Five Times Faith Should’ve Hitchhiked Instead (And One Time It's Better That She Didn't)
Author: Regala Electra
Fandoms: Supernatural & BtVS/AtS
Pairing: Faith/Dean
Rating: PG-13
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5. If she has to listen to Sam and Dean bitch about Dean's taste in music one more time, she will buy a tape of fucking Britney Spears from some low-rent quick mart, scribble Metallica on it and make sure it's broken enough at the plastic edges that it'll get jammed up in cassette player. And fuck, she really digs the car, but she's seriously close to making good on her threat.
4. They're driving back to the graveyard to pick up Dean from his usual task of salting and burning the bones when it happens. "You know my brother really cares for you," Sam says. Faith figures if she opens the car door and rolls out real quick, she'll only break a couple of bones. Instead she answers, That's only ‘cause I can put both legs behind my head without stretching. Sam ignores this and continues his sensitive talk and Faith makes a fist around the handle of the car door just in case it gets too meaningful in this car.
3. She gets picked up outside of Mosquero, New Mexico. If she can not have to look at cows again for a good long while then she figures she'll be good. Demons are possessing cows, man. That’s fucked up. Faith gets in and doesn't get why Dean's grasping the steering wheel white-knuckled until Sam stage-whispers, "We found an obit in the Santa Fe New Mexican about a Jane Doe that matched your description." Dean doesn't laugh when Faith explains that when she goes, she'll make sure that there isn't a body to bury much less be discovered. And she doesn’t understand why he isn’t comforted by that.
2. "Faith, this is our dad," should’ve been her first warning to turn and run the other way. She'll just live out in the corn fields for a fucking while and be one with nature and shit. John Winchester sits shotgun, but it's clear from the way his body moves that he believes he should be the one driving this car. Worse, he's actually asking questions of her. They’re the sort of questions that had Faith's old man been an actual father to her, he might have asked of boys she brought home (she never brought them home). The do you really think you're good enough for my child questions. Somehow, Faith doesn't think impressing on Dean's father just how fucking awesome she is in the sack will help her any. She gives him some insight on the Slayer gig and he shares this look with Dean, one that makes her skin itch, like she’s just passed some of test and John Winchester might think she’s okay for his son. And that’s just, well, it’s damn uncomfortable. Like being accepted.
1. Dean's trying to the charm the pants off the two little Slayerettes Faith's brought in tow. The girls had “helped” Faith out in a fight with a demon by throwing a fucking rock at the demon's head. Faith uses sarcasm quotes because the demon, as she'd briefed the girls, had incredible speed and moved the fuck out of the way. Faith had gotten the hit. Her shoulder was dislocated and she had to pop in herself after the girls had shuddered at the sight of Faith's left arm hanging limply. So it's a day later and it turned out Dean and Sam were nearby and Faith thought it wouldn't be much trouble. No, it would be no trouble at all, so long as the volume was turned up all the way, blaring out the girls' yapping. She's damn wrong.
If they giggle again at Dean's story of how he shot at the Woman in White to save his brother, she will kill them all. With a spoon too, 'cause it'll hurt more. She'll just mortally wound Sam, the supposed innocent bystander, in revenge for his past love doctor bullshit. Holy shit. She gets it now.
"I'm in love with you," she states, somewhat dazed, looking at the back of Dean's head.
That gets Dean's attention and he slams on the brakes. He looks at her from the rearview mirror and grins - incredibly amused and oh-so-fucking pleased with himself. He casts a look at Sam, hell, there’s something like triumph on his face. "Took you long enough," Dean says, but there’s honest relief in his tone.
The car's stopped. She can get out now and hitchhike back to sanity. But she doesn't. Instead she smiles and says, “Well, I guess you’re stuck with me.”
Dean shrugs as if he'd already come to that conclusion a long time ago. “Looks like.”
0. "Beloved, sexy, and flexible girlfriends get shotgun, Sammy," Faith says as she opens the passenger side door, ignoring his call for shotgun. "Or I could just sit on your lap."
"Hell no," Dean replies, failing at keeping a good pissed off tone.
"Dean's still upset that you said I had nicer abs," Sam says as he ducks out of Dean's half-hearted slap to the head.
"Would I lie about that?" she says, feigning hurt and doing a pout for good measure.
"Yes," Dean and Sam say simultaneously.
She shakes her head. "That's still damn weird. Guess we better take this show on the road."
And they drive off (not into the fucking sunset, she has to add. They're going the other way, kicking up road dirt as the Impala gets into its comfortable 60 miles per hour cruising speed). Faith hands Dean a tape she labeled AC/DC and he smiles gratefully at her, even winks, just 'cause he can.
She can't help but cackle as The Right Stuff comes on full blast. "New Kids on the Block, dude," she says in reply to Dean’s what the fuck expression. She then shouts, seeing Sam doubled up in laughter in the backseat, "Wicked awesome tunes!"
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