76th Journey [Voice + Action Post]
[Off line: Apology gift]
[Left on the nightstand of each room: Rin's, Shouryuu's and the Kirins'. Rokuta's chocolates have a peach filling and Keiki's have a lemon one. With a note:
Thanks for putting up with me. I'm sorry.
- Y.]
God, I'm sorry about what happened this weekend. I look at the time wasted and realized I couldn't do anything productive aside of whimper or be a jerk to my friends. I'll look at Kenshin's wounds today, Kenji, I hope he's still okay and that the Hospital people took care of him. He's doing better, right?
Kaoru... Is she really gone?
Huh.
I guess this is me jumping to the after curse apology bandwagon. I don't want to hear the typical "but that's a curse, so it's okay, it wasn't you" coddling response, because that was me on both occasions. The City regressed me in the past, but it didn't change me. I was that type of small and stupid girl who would do as she said to avoid conflict and pretend she's good to please others. When she found the real world and that the real world didn't like her, she crumbled easily because she wasn't a good person inside, she was callous and grew bitter.
If wasn't for this kind hanjuu who accidentally found her in the mountain road that made her begin to trust for the first time, because she didn't give a chance to befriend others, not really. If wasn't because she could face her own shortcomings to finally become me.
Now you get it? Why I said I couldn't be a good ruler back then? Because I knew the kind of weak person I could be.
Wasn't Confucius the one who said that "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"? Back then, I took the first step to become stronger and better for my own sake, that was before I gave it. So I'm ashamed that you had to meet me as that, because I thought I had left that starting point months ago. And I doubt I'll see the end of the journey from here, there's still a long to go. I guess that's it.
I'm sorry.
I don't expect to be forgiven so easily. Not everybody has Rakushun's saintly patience, but I'm willing to make amends. I, uhh, scared some of you badly yesterday.
...
Well, maybe I should begin with finding somebody to fix the door.
[Setsuna]
Was that you?
[Cain Hargreaves]
I apologize I've been so disconnected from the play business for so long that isn't funny. And we're out of time. So, uhh, do you know the date of the general rehearsal? Do you want to do a last rehearsal with me alone before the group one?
[Having recorded her confession, Youko took a deep breath and closed her device. She didn't have to keep this a secret. Who knew how many people she had pissed off by her careless actions? She wasn't ashamed to admit how wrong she was, she was ashamed of how wrong she was. Being both an idiot and a jerk to her friends made her stir her own guilt and inferiority complex anew. She wished Rakushun were around here. He always knew what to say, every time she could talk to him, she would feel much better. With his eyes staring at her, whiskers flickering and saying: "Youko..." before sharing a pearl of wisdom.
The sadness of losing him right now deepened because she realized how much she needed him in these moments. If only to hear his voice, she thought, moving out the building to walk on the square. She carried with her the sword and the sapphire, having the intention to drop by the Hospital later and see how is Kenshin's doing. She wanted to give her friends space and give herself a break to know how to make up for everything she did and said.
She stopped near the fountain to unsheathe her sword. The ethereal dripping began and the blade began to glow blue before she dipped its tip on the water fall. Show me En. Show me Rakushun, she ordered. The image that cleared on the water surface wasn't En, it was Kou. A slideshow of how Rakushun rescued her from certain death and how she turned her back on him when she believed he was struck down by the youma.
This is what is in my heart? she wondered, lowering her gaze. Guilt. She wasn't feeling so guilty for what she did yesterday, she realized, but the reminder of what her hurtful actions had done to Rakushun and how she could never really make up for it to him.]
(ooc; Links OOC).
[Left on the nightstand of each room: Rin's, Shouryuu's and the Kirins'. Rokuta's chocolates have a peach filling and Keiki's have a lemon one. With a note:
Thanks for putting up with me. I'm sorry.
- Y.]
God, I'm sorry about what happened this weekend. I look at the time wasted and realized I couldn't do anything productive aside of whimper or be a jerk to my friends. I'll look at Kenshin's wounds today, Kenji, I hope he's still okay and that the Hospital people took care of him. He's doing better, right?
Kaoru... Is she really gone?
Huh.
I guess this is me jumping to the after curse apology bandwagon. I don't want to hear the typical "but that's a curse, so it's okay, it wasn't you" coddling response, because that was me on both occasions. The City regressed me in the past, but it didn't change me. I was that type of small and stupid girl who would do as she said to avoid conflict and pretend she's good to please others. When she found the real world and that the real world didn't like her, she crumbled easily because she wasn't a good person inside, she was callous and grew bitter.
If wasn't for this kind hanjuu who accidentally found her in the mountain road that made her begin to trust for the first time, because she didn't give a chance to befriend others, not really. If wasn't because she could face her own shortcomings to finally become me.
Now you get it? Why I said I couldn't be a good ruler back then? Because I knew the kind of weak person I could be.
Wasn't Confucius the one who said that "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"? Back then, I took the first step to become stronger and better for my own sake, that was before I gave it. So I'm ashamed that you had to meet me as that, because I thought I had left that starting point months ago. And I doubt I'll see the end of the journey from here, there's still a long to go. I guess that's it.
I'm sorry.
I don't expect to be forgiven so easily. Not everybody has Rakushun's saintly patience, but I'm willing to make amends. I, uhh, scared some of you badly yesterday.
...
Well, maybe I should begin with finding somebody to fix the door.
[Setsuna]
Was that you?
[Cain Hargreaves]
I apologize I've been so disconnected from the play business for so long that isn't funny. And we're out of time. So, uhh, do you know the date of the general rehearsal? Do you want to do a last rehearsal with me alone before the group one?
[Having recorded her confession, Youko took a deep breath and closed her device. She didn't have to keep this a secret. Who knew how many people she had pissed off by her careless actions? She wasn't ashamed to admit how wrong she was, she was ashamed of how wrong she was. Being both an idiot and a jerk to her friends made her stir her own guilt and inferiority complex anew. She wished Rakushun were around here. He always knew what to say, every time she could talk to him, she would feel much better. With his eyes staring at her, whiskers flickering and saying: "Youko..." before sharing a pearl of wisdom.
The sadness of losing him right now deepened because she realized how much she needed him in these moments. If only to hear his voice, she thought, moving out the building to walk on the square. She carried with her the sword and the sapphire, having the intention to drop by the Hospital later and see how is Kenshin's doing. She wanted to give her friends space and give herself a break to know how to make up for everything she did and said.
She stopped near the fountain to unsheathe her sword. The ethereal dripping began and the blade began to glow blue before she dipped its tip on the water fall. Show me En. Show me Rakushun, she ordered. The image that cleared on the water surface wasn't En, it was Kou. A slideshow of how Rakushun rescued her from certain death and how she turned her back on him when she believed he was struck down by the youma.
This is what is in my heart? she wondered, lowering her gaze. Guilt. She wasn't feeling so guilty for what she did yesterday, she realized, but the reminder of what her hurtful actions had done to Rakushun and how she could never really make up for it to him.]
(ooc; Links OOC).