children

Feb 09, 2007 11:44

awesome! )

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Comments 36

willowspillow February 9 2007, 14:55:22 UTC
While I have no objection to single people adopting children (after all, they've already been born; someone's gotta look after them), I have more reservations about deliberately getting knocked up without a man to raise the kid with. It seems pretty selfish and "I wants, so I gets" to me, because the kid's going to grow up knowing that he/she has a father out there and want to know who he was. Same goes for gay couples having kids -- the kid knows that he/she's got a biological parent out there somewhere.

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reisende February 9 2007, 15:34:39 UTC
hm, not necessarily getting oneself knocked up and then raising a kid alone. could be a donor sperm - entirely anonymous. as for the missing biological father - sometimes it's never an issue, is it? it isn't always. but yes, of course I have my reservations on deliberate single mothers. I have asked many about this and most would say that it is very selfish and I don't deny it. but it isn't so simple either, wanting a child and then simply getting one. the world is more conservative than we think, and family objections could be enough to deter a woman from trying. but what if it ties in with her entire life philosophy? what if she has tried looking for men - or not looking but had fallen deeply in love before, but lost it? what if, she has a well-paying career to financially support the child, and that she is mature enough to know that she is ready to raise a child, but there is just no darn mr husband ( ... )

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willowspillow February 10 2007, 03:09:46 UTC
I think that we're approaching this from different philosophical POVs. You say:

what if it ties in with her entire life philosophy? what if she has tried looking for men - or not looking but had fallen deeply in love before, but lost it? what if, she has a well-paying career to financially support the child, and that she is mature enough to know that she is ready to raise a child, but there is just no darn mr husband?Your view is that if someone's position in life ticks all the right boxes (salary, maturity, etc.) that person (or couple) deserves to have a baby if they want it hard enough ( ... )

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reisende February 11 2007, 15:52:11 UTC
you're very right! in response to this comment and the one below, I can only say that the world shall have to wait with bated breath on the outcome of this. there is no denying that there will be more women who choose to have children without fathers.

also, I agree with you that every child should have the right to know his/her biological parents and I can see the need for it... but the 'forcing nature' bit, hm, I have some issues with that (does IVF count as non-biological? strictly speaking, it is). can I also infer that you don't think gay couples should have their own biological children either? just curious.

your friends who are adopted: are they angsty that their biological parents are somewhere out there? again, another question asked out of curiosity.

well, I'll be sure to speak to you again if ever the time comes when I want to have a child - but with no partner.

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kevlars February 11 2007, 15:14:12 UTC
talk about a paradigm shift - thanks for posting this.

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reisende February 11 2007, 15:55:17 UTC
:) it is actually a thought I've had for some time now, but never articulated it. imagine my surprise when I came across this article!

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kevlars February 11 2007, 16:00:12 UTC
Haha. There's this sci-fi novel "The Gate to Women's Country" that K was reading for her Lit classes - I think you could check it out.

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reisende February 12 2007, 16:16:38 UTC
thanks! I most definitely will.

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