Comments | reishicolleen: drabble #2

reishicolleen

drabble #2

Nov 24, 2009 11:11

Title: With you

Author: Reishi

Rating: T

Pairing: Hibari Kyouya and Gokudera Hayato, 1859

Warning: Grammar mistakes, OOC?

Disclaimer: Amano-sensei owns all.

( more nothing! )

fanfic, fanfic: 1859, character: hibari kyouya

Comments 11

xcerpted November 24 2009, 04:34:19 UTC

You kept switching from present tense to past tense which was rather distracting. In the latter part of the fic, you got lazy with capitalizing some of the first letters of your sentences too, and some space between paragraphs would make the piece easier to read.

Up until Hibari arrived, I couldn't be sure if it was him or Gokudera talking/dying either. Maybe a little more mention of the Tenth than "the only person he respected with all his life" flashing across his mind?

But there are so few HibaGoku fics out there, I gotta say thank you and please write some more!

OT: hey, did you manage to go to M3? There were...six Gokuderas on day 1 and I asked four of them if they were you, lol.

reishicolleen November 24 2009, 04:54:20 UTC

ahaha, sorry, the fic was rushed...xDD

m3? i was there on sunday, hahaha!! i know one of those six gokuderas on day one, xDD

as for my goku, T_T, i failed, haha, since i wasn't able to borrow a wig, i ended with powder on my hair, agh! hopefully by herocon i would be able to do it properly, xDD. waaiii...

on day two, uhh...there wasn't much gokudera, i think saw...2 other aside from me, xDD

xcerpted November 24 2009, 05:02:07 UTC

You did? Wow. I only saw you, lol! I'm the marshall in the brown trenchcoat--err, I guess your Mukuro or Hibari would remember me better, since they catwalked. Too bad they got knocked off the tourney on the first round, btw. Anyway, good luck for HERO then, and you're writing.o/

reishicolleen November 24 2009, 05:05:43 UTC

my writing...*cries* hahaha, xDD

hahaha, so you were able to see how much of a fail i am, haha
costume was ultimately rushed, T_T, are you going to be a marshall again on hero? xDD

Thread 6

reishicolleen November 24 2009, 04:58:57 UTC

oh yeah, were you able to snag pics?
me want see!!! XDD

xcerpted November 24 2009, 05:03:52 UTC

Nope, sorry. I was too busy screaming my lungs out at the cosplay area, and smoking during my breaks.^^;;

reishicolleen November 24 2009, 05:08:53 UTC

oh, that's okay, xDD waii...hope to see you hero too! i'll take a picture if you will be goku! xDD

darkestnight12 November 26 2009, 21:46:05 UTC

Aww~! Not bad! I like the end where Hibari really bites Gokudera who, despite his protests, quite enjoys it. *laughs*

SO GLAD that Gokudera didn't die. That would have been EVIL. But Hibari made it! And saved him~! *skips and sings a song*

Translation ext_865893 November 4 2011, 16:45:22 UTC

Er... Hello. ^^"
I hope, you wouldn't be angry, if I take your text and translate it... Er...
I will leave URL for your page, don't wory... ^^'

*tries to run away as fast as can do*