Schmoop Bingo - Blackout
Title: Ready for Love
Author: Redsirenfiction
Fandom: CWRPS (J2)
Schmoop: Blackout
Prompt: Birthday.
Medium: Fic
Rating: NC-17.
Warnings: Will rot your teeth. Also deals heavily with conception and talks about miscarriage, so clearly, mpreg.
Disclaimer: Don't own them. This is all a mirage.
Summary: It's not the same as years past; Not with the nursery still empty. |SOUNDTRACK| | INSPIRATION PAGE|
Notes: This is a touch angsty, but it ends with tons of love, so here's hoping it still counts. The manip was made by me.
Word Count: 1682
It's been a month since their last attempt at starting a family went down in flames. The miscarriage happened on set, of all places, and no doctor could give them any idea as to why. Everything had been going fine and they were letting themselves get excited about the prospect of having children again. Now, any notion of that had flown out the window.
July 19th should be a happy occasion, but unlike years past, there's no laughter, no ceremonial dunking into the pool, no impromptu visit from friends in the area just to bring presents.
Jared wakes to the sun in his eyes, shining almost cruelly into their bedroom and reminding him easily of how much he'd lost, yet again. Rolling over, he buries his face into the warm chest that's seemingly always there.
“Morning.” He mumbles, eyes closed and already stinging with the threat of tears.
“Happy birthday.” Jensen whispers, both hands holding his husband close, knowing full well that today won't be cause for celebration. Not surprisingly, the tender words have Jared whimpering in a matter of seconds.
“I'm so sorry I lost our baby!” He cries, his entire body shaking in the protective cocoon of Jensen's hold.
“It wasn't your fault, Jay. Sometimes these things just happened. You heard the doctor. No one can explain why, baby. It just wasn't meant to be this time around.” He whispers, Jensen's own eyes burning with unshed tears.
Jared doesn't reply for a few minutes and when he finally speaks, it's about something entirely different.
“I don't really want to do anything for my birthday. Is that okay?” He asks softly, tear-stained face pleading with Jensen.
“It's your party, babe. You call the shots today and if you don't want to do anything, than we won't do anything.” Jensen murmurs into his husband's soft hair, one hand smoothing it back lovingly from his forehead.
Jared sighs softly, closes his eyes and lets a few more tears fall as sleep takes him once again.
---------------------------
He doesn't wake again until mid-afternoon and when he pads down into kitchen the first thing that hits him is the smell of Jensen's cooking. Jared's mouth waters and forgetting everything else, he makes a beeline for the kitchen, finding his husband at the stove expertly juggling a pan or pot on each burner.
“Holy Chef Boyardee, Batman. What's going on?” There's a hint of smile in his voice as he wraps his arms tightly around Jensen from behind, head nestling on his shoulder and a soft kiss pressed to his cheek.
“Figured you'd be hungry when you woke up, so I made your favorites.” Jensen's voice is so soft and careful, it's a wonder he's audible at all.
“Thank you.” Jared whispers, giving him a squeeze and another gentle kiss.
“Tom and Mike stopped by earlier with your presents and your mom called.” Jensen remarks as Jared pulls away to get them both a drink, one hand pointing behind him at the two big boxes all neatly wrapped and overflowing with curly ribbon on the counter.
“That was sweet of them.” Jared says with sincerity as he goes to read the cards. At the sound of his warm laughter, Jensen visibly relaxes, relieved neither of his friends were dumb enough to mention the pregnancy in their well-wishes.
“So what's the plan for the rest of the day, birthday boy?” Jensen tries, hoping he'll at least get Jared to okay the bringing out of his cake, which Jensen had specially made to look like a Guitar Hero guitar since Jared is so fond of the game.
“Movies, junk food, cake-don't think I didn't hear you confirming the order-and maybe....”
He goes suddenly silent and Jensen finds himself having to turn and look at his husband to see that he's gone back into self-conscious mode. Moving close, he wipes his hands on a dishrag before pulling Jared into his arms.
“Maybe, what?” He prods, eyes never leaving Jared's, giving him time to answer at his own pace.
“Maybe...try again?” There was a desperation there, a need for them both to be okay, for them both to keep fighting, to keep moving forward despite tragedy after tragedy in the department of bearing children. “Please?” Jared's last word comes out as a whisper, his eyes begging Jensen to let him down easy if he's going to let him down at all.
