Ooooh, a good bloody fight scene, with spoons no less. *grin* Rockin' fun times.
I breathed a sigh of relief after submitting my entry around 3:00 am this morning, and only now thought, "I wonder which of my buds have theirs up?" Glad we both made the cut this time. :)
Hello doll! Oofta, what a week it has been. I needed a little terminal velocity in this one! It was pretty short, and there probably should have been more development, and that ending just sat wrong to me. It was too abrupt, and just didn't pack enough of a punch, but! All that aside, there are a few lines in there that I like!
Thank you so much for enjoying it with me! <3
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TBH, as my kids now say out loud *sigh*, the ending felt natural to me. If she didn't get squashed, she would be happy and grateful, etc, etc. My preference would actually have been for a bit more detail on the front end, such as how she knew the dude was a "monster," and maybe what he was doing to the other girl
( ... )
I soooooo wanted it to read like non-fiction! That was absolutely what I was going for. So yayness on that one! Thank you for that! <3
I bet she didn't either. And, beyond packing a few spoons in her to-go bags (in case of emergency!), I also saw her eating lots of things that required them the next few days. Sort of a safety blanket kind of thing. Jellos, puddings, ramen and the like! ;D
Love you, hon! I know you already know all about the reading/commenting thing (and how guilty I feel for not doing more), but I give as I can. Doing more than that, extending beyond my own means, will burn me out all the sooner. So. I hope to have a little stamina this season. I really am.
Have the BEST holidays, hon! I hope you get everything!
Great! I'm so glad your protagonist was saved from a truly awful beating. This reminded me of high school, where my friends would jokingly say "use a spoon, it'll hurt more," and suddenly I can't remember the exact reference... but, you know, using a dull object to cause injury might actually hurt way worse than a quick slash of a sharp knife. Good job on this!
I am too! =D She sure earned it, I mean, c'mon! But... saved in the end!
Our boys used to do the SAME thing! They had a whole strategic system of spoon-type tortures! -shaking head- Boys are universal! -sigh-
I think you're right, too! When I was thinking about this plastic spoon, I was thinking about the type that aren't the really hard, snappable plastics, but the kind that are kind of flexible, bendy. And those suckers, I don't know if you've gone to grab one from its box and have moved faster than their spacial relationship allows, because ddaaaaayyyyym! They can give you one HELL of a "paper" cut. Like ... it burns for hours! So, yes! I was thinking of something like that, which I agree, can probably hurt a heck of a lot more than another weapon. Then again, a gun shot.. ;D
Thanks so much for reading, and commenting! I really appreciate it.
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I breathed a sigh of relief after submitting my entry around 3:00 am this morning, and only now thought, "I wonder which of my buds have theirs up?" Glad we both made the cut this time. :)
Dan
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Thank you so much for enjoying it with me! <3 ( ... )
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It reads like non-fiction, and made me cringe at the realization that the spoon the narrator carried was only a plastic one. So underpowered. :O
I'm glad everyone but the perp came out of that one okay, though I'll be the narrator didn't stop shaking for days.
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I soooooo wanted it to read like non-fiction! That was absolutely what I was going for. So yayness on that one! Thank you for that! <3
I bet she didn't either. And, beyond packing a few spoons in her to-go bags (in case of emergency!), I also saw her eating lots of things that required them the next few days. Sort of a safety blanket kind of thing. Jellos, puddings, ramen and the like! ;D
Love you, hon! I know you already know all about the reading/commenting thing (and how guilty I feel for not doing more), but I give as I can. Doing more than that, extending beyond my own means, will burn me out all the sooner. So. I hope to have a little stamina this season. I really am.
Have the BEST holidays, hon! I hope you get everything!
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Our boys used to do the SAME thing! They had a whole strategic system of spoon-type tortures! -shaking head- Boys are universal! -sigh-
I think you're right, too! When I was thinking about this plastic spoon, I was thinking about the type that aren't the really hard, snappable plastics, but the kind that are kind of flexible, bendy. And those suckers, I don't know if you've gone to grab one from its box and have moved faster than their spacial relationship allows, because ddaaaaayyyyym! They can give you one HELL of a "paper" cut. Like ... it burns for hours! So, yes! I was thinking of something like that, which I agree, can probably hurt a heck of a lot more than another weapon. Then again, a gun shot.. ;D
Thanks so much for reading, and commenting! I really appreciate it.
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