RAGE. QUIT. ALT-F4
I have never Rage Quit before, nor have I ever thrown my controller, but damn did I slam on my desk so hard that thousands of dollars of electrical equipment shook when I died trying to motherfucking kill any goddamn Cerberus troops I could find after that Thessia mission.
And want to know how many Renegade points I wanted to have, scars and all, after that mission because I (as in, my Shepard...of course....erm...) had to alleviate everyone's bloody fears and doubts because of my mission failure? I had to console Tali, Specialist Traynor...anyone who was concerned for Liara because her planet FUCKING FINALLY had the reapers get to her homeworld.
Well, guess what sweetheart, Earth has been hit hard for however long we've been on this mission and have you ever been concerned about my welfare? NO. Well that's really nice of you. So, to sum it up, SUCK IT!
...Instead, I made sad face:
and spoke to everyone; beat up on Joker for playing my therapist, then felt horrible about him being Hackett's mental-health spy, slammed on EDI, talked with Garrus -- who actually cared about how I felt...I was nice to him as he was my only ray of light in this mess -- and went to comfort Liara, damn pain in the ass she is. First time I've been this mad at my Shepard's love interest in the whole bloody saga. I wanted to kick her sorry blue ass into the War Room and show her what the fuck was going on. Did I?
...Paragon interrupt.
I want some Renegade points please. And the Illusive Man's head on a platter. Too much to ask? Whatevs.
I'm so close to the end now, I just know it. I could probably finish tomorrow but...I want the finale to be on Friday, when I have time to think it over. If the ending really sucks, I'm going to need a lot of happy-games to get me through it. Unreal Tournament and some really loud metal usually helps.
Aw, fuck it.
I am, however, continually surprised by how much this game makes me feel. After the Thessia mission, I kept going back over in my head what I could have done differently, what Shepard could have changed, if I had chosen a different ammo....all of it. Then I remind myself that it's all just a game that's programmed to do this and I had no control over it at all. I was just along for the ride.
The one good thing out of all of this was I could finally see the defeat, the sadness, the hurt, and the fatigue on Shepard's face. Finally! Yeah, horrible thing to say, but she finally looked how I felt: alone and tortured, the supposed lone hero, the one everyone looks up to for hope and inspiration, in a war that doesn't seem to be capable of winning, in a continual loop that the galaxy is perhaps forever bound to repeat. Cured the genophage, brought the Quarians and the Geth to peace, and I couldn't save one planet, the one that held the key to so many questions. Not only that, but does anyone but Joker and Garrus care how Shepard felt? Nope. I think my Shepard needs some hugs, cuddles, any comfort at all from anyone to get through this shit. Will she? I...I don't know. I don't think she will. She saves the galaxy twice over, maybe even a third time, and all she gets is a larger-than-life reputation. Those are some dark and sleepless nights right there. *sigh*
I should go to bed and plan what the hell I'll do for tomorrow without ME3. West Wing marathon? That might work.
Stupid...amazing...game.
(I also suck at making icons but I needed this shot iconized. I may need it again...)
ETA: Yes, I'm attached to my Shepard and all the stupid characters in this universe. Even XO Presley whose name is etched forever in the ones we lost memorial. I know it's a game...but a damn good one, alright?