The Tower, the Prince and the Lettuce - Part 2
Title: The Tower, the Prince and the Lettuce
Part: Two
Author reitassugarlump
Beta: hinoeuma13
Pairing Ruki & Reita
Rating: g
Genre humor, fairy tale
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Inspired by and loosely based on “Rapunzel” by the Brothers Grimm. I don’t own, nor know any of the men and solely write for the fun of it.
Notes: This is the first one shot of a series I have in mind, which will give some of Grimm’s Fairy tales a new twist. However whether or not I will write any more sequels will depend on your feedback on this story.
Synopsis: When dashing Prince Uruha sets out to find a bride to take home to his kingdom, he gets more than he bargained for. He gets lost in a dense forest, comes upon a tower, hears the most beautiful voice and is determined to get the girl. But before he even starts to scale the wall there is his faithful valet, the enchantress and the hair to deal with…
Reita almost fell backwards out of the window.
The voice, though pleasant and curious, unmistakably belonged to a man.
“I … um… are you the … only one living here?”
“Yep.”
“huh… ahm…”
The man standing in the dark waited patiently.
“I was… erm... up… but you…”
“How about you let go of my hair for starters...” the voice suggested, when Reita still held on to the blonde braid as if it were a lifeline.
“Huh? Oh… sorry.”
“What’s your name?” The voice asked amused.
Reita squinted to try and make out the figure in the shadows, but had little success. “Reita.”
“Then Reita, let me ask again: What are you doing in my tower?”
The valet eventually managed to gather his composure and display self-confidence. Whatever he had expected to find up in this tower, this wasn’t it. Reita stood on the window sill, leaning casually in the frame.
“Well originally I was going to ask whether you would like to be introduced to Prince Charming down there, but I see how this is inappropriate with you being, well, male.”
At this point the man finally stepped out from the shadows and looked mildly interested past Reita, down into the meadow, where Prince Uruha was still pacing to and fro.
The blonde valet was taken aback. The man in the tower was breathtakingly handsome. Not like his dashing Prince, more like the huntsman sent out to kill Snow White. Clad completely in well-worn leather, high boots and a short dark jacket he looked nothing like someone you expected to find locked up in an abandoned tower. And then there was the hair, of course.
“You should be careful…” he said presently. “If she finds you, she will turn you into squirrels. She doesn’t like people finding this place.” The man said, leaving Reita’s statement uncommented.
“Come to think of it… Why do you live in a tower?”
“It’s not by choice. She keeps me locked up. God knows why!”
“Probably as a boy toy, considering you are quite good looking.” Reita mumbled.
“Pardon?”
“Nothing… Ah well, I should get going. Since you are not a potential bride… we might as well get out of this darn forest. Do you mind if I use your hair again?”
“REITAAAH!” came a shout from below. “WHAT IS GOING ON? HAVE YOU COMMENDED MY QUALITIES TO THE LADY?”
The blonde rolled his eyes. “MY LORD…” he gave the man beside him a side long glance before deciding on a strategy on how to deal with this. “THE LADY’S CHARACTER IS LACKING. Literally. WE SHOULD CONTINUE OUR SEARCH FOR A SUITABLE BRIDE ELSEWHERE.”
“ARE YOU QUITE SURE?”
“POSITIVE, MY LORD. SHE IS LACKING … THE erm… PARTS?” Reita hesitated, giving the man an apologetic smile. The man raised an eyebrow.
“I MIGHT… YOU KNOW, BE ABLE TO IGNORE THAT IF SHE WERE TO BE … OTHERWISE ACCOMPLISHED?” Prince Uruha called up to them.
“Christ, why could you not ignore that for any of the other twelve Ladies?” Reita cursed. “But now that you can’t have it… uho! Just wait! MY LORD, REALLY. THE LADY IS QUITE OUT OF THE QUESTION… TO BE HONEST A NICE SINGING VOICE MAY BE HER ONLY ADMIRABLE QUALITY.”
“How do you know? I have several admirable qualities!” The man crossed his arms before his chest.
“Do you want to get rid of him or don’t you?”
“Why not tell him I am the wrong gender?”
“Are you kidding? I have been dragging the guy half way across the country trying to find him a bride. If I told him he fell head over heels for a man singing, he’ll end up an old bachelor. Too embarrassed to go to any matchmaking meeting ever again!”
“I see…”
“REITA, ARE YOU NOT JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE YOU WANT ME TO MARRY A NOBLE WOMAN?”
