Haru Haru
Title: Haru Haru
Theme: #20 Glow
Pairings: Donghae/Kibum
Disclaimer: I don't own the boys...
AN: *breathes sigh of relief* To be completely honest... In all my years of writing fanfics, this is the first time I've actually finished one completely @@ I'm not really sure what prompt me to write a song fic, but I guess I'm quite satisfied with it... (Mainly cos it's finished =X) Though it's a little long, I hope you'll enjoy it =3 Comments are LOVED~~ ^^
~~~~~~~~~~
“Leave...”
Yeah
Finally I realized
That I'm nothing without you
I was so wrong
Forgive me
Donghae remained silent... Kibum still had his back facing him, refusing to look at Donghae. Tears just kept falling from his cheeks... Donghae felt hurt, but he didn’t know that Kibum was crying too. Donghae turned and left... After he left, only then Kibum looked back and broke down...
My broken heart like a wave
My shaken heart like a wind My heart vanished like smoke
It can’t be removed like a tattoo
I sigh deeply as if the ground is going to cave in
Only dusts are piled up in my mind (say goodbye)
Donghae didn’t know why Kibum decided to leave him. They were just a loving couple that morning. Until Kibum took him to the church where they first met, and told Donghae that he didn’t love him anymore. That his feelings had changed. He wanted Donghae to leave...
It was raining when he stepped out of the church, leaving Kibum inside. He didn’t bother to take shelter. He just felt like staying out in the rain as he looked up at the night sky. The clouds already hid the stars and moon away. He couldn’t see a slightest glow in the dark night sky. It felt empty... Just like his heart... He shouted...
Yeah, I thought I wouldn’t be able to live even one day without you
But somehow I managed to live on (longer) than I thought
You don’t answer anything as I cry out “I miss you”
I hope for a vain expectation but now it’s useless
It was bright early in the morning. It didn’t make Donghae feel any better as he took a stroll on the streets after a few days of locking himself in. Only a week has passed, but it felt like forever... Anywhere and everywhere, it just reminded him of the times and dates he had with Kibum. He cursed under his breath for living in such a small town.
He flipped his phone open as he sat down on a park bench. He anticipated at least a missed call or even a text message, but nothing came. After a whole week, Kibum never bothered to even contact him at all. Had all those 3 years being together mean nothing to Kibum? Was it really THAT easy to change? Kibum had said that his feelings will never change... What happened to that promise? Donghae didn’t understand. He didn’t understand any of it at all! He threw his cell phone onto the ground and stood up, breathing heavily.
He didn’t care if Kibum doesn’t want to see him. He wanted to see him. He needed an explanation. He was not about to let Kibum just end it like that. Donghae mustered all his courage and walked up towards Kibum’s front door. His knuckles hesitated to knock on the door. He could hear laughter. Donghae looked to his left. He saw an open window that had a clear view of the living room. Donghae’s body moved on it’s own towards the open window and hid himself near a bush as he peeked inside.
What is it about that person next to you, did he make you cry?
Dear can you even see me, did you forget completely?
I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can’t get close nor try to talk to you
I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times
“My, Kibum-sshi has grown into a fine man I see.” A middle aged lady laughed beside another lady of roughly the same age, whom Donghae recognized as Kibum’s mother.
Donghae glanced around the room till his eyes landed on his ex-boyfriend and a girl sitting beside him on the couch. She was slim and tall, Donghae couldn’t deny that she was a natural beauty. He had never seen her before though. So, is she the reason why Kibum broke up with him?
Kibum just smiled at the woman’s comment and remained silently seated with his partner.
“Yoona-sshi has grown into a beautiful lady as well, Mrs. Im.” Kibum’s mother laughed alongside the woman. Donghae figured that the woman must be the girl’s mother. They were happily discussing some family matters, but Donghae couldn’t hear them. His eyes were fixed on the couple sitting on the couch, examining their expressions and movement, but there was nothing...
“Kibum’s father will be very happy about this if he was still with us...” Kibum’s mother’s said suddenly as her expression became a little saddened. Kibum just looked at the ground. Then there was silence...
