KAT-TUN - Rescue Part 2
Back when Pi graduated, Jin spent so many nights in the house NEWS got together (especially if you include the time after he started sleeping on their couch inside of in Pi's room), it was as if Jin had moved out himself. The food they got was so much better than the stuff in the dormitory. When Jin stops staying out, he keeps Kame up at night, talking about what kind of curtains they're going to have and the dogs they're going to buy.
"We have to graduate first, Jin," Kame says, usually just before he tells Jin to just sleep already. He doesn't talk about that girl, or about contracts; Jin doesn't ask if Kame's still thinking about her.
Kame doesn't move out when he graduates. When he graduates BY HIMSELF, which starts all sorts of rumours that their group is going to be broken up.
Pi's group have been in limbo since Uchi left that girl in intensive care (he said it was an accident, but, well, Jin never liked hanging out with him, anyway). Pi's strong. Pi's one of their stars, too good to be wasted, but too young to be sent out solo. Kame's a fantastic mimic. Put them together and Pi's got twice the reach. They're setting all kinds of records.
Jin doesn't blame Pi. He knows he shouldn't blame Kame. If Kame apologised, and hung out a bit more, maybe Jin would forgive him.
The door opens, light spilling in from the corridor. Jin sits up, too quickly, blood rushing to his head. Kame's loosening his tie with one hand even as he's pushing the door all the way open.
"Kame?"
"Wha-- Jin? What are you doing in here?"
"I'm waiting for you."
"This isn't your room," Kame says. "Look, I feel like I've made half of the country dance in time these last three months. Get out."
"No."
Jin's been sleeping in Kame's room for the past three weeks. This is the first time that Kame's come home. They're going to talk. Jin's waited too long for this. Just because Kame's graduated, it doesn't mean that Jin isn't stronger than him. Jin reaches out with his talent, just to make Kame sit still.
Kame goes crazy.
He doesn't just block, and reach around Jin to hold him instead. Kame swings out with his fists, rushing Jin and tumbling them both out into the corridor. Jin tastes blood, his teeth splitting his lip when his head hits the floor.
Kame doesn't let up. He's surprisingly tough for someone who looks like he hasn't slept in days. And he's stronger than Jin expects. Kame's been syncing who knows how many people, people who'd want to kill him, and Jin's still practicing with Juniors. Whatever, Jin will show him who's the strongest.
There's commotion in the corridor, but Jin's too busy grappling with Kame to see what it is-- Kame's bony knees fucking hurt-- and then he can feel it, the beat, Nakamaru.
Everything.
Stops.
Maru's someone that Jin should be able to beat, except for one advantage: Maru can beat-box. He can set Jin's and Kame's heart-beats and breath to a rhythm he doesn't have to share, and he can call out orders at the same time. Jin doesn't have the patience for that kind of work, and well, he's strong enough that he doesn't have to.
The other reason it works is because Jin doesn't fight Maru, not once he figures out what's going on. Maru's their leader. Ueda's older, but he'd rather be watching fairies. Maru and Kame are the only ones who'd even want to be in charge, and everyone knows mimics are better as right hands, not leaders.
"Gonna let you two go now," Maru says, followed by some scratches, squeaks and counting backwards from three. "Zero. Be good."
Kame picks himself up, brushes off his pants and strides down the corridor back to his room. He doesn't look at anyone in the crowd gathered. He doesn't look back.
Jin doesn't catch him, but that doesn't matter. Kame's ditched his jacket, but hasn't changed the door code. Jin gets Kame's balled-up tie smack in the face.
"I should have never told you my door code. I don't want you sleeping here, Jin."
"I won't sleep here without you, promise." Jin holds up his pinky, but Kame just glares. "But I never see you anymore, Kame. I-- I miss you."
Kame rubs his hand over his face. "Ok, shut the door," he says. "I'm not having this discussion where everyone can hear."
If Kame were angry with Jin, it would be one thing, but he just seems tired. Jin's not really angry about the money, that Kame's getting paid in a month what Jin gets in a year. Jin's angry because he's scared. Kame's lost so much weight since he graduated that Jin wants to wrap Kame up in his arms and never let go.
"I don't want you sleeping here again, Jin."
"It was a stupid fight," Jin says, bowing, eyes on his shoes. "I'm sorry."
"This isn't about the fight. This is my room. Not yours. Not ours."
Jin steps forward, and Kame steps back. It's now or never, a tiny room, and Kame freezes when Jin's lips touch his, freezes for just a moment, and then he's gripping Jin's upper arms and holding Jin a foot away from him.
"I don't want you sleeping here again," Kame says, like they didn't just kiss. Jin hates the smile Kame is giving him, like he's supposed to agree that this is all ok. "I've graduated. I'm supposed to be looking for people to contract now. We're too old for sleepovers."
