(Untitled)

[reeberry]

The more bullshit that comes to light, the more it becomes clear that the entire break up conversation could have been as simple as "I don't think we communicate well and I'm not willing to work on this because I also don't find you romantically attractive anymore", which would not have been pleasant to hear, but at least then I would not have to

Comments

[fallendebre]

Ugh times a million. Breakups suck, this post-breakup thing for you seems to suck more than normal. Also, he seems like a clueless jerkface at this point.

Relatedly--I actually went ahead and said the blanket "fuck you" out loud to my ex, and it worked in terms of getting him to leave me alone for a while. Maybe worth a try saying some of these things out loud to him?

[reeberry]

Yeah, I think he's just...surprisingly and bafflingly clueless.

I will have to have the conversation of "yeah, I'm not teaching you to dance" with him, and I feel like some of the other stuff will also come up. We'll see. I'm going to try and keep it more civil and less "fuck you, asshat"...

[fallendebre]

I'm sure you already know how to handle him (especially since your and my situations are not one and the same), but I'd recommend being as clear as possible about the 'fuck you' vibe, I guess. It seems like being nice or couching these sorts of things in civilities leaves a lot of room for clueless guys to just repeat their mistakes in slightly different ways.

[bethesaurusrex]

Man, the more I read about people's post break up interactions, and look back on interactions I had with exes immediately post breakup the more I support a 100% no contact breakup policy.

I'm sorry there's douchebaggery happening in your life :(

[reeberry]

Yeah, in the past it's been a 100% no contact thing for me, and that worked out because I didn't have to deal with this, but also kind of didn't because now I'm not really friends with anyone I've dated before. I naively thought this would be different because it felt like we were good friends who shared a room more than boyfriend and girlfriend, so in theory the transition should have been really painless. That was a really silly hope for me to cling to, apparently.

I understand where he's coming from, because I'm his best friend and he doesn't have a lot of friends to begin with. But I'm also his ex and I really need him to not be so awkwardly clueless about his actions and their implications. I have no fucking idea why he ever thought asking me to teach him to dance was a good call.