“OF COURSE NOT, MY LORD. I AM SAYING THAT FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. I KNOW YOU HAVE CERTAIN EXPECTATIONS OF A WOMAN’S …CHARACTER. AND I AM TELLING YOU: YOU WOULD NOT BE HAPPY WITH HER.”
“YEAH! TELL THE ARROGANT AND VAIN FOP THAT I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM!” The man had stepped up beside Reita and shouted down to Prince Uruha.
Reita closed his eyes in frustration. “Now, what did we do that for?” he asked in a voice he normally only used to talk to the prince.
“I told him to get lost…”
“No. You just pricked his pride. The one thing I cannot argue against.”
“Well… we will find a way to get rid of him, won’t we?” There was a slight tremor in the man’s voice at the prospect of having to deal with a suitor with burning ambition.
“What’s this ‘we’? You spurred him on, you deal with it!” Nonchalantly Reita picked up the long tresses. He smiled mirthlessly at the man. “What’s your name?”
“Ra...erm ... Ruki.”
“Well Ruki...” he stepped over to the window, arms full of hair, “good luck.” He threw the ponytail out of the window.
“AH VERY WELL. I AM COMING UP! FEAR NOT MY LADY, MY HEART BEATS FAST WITH ARDENT ...”
“PASSION, MY LORD!” Reita supplied.
“PASSION!”
“Nononono! I don’t want him in my tower...”
“You should be more afraid of his beating heart... always gives me the creeps when he’s got the hots for someone.” He chuckled.
Ruki who had one foot against the wall to support the weight of Prince Uruha climbing up his hair, peeked down at the ascending blonde.
“He’s not my type... why do I have to endure this? Aren’t you worried?” he looked at Reita, “if he really falls for me, you’ll have a hard time explaining that to the king.”
“Why would he fall for you?”
“Why not?”
“Because you are a man? And if you don’t mind me saying... your manners leave a lot to be desired.”
“Tsk. Like you know me. I bet I could make him fall for me. If I wanted to. Are you going to risk it?”
Reita hesitated. Ruki did look hot. If he had any talent in the seduction department, he might just succeed. And how he was going to explain THAT to the king, or the fact that he will not produce an heir... Reita shuddered.
“Okay, how about a deal?” Ruki offered.
“Hm? What kind of deal are we talking about here.”
“Help me get rid of the old witch and I’ll straighten him out for you. By the end of this he will be quite happy to marry anyone you deem appropriate.”
“Do you know... I had everything under control until you pricked his pride. Makes me wonder whether you did that on purpose...?”
“He’s almost at the top... do you want to continue accusing me or do you want my help?”
The valet bit his lip. “Okay, fine. What’s this witch business, then?”
“Oh so you are going to help me?”
“Not me, per se. I’ll get Price Overconfidence to slay the dragon. He might as well work for his pay...”
The valet looked out the window down to where Price Uruha was hanging a few feet down. “MY LORD! TERRIBLE BUSINESS. THE LADY IS HELD CAPTIVE BY A WITCH. WE WILL HAVE TO SORT THAT OUT FIRST. THOUGH IF YOU FEEL THIS IS TOO DANGEROUS WE CAN ALWAYS LEAVE...”
“Does he really fall for that?” Ruki asked, leaning against a chest of drawers.
“TERRIBLE BUSINESS, INDEED! I SHALL NOT HESITATE TO SAVE MY FUTURE QUEEN... IF NEED BE I WILL PUT MY LIFE ON LINE FOR A WOMAN IN DISTRESS. FEAR NOT MY LADY...”
Reita mouthed “see?” a little louder he added “Yes, yes we get it, My Lord. You will defeat the foe and win the girl’s heart. But may I relay the girl’s wholehearted wish to postpone a meeting until after said foe had been removed? She feels very embarrassed about the whole thing...”
“Really?” Prince Uruha was now within reach of the window sill, but had halted in his ascent upon Reita’s words. “But I could vow my loyalty to her in person. And promise to save her. I could go down on my knees...” he sounded disappointed, but a little hope echoed in his final words.
“I hear ya. I hear ya!” Ruki offered.
“Oh... very well then. I’ll wait at the foot of the tower then. Reita?”
“Yes, my lord?”
“When’s dinner?”
tbc.
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N/A:
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!
Hope you all had great holidays. Winter finally arrived last week and there is snow and it's biting cold and I love it :3
It's so much fun writing this ^^ I could do nothing else all day but write these conversations.
I'll hurry with part 3. For my sake, too. I really want to know what will happen next XD
*no clue about the storyline* => Yes, I make this up as I go...
Please let me know what you think!