' heads.
He is beautiful and wonderful and I wonder if he knows this. He is talented and attentive and his mixtapes rock. He is a flirtatious person by nature, and I don't know if he notices it, but the days where it comes through are usually my best days.
Too bad he's got a girlfriend.
There is nothing in there I haven't said to you. Rereading it, though, makes all the hurt and anger come back to the surface.
I like a boy who makes me smile. He makes me laugh and he makes me geek out and act silly, serious, and introspective all at once. He makes me want to be better at what I do and make beautiful things and see beautiful things.
I don't necessarily want to be with him. I want to be close. We're friends now, but I want to be the kind of friend where proximity is never an issue. I want to be beside you and watch you sleep or trace the lines around your eyes and just be close. The kind of friends who effortlessly gain entrance to each others' heads.
He is beautiful and wonderful and I wonder if he knows this. He is talented and attentive and his mixtapes rock. He is a flirtatious person by nature, and I don't know if he notices it, but the days where it comes through are usually my best days.
Too bad he's got a girlfriend.
There is nothing in there I haven't said to you. Rereading it, though, makes all the hurt and anger come back to the surface.