Eh. I'm a total affection whore. I'm flirtatious as hell with, mm, pretty much everyone I'm comfortable with. And I go moderately nuts if I don't get enough cuddling--there was a point where I really was starting to get literally twitchy and messed up in the head because I no longer cuddled with my parents but I had no on else to cuddle either.
We are social animals. We crave physical contact and physical comfort. Wire monkeys we are not... Really, the people who are fucked up are the people who eschew physical contact with anyone except their mate because physical contact is, in fact, pretty damn important to our sanity and stability.
Physical contact is very important, but I do think there is a line.
Now, cuddles/kisses/flirting, that's all rather harmless. When I'm up for it, I can be just as much of a cuddle slut as anyone, but if hands started to roam places they shouldn't, then I'd get worried. Sex? No way, not with anyone but the one I'm married to.
I just hope Im making sense with what I'm trying to say.
Of course--it's a matter of boundaries. If you don't respect other people's boundaries, it's... well, it's violation. And that is never, ever cool.
I'm a cuddleslut, but if I meet someone who is uncomfortable with even a hug or such, I'll respect that as much as I can. I may find it sad that they can't accept a hug in the spirit I mean it in, but it is all the same their right--it's their own person, therefore they set the boundaries.
I tend to feel that sex outside a relationship is the same as kissing--it's something that should be discussed and the boundaries agreed upon. Where those boundaries end up lying depends entirely on the couple, of course. In some cases it will be monogamous, in some not. I don't personal have a problem with not... as long as it's been discussed and agreed on.
no absolutely I'm of the same mind as both of you, there is a limit where cuddling stops being harmless cuddling and turns into something else, but MOST of us can tell where that line is.
At least for me, i know exactly where the line of friendship ends and something else begins, i've pushed it alot of times with friends, and have infact accidentally lead people on because of it...had ta learn the hard way ya see...
Yeah, me and carlos have diffenalty talked about it, its funny at times, but sometimes i'm sure that carlos can more than vouch for it, that it becomes very irritating sometimes. *chuckles* yeah, the lolita thing, i'm almost irresistable to girls below the age of 14, and above the age of 35, any thing inbetween is a little more difficult...
anyway, i agree with what you guys are saying, its all about the person and the boundaries set.
I haven't been much of a cuddle slut as of late, but thats because even before the surgery it hurt to be touched. I feel horrible because I've been pushing Carlos away a lot recently. :( I dont see kissing and cuddling as cheating either. If I see Carlos on a couch with a cute girl in his lap, I don't have to worry. There is a boundary to what is acceptable and non-acceptable contact, and as long as it's not crossed, I don't see what the issue would be.
Oh, and as for the attracting the wrong kind of attention, Carlos not only has problems with being percieved as gay, but for a long time he was a lolita magnet too. He had to struggle with a lot of issues as a result of it. He kept wondering what he was doing wrong to keep getting the attention of 12 year old girls. He never sought it, but it kept happening. Y'all have prolly already talked a lot about that, though. But yeah, he's your kindred brother on stuff like that.
if i can presume, please try not to feel horrible...i'm nowhere near as low as you and nekochan, but up until recently, i was too damn drained for contact and i'm still having the "lemme Aloone" days where i just want to snooze...
Nope, that's pretty much been me for the last three to four months. Once in a blue moon I'm all for contact, but the rest of the time, I'm totally hands off. Sometimes I don't even wanna kiss, and that's BAD. What makes it worse is the rare occasion Im in the mood for cuddles and Carlos is usually dead asleep or not around. But once Im regulated this should pass and I should be back to normal.
*nods* i totally get it-that's been me a huge chunk of this last year... i wanted to curl up in a corner and *sleep*, not hold hands or anything, i wanted *sleep*...when a doctor finally started balancing me, i was able to feel *a* difference that same day, and i can point to little things over the past two or three weeks that have been different...
cuddle parties are where people get together, wear pajamas, and lie around in a comfy pile.
One of the primary rules of such parties is that there is no dry humping.
I think the only time I've experienced casual, non-misleading cuddling was when E-chan took a THEM dinner group to some middle eastern restaurant where everyone sat in this cushioned area around a hookah. The entire pile consisted of E-chan, me on her right, and some other guy on her left, and lasted maybe twenty seconds.
