Nightingale (And Not the Lark) edited (read for info)
Hello, all
So I finally got around doing the edits I've been planning for the Peterick arc of Nightingale (fic is here) since I started working on the other backstories for real and some things morphed a little. I'm happy to report that the changes are few and, for the most part, very minor. You'll probably not even notice most of them.
Edits:
1) Some typos and commas I found. It always amazes me how you can read something so many times, have it beta'd and proofread by several people on top of that and still always find a typo or a missing comma somewhere. I believe this is somehow tied in with Murphy's Law. A sub-paragraph to it, perhaps. :)
2) A couple of timeline issues for Jon. He's been working as a CSI for five years (not three) and been with the Las Vegas lab for two years (not three). These were things that changed when I wrote the Joncer backstory and make a whole lot of more sense to me than the original timeline.
3) Vicky T works in a classy, high-end strip club, not a seedy one down on Fourth, for future plot reasons I won't reveal here that might have been slightly inspired by the awesomeness that is Cobra Starship's music videos. Also, Vicky T is awesome and amazing and I have the hugest crush on her ever. So she gets her imaginary place of work upgraded and I get to imagine her lounging around on a velvet couch after her shift.
4) Leighton Meeter is mentioned being a Vice cop. Because seriously. :D
5) The Spencer/Ryan scene at the end of chapter 5 has been rewritten to fit the Spyro companion that I wasn’t planning on writing when posting the Peterick arc. The original Spyro backstory was, frankly, pretty embarrassing in how clichéd it was. I'm liking the new one so much more, it's not even funny.
6) Main edit: I've changed the killer’s last name from Trohman to Keanes and made him an OC. It was really only fair, because the only thing he and RL!Joe had in common was the name. And the only reason that was there in the first place was because I'm a sucker for corny jokes (Average Joe. Yeah, I know. /o\). I've been feeling really guilty about making Joe a killer, especially when there was really no justification either in plot or characterisation to do it. So an OC it is. My beta told me this was a good idea all the way back before the story posted. I really wish I'd listened to her on that count. :)
So I finally got around doing the edits I've been planning for the Peterick arc of Nightingale (fic is here) since I started working on the other backstories for real and some things morphed a little. I'm happy to report that the changes are few and, for the most part, very minor. You'll probably not even notice most of them.
Edits:
1) Some typos and commas I found. It always amazes me how you can read something so many times, have it beta'd and proofread by several people on top of that and still always find a typo or a missing comma somewhere. I believe this is somehow tied in with Murphy's Law. A sub-paragraph to it, perhaps. :)
2) A couple of timeline issues for Jon. He's been working as a CSI for five years (not three) and been with the Las Vegas lab for two years (not three). These were things that changed when I wrote the Joncer backstory and make a whole lot of more sense to me than the original timeline.
3) Vicky T works in a classy, high-end strip club, not a seedy one down on Fourth, for future plot reasons I won't reveal here that might have been slightly inspired by the awesomeness that is Cobra Starship's music videos. Also, Vicky T is awesome and amazing and I have the hugest crush on her ever. So she gets her imaginary place of work upgraded and I get to imagine her lounging around on a velvet couch after her shift.
4) Leighton Meeter is mentioned being a Vice cop. Because seriously. :D
5) The Spencer/Ryan scene at the end of chapter 5 has been rewritten to fit the Spyro companion that I wasn’t planning on writing when posting the Peterick arc. The original Spyro backstory was, frankly, pretty embarrassing in how clichéd it was. I'm liking the new one so much more, it's not even funny.
6) Main edit: I've changed the killer’s last name from Trohman to Keanes and made him an OC. It was really only fair, because the only thing he and RL!Joe had in common was the name. And the only reason that was there in the first place was because I'm a sucker for corny jokes (Average Joe. Yeah, I know. /o\). I've been feeling really guilty about making Joe a killer, especially when there was really no justification either in plot or characterisation to do it. So an OC it is. My beta told me this was a good idea all the way back before the story posted. I really wish I'd listened to her on that count. :)