Taking a deep breath, Jensen cups Jared's face in his hands, worry etched across every inch of his face.
“Are you sure?” It's all he needs an answer to, because there's no way in hell he's going to try and get Jared pregnant again when his husband doesn't want it.
“I want us to have a family.” He nods, sniffling a little though no tears fall this time.
Jensen just hopes Jared is certain about his decision, otherwise, the night is going to end worse than the morning started.
---------------------------
After dinner, they find themselves back in their room, snuggled together watching a movie. Jared can't remember the title, or even what the movie is really about; the only thing he can focus on is Jensen's hand gently stroking his side, his lips occasionally pressing to his temple, and his feet rubbing against Jared's own.
When the movie gets a little quiet, Jared turns his face and presses a soft kiss to his husband's lips, trying silently to tell him that he means everything and that this is it. Jensen gets the message, but instead of falling into their usual passionate embrace, he simply deepens the kiss and pulls Jared closer.
“I love you so much.” Jensen murmurs as he slides a hand under Jared's shirt, savoring the soft skin as his lips caress his husband's.
Jared stretches out under him, moaning softly at the touches he hasn't felt in what seems like ages. A small part of him feels wrong doing what they're doing, but as Jensen kisses him again, all the love he feels for him imbued in the affection, Jared remembers full well that this isn't some romp in the sack. They're making love, trying to conceive and making their own little family. The thought alone relaxes him, knowing that no one will fault him for wanting to try again.
His shirt is gone before he realizes it and suddenly Jensen is there, kissing over his chest and every last expanse of tanned, smooth skin. Every kiss is a prayer, every touch an offering and Jared hasn't felt so revered in a long time. Looking down, he catches Jensen's eyes and silently returns the 'I love you' with a single look. Jensen smiles in return, his lips moving south, fingertips slipping away the fabric of Jared's boxers.
Jensen nuzzles, kisses, nips and licks exactly where he needs to in order to get Jared's body awake to the sensations it's receiving. It works wonders and soon enough, Jared is panting heavily, knees loose against the mattress as he waits for that all-familiar slide in.
“You've got me, no matter what, okay? And if tonight doesn't pan out, we can try again.” Jensen says softly as he holds himself over Jared, both of them ready for that all-encompassing sensation, the wave that glides over every last nerve ending as they become one.
“I love you.” Jared says fiercely, both hands reaching up to cradle Jensen's face, tugging his husband down for a kiss that's pure, unadulterated devotion, trust and love.
It catches Jensen off guard merely for a moment, but as he kisses back, he sinks inside, sending up a thought to whoever might be listening that this time work out better than the last two.
He sets a gentle pace, focusing not so much on thrusting, but on getting as deep inside Jared as possible. Jensen adjusts his husband a few times, angling his hips for deeper penetration, wanting him to be coming apart at the seams by the time his orgasm flows through him. This time is more important than any other, including their wedding night and Jensen does not want to get it wrong.
They make love with their eyes open, gazes locked, thoughts broadcasting clearly from green to green, hands holding as though lifelines, bodies moving in perfect synchronicity.
When Jensen reaches his peek, he pushes in as far as he can, using Jared's own orgasm to his advantage, his husband's body milking every last drop from him. They stay locked together for what seems like hours, but is only minutes and when Jensen finally pulls out, it's with the greatest care.
His eyes shimmer in the dim light of the room as he sits back on his heels and takes both of Jared's legs into his hands, bringing them up and over his right shoulder, keeping them as closed as possible, but more importantly, keeping Jared's hips angled upwards not only by position, but by aid of a pillow under him as well.
Jared feels tears of desperate hope fill his eyes, the love he has for his husband increasing tenfold at the show of selflessness and unity; though he's been the one carrying the children, Jared doesn't pretend to be ignorant to his husband's pain at the losses. Lips pulled flat against teeth and eyes closed against shedding tears, Jared mouths the only words he can think to say in that moment. Finding his voice gone and his mind a mess of emotions, Jared opens his eyes as Jensen strokes his calves slowly, seeing the hope and fear and determination and love in his husband's gaze and knowing that no matter what, he will always be there.
“Thank you. I love you.”
Without missing a beat, Jensen gives him a soft smile and whispers back,
“Love you too. Happy Birthday.” And for the first time all day, Jared can actually smile at the words; If all goes right, this will be the happiest birthday he's ever had.
