Comments | rejecktionsfrnd: I Need Your Help

rejecktionsfrnd

I Need Your Help

Jul 14, 2006 16:35

This semester at Macomb, I am attempting to skip a prerequesite for Advanced Creative Writing. The professor told me he would consider it, and I just had to submit several poems and a short story. Well...the downside is that I have roughly 8 pages of college worthy poems, so I am leaving it up to you guys who actually put forth the time to read ( Read more... )

Comments 5

take it or leave it. kryskrys July 15 2006, 13:45:30 UTC

#2 yes. no "..." though.

Now we'd kill for a chance to be innocent... yes

freestylin is the way to be. try when you get crunk at a party.

well that was fun.

it seems to me that sometimes you comprimise your creativity to fit a rhyme scheme. it might just be the style i like to read, but i truly appreciate free verse.

on the other hand it might be wise to use a more complicated rhyme sceme in a poem or two to show how verstaile your knowledge and style is. maybe try to incorporate some different aspects such repetion or eye ryhmes.

i personally don't handle critcism well, so kudos to you.

i wish you luck your english endevor. i am trying something similar with a bio class. woo.

peace.

Re: take it or leave it. kryskrys July 15 2006, 13:46:55 UTC

i suppose i should really check my spelling after leaving such a huge comment. oops.

Thank you rejecktionsfrnd July 15 2006, 21:39:46 UTC

Appreciate...I'm aware some of these aren't completely up to submitting in terms of spelling and grammar...etc. I think I may try a trickier structure like you mentioned...thanks for the input!

anonymous July 15 2006, 18:52:51 UTC

#1
1st Paragraph... tenses maybe change will not to does not and take out the she on the last line

2nd Paragraph... two lines with had maybe change line 2 from he had to he could find ...... also change last line to the face he will never forget (emphasizes her fear is not necessary from 1st paragraph)

3rd Paragraph adjust same as 1st

4th Paragraph make him the subject and maybe last line into 2 something like "he's caught in the moment of what could have been......but confused by what happened to the two of them"

just thoughts

n0rthst4r July 20 2006, 02:22:24 UTC

hoenstly i m a bit of a poet myself...but in my opinion i would go with the first poem, As you walk above the clouds in the night time sky... and Tell me your name, tell me your story. You are a good writer but i like those ones more for some reason :) Good luck with getting that calss