"Kame--"
"Just go sleep. In your own room. Please, Jin."
Maru's waiting outside, trying to look there's any other reason why he's loitering there after curfew.
"We made up," Jin says. The smile hurts Jin's face, but it means Maru won't go ask Kame what happened. "No more fighting in the corridors, Nakamarad."
Jin's bed is cold, and all his pillow smells like is laundry.
---
-2006-
Just after Kame's birthday, the directive comes down from Johnny himself: they're going to graduate. No one thought they would; a group's supposed to have talents that match up. They're supposed to sync. They managed it maybe twenty times in the five years they trained as a unit.
According to Junno, who seems to think that their lives are video games, Jin's their tank, Kame's support magic (red or green, whatever that means), Koki's white magic (pain relief and psychic tourniquets) and Junno's a knight/technologist. Ueda's black magic, because honestly, no one's sure what Ueda can do, but there are always bodies on floor that no one else claims. Nakamaru's their sniper/strategist. He and Koki are the only two who can hold someone safely without having to sync them, and Koki's their medic.
Kame's supposed to let Jin sync him first, let Jin have the lead, the way he had to let Yamapi have the lead, his talent in harmony. When they're on a job, he's professional. When they're not, Kame's... not.
Nakamaru tries to separate them when they're off-call, but the apartment their group gets is just a smaller cosmos of the dormitory. It's half of one floor of a building custom-built for talents: six bedrooms, two bathrooms, communal kitchens/living/dining.
Kame hates someone else taking control of him. He follows orders. He respects Nakamaru. He respects his sempai. But Kame hates having the choice taken away from him, that numbness. At least Yamapi didn't expect Kame to like it.
He hates that Jin doesn't understand why Kame hates it, that Kame hates syncing and not Jin. The way Jin sulks and mopes and picks fights with Kame. At least where Kame has bruises, he's not numb.
Nakamaru warns them. Takizawa-sempai warns them. Takuya-sempai warns them, both, separately, and Kame always thought that would be the most humiliating experience he could imagine. He apologises, to each of them. He promises himself not to lose his temper with Jin, not again.
In August, after a mission that forces them to stay awake and active for twenty-four hours straight, Kame and Jin get called up before Johnny. An American associate has proposed an exchange, one of Johnny's best and brightest for one of his.
"YOU two decide who goes. I want an unanimous answer."
Their first answer is the same: "Jin."
"I didn't make him!" Jin starts.
"Jin should go. His English skills are superior," Kame says. "If I might put myself forward for the Yokohama operation..."
Twenty minutes later, stepping out of the elevator, Jin says: "Um, uh. Thanks. I'll write."
"Ok," Kame says, arms crossed behind his back, holding onto his own wrists so tight that he leaves marks.
---
Jin meets Sasha in LA. She has red-brown skin and blonde streaks through thick hair that reaches past her shoulders in waves. She laughs deep in her throat when Jin tries to compliment her eyes with the pigeon Spanish Yuu has taught him. Jin's English is better than Sasha's Japanese, but that's not a problem when Sasha is the one putting Jin's hands on her hips, the one making Jin feel it, moving to the beat with her.
Sasha dances because she loves it, not just because it's how she makes her living. In America, women can sync (which makes Jin wonder, mostly about his mom, and maybe Mary). Sasha's a friend of a friend of one of the guys Jin's working with over here. She's an independent contractor, not company, but never worked for any of their rivals. Jin finds that out three weeks after he's met her, when Joey takes him aside to tell Jin that Sasha may break his heart, but she won't get Jin in trouble with the bosses. By that point, Jin's ready to say he doesn't care what the bosses think.
Jin's not used to falling for women like this. He avoids Sasha, and all the clubs, for a week. He almost buckles and calls Kame, but Jin doesn't want this to be the first thing they'll talk about since he left. He thinks he knows what Kame would say anyway, imagining Kame's voice soft in his ear, rambling but fond, makes Jin feel better.
Sasha asks where he's been, if he's had a job, that she missed Jin.
The truth is, Jin's not used to falling for anyone like this. Sasha lets Jin buy her drinks, but she buys him nail polish and takes him outlet mall shopping. Sometimes they dance, and sometimes they talk. She's seen pictures of Reio and Jin's seen pictures of her sister. They swap phone numbers and stay up until sunrise, talking about hot oil conditioners, yoga poses and the dreams too fragile to talk about while the sun's out.
The Friday before Halloween, Jin dresses up like a pirate and Sasha dresses up like a police officer. Pirates scowl, but Jin can't stop grinning. He's wearing her hand-cuffs like bracelets, bound wrists up behind her neck, while Sasha grinds forward, strong thighs braced between Jin's legs. Sasha finally kisses him, deep, wet and dirty.