Author: Redsirenfiction
Fandom: CWRPS (J2)
Schmoop: Blackout
Prompt: Birthday.
Medium: Fic
Rating: NC-17.
Warnings: Will rot your teeth. Also deals heavily with conception and talks about miscarriage, so clearly, mpreg.
Disclaimer: Don't own them. This is all a mirage.
Summary: It's not the same as years past; Not with the nursery still empty. |SOUNDTRACK| | INSPIRATION PAGE|
Notes: This is a touch angsty, but it ends with tons of love, so here's hoping it still counts. The manip was made by me.
Word Count: 1682
It's been a month since their last attempt at starting a family went down in flames. The miscarriage happened on set, of all places, and no doctor could give them any idea as to why. Everything had been going fine and they were letting themselves get excited about the prospect of having children again. Now, any notion of that had flown out the window.
July 19th should be a happy occasion, but unlike years past, there's no laughter, no ceremonial dunking into the pool, no impromptu visit from friends in the area just to bring presents.
Jared wakes to the sun in his eyes, shining almost cruelly into their bedroom and reminding him easily of how much he'd lost, yet again. Rolling over, he buries his face into the warm chest that's seemingly always there.
“Morning.” He mumbles, eyes closed and already stinging with the threat of tears.
“Happy birthday.” Jensen whispers, both hands holding his husband close, knowing full well that today won't be cause for celebration. Not surprisingly, the tender words have Jared whimpering in a matter of seconds.
“I'm so sorry I lost our baby!” He cries, his entire body shaking in the protective cocoon of Jensen's hold.
“It wasn't your fault, Jay. Sometimes these things just happened. You heard the doctor. No one can explain why, baby. It just wasn't meant to be this time around.” He whispers, Jensen's own eyes burning with unshed tears.
Jared doesn't reply for a few minutes and when he finally speaks, it's about something entirely different.
“I don't really want to do anything for my birthday. Is that okay?” He asks softly, tear-stained face pleading with Jensen.
“It's your party, babe. You call the shots today and if you don't want to do anything, than we won't do anything.” Jensen murmurs into his husband's soft hair, one hand smoothing it back lovingly from his forehead.
Jared sighs softly, closes his eyes and lets a few more tears fall as sleep takes him once again.
---------------------------
He doesn't wake again until mid-afternoon and when he pads down into kitchen the first thing that hits him is the smell of Jensen's cooking. Jared's mouth waters and forgetting everything else, he makes a beeline for the kitchen, finding his husband at the stove expertly juggling a pan or pot on each burner.
“Holy Chef Boyardee, Batman. What's going on?” There's a hint of smile in his voice as he wraps his arms tightly around Jensen from behind, head nestling on his shoulder and a soft kiss pressed to his cheek.
“Figured you'd be hungry when you woke up, so I made your favorites.” Jensen's voice is so soft and careful, it's a wonder he's audible at all.
“Thank you.” Jared whispers, giving him a squeeze and another gentle kiss.
“Tom and Mike stopped by earlier with your presents and your mom called.” Jensen remarks as Jared pulls away to get them both a drink, one hand pointing behind him at the two big boxes all neatly wrapped and overflowing with curly ribbon on the counter.
“That was sweet of them.” Jared says with sincerity as he goes to read the cards. At the sound of his warm laughter, Jensen visibly relaxes, relieved neither of his friends were dumb enough to mention the pregnancy in their well-wishes.
“So what's the plan for the rest of the day, birthday boy?” Jensen tries, hoping he'll at least get Jared to okay the bringing out of his cake, which Jensen had specially made to look like a Guitar Hero guitar since Jared is so fond of the game.
“Movies, junk food, cake-don't think I didn't hear you confirming the order-and maybe....”
He goes suddenly silent and Jensen finds himself having to turn and look at his husband to see that he's gone back into self-conscious mode. Moving close, he wipes his hands on a dishrag before pulling Jared into his arms.
“Maybe, what?” He prods, eyes never leaving Jared's, giving him time to answer at his own pace.
“Maybe...try again?” There was a desperation there, a need for them both to be okay, for them both to keep fighting, to keep moving forward despite tragedy after tragedy in the department of bearing children. “Please?” Jared's last word comes out as a whisper, his eyes begging Jensen to let him down easy if he's going to let him down at all.
