I really don’t get it. Someone needs to clue me in, because apparently, there’s something everyone else knows that I don’t: why would you sacrifice so much to live in New York City
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do so! that is all i can say. many things you write (especially about the people) remind me of the place i live in now. i asked myself the same questions - why should i stay? i have not found all answers yet - but one decisive thing was that i got at least partial funding for my doctorate. so, if you see and know all this - go! there is a world out there as you know.
do what exactly...leave? My problem is I don't know where to go. You know...it's like -I had no choice when I left Germany. I was really enjoying myself and happy and then it's as if I got dumped from a relationship. The problem is -now this crazy girl, New York is trying to court me -but I'm just not ready for a relationship right now. The thing is -I just don't want to live anywhere. I just want to hide in a cave.
Don't live in New York City. What's the point? That place is waaaay overcrowded and it's becoming absolutely rediculous! People just flock there from all over thinking it will make them cool. But it doesn't. The only thing that is really good about New York is the sheer number of events going on at any given time. But guess what: if that's what you're looking for, try Chicago, the third largest city in the US, where you can still live affordably and there is a lot going on. And if you're interested in "cool" people, move to Washington state or Oregon or Massachusetts (Boston is expensive, but not NEARLY as bad as New York) or even Vermont
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That's how I'm feeling right now. I don't know. I feel like I should give it a shot -especially after buying a cell phone with a Brooklyn area code (but that's by no means something that will hold me here.) People I trust tell me I will like it. I just think my sense of despair isn't solely related to NYC...it gets some of the burden, but so does the shock of real world and the fact that I don't really want to live anywhere right now. I don't see myself being any happier in Chicago, Seattle, Portland, Boston or the surroundings...I just don't see myself being happy anywhere.
But at least I know some people here, and there are cultural things that are cool -I'm just not feeling adventurous enough to try any of them out or to explore the city at all. I think I'm just depressed.
Well, despite my typically critical post, I have to admit that there are lots of good things about New York too. New York is a pretty good place to be depressed. There's always a crowd to get lost in - not to mention plenty of shrinks! So do you live in New York now or do you live in Media? I was in Media today to fail my drivers license test. There was a preponderance of Kerry/Edwards signs there, so that was cool. Either way, we should hang out sometime, we're not that far away.
Biz, I think that NYC is killing you. Get out now. You can apply to grad schools and have tons of choices for a place to settle. I've been to NY, and it's cool, but I would only live there if I was loaded. Or perhaps if I had grown up there. Right now I pay $216 in rent each month and I live in a HOUSE. Not an apartment. (Of course I have 2 crappy roommates...) I'm only an hour from Seattle and two hours from Portland. That just goes to show you how overpriced large cities are. Leave Now!!!!
I hate failing or "giving up" twice in a row though -I've only barely given it a shot here so far. You may be an hour from Seattle and two from Portland, but you have a car -something I don't have and also aspire to NEVER own. If I don't live in a metropolitan area with decent public transportation, I'd be kind of trapped...unless I can get everywhere on my bike.
If you'd like to get an outside perspective, to counterbalance all the New Yawkishness you've been dealing with of late, I will just say this: I have never, in my life, felt any desire at all to live in NYC. I'm barely even interested in visiting there. I would sooner slit my wrists than try to live there as a grad student, even with funding. It would be insane. I've never lived in an apartment, and I hope I never do. To me, a house is the norm. Aside from the dorms, and a couple boarding houses, I've always lived in houses (admittedly, some of them were co-ops, and it's only just yesterday that I've ever been a homeowner, which is something I imagine most New Yorkers could never even dream of). If you wanna get the hell outta NYC, do it. Don't submit yourself to living in a place you hate. You don't yet have a lease you have to make good on; there's no shame in admitting defeat against damn-nigh insurmountable odds. There are plenty of great cities in the US and elsewhere that sure as hell aren't NYC
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To me an apartment is the norm. A house is WAY too big for me and I don't intend on moving into one until I have my second child. I don't think most New Yorkers do ever dream of owning a house...I mean, I don't really...well -I dream of owning like 10 houses in various places across the planet, but that's not the same.
And I do think there's shame in admitting defeat -no matter what the odds. I'm killing myself over my defeat in Germany...that shame affects me daily. To give up again before even trying just makes me feel like all that much more of a failure.
And...I don't know -I'd be up for living in cities elsewhere, but I can't move overseas without a visa -and who's going to hire me for a job-job in Germany, Sweden, Denmark, Ireland, Iceland or the UK?
i just wanted to say that i really appreciated this post and i wish i could have coffee with you and talk about this stuff.. just having moved from germany to the states and attending a good, yet very very uncompetitive phd program that provides full funding for each student accepted into the program - it gives me so much to think about, and so much confusion concerning where i want to go in my life and if i can possibly go back to germany without plans to return. wah. anyway. yes, do expect funding. no, don't stay in new york. it's cheaper to have a good life elsewhere.
we should have coffee and talk about this stuff. maybe I'll come down to Baltimore someday? I think I need a job first though.
All I want to do is go back. Kiel wasn't the perfect place by any means but I had friends there and a girlfriend and I was happy. I just don't want to live anywhere.
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all the best to you (unknown)
i.
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But at least I know some people here, and there are cultural things that are cool -I'm just not feeling adventurous enough to try any of them out or to explore the city at all. I think I'm just depressed.
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Right now I pay $216 in rent each month and I live in a HOUSE. Not an apartment. (Of course I have 2 crappy roommates...) I'm only an hour from Seattle and two hours from Portland. That just goes to show you how overpriced large cities are.
Leave Now!!!!
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And I do think there's shame in admitting defeat -no matter what the odds. I'm killing myself over my defeat in Germany...that shame affects me daily. To give up again before even trying just makes me feel like all that much more of a failure.
And...I don't know -I'd be up for living in cities elsewhere, but I can't move overseas without a visa -and who's going to hire me for a job-job in Germany, Sweden, Denmark, Ireland, Iceland or the UK?
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just having moved from germany to the states and attending a good, yet very very uncompetitive phd program that provides full funding for each student accepted into the program - it gives me so much to think about, and so much confusion concerning where i want to go in my life and if i can possibly go back to germany without plans to return.
wah.
anyway. yes, do expect funding. no, don't stay in new york. it's cheaper to have a good life elsewhere.
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All I want to do is go back. Kiel wasn't the perfect place by any means but I had friends there and a girlfriend and I was happy. I just don't want to live anywhere.
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