And then, she pulls away, dipping and ducking out of the arc of the cuffs. Jin's English is good enough to read her lips when Sasha mouths: "we need to talk."
"Look, ok, I think you're sweet, Jin, but I promised myself I wouldn't get involved with any more guys who push."
"But-- so do you." Jin hasn't worked with Sasha, but he's never made a secret of what he can do.
"Yeah, and that's what I like. I want to know it's me pushing you, not you pushing me to push you."
"I didn't."
"Jin, you're doing it right now. God, it's even easier to feel without the beat. Can't you feel yourself reaching out?"
Sasha's upset, speaking fast. Jin wants to calm her down, apologise, but he's not sure he understands. Jin loves dancing with Sasha, her confidence, her moves, the way she makes him feel. He wants her, wants Sasha to want him-- his pirate pants are loose enough that that can't be a surprise.
"Don't-- didn't you want to kiss me?" Jin asks.
"Oh, baby, I want to do a lot more than kiss you."
Sasha's still got a grip on the chains linking the cuffs. She's biting her lip.
"I know I'm strong," Jin says. "But I am not trying to push you. I want-- I want what you said you want."
"Honey, I am done with men who can't ask for what they want."
"Push me," Jin says, blood rushing to his face, rushing to other places, already out of his control. "Please."
Sasha nods, decisive, and she doesn't undo the hand-cuffs until she needs to, to strip Jin of his jacket and shirts. Her bed's a king, the sheets smooth under Jin's back. Sasha rides him, and nothing's weird, nothing's confusing. Jin doesn't have to think.
"Let go, let me in."
Jin loves it. It's not just that she's calling all the shots, her weight over him holding Jin steady, pressing the crossed junction of Jin's wrists above his head. It's Jin's hips moving just the way Sasha likes, a wicked smile curving on her full lips. "Yeah, good boy, mm-hmm, oh!"
He's hard, so hard, and he can't come, can only move, muscles straining to match her own sinuous moves.
"Shh, shh, baby. The wait'll be worth it," she says, when he starts sobbing, long past please. He can't, can't, can't until she does, and she's holding him tight, tight circles of her hips, so close-- he wants-- he needs--
It comes back to him how to breathe on his own long before he remembers his own name. Sasha's sitting up against the headboard wearing Jin's white floaty pirate shirt. Jin's head is in her lap, and her hand is in his hair.
Jin helps Sasha cook breakfast the next morning, cutting whatever she puts in front of him, supervising her toaster. The sun's warm through her kitchen windows. He reaches under the table, toes seeking the arch of her foot. Sasha moves her foot away.
"Ok, so, Jin, you know I like you, but..."
Jin swallows, sips his juice to rinse his mouth. "At the end, right?"
"Mm-hmm."
"I didn't mean to."
"Baby, I guessed that." Sasha reaches across the table, taking Jin's hand in hers. Jin has a sudden shocking memory of Kame doing the same thing; he looks at his plate, not trusting his face. "You were gorgeous," Sasha says. "The way you let me in. I want to keep trying, you and me-- if you want?"
Jin clutches Sasha's hand like a lifeline.
He learns more with Sasha than he thinks he ever did at Johnny's. When they talk, they talk about the talent, about pushing, about how to make it work, how to turn it off. Jin gets better, Sasha can push him farther without Jin accidentally hijacking her hold, but the sex gets worse. They stop talking about Armani and Prada, and Jin finds shopping bags in Sasha's hall from trips he never heard about.
At Thanksgiving, at Sasha's parents, Jin catches Sasha dancing with another guy, just a friend, a friend of the family, and a guy who can't push back. She looks so happy, it hurts.
The first week of December, Jin joins in on a job that takes him up to San Francisco for a week. After celebratory sake and whiskey, Jin drunk-dials Pi, who hangs up on him even though it's a quite reasonable time in Tokyo. He doesn't think to check-in with Sasha until the weekend. She says she's a not a girl who can't give her guy space. Jin remembers sleeping in Kame's room for three weeks straight.
For Christmas, Jin gets a sweater with lurex accents, a hug goodbye and good luck, and a letter from management saying that his group will be visiting New York on business in the new year.
-2007-
The trick about hotels is to look as though you know exactly what you're doing and you're totally supposed to be there. No one stops Jin as he walks through the lobby, straight through to the lifts, and up to the fourteenth floor.
It helps that it's two in the morning and the lobby's deserted. Jin got lost on the way from JFK to the hotel, which looked close enough on a street map that Jin thought he could walk.
The company notified him of the dates and which hotel. Maru told Jin about the view from the fourteenth floor in the email he sent after they'd all checked in on Tuesday. He also sent Jin the number of his US mobile phone, which Jin has written down somewhere in his lyrics notebook. That's plan B.
