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About one year ago, I experienced a psychotic episode that upended my life.

Well, perhaps my life was upended already before then, and I just didn't fully grasp it yet.

But one year ago, events were set in motion that would largely render my personality a blank slate, while eradicating all hopes, ambitions and aspirations.

For the past year I've ( Read more... )

Found this forum, a support group for suicidal people. But it's not what you think. It's much more interesting.

People post about their plans to end their lives, and go there to extensively research the efficacy of various methods in the forum's FAQs, while receiving an outpouring of encouragement and support from others who are in the same boat.

( Read more... )

Just like all holidays, just a made up day anyway. The day itself never special, but the hopes, symbols, and expectations have gravity enough for some.

Six long years ago, special enough for me. Special enough for a tight suit coat and fashionable noose. Special enough to build hype and conceal surprises. To smile vibrantly while taking selfies for ( Read more... )

My efforts to comprehend my own life result in confusion. Since I don't understand my own condition, I find it impossible to articulate it to others, leaving them to either draw their own conclusions or perhaps cease pondering me altogether.

What I do know is that my life is not in a good place. I am also burdened by the clear sense that my life ( Read more... )

There are people who think that building a wall on the US/Mexico border will pragmatically keep Americans safe.

I can't speak much to that, because I don't know the exact details of whether or a not a wall makes a positive difference in US national security.

There is a chance that a wall could have a positive impact for safety concerns in the US ( Read more... )

I haven't written a single worthwhile word since March of last year.

March of 2018 was the weirdest and most unexpected game-changer for me. It stopped me in my tracks and chucked me in a ditch.

Getting out of that ditch has thus far proven an insurmountable challenge. And while I'm still there physically, mentally I have slowly started the ( Read more... )