“I’m sure that he would be very happy to know that his wish has come true.” Kibum looked up and grabbed the girl’s hand and intertwined their fingers while his other hand rested on his lap. Kibum gave his most sincere smile and gave an assuring look towards his mother.
Then, he felt a pang on his chest. Donghae remained in his hiding place and was frozen. It was as if he’d lost himself and just stood there, dazed. Then, the only thing that came to his mind was to get out of this place, as fast as he could... He took a few steps back... Slowly... Still looking lost... Then he tripped...
He landed on his behind with a loud thump and his composure came back. He had to get out of here. But the people in the living room had heard the noise and all looked at the direction outside the window. Then the two pairs of eyes met. His eyes filled with sorrow and regret, and then looked away. Donghae tried to fight back the tears as Kibum turned his gaze away from him. He scrambled to pick himself up, and then he was out of sight...
Don’t look back and leave
Don’t find me again and live (on)
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day (eh eh eh eh)
Oh girl I cry, cry
You’re my all, say goodbye…
Donghae has never seen Kibum since... Summer ended and he was back in school, but Kibum was nowhere to be seen.
“Hae-ah! What’s wrong? You looked like you’ve just been hit by an alien spaceship.” Eunhyuk, his best friend, put an arm around his shoulder and smiled.
Donghae wasn’t in the mood for jokes. Part of him hoped that he would bump into Kibum again, to listen to what he had to say. Another part of him just didn’t want to know. He seemed so lost and destroyed. Eunhyuk noticed this and roughly figured that something must have happened between him and Kibum. He avoided the topic and never mentioned Kibum’s name in front of Donghae since.
If we pass by each other on the street
Act like you didn’t see me and go the way you were walking to
If you keep thinking about our past memories
I might go look for you secretly
“Kibum-sshi?” Yoona asked in concern as the two walked out of the principal’s office. “Are you okay?”
Kibum, who was watching as Donghae walked down the hallway with Eunhyuk right next to him, a hand over his ex-lover’s shoulder, turned and looked away. “Yeah... I’m fine...” That wasn’t the truth... He felt the rage building up inside him..
Always be happy with him, (so) I won’t ever get a different mind
Even smallest regret won’t be left out ever
Please live well as if I should feel jealous
A few months have passed and Kibum never showed up at school. There was news that he had transferred and rumours that he has moved out of the country... Donghae gradually got used to the days without Kibum around. But it never changed the fact the he was still deeply in love with the other. He never sees anyone else and turned down every single offer that came his way. No matter how much better his pursuers were from Kibum, he just couldn’t bring himself to be with anyone else.
Still, he stopped moping around and he knew that even without Kibum, life still has to go on. He slowly regained that bubbly and cheerful side of his. He buried his feelings into the deepest core of his heart. He always showed a smile and shrugged the matter off whenever someone asks him about his past. He just smiled...
You should always be like that bright sky, like that white cloud
Yes, you should always smile like that as if nothing happened
It wasn’t long after Donghae had resumed his daily routine, he received and white scented envelop through the mail. He knew that his heart was already broken, but he never knew that it could break further more. As he read the wedding invitation, his tears dwell up once more; threaten to fall from his cheeks.
I hope your heart feels relieved
Please forget about me and live (on)
Those tears will dry completely
“That bastard... He has the nerve...” Eunhyuk cursed as he read the invitation. He had gotten one as well. “After all he did, he expects to us to attend something like this? Forget about it, let’s go hang out at the club!”
Sungmin, who was also a part of their gang, shook his head disapprovingly at the invitation as well, while Ryeowook let out a sigh.
“No...”
His friends turned to look at him
“I’ll go. This might just be the push I need to let go of him completely...” Donghae faked a smile...
His friends exchanged glances, and nodded in agreement. “Then let’s all go together!” Sungmin cried out.