Jin shuffles along the corridor, stopping in front of every door and shutting his eyes to concentrate. He's gone all the way down one wing, back past the lifts and half way down the other side when he stops.
This one, Jin thinks, and grins, almost giggles because, shit, it worked, and it's close on three (though it's only midnight in LA) and he's been in transit for more than twelve hours, running on airplane peanuts and airplane coffee.
Jin hopes, and knocks.
And knocks again, when nothing happens, because he was so sure. He hears rustling then.
Kame answers the door in an old, loose pink T-shirt and black boxer shorts. The neck of the T-shirt is stretched, sliding down on one side to show the exposed curve of Kame's shoulder. His hair's shorter. Even sleep mussed, it doesn't reach Kame's shoulders any more.
"Um," Jin says.
Kame blinks at him, reaching up to rub his eyes. "Jin?"
Jin swallows, nods. "Yeah."
Jin has not booked a hotel room. Jin has spent more money on his flights across the country than he's spent the entire four months he's been in the US, telling himself that it'd be worth it. It had to be.
Jin opens his mouth, but no words come out. He doesn't want to fuck this up. But then Kame nods, as though Jin really did say something, and he turns in the doorway, walking back into his hotel room.
"Don't forget to lock the door," Kame says, and that's all the invitation Jin needs.
The bed's a double, which makes him pause, but even though Kame's got the room to himself, he's only rumpled one side of the bed. The left, just like the old days.
In the hotel bathroom, Jin digs out his make-up bag and scrubs off the eyeliner, mascara and the lip-gloss he spent fifteen minutes perfecting in an airport washroom, moisturises and brushes his teeth. His pyjamas are black, a matched set, with satin ribbon trim around the deep v-neck of the top. He's not aiming for sexy right now.
Jin shuts off the bathroom light before he opens the door. It turns out he shouldn't have bothered, because Kame left the bedside lamp on on the side of the bed that Kame isn't. He's even turned down the covers on Jin's side of the bed. Jin slips under the sheets, flicks off the light and tries to sleep.
It's a double, but it might as well be a two twins and three feet of space between them. It feels nothing like the old days, not at all, because they're halfway across the world from Tokyo and Kame has rolled onto his side, curling up with his arm under his pillow, instead of under Jin's.
He can hear Kame breathing, shallow and uneven. Jin can almost feel the tension in the other man's body mirroring his own, though that could be wishful thinking.
Jin tries to sleep. The room looked dark when he turned the light off, but now Jin can see light creeping around the edges of the curtains. According to Jin's watch, it's four-thirty in the afternoon in Tokyo.
Kame turns over, fingers touching Jin's arm, groping down to his wrist.
"Jin," he says. "We can talk in the morning. Go to sleep."
---
Kame wakes up very warm and a little sweaty, with Jin's head on his shoulder and their arms and legs tangled together. It's nice. It's also confusing. If Kame thinks about it, it becomes more confusing, so he doesn't think about it yet.
Jin smells like he could use a shower, but so does Kame. It's still nice. Familiar. Kame wriggles a hand around to get a grip on Jin's shoulder.
"Jin. Jin, we have to get up."
Jin's body goes tense in Kame's arms, too quickly, so that Kame knows that Jin has been awake for a while. Not moving, for a while, not rubbing against Kame what Kame can feel poking against his thigh.
"Do you want the first shower?" Kame asks, because it's the least confusing question he can think of. "I take longer to get ready than I used to."
"I probably take less," Jin says, peeking up from Kame's neck. "Except, I guess, my hair."
"Less than an hour?" Kame asks. "I don't want to miss breakfast."
"Yeah, less than an hour. I'm streamlined my routine a lot over here."
Jin's hair is loose and a mess. It looks like he hasn't cut it since he left last September. But when he smiles, his smile is the only thing Kame can see.
"Um-- Kame?"
"Yeah?"
"I can't shower until you let go."
Kame remakes their bed while Jin showers. He doesn't want housekeeping talking, and it gives Kame something to do that isn't agonising between three T-shirts, two cardigans and four pairs of jeans, all of which go with the boots he brought that have the most heel. Jin would laugh; Jin will laugh when Kame tells him about it.
Jin sticks his head out of the bathroom, hair hanging in damp tendrils around his face and with the collar of the white, plush bathrobe framing Jin's bare collarbones.
"Shower's free."
Kame finds his travel hair-drier for Jin, and then strips efficiently, ducking into the shower cubicle behind the frosted glass door. He shampoos his hair, rinses, conditions and scrubs shower gel over his body and all four limbs. When he hears the hair-drier turn off, he knows that he's just stalling for time.
Kame steps out of the shower, the bathmat slipping under his foot, and he ends up tumbling into Jin's arms. He can't feel Jin's body the way he could when they were still in bed-- the robe's too thick-- but Kame can feel Jin's hands cool on the shower-heated skin of Kame's back.
