Fic: Losing You 6
Losing You (Chapter 6)
By: relic yuy
Beta: Jennrr
Pairing: YumichikaxIkkaku
Rating: Mature in theme but nothing graphic
Genre: Romance/Angst
Summary: Paperwork and drama are taking over Ikkaku's life but not for long.
Previous chapters available here.
Paperwork and drama. The two things that Ikkaku hated the most and those were exactly the two things that were consuming his life at the moment.
During the day, it was paperwork. Was this how the rest of his days in the 11th Division would be spent? Now that Yumichika was in the 3rd, Ikkaku would be stuck pushing paperwitha bunch of idiots who couldn't manage a decent report. Hell, some of them could barely manage their hiragana and katakana. Heaven forbid some Kanji be thrown into the mix.
Ikkaku couldn't even remember the last time he had sparred. It was grating on his nerves but he knew better than to bitch about it to Kenpachi. An irritable Captain stuck behind a mountain of paperwork meant a world of pain for the entire division. Yachiru would get bored within a few minutes and transform the documents into a parade of origami animals, which would ultimately bring the load to Ikkaku. He was doomed no matter what.
He felt like a drone. Like those idiots in suits he'd seen in the real world. Walking corpses they were, overstressed and panicked. They made Ikkaku glad he was dead. He didn't want to even think of what his life would be like if he lived in this era of the human world. Maybe Taichou would make an exception. Maybe he would allow one of those weak pencil pushing types into the Division to tackle the mountain of documents accumulating in the main office. It was a stretch but even if it was dangerous to ask, Ikkaku was willing to risk his neck for the sake of his sanity.
But that would have to wait until tomorrow, the sun was already beginning to sink behind the horizon. Ikkaku got to his feet and stretched, his back popping back into place in three different spots. He was starved and tired. Although there was nothing he wanted more than to drown his sorrows in sake, he knew it wouldn't solve anything. Shit, the drama was affecting his drinking... But,it wasn't any fun drinking without Yumichika anyway.
As he wandered home, his thoughts kept returning to the night before and the stilted conversation with the man he had shared most of his afterlife with. Still, despite the awkwardness, some things were made clear. In order to become Lieutenant, Yumichika had spent the better part of the past few months being tested and challenged. The Gotei wasn't kidding around. Yumichika had been under constant surveillance. They didn't want an average Lieutenant, they wanted exceptional leaders. The day of the encounter with Ichigo and the hollow, Yumichika had scored major points by concealing his reiatsu and retreating far and fast enough that the scouts sent after him were left in the dust.
Yumichika had needed to be discreet over the past few months. Ikkaku understood that. He did. It made perfect sense that Yumichika would have kept a low profile but there was a difference between a low profile and disappearing without a bloody trace! The very thought brought Ikkaku's mood to a simmer. A note, a simple, I'm going to work on something for a few months would have been fucking nice!
He's scowling and he knows it. He's also stomping. If Ikkaku had not been aware of it, the way the officers hurriedly parted to let him by would have been a dead giveaway but fuck, he was pissed! Yumichika could be such a damn hypocrite sometimes. He had been so pissed when Ikkaku had left on a 2 day mission once without telling him. 2 days! And he hadn't even had a choice in the matter then.
Bristling with anger, Ikkaku stomped the last few steps towards his front door, which he had every intention of ripping from it's frame. It was reckless and unpractical but breaking something sure as hell sounded good at the moment. Fortunately for the door, something, or rather someone sat huddled before the very door Ikkaku had evil intention towards.
"Kira?"
The huddled shinigami lifted his head from between his crossed arms. Ikkaku felt his earlier anger dissipate but as he looked into the teary miserable face of the disgraced ex-lieutenant, a sullen annoyance began to brew inside of him.
You, no crying in my division.
The words rangthrough his thoughts suddenly. Kenpachi had said the words to him the previous morning even though Ikkaku hadn't been crying. Things could get ugly if Zaraki Taichou walked by and saw Kira in his current state.
Fuck his life! As soon as the paperwork was done, the drama began.
