bubbling with stories
suffering a drought of words

he clasps my hand
and proclaims
me
his best friend.
I'm ashamed
in the midst of such trust
(and devotion)
that I'd rather be a conquest.
dedication be damned,
if it's platonic.

Working
and Him.

Him
and the rest of my life-
coursing together into a
rhythm,
( Read more... )

there are times, my make-believe mother ( Read more... )

I smell like him.
saturated in his scent.
He curled himself around me and whispered, "happy birthday"

my whole body shakes.

"your friendship," he starts
going on as though i swept in and rescued him from his demons.
"The bad place", he calls it, as we lay tangled in each other's limbs,
and i struggle to accept anything negative about the man i am ( Read more... )

my future, looking bbbbriiiIGHTER (and brighter!)
-although Not as I hoped it would be-
and the world- 
                              still revolved
and the sun still rose, and fell, and rose again
and the pianist plays on.

hours/jobs/entire Days spent Shelving (and ReShelving)
stocking(and ReStocking)     Patrolling
and RePlacing dollar signs with sales

( Read more... )

Come see me. i like you better than everything in the sky

my wit and wild hair both grow stale after only a few minutes.

but
        i should rather than anything
        have(almost when hugeness will shut
        quietly)almost,
                       your kiss

you
are
these quiet solitary days
that should feel lonely,
but
dont

The oaky clean smell of you, 
slightly singed with ciggerettes and coffee
 and your cliches
like the twinkle of quiet mischief in your 
gray/blue/into green/into blue/ eyes
 that always remind me of places I have never been

shy, mumbled absurdity

Though I am 
Oh
So
younger then you,
and 
( Read more... )

Will it take the total destruction of who I am now, for me to rise from the ashes? (possibly ( Read more... )

My force is faint and thready somedays and vibrant and red and Ssssstrong others. I am a consistant inconsistancy and it's probably for the best ( Read more... )

The truth is, no matter what I sacrificed, my; time, education, money, energy, stability,childhood, it never felt  like enough. I was  convinced that if I could find the right combination,  I could save her from suffocating in the folds of her delirium.  The first time I came home from school to find her covered in blood next to a sloppily ( Read more... )