Jin lifts up his hands; Kame doesn't let go of his grip on the collar of Jin's bathrobe.
"Kame?" Jin sounds like he's trying to sound casual. He doesn't.
"Did I make you drop something?"
"Just eye cream. It's-- Kame--?"
"You make me so confused," Kame says. "I've missed you so much, Jin."
"I missed you, too. But, yeah, this is-- this is really mixed messages for me."
Kame leans in, bracing his weight against Jin, pushing Jin's back up against the bathroom tiles. He licks his lips.
"Can I--?" Kame asks.
"Yes, fuck, yes."
Kame was thinking about how kisses look, how they're supposed to go, but then Jin opens his mouth, warm, wet and welcoming, and Kame doesn't have to think about faking this. He wants to be licking in, wants to be sucking on Jin's lower lip, wants to be rocking his hips against Jin's. He wants Jin's hands on his arse, pulling Kame close and tight against him. Kame wants to pick open the knot to Jin's bathrobe with his fingers, pushing up close between Jin's parted legs, water from Kame's shower dripping down his body and dampening Jin's boxer shorts.
"Sorry," Kame says, pulling back. Words are difficult to string together; he's out of breath. He can sense Jin's heartbeat racing where they're pressed chest to chest, but they're not in time.
"What?"
Jin's lips look dark and swollen. Distracting. Just kissing, and it leaves Kame like this.
"It's been... a while for me. With this... kind of thing."
Jin's lips curve.
"You're not enjoying this," Kame says, confused because Jin looks happy, but he's not-- Kame rolls his hips to prove his point, his hands slid between the robe and the small of Jin's back.
"I am enjoying this," Jin says, sending the hip-roll right back. "If you mean I'm not getting hard, I, uh, took care of myself in the shower."
His cheeks are pink, and, somehow, Jin makes looking down at Kame look shy. Kame's never noticed how long Jin's eyelashes are.
"Hey, if I'd had any idea this was coming, I--"
Someone thumps on the hotel room door and they both freeze, looking at the closed, but unlocked, bathroom door. It's Nakamaru, shouting through that they're all going down to breakfast now.
"That means no more interruptions," Jin says.
"That means we have five minutes to get dressed," Kame says, and then has a terrible thought. "Unless you aren't staying tonight?"
"Do you want me to stay?"
"Yeah."
"Then, yeah," Jin says, "I can stay."
It takes them twenty minutes to get down to breakfast, including the best elevator ride of Kame's life, with Jin's hand in his, tucked into one of the pockets of Kame's coat.
"You found Jin," Nakamaru says, when they find the others downstairs.
"Yeah."
---
That night, they both shower and then brush their teeth. When Kame comes out of the bathroom, Jin's lying in bed with the covers up to his neck and his pyjamas on the floor. Jin's smile is tentative, but he isn't shy about watching Kame strip.
Kame starts with kissing. Kissing is easy. Familiar. Kissing is as good as it was that morning, and even better when he lies on top of Jin, pinning him down.
It's good. It's normal. It's more fun than trying this out with Yamapi was. Even if Kame's not more than half-hard, it's thrilling how much Jin likes what he's doing, his palms moving slick over Kame's back, all the pretty noises he makes when Kame kisses down the side of Jin's neck.
"Kame. Ka-- Kazuya!" Jin calls out Kame's name three times before Kame braces himself up to have a good view of Jin's face in the glow of the one bedside lamp.
"It's ok," Jin says, though he sounds too nervous for Kame to believe that. "If you don't know what to do with a guy, it's ok."
Kame doesn't know how to explain that he tried things out with one of Jin's exes. It was just the once and they didn't even get undressed, Yamapi coming sticky all over Kame's hand down his pants. This doesn't seem the time. This is already better than that.
"It's not that," Kame says. "I'm just used to syncing when I'm with someone like this."
Jin goes very stiff under Kame, very still, and Kame's suddenly afraid, words tumbling out almost immediately, before he can think, that he's not asking Jin to do that, that Kame's not some kind of pervert weirdo, really, it's just he's used to (Ran) girls who like that sort of thing.
"Do you want to?" Jin asks. He's looking at Kame with one eye with the rest of his bright, bright red face turned into the pillow.
Ok, maybe Kame is a pervert-weirdo, because he's thought about this, about syncing Jin so many times that the urge to try wells up so fast that Kame has to bite his lip to clear his head.
"We're both talents, Jin."
"Maybe we could, like, roleplay. Like, you tell me what to do, what you would be making me do, and I'll do it."
Kame doesn't know why Jin would offer, but it's too tempting an offer for him to resist. Kame graduated over a year ago. His control should be good enough for this.
