Remembering stuff

[reirrac]

Note: I noticed part way through that this is more of a ramble than anything else. You have been warned

Comments

[gailadora]

Man, this is sooo familiar. I know it's tough right now. And it's not like numbing out is going to stop completely. It's the way your body keeps you safe. But slowly, hopefully you are going to start working through what has happened and what is going on. The first year was the toughest for me, mostly because it was a numbing blur. I remember coming back to school after my mother had died over spring break, and people asking how my spring break was. My response, "Oh not so good, my mom died." It was like I was giving a weather report, yep it's raining outside. But then I would start to lose my numbness, to not such happy emotions. It's not a fun place to go, but it's a healthy one. The shower became my best friend (still is, that's my place to go to lose it). I felt comfortable to go there because I couldn't lose it in front of my dad (he was so sensitive about it), so I would scream, cry and let it out in there. Try and find a place where you can feel comfortable and it'll start to come out when you are ready. But don't

[reirrac]

thank you, I appreciate your thoughts

[wondervixen]

Your edit paragraph hit the nail on the head, I think. The holidays are going to be so hard, but it's an important time to let yourself remember and work through some of those feelings. If you try to ignore it, it will just keep carrying over. But you're right, when it gets to be too much, go back to the aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.