The Fifth Force

[redsea_greysky]

Physics claim four forces
Positively, with no fear.
The most powerful (according to their sources)
Is the strong nuclear.

The laws of physics break down,
Within a black hole.
The strongest one hasn't been found,
It's within my soul.

At the center
of my black hole,
Is the strongest
Force.

Strong nuclear
Cannot break
The bonds of
Love.

Comments

[girlkakumei]

Criticism.
For your poetry, the one you posted in the poetry community. You have a definite grasp on rhyming and pentameter (if you're trying). I didn't check all the way through.
This is just me personally, and I don't know if it's actually true but a lot of poems don't outright state their "message". I notice you do that in the last two lines of your poems, or the two I did scan through. Usually, poets use poetic device, to stress something they want to say but never outright tell the reader.
However, I think in modernist poetry - this thing may or may not apply. But I'm just sort of illustrating subtleties in poetry.

But your stuff is a lot better than things I've read.

[redsea_greysky]

thanks...I've noticed that I usually come out and say exactly what I mean in my poems too. I try to disguise it, in a sense, and then I get the urge to just tell the reader what my poem is about. I'm definitely going to try to work on it. Thanks again, you're criticism is very appreciated.