Taking a deep breath, Jensen cups Jared's face in his hands, worry etched across every inch of his face.
“Are you sure?” It's all he needs an answer to, because there's no way in hell he's going to try and get Jared pregnant again when his husband doesn't want it.
“I want us to have a family.” He nods, sniffling a little though no tears fall this time.
Jensen just hopes Jared is certain about his decision, otherwise, the night is going to end worse than the morning started.
---------------------------
After dinner, they find themselves back in their room, snuggled together watching a movie. Jared can't remember the title, or even what the movie is really about; the only thing he can focus on is Jensen's hand gently stroking his side, his lips occasionally pressing to his temple, and his feet rubbing against Jared's own.
When the movie gets a little quiet, Jared turns his face and presses a soft kiss to his husband's lips, trying silently to tell him that he means everything and that this is it. Jensen gets the message, but instead of falling into their usual passionate embrace, he simply deepens the kiss and pulls Jared closer.
“I love you so much.” Jensen murmurs as he slides a hand under Jared's shirt, savoring the soft skin as his lips caress his husband's.
Jared stretches out under him, moaning softly at the touches he hasn't felt in what seems like ages. A small part of him feels wrong doing what they're doing, but as Jensen kisses him again, all the love he feels for him imbued in the affection, Jared remembers full well that this isn't some romp in the sack. They're making love, trying to conceive and making their own little family. The thought alone relaxes him, knowing that no one will fault him for wanting to try again.
His shirt is gone before he realizes it and suddenly Jensen is there, kissing over his chest and every last expanse of tanned, smooth skin. Every kiss is a prayer, every touch an offering and Jared hasn't felt so revered in a long time. Looking down, he catches Jensen's eyes and silently returns the 'I love you' with a single look. Jensen smiles in return, his lips moving south, fingertips slipping away the fabric of Jared's boxers.
Jensen nuzzles, kisses, nips and licks exactly where he needs to in order to get Jared's body awake to the sensations it's receiving. It works wonders and soon enough, Jared is panting heavily, knees loose against the mattress as he waits for that all-familiar slide in.
“You've got me, no matter what, okay? And if tonight doesn't pan out, we can try again.” Jensen says softly as he holds himself over Jared, both of them ready for that all-encompassing sensation, the wave that glides over every last nerve ending as they become one.
“I love you.” Jared says fiercely, both hands reaching up to cradle Jensen's face, tugging his husband down for a kiss that's pure, unadulterated devotion, trust and love.
It catches Jensen off guard merely for a moment, but as he kisses back, he sinks inside, sending up a thought to whoever might be listening that this time work out better than the last two.
He sets a gentle pace, focusing not so much on thrusting, but on getting as deep inside Jared as possible. Jensen adjusts his husband a few times, angling his hips for deeper penetration, wanting him to be coming apart at the seams by the time his orgasm flows through him. This time is more important than any other, including their wedding night and Jensen does not want to get it wrong.
They make love with their eyes open, gazes locked, thoughts broadcasting clearly from green to green, hands holding as though lifelines, bodies moving in perfect synchronicity.
When Jensen reaches his peek, he pushes in as far as he can, using Jared's own orgasm to his advantage, his husband's body milking every last drop from him. They stay locked together for what seems like hours, but is only minutes and when Jensen finally pulls out, it's with the greatest care.
His eyes shimmer in the dim light of the room as he sits back on his heels and takes both of Jared's legs into his hands, bringing them up and over his right shoulder, keeping them as closed as possible, but more importantly, keeping Jared's hips angled upwards not only by position, but by aid of a pillow under him as well.
Jared feels tears of desperate hope fill his eyes, the love he has for his husband increasing tenfold at the show of selflessness and unity; though he's been the one carrying the children, Jared doesn't pretend to be ignorant to his husband's pain at the losses. Lips pulled flat against teeth and eyes closed against shedding tears, Jared mouths the only words he can think to say in that moment. Finding his voice gone and his mind a mess of emotions, Jared opens his eyes as Jensen strokes his calves slowly, seeing the hope and fear and determination and love in his husband's gaze and knowing that no matter what, he will always be there.
“Thank you. I love you.”
Without missing a beat, Jensen gives him a soft smile and whispers back,
“Love you too. Happy Birthday.” And for the first time all day, Jared can actually smile at the words; If all goes right, this will be the happiest birthday he's ever had.