It's Come Full Circle, Bitchez.

[redtapestry]

Okay, so I've had a couple of posts where my dad says some random shit, and it's horrific and I want to wash my brain. But now, my mom has decided to get in on the action and warp my freaking mind.

Here we go, and for those of you who have been here, I am so damn sorry.



So, a little background is needed for this story. My brother is named Marty and he's two years younger than me. Here we go.

Mom and I are watching Dane Cook's Rough Around the Edges Live from Madison Square Gardens. He's talking about the usual: mannequin sex, pedophilia, and breaking condoms. It's obvious, obviously, why I watch him.

So, this is what my mom says after he discusses the condom breaking.

Mom: Marty.
Me: (sure I've heard wrong or misinterpreted) What?
Mom: That's what happened with Marty.
Me: WHAT??? (are my ears bleeding?)
Mom: (obviously thinks I need to hear more) Well, actually, with you, too.
Me: WHAT THE FUCK? Do you and Dad not know how to use condoms? Do you need a banana demonstration?
Mom: No. We never used condoms.

Was that exploding sound my brain or the world? Cuz either is better than existing in a reality where I know this about my parents.

Seriously. Why.