"Ok," Kame says. "Jin: I make you put your arms back around me and we kiss more."
Next, Kame tells Jin to spread his legs wider. Kame likes lying on top of Jin, likes the almost co-ordinated rhythm of their bodies moving against each other, the touch of Jin's skin, the soft, open wetness of Jin's mouth.
"I make you give me your hands," Kame says, and Jin does that, grinning so pretty up at him, wriggling under Kame's weight, hard; they both are, bellies slick with more than sweat.
Kame keeps checking Jin's eyes, but they don't go glassy and unfocused, no matter how still Jin holds himself, when his body only rolls with Kame's thrusts.
"I put our arms above our heads."
They have to shift diagonally on the bed to fit. Kame touches his fingers to Jin's wrists, just testing the speed of Jin's pulse. Experience has taught Kame that he can dip a little, can match someone's pulse by mimicking, borrowing their pulse for his, not replacing theirs. Kame has enough control to stay this side of the line, and anyway, Jin's too strong a talent for Kame not to hit Jin blocking him if he so much as tried to sync. Mimicking Jin's pulse, it's just adding to the illusion.
Kame's never been this turned on with someone else. Even with Ran, who lets him go further than any girl Kame has ever danced with, Kame always has to hold himself back, hold back wanting too much, but this is just pretend.
"Call my name," Kame says, and Jin echoes: "Call my name," his voice a rough whisper, a sync voice, Kame's words, not Kame's order. His eyes are still lucid, still moving, still looking right at Kame. Kame, who is still holding Jin's wrists, and their hearts are beating in time, Jin's chest rising to meet Kame's with every breath.
Kame's synced Jin. Jin. It shouldn't be possible. Kame shouldn't be able to-- not breath and blood, not by accident, not Jin.
Kame pulls back, slowly, as slow and gentle as he would with Ran. Cutting control when he went so deep before Jin's body knows it's got control back is just as damaging as forcing his way in.
His erection is gone, even if Jin's is still there if lessening. At least that means they're out of sync. Kame feels sick.
The first noise that comes out of Jin's throat is a croak.
"I'm sorry," Kame says. He doesn't know what else to say, what could be enough. He stopped, it was an accident, he's so, so sorry.
Kame asks if he can get Jin some water. Jin nods, or maybe Kame just hopes he does. The water will help Jin speak again.
Jin just stares at the water glass in Kame's hand. Kame has to get back onto the bed, and help Jin sit up before he'll drink any.
When the water's all gone, Kame puts the glass down on the bedside table. Jin hasn't moved off him.
"Do you-- do you want me to get Nakamaru?"
Jin tries to roll over into Kame's lap. Kame finds this confusing, ready to sleep in the bath, or even the corridor, but he's not controlling Jin, so he lets Jin climb him, lets him nuzzle Kame for cuddles.
They leave tomorrow, and Kame will have two months to improve his control. This won't happen again.
---
It's only Junno and Maru who pick Jin up from Narita-- the group's in the middle of an operation-- but Maru promises that everyone will be there when they get Jin home.
Kame, Ueda and Koki are sitting around their dining table, currently expanded to seat its maximum of twelve, wine glasses and beer bottles spread around the places. There are also four girls and a guy, all normal, and one sitting next to Kame is that girl, Ran, from Kame's first night at Ex, all those years ago.
Kame stands, and so does Ran. And so does the girl on Kame's other side, longer hair than Ran, shorter than Kame. New girl glares at Jin. Maybe it would be less shocking if all three hadn't stood up at exactly the same time, in exactly the same way.
Maybe not, since Jin could feel it, too, the pull to push back his chair, to stand, even though he was already standing. Kame doesn't turn away fast enough to cover the shock that ripples across his face.
Kame and his girls disappear into the kitchen, sounds of running water and, soon, smells of meat sauce, garlic, tomato.
Jin's introduced to Ueda and Nakamaru's girls and Junno's boy. Koki shrugs, says he's not ready to settle down.
"The other two, they're Kame's," Maru says. "I guess he'll introduce when they come back with the food."
"Two already, what a stud."
"Ah, well, I think he met, uh--"
"Ran?"
"Oh, he's already told you about her. I think they met a couple of years back. Quite romantic."
"Yeah," Jin says.
Kame comes back with bowls of pasta marinara. Jin's favourite six months ago. Right now, what really misses is something Japanese. With six hands, Kame distributes the bowls with efficiency.
Kame didn't write, not for the two months they've been apart, but Jin didn't write for the first four. Body language's always been better for them, Jin's lips and the quirks of Kame's eyebrows, but this Kame's doesn't move like the one Jin knows. This Kame doesn't smile like the one Jin knows.
