Aieee. Aieeeeeee.
No, egg yolk and butterfat and lemon juice do not smell good after they've been hanging around in your sink for 72 hours; still, on the whole, I preferred them to what's hanging around in the sink now, which is, as far as I can tell, raw sewage. It is black. It is opaque. It contains things that no one should have to look at, or smell, least of all in her kitchen.
Oh dear God WHY?
Dammit, I just want to live quietly and write the things I need to write and act the things I need to act, and make some music when I can; and I just cannot take much more of this UNENDING BARRAGE OF THINGS BREAKING WHEN I CANNOT FIX THEM OR AFFORD TO REPLACE THEM OR EVEN DRIVE MY GODDAMNED CAR TO SOMEONE WHO CAN FIX THEM. Small things, things like dropping my keys or having to run home for something I forgot, are beginning to drive me to tears. God. I'm going to break soon myself.
And yes, I know it's insignificant, compared to, say, not having enough to eat, or being unable to afford the only medication that will treat your disease. Yeah. They are completely petty, the things that occupy my hours and stir up my rage. That makes me feel worse.
Oh dear God WHY?
Dammit, I just want to live quietly and write the things I need to write and act the things I need to act, and make some music when I can; and I just cannot take much more of this UNENDING BARRAGE OF THINGS BREAKING WHEN I CANNOT FIX THEM OR AFFORD TO REPLACE THEM OR EVEN DRIVE MY GODDAMNED CAR TO SOMEONE WHO CAN FIX THEM. Small things, things like dropping my keys or having to run home for something I forgot, are beginning to drive me to tears. God. I'm going to break soon myself.
And yes, I know it's insignificant, compared to, say, not having enough to eat, or being unable to afford the only medication that will treat your disease. Yeah. They are completely petty, the things that occupy my hours and stir up my rage. That makes me feel worse.