With a mental roll of the eyes, Ikkaku invited Kira in and offered him a cup of tea. The sooner Kira calmed down, Ikkaku thought, the sooner he would leave and Ikkaku could turn his attention to breaking things.
Kira, however, had other plans. Ikkaku's proffered cup of tea was taken as an invitation for discussion and as soon as the first sip had been swallowed, Kira began regaling Ikkaku with the events of his day.
Somewhere in the flustered flurry of words and sobs that would have gone unheeded, Ikkaku picked up one word of interest. Yumichika. Kira was complaining about Yumichika.
"What happened?" Ikkaku interrupted.
For a second time, Kira misunderstood. The question had been the very first words uttered to him since Ikkaku had originally offered him tea. Although he was a tad annoyed by the interruption, Kira retold the story, glad despite himself that Ikkaku seemed to be taking an interest in him.
Earlier that day, Kira, a little at sorts, made his way to the main office where he had spent most of his time. Yumichika had greeted him kindly. A little too kindly and Kira had been suspicious. A few moments later, sitting on the guest chair next to Unohana Taichou, who was also present, Kira was presented with a choice. He could either go to the 4th where he would be offered the 7th seat that had been recently vacated by Lieutenant Yamada or if he felt the desire to be loyal to his Division, he was invited to stay although as an unseated officer, since all positions, save Captain, were currently occupied.
Once he was done with his tale, Kira turned to Ikkaku was sad, vulnerable eyes.
Ikkaku scratched his head in confusion. It sounded like a pretty good offer to him.
"Can you believe it?" Kira asked, after a few moments.
"Um... So what did you decide?" Ikkaku asked, staring at the wall clock with sudden interest.
"Nothing yet but..."
"Maybe you should go back and sleep on it," Ikkaku cut in.
He was becoming more and more irritated by Kira's presence. He had far more pressing things whirling around in his head right now. He knew that Kira had helped him out in his time of need but he was also aware that there was nothing he could say to make Kira feel better. The man was beyond helping. If he couldn't even stand up for himself, there was nothing Ikkaku or anyone else could do for him.
"Excuse me?"
"You know, Kira, it's been a long day. Why don't you go home and sleep on this?"
"How can I? I don't even have a room anymore!"
"Where do unseated officers sleep?"
"In the bunks! I can't sleep there."
"Why not?"
Kira looked at him desperately, "Can't I sleep here?"
"No," Ikkaku said then cursed mentally. "I mean, it's not a good idea."
"You're going to kick me out? After all we've been through?"
"All we've been through? What the hell are you talking about?"
"So all this time, I've just been an available body?"
"Kira," Ikkaku said pinching the bridge of his nose. "You knew that from the beginning. I told you that and you said you understood."
"I wonder what Yumichika would think about all this," Kira stated defiantly.
"Are you threatening me?"
"You wouldn't want him to know, would you?"
Ikkaku shook his head and chuckled. "Yumichika already knows."
"What?"
"He was right about you," Ikkaku laughed.
"What did he say? He's lying! He's out to destroy me, you saw it! He attacked me with his sword and drained me of my energy. He's manipulating you!"
"So go talk to him about it. You're not going to use me to get back at him."
"I'm not! I... I thought we had something."
Ikkaku sighed. "We don't. Listen, my day has been really fucked up..."
"So has mine!"
"That's what I'm saying. We both need to go to sleep."
"Where am I supposed to go?"
"I don't know! I don't care! Don't you have friends?"
"I thought I did," Kira said tearfully. He shoved past Ikkaku and walked out into the night.
Ikkaku could only sigh in relief. He brought his tea cup to his mouth and took a gulp. Yuck, it was cold. Whatever, he needed something stronger anyway. He pulled out a bottle from the cabinet and settled down at the table. He considered for a moment using his tea cup but opted instead for drinking straight from the bottle. Using a cup was something Yumichika had instilled in him. He wasn't sure how or when it had happened but he was a lot more... well refined for a lack of a better word, than he was before he had met Yumi.