He's had two months, and Jin can see how much he's worked with them, the way he's still working them, all the casual touches, all the casual commands, like whispers just out of Jin's hearing. Jin remembers the way Kame hugged him outside international departures at JFK, the way he'd told himself it was nothing like Sasha hugging him goodbye.
Jin should have known better, should have known he'd fuck it up again. Talents run to less than 1% of the population. Who'd want to sync a talent when you could have your pick of everybody else?
---
-2009-
Jin gets into Ex after five in the morning, sending Ben to scout the floor and Jerry with their drink orders. He finds Ryo and Pi, easy, and Maru, Koki and Junno drowning in women, only some of them theirs. Jin doesn't expect to find Ueda. He's a lot happier these days, more sure, but he's still usually wherever they've set up the dungeons tonight.
Ben comes back saying he's spotted Ran and Jelly, but not Kame. Jin goes out to investigate.
Jin can't find Kame, either, which was strange, because Ran and Jelly were rolling and snapping in co-ordination you didn't get any other way. You didn't need of line of sight, not technically, but that was a trick for a job, not a crowded dance floor, where you needed to keep more than your own limbs from slamming into other people.
Jin watches Kame's girls dance, wondering why Kame wasn't with them. Jin didn't sleep with all his guys, just the ones where it sort of happened, where the feeling was right. But dancing, dancing with someone who wanted you moving them, that was why Jin contracted, again and again, for that feeling.
It's Ran, Jin realises. It's Ran moving Jelly. She's got to be like Sasha, just trying not to look it.
Jin wades in, as close as he can, and then grabs both with gesture of his hands.
"Does Kamenashi-san need us?" Ran asks, more polite than Jelly's: "What do you think Kamenashi-san will say when he hears you're trying to sync us?"
Jin leans in, even though the bass beat thumping has them all lip-reading.
"What do I think he'll say when I tell him you're syncing each other?"
---
Kame hears someone moving around below, back down the fire escape Kame just climbed. It's rickety, rust coming off on Kame's hands. This is what you get with having your nightclub in abandoned warehouses. Kame jumps down from the pipe he was sitting on, and picks his way back across to the edge, leaning down between the two stone eagles.
It's a guy, Kame thinks, from the shoulders, but it's too dark to see much else. Maybe it's something residual from before, when he caught Jin's practice, but something about the silhouette makes him hope.
"Hey!" Kame calls down. "Jin?"
Jin looks up, black brim of his fedora stark against pale skin, black hair. Kame can't read his expression, but Jin does take the hand that Kame offers, grip strong, to help Jin pull up onto the roof.
"It's cold up here," Jin says. He's rubbing his hands down his arms. It makes Kame stare at Jin's delicate wrists. He was just holding Jin's hand.
"Hey, can I bum a cigarette?"
"Ah, yeah."
Kame lights Jin up, and for several moments, they just stand there, on the roof, smoking.
"So, uh, you got new guys," Kame says.
"Ben and Jerry. Jerry's the one with more tattoos." Jin says they're still dancing downstairs. They're both Americans, working visas, but the sort of contracts they make don't mean much to immigration. They'll only be able to stay with Jin so long before they have to go back.
Kame asks how long they've got.
Two months for Ben, three months for Jerry. When Kame says Jin's contracted's name, it sounds like Kame's girl.
"Have you ever thought of contracted a woman?" Kame asks.
Jin shakes his head.
"Junno always contracts with guys, too, though I'm pretty sure he only dates girls."
"He dates Rena. She's got him whipped."
"I asked him about it once. He said he thinks it's weirder to be moving as a woman when he's not one."
"Not a problem I've ever worried about," Jin says. "I just prefer guys."
Jin's lips and eyelids look like they're shimmering with the same colour, though in the night, Kame can't tell if it's a bronze or a steel. His hair is reaching his shoulders, dark again, and looking so soft.
"Well, I prefer talents, and but I don't find as many women admitting they've got talent, especially in Japan. And two talents, that's hard to work. Who does what, you know?"
Kame wishes he could knock Jin's sunglasses off as easily as he could touch his own nose.
"Like with two guys?" Kame asks.
"Touché."
"Don't you ever wish-- I really don't mean this to be offensive, it's just I've been wondering a lot myself lately..."
"Do you I wish--?"
"Wouldn't you rather be normal?"
"I'd rather be me," Jin says. "It's complicated, but I'm me. And, anyway, you've got girls."
Kame can't suppress a bitter laugh. "I'm a pervert. You know that."
"If you think having a lesbian harem makes you a pervert, Kame, you need to go back downstairs and see what else people are doing on that dance floor."
"Jelly only likes women. Ran's... fine with both," Kame says, because facts are something that keeps the tide of poison down inside of him.
"We sync, and that's-- good, but I don't sleep with them. Ran found Jelly, introduced us. Ran's got some talent, but she can do more working with me."
