Important Things to Remember When Dealing With RPF
Some information in a comment to my post a few days ago where Ryan holds up a sign saying "Ryden exists" made me sad. It also made me angry. Not at the commenter, of course, but at ourselves as fans, and at the lack of respect we sometimes unwittingly tend to display towards the people we adore.
So here's my manifesto. Peace and love, people.
Important note on the distinction between real people and fandom people
There's a difference between the idea of a person and that person itself. Most people get this, but unfortunately some don't. We use disclaimers when we write Real People Fiction, and some forget that this isn't primarily so that we won't end up in court, but to point out--to our readers and to ourselves--that we're playing in an imaginary world here, not the real one.
Do I love Panic! at the Disco's music? Yes. Do I think Brendon Urie is probably one of the most gorgeous men to walk this earth? Yes. Does it give me a rush to see him and Ryan interact flirtatiously on stage and in interviews? Most definitely. Does this mean that I, as a fan, have any right to decide who they are in private--as people, not as stars--or to judge who they choose to date or not? A very empathic no.
Yes, I want Ryden to exist and make a huge collection of sex-tapes and put them on YouTube, because I'm selfish, and that's all there is to it. I think they're hot. Hot people making out makes me happy. I like to be happy. It's really that simple. But if that's not something the people involved are down with, then we as fans shouldn't push. We know these people as fantasies, not as everyday-hang-out-with-bad-hair-and-talk-about-meaningless-stuff-with-a-bowl-of-popcorn real, actual people. For 99,99% of us, these guys are not our real life friends, and therefore we don't know who they are, what they like, what they want and dream of once the cameras go down.
Let's use the fandom, play with the fantasy versions of the characters--create all the hot, romantic, just-wow what-ifs we can think of--but let's do it with respect. And let's not lose track of what the disclaimers really mean: that this is fiction we're creating, and it's not supposed to be real. If it turns out to be, then, hey, let's smile ridiculously over the pictures and statements of two (or three or four) people happily and openly in love together. But let's never lose track of the fact that these are people, not toys. (The fandom versions are our toys. Those we can play with :-))
You can hate Ryan Ross's hair, but you can't hate him as a person, because you don't know him personally. You can hate the idea of Keltie (or any other girlfriend), but not the girl herself. And you can be giddily in love with the fantasy of Ryden without stalking or flaming or otherwise try to force what's basically your desires onto the people who will have to deal with the consequences.
So yes. Love and peace. Let's separate the real from the imaginary and lose ourselves in fantasies of beauty and love while letting the wonderful people who inspire us be our muses--not our wide-eyed Barbie dolls.
So here's my manifesto. Peace and love, people.
Important note on the distinction between real people and fandom people
There's a difference between the idea of a person and that person itself. Most people get this, but unfortunately some don't. We use disclaimers when we write Real People Fiction, and some forget that this isn't primarily so that we won't end up in court, but to point out--to our readers and to ourselves--that we're playing in an imaginary world here, not the real one.
Do I love Panic! at the Disco's music? Yes. Do I think Brendon Urie is probably one of the most gorgeous men to walk this earth? Yes. Does it give me a rush to see him and Ryan interact flirtatiously on stage and in interviews? Most definitely. Does this mean that I, as a fan, have any right to decide who they are in private--as people, not as stars--or to judge who they choose to date or not? A very empathic no.
Yes, I want Ryden to exist and make a huge collection of sex-tapes and put them on YouTube, because I'm selfish, and that's all there is to it. I think they're hot. Hot people making out makes me happy. I like to be happy. It's really that simple. But if that's not something the people involved are down with, then we as fans shouldn't push. We know these people as fantasies, not as everyday-hang-out-with-bad-hair-and-talk-about-meaningless-stuff-with-a-bowl-of-popcorn real, actual people. For 99,99% of us, these guys are not our real life friends, and therefore we don't know who they are, what they like, what they want and dream of once the cameras go down.
Let's use the fandom, play with the fantasy versions of the characters--create all the hot, romantic, just-wow what-ifs we can think of--but let's do it with respect. And let's not lose track of what the disclaimers really mean: that this is fiction we're creating, and it's not supposed to be real. If it turns out to be, then, hey, let's smile ridiculously over the pictures and statements of two (or three or four) people happily and openly in love together. But let's never lose track of the fact that these are people, not toys. (The fandom versions are our toys. Those we can play with :-))
You can hate Ryan Ross's hair, but you can't hate him as a person, because you don't know him personally. You can hate the idea of Keltie (or any other girlfriend), but not the girl herself. And you can be giddily in love with the fantasy of Ryden without stalking or flaming or otherwise try to force what's basically your desires onto the people who will have to deal with the consequences.
So yes. Love and peace. Let's separate the real from the imaginary and lose ourselves in fantasies of beauty and love while letting the wonderful people who inspire us be our muses--not our wide-eyed Barbie dolls.