I have trouble cuddling. I should say I have trouble just cuddling. Even when, say, I'm on a short trip and her mom is driving the car. *cough* So, I tend not to. >_>;; Yes, I'm a bad bad boy.
lol, i'm sorry chas...maybe if you get me really really drunk and promise to get a nice room...i MIGHT reconsider...eh eh? waddya say?!^^
*laughs* yeah, i know, some guys just can't keep the flood gates closed once the get within a certain distance.
I've thankfully never had that problem, i've always been more than content with just friends...could be because i've never gone much PAST just kissing...aside from light petting...i'm pretty much clueless! ^^ hehe.
What's up my brother. I'm right with ya buddy. I'm a huge cuddle slut and have been doing that for the past year and a half. Dating is so hyped up anymore, it's nice to just be really close with a couple people without having to worry about the whole dating thing.
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We are social animals. We crave physical contact and physical comfort. Wire monkeys we are not... Really, the people who are fucked up are the people who eschew physical contact with anyone except their mate because physical contact is, in fact, pretty damn important to our sanity and stability.
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Now, cuddles/kisses/flirting, that's all rather harmless. When I'm up for it, I can be just as much of a cuddle slut as anyone, but if hands started to roam places they shouldn't, then I'd get worried. Sex? No way, not with anyone but the one I'm married to.
I just hope Im making sense with what I'm trying to say.
Reply
I'm a cuddleslut, but if I meet someone who is uncomfortable with even a hug or such, I'll respect that as much as I can. I may find it sad that they can't accept a hug in the spirit I mean it in, but it is all the same their right--it's their own person, therefore they set the boundaries.
I tend to feel that sex outside a relationship is the same as kissing--it's something that should be discussed and the boundaries agreed upon. Where those boundaries end up lying depends entirely on the couple, of course. In some cases it will be monogamous, in some not. I don't personal have a problem with not... as long as it's been discussed and agreed on.
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At least for me, i know exactly where the line of friendship ends and something else begins, i've pushed it alot of times with friends, and have infact accidentally lead people on because of it...had ta learn the hard way ya see...
Yeah, me and carlos have diffenalty talked about it, its funny at times, but sometimes i'm sure that carlos can more than vouch for it, that it becomes very irritating sometimes.
*chuckles* yeah, the lolita thing, i'm almost irresistable to girls below the age of 14, and above the age of 35, any thing inbetween is a little more difficult...
anyway, i agree with what you guys are saying, its all about the person and the boundaries set.
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Oh, and as for the attracting the wrong kind of attention, Carlos not only has problems with being percieved as gay, but for a long time he was a lolita magnet too. He had to struggle with a lot of issues as a result of it. He kept wondering what he was doing wrong to keep getting the attention of 12 year old girls. He never sought it, but it kept happening. Y'all have prolly already talked a lot about that, though. But yeah, he's your kindred brother on stuff like that.
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One of the primary rules of such parties is that there is no dry humping.
I think the only time I've experienced casual, non-misleading cuddling was when E-chan took a THEM dinner group to some middle eastern restaurant where everyone sat in this cushioned area around a hookah. The entire pile consisted of E-chan, me on her right, and some other guy on her left, and lasted maybe twenty seconds.
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I have trouble cuddling. I should say I have trouble just cuddling. Even when, say, I'm on a short trip and her mom is driving the car. *cough* So, I tend not to. >_>;; Yes, I'm a bad bad boy.
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*laughs* yeah, i know, some guys just can't keep the flood gates closed once the get within a certain distance.
I've thankfully never had that problem, i've always been more than content with just friends...could be because i've never gone much PAST just kissing...aside from light petting...i'm pretty much clueless! ^^ hehe.
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Well, except I'm not a boy. And it's not HER mom. Or mine, actually. Once there was this time... but that was several years ago now.
I've never been that into cuddling with someone.
Give me sex, or give me death.
Or chocolate cake. I'd rather have that than death, I guess.
~_^
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punk, let me know when you've got TIME for your name brother! (j/k)
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