"So, who do you sleep with?" Jin asks. "Um-- just-- fuck. Don't answer that."
"I only get off on syncing people. So, I have the work. I have my right hand. It's good. It works. I have contracts with Ran and Jelly, so I know I'm still controlling the talent, it's not controlling me. I haven't gone crazy and started forcing anyone."
Sometimes Kame can piggyback the way Ran and Jelly feel, their pleasure, when he's helped them have having fun together, but Kame doesn't think he needs to be any lower in Jin's eyes.
"Kame-- I-- uh--"
Kame glances at Jin and has to look away. Disgust, he thinks he could handle better than Jin's pity.
"I don't think you'd force anybody, not unless it was work. You've never forced me."
"You don't remember in New York?"
"Maybe I made you sync me, ever think of that?"
"Still think you're stronger?" Kame asks.
"I know I'm stronger," Jin says, making a gesture that makes Kame flick his smouldering cigarette butt off the roof. "It'd burnt to nothing anyway."
When Kame was young, he thought that Johnny isolated them from anyone outside the company because they were dangers to their families, talents without training. Now Kame knows that old pathways are strong pathways, harder to defend. Jin's the first person Kame ever synced, throwing that baseball at the testing. Jin's the last person Kame would want to hurt, but he can't even protect Jin from himself.
"I'm going back down," Kame says. This is the longest conversation he can remember having with Jin in months, maybe years, but he can't take more of how confused Jin makes him. He jumps down onto the fire escape.
"Tell your Jelly to keep her claws out of me," Jin says.
Kame turns back to Jin. "Is that how you knew I was up here?"
"How did you know I was the one climbing up?" Jin asks, turning question for question. When Kame doesn't answer, Jin shrugs, and walks further away from edge, vanishing from sight. "Yeah, who else would be dumb enough to climb up here, right? Thanks for the light, Kame. See you around."
---
Back on the floor, Jin finds Ben and Jerry and a pina colada that's way too warm to even think about drinking.
"Kamenashi's been watching us," Jerry says. "And I don't think he's looking for us, if you catch my drift."
Kame's on the dance floor, back between Ran and Jelly, hips and shoulders fluid. He's stripped his jacket off somewhere, bare muscled arms and a black singlet. The song changes, a blending shift of beat, and Kame hits a pose: stop. Kame and his girls go off the floor, towards the bar-vans, not the VIP section. Jin wishes he could hear what they're saying to each other.
"You want another drink?" Ben asks.
"Yeah, but I'll get it myself."
Even VIP, Kame can't cut the line if he doesn't join the line. Jin walks up behind them to see Jelly stamp her foot and to hear her say: "oh, just get laid." Kame stumbles backwards, jerky, and Ran only remembers to hold her hands out like she physically pushed Kame a second too late.
Kame turns as he finds his feet, going stiff in Jin's arms once he realises who caught him. Jin doesn't let him go.
"I'm sorry, they think they're funny."
Over Kame's shoulder, Jin can see Ran and Jelly hi-five each other and drift back to the dance floor. They wave as they go, leaving Jin alone with Kame.
"There's something I should have told you on the roof," Jin starts. "No, I should've told you in New York."
"Jin--"
"Please, just-- just let say this, ok? I met this girl in LA. And, fuck, you know I've never gone for girls, but there was something about her. Something I couldn't resist."
"She's a talent, like your Ran, but stronger. We did stuff. She pushed me, that's what they call it over there. And I loved it, fuck, I loved it so much, I couldn't stop myself making her sync me. I'd know if I did that to you."
"If you..."
"I said pretend. I wanted you to do it for real. But I didn't want you to think I was weak. You hate talents who sync."
"I don't... I don't like being synced myself," Kame whispers, and Jin feels Kame's body softening against his. "Jin, you-- you didn't block me?"
"Kame, I just wanted you in, I wanted to feel you moving me so bad. I want that with you. I trust you, Kame."
"I've always thought I didn't have enough control," Kame says, and he doesn't look confused any more. "Jelly thinks I have too much."
"Finally something we agree on."
"I still want you, Jin," Kame says, his voice rough. "I still think about having you. That night, what I would have done, if we didn't stop."
"I want you. I pick fights with your girls because I can't contract with you."
That makes Kame's eyes go dark, makes him rock forward against Jin, leaning up to take Jin's mouth, and if Jin had to control his own legs, he wouldn't still be standing.
"Like that?" Kame asks, when they're both breathing hard. "You want that?"
"Please."
"Ok, we're being a floor show," Kame says. "Come home with me?"
"Only if you promise not to make me do anything too stupid."
Linking Jin's pinky with his, Kame lifts their hands and presses his lips to the veins on the inside of Jin's wrist.
"Promise."