The sake burned smoothly on the way down and Ikkaku sighed. The stress of the day was fading with every swallow but there was a downside to drinking alone. When he was at a pub or drinking with Yumichika, there were always conversations to distract him from his thoughts. No such luck this time. His mind kept flitting back to the night before, to the things he and Yumichika had said, what he had discovered and all the new questions those discoveries conjured. Among the mess, two things stood out the most in his mind.
The first, Taichou knew. Zaraki Taichou not only knew where Yumichika had been all this time but he had recommended him for Lieutenant. WTF? Ikkaku had the brief thought of confronting him but what would he say? Why didn't you tell me Yumichika was leaving? That sounded lame. It wasn't Kenpachi's place to inform him of the whereabouts of his lover and if he had wanted to, what would he have said? Yumichika might be going to the 3rd? That would have been worse. Ikkaku would have thrown a fit even before Yumichika managed to get the position. The more he thought about it the more he realized it was probably Yumichika who had requested the secrecy.
Yumichika loved the spotlight but he was very smart about it. He didn't brag about his achievements unless he had already accomplished them. Ikkaku could take a little credit for that. He had instilled that in his lover. He had dismissed most of Yumichika's early boasts in the Rukongai. Every time Yumichika had mastered one skill, he had started strutting around like a peacock and so Ikkaku had tossed another challenge at him. Good thing Yumichika was a quick learner. He didn't boast often about his skill, only when he was certain he had pushed the boundaries of his strength but instead he had redoubled his boasting about his beauty. Ikkaku didn't have a argument for that and Yumichika knew it.
Ikkaku smiled at the thought. Good times. They had been through so much. He still remembered what it felt like to fall in love. He remembered fighting the feeling despite the high he felt when Yumichika peered up coyly at him from beneath his lashes. Yumichika's beauty was breathtaking on its own, but it was his strength and determination that had Ikkaku on his knees. He had never met anyone who could slice through a gang of uncouth villagers one moment then make a show of slowly pinning up his hair and exposing the pale skin of his nape like it was the sexiest thing in Soul Society. By all logic, Ikkaku had known it was just the back of Yumi's neck but watching the water lap around his shoulders and the drops travel down his spine was sure as hell the sexiest thing he had ever seen. It remained to this day one of Ikkaku's favorite things about Yumichika. He loved brushing Yumi's hair aside and trailing his fingers from the hairline down between the shoulder blades, into the dip of his lower back...
That brought to mind the second thing that bothered him most about last night. Yumichika had been acting rather strange. Every time Ikkaku had reached out to him, Yumi had subtly moved out of the way. The first time Ikkaku had let it go, but it had gone on all through their conversation. Yumi even avoided Ikkaku when a strand of hair fell into his eyes. Naturally, Ikkaku had reached out to brush it away, as he always did, but Yumi had taken half a step back and brushed it away himself. In all the time they had been together, Yumi had never pulled away from him. Never.
What was Yumi's problem? Was it because of the Kira thing? It couldn't be. They had talked about the Kira thing. Ikkaku had asked directly.
The night before...
"What's your deal with Kira, anyway?" Ikkaku demanded. "After all the centuries we've been together, you choose Kira to be jealous of?"
Yumichika sneered in disdain. "I wasn't jealous. I was angry."
"Why? I thought you were friends."
"He used kidou to knock me out."
"When?"
"After the column you were guarding was destroyed."
Oh. It all made sense now. It wasn't about jealousy at all.
Kira had made a critical error. Not only did he have the audacity to stand between them but he had stepped on Yumichika's pride in the process. Yumi had spent centuries balancing his appearance with the potency of his strength. He very rarely displayed his vulnerabilities. No one in the 11th did, it was part of the code. Fight like a warrior or die trying. Yumichika had taken it to heart even more than the rest of the division. The only, only, exception and it happened very seldom, was when he was worried about Ikkaku. Kira had intercepted him in a moment of weakness, not only that, he had used Kidou and attacked from behind. No wonder Yumi had been furious. If Kira had challenged him head on,he could have saved himself from Yumichika's wrath.
"I didn't know that," Ikkaku said lamely.
"Of course you didn't," Yumichika laughed. "Like he would let you in on that part of the story while trying to sink his claws into you."