As time passes by
It would’ve hurt less if we didn’t meet at all
Hope you will bury our promise of being together forever baby
I pray for you
The church was filled with people. There were more people he didn’t recognize compared to the people he did. With all the noise and the fancy dressings, he suddenly felt that he shouldn’t be here at all. But his thoughts were cut off when everyone silenced and turned their attention to the entrance. There stood the handsome groom and the beautiful bride, smiling at their guests. Donghae felt a pang on his chest as he watched the couple walk down the aisle hand in hand. Hurting with every step they take, until they reached the altar.
The priest blessed the couple and they exchanged vows. Donghae could no longer watch any further. He left the scene quietly. He went to the garden behind the church and felt the warm sun above his head. The wedding bells chimed loudly as he heard the cheers of people, signifying the end of the wedding administration. He sat down on a bench and closed his eyes...
It‘s over...
Don’t look back and leave
Don’t find me again and live (on)
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day (eh eh eh eh)
“Donghae!”
His eyes snapped open. That voice... He stood up and turned to face the owner of the voice. He stared in disbelief and Kibum slowly approached him.
“Thank you for coming today...” Kibum smiled.
“Oh... Sure...” Donghae felt a little disappointed as he averted Kibum’s gaze.
“I’m really happy...” Kibum continued.
“Yea... You deserve this...” Donghae tried his best to fake a smile, but failing miserably as a tear trickled down his cheek.
Kibum’s gaze softened as he approached Donghae some more. Then Donghae stood there, frozen to his spot as Kibum leaned in and kissed the side of his right eye when the tear has escaped. “You’re wrong. I’m happy that you came.”
Donghae looked up at Kibum, dumbfounded. Kibum took out an envelope from his coat and handed it to Donghae. “Whatever you choose in the end, I will respect your decision, but I just want you to know that when I said my feelings for you will never change, they never did... And they never will... I’ll see you around.” Kibum smiled and turned to leave.
Oh girl I cry, cry
You’re my all, say goodbye, bye
Oh my love don’t lie, lie
You’re my heart, say goodbye
Dear Hae:
I hope that this is not too late. That your feelings have not yet changed. That you are willing to hear me out... I’m really sorry... For having to do this to you... For having to keep you in the dark... For having to push you away when all I wanted to do was just to hold onto you for the rest of my life...
It was my father’s death wish... It just happened so fast... I couldn’t refuse. I couldn’t explain it to you. I didn’t know how to, so I chose to let you go... But it seems that I was a fool to think that I could actually forget you and stop loving you. I hate seeing you with Eunhyuk together like that. I wanted to punch every single person who tried to pursue you. The fact that you are no longer mine is killing me inside.
So, I talked to her... I told her that there was someone else in my heart... That I did not wish for this from the start. You don’t know how happy I was when I heard that she felt the same. She too, had someone else, but had no choice but to obey her parents. It was for the sake of business and our companies. So, we decided to play along with this wedding. Our families will be migrating to America very soon. But it won’t be long until I come back for you. We have already planned the divorce and after our companies have settled down, I promise that I will come back for you. I hope that until that day, there will still be a place for me in your heart. I hope that you will wait for me.
I love you Donghae... I always have... and I always will...
Love,
Kibum
“You idiot...” and the teardrops wet the paper...
Epilogue:
3 years had come and gone. Donghae waited in front of the gate where the passengers of the flight from America came through one by one. Donghae jumped up and down and tried to push through the crowd to get a better look, but his efforts were in vain. He sighed and decided to wait till the crowd disperses a little more.
“Waiting for someone?” A voice whispered at his ear and a hand snaked around his waist. Donghae shivered in surprise and turned to look at the guy behind him. Even with the sunglasses, he could recognize that face anywhere.
The other took off the sunglasses and put the other arm around Donghae to pull him closer. “I’m home.” He smiled charmingly.
Donghae giggled. “Kibummie... Welcome home.” His hands found its way around Kibum’s neck as the two closed the distance between their lips.
-END-
AN: Okay... So maybe I failed @@ Constructive critisms are welcomed... To help me improve T.T Thanks for reading and... Comments please~~ =DD With Kihae on top~~~
Theme: #20 Glow
Pairings: Donghae/Kibum
Disclaimer: I don't own the boys...
AN: *breathes sigh of relief* To be completely honest... In all my years of writing fanfics, this is the first time I've actually finished one completely @@ I'm not really sure what prompt me to write a song fic, but I guess I'm quite satisfied with it... (Mainly cos it's finished =X) Though it's a little long, I hope you'll enjoy it =3 Comments are LOVED~~ ^^
~~~~~~~~~~
“Leave...”
Yeah
Finally I realized
That I'm nothing without you
I was so wrong
Forgive me
Donghae remained silent... Kibum still had his back facing him, refusing to look at Donghae. Tears just kept falling from his cheeks... Donghae felt hurt, but he didn’t know that Kibum was crying too. Donghae turned and left... After he left, only then Kibum looked back and broke down...
My broken heart like a wave
My shaken heart like a wind My heart vanished like smoke
It can’t be removed like a tattoo
I sigh deeply as if the ground is going to cave in
Only dusts are piled up in my mind (say goodbye)
Donghae didn’t know why Kibum decided to leave him. They were just a loving couple that morning. Until Kibum took him to the church where they first met, and told Donghae that he didn’t love him anymore. That his feelings had changed. He wanted Donghae to leave...
It was raining when he stepped out of the church, leaving Kibum inside. He didn’t bother to take shelter. He just felt like staying out in the rain as he looked up at the night sky. The clouds already hid the stars and moon away. He couldn’t see a slightest glow in the dark night sky. It felt empty... Just like his heart... He shouted...
Yeah, I thought I wouldn’t be able to live even one day without you
But somehow I managed to live on (longer) than I thought
You don’t answer anything as I cry out “I miss you”
I hope for a vain expectation but now it’s useless
It was bright early in the morning. It didn’t make Donghae feel any better as he took a stroll on the streets after a few days of locking himself in. Only a week has passed, but it felt like forever... Anywhere and everywhere, it just reminded him of the times and dates he had with Kibum. He cursed under his breath for living in such a small town.
He flipped his phone open as he sat down on a park bench. He anticipated at least a missed call or even a text message, but nothing came. After a whole week, Kibum never bothered to even contact him at all. Had all those 3 years being together mean nothing to Kibum? Was it really THAT easy to change? Kibum had said that his feelings will never change... What happened to that promise? Donghae didn’t understand. He didn’t understand any of it at all! He threw his cell phone onto the ground and stood up, breathing heavily.
He didn’t care if Kibum doesn’t want to see him. He wanted to see him. He needed an explanation. He was not about to let Kibum just end it like that. Donghae mustered all his courage and walked up towards Kibum’s front door. His knuckles hesitated to knock on the door. He could hear laughter. Donghae looked to his left. He saw an open window that had a clear view of the living room. Donghae’s body moved on it’s own towards the open window and hid himself near a bush as he peeked inside.
What is it about that person next to you, did he make you cry?
Dear can you even see me, did you forget completely?
I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can’t get close nor try to talk to you
I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times
“My, Kibum-sshi has grown into a fine man I see.” A middle aged lady laughed beside another lady of roughly the same age, whom Donghae recognized as Kibum’s mother.
Donghae glanced around the room till his eyes landed on his ex-boyfriend and a girl sitting beside him on the couch. She was slim and tall, Donghae couldn’t deny that she was a natural beauty. He had never seen her before though. So, is she the reason why Kibum broke up with him?
Kibum just smiled at the woman’s comment and remained silently seated with his partner.
“Yoona-sshi has grown into a beautiful lady as well, Mrs. Im.” Kibum’s mother laughed alongside the woman. Donghae figured that the woman must be the girl’s mother. They were happily discussing some family matters, but Donghae couldn’t hear them. His eyes were fixed on the couple sitting on the couch, examining their expressions and movement, but there was nothing...
“Kibum’s father will be very happy about this if he was still with us...” Kibum’s mother’s said suddenly as her expression became a little saddened. Kibum just looked at the ground. Then there was silence...
“I’m sure that he would be very happy to know that his wish has come true.” Kibum looked up and grabbed the girl’s hand and intertwined their fingers while his other hand rested on his lap. Kibum gave his most sincere smile and gave an assuring look towards his mother.
Then, he felt a pang on his chest. Donghae remained in his hiding place and was frozen. It was as if he’d lost himself and just stood there, dazed. Then, the only thing that came to his mind was to get out of this place, as fast as he could... He took a few steps back... Slowly... Still looking lost... Then he tripped...
He landed on his behind with a loud thump and his composure came back. He had to get out of here. But the people in the living room had heard the noise and all looked at the direction outside the window. Then the two pairs of eyes met. His eyes filled with sorrow and regret, and then looked away. Donghae tried to fight back the tears as Kibum turned his gaze away from him. He scrambled to pick himself up, and then he was out of sight...
Don’t look back and leave
Don’t find me again and live (on)
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day (eh eh eh eh)
Oh girl I cry, cry
You’re my all, say goodbye…
Donghae has never seen Kibum since... Summer ended and he was back in school, but Kibum was nowhere to be seen.
“Hae-ah! What’s wrong? You looked like you’ve just been hit by an alien spaceship.” Eunhyuk, his best friend, put an arm around his shoulder and smiled.
Donghae wasn’t in the mood for jokes. Part of him hoped that he would bump into Kibum again, to listen to what he had to say. Another part of him just didn’t want to know. He seemed so lost and destroyed. Eunhyuk noticed this and roughly figured that something must have happened between him and Kibum. He avoided the topic and never mentioned Kibum’s name in front of Donghae since.
If we pass by each other on the street
Act like you didn’t see me and go the way you were walking to
If you keep thinking about our past memories
I might go look for you secretly
“Kibum-sshi?” Yoona asked in concern as the two walked out of the principal’s office. “Are you okay?”
Kibum, who was watching as Donghae walked down the hallway with Eunhyuk right next to him, a hand over his ex-lover’s shoulder, turned and looked away. “Yeah... I’m fine...” That wasn’t the truth... He felt the rage building up inside him..
Always be happy with him, (so) I won’t ever get a different mind
Even smallest regret won’t be left out ever
Please live well as if I should feel jealous
A few months have passed and Kibum never showed up at school. There was news that he had transferred and rumours that he has moved out of the country... Donghae gradually got used to the days without Kibum around. But it never changed the fact the he was still deeply in love with the other. He never sees anyone else and turned down every single offer that came his way. No matter how much better his pursuers were from Kibum, he just couldn’t bring himself to be with anyone else.
Still, he stopped moping around and he knew that even without Kibum, life still has to go on. He slowly regained that bubbly and cheerful side of his. He buried his feelings into the deepest core of his heart. He always showed a smile and shrugged the matter off whenever someone asks him about his past. He just smiled...
You should always be like that bright sky, like that white cloud
Yes, you should always smile like that as if nothing happened
It wasn’t long after Donghae had resumed his daily routine, he received and white scented envelop through the mail. He knew that his heart was already broken, but he never knew that it could break further more. As he read the wedding invitation, his tears dwell up once more; threaten to fall from his cheeks.
I hope your heart feels relieved
Please forget about me and live (on)
Those tears will dry completely
“That bastard... He has the nerve...” Eunhyuk cursed as he read the invitation. He had gotten one as well. “After all he did, he expects to us to attend something like this? Forget about it, let’s go hang out at the club!”
Sungmin, who was also a part of their gang, shook his head disapprovingly at the invitation as well, while Ryeowook let out a sigh.
“No...”
His friends turned to look at him
“I’ll go. This might just be the push I need to let go of him completely...” Donghae faked a smile...
His friends exchanged glances, and nodded in agreement. “Then let’s all go together!” Sungmin cried out.
As time passes by
It would’ve hurt less if we didn’t meet at all
Hope you will bury our promise of being together forever baby
I pray for you
The church was filled with people. There were more people he didn’t recognize compared to the people he did. With all the noise and the fancy dressings, he suddenly felt that he shouldn’t be here at all. But his thoughts were cut off when everyone silenced and turned their attention to the entrance. There stood the handsome groom and the beautiful bride, smiling at their guests. Donghae felt a pang on his chest as he watched the couple walk down the aisle hand in hand. Hurting with every step they take, until they reached the altar.
The priest blessed the couple and they exchanged vows. Donghae could no longer watch any further. He left the scene quietly. He went to the garden behind the church and felt the warm sun above his head. The wedding bells chimed loudly as he heard the cheers of people, signifying the end of the wedding administration. He sat down on a bench and closed his eyes...
It‘s over...
Don’t look back and leave
Don’t find me again and live (on)
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day (eh eh eh eh)
“Donghae!”
His eyes snapped open. That voice... He stood up and turned to face the owner of the voice. He stared in disbelief and Kibum slowly approached him.
“Thank you for coming today...” Kibum smiled.
“Oh... Sure...” Donghae felt a little disappointed as he averted Kibum’s gaze.
“I’m really happy...” Kibum continued.
“Yea... You deserve this...” Donghae tried his best to fake a smile, but failing miserably as a tear trickled down his cheek.
Kibum’s gaze softened as he approached Donghae some more. Then Donghae stood there, frozen to his spot as Kibum leaned in and kissed the side of his right eye when the tear has escaped. “You’re wrong. I’m happy that you came.”
Donghae looked up at Kibum, dumbfounded. Kibum took out an envelope from his coat and handed it to Donghae. “Whatever you choose in the end, I will respect your decision, but I just want you to know that when I said my feelings for you will never change, they never did... And they never will... I’ll see you around.” Kibum smiled and turned to leave.
Oh girl I cry, cry
You’re my all, say goodbye, bye
Oh my love don’t lie, lie
You’re my heart, say goodbye
Dear Hae:
I hope that this is not too late. That your feelings have not yet changed. That you are willing to hear me out... I’m really sorry... For having to do this to you... For having to keep you in the dark... For having to push you away when all I wanted to do was just to hold onto you for the rest of my life...
It was my father’s death wish... It just happened so fast... I couldn’t refuse. I couldn’t explain it to you. I didn’t know how to, so I chose to let you go... But it seems that I was a fool to think that I could actually forget you and stop loving you. I hate seeing you with Eunhyuk together like that. I wanted to punch every single person who tried to pursue you. The fact that you are no longer mine is killing me inside.
So, I talked to her... I told her that there was someone else in my heart... That I did not wish for this from the start. You don’t know how happy I was when I heard that she felt the same. She too, had someone else, but had no choice but to obey her parents. It was for the sake of business and our companies. So, we decided to play along with this wedding. Our families will be migrating to America very soon. But it won’t be long until I come back for you. We have already planned the divorce and after our companies have settled down, I promise that I will come back for you. I hope that until that day, there will still be a place for me in your heart. I hope that you will wait for me.
I love you Donghae... I always have... and I always will...
Love,
Kibum
“You idiot...” and the teardrops wet the paper...
Epilogue:
3 years had come and gone. Donghae waited in front of the gate where the passengers of the flight from America came through one by one. Donghae jumped up and down and tried to push through the crowd to get a better look, but his efforts were in vain. He sighed and decided to wait till the crowd disperses a little more.
“Waiting for someone?” A voice whispered at his ear and a hand snaked around his waist. Donghae shivered in surprise and turned to look at the guy behind him. Even with the sunglasses, he could recognize that face anywhere.
The other took off the sunglasses and put the other arm around Donghae to pull him closer. “I’m home.” He smiled charmingly.
Donghae giggled. “Kibummie... Welcome home.” His hands found its way around Kibum’s neck as the two closed the distance between their lips.
-END-
AN: Okay... So maybe I failed @@ Constructive critisms are welcomed... To help me improve T.T Thanks for reading and... Comments please~~ =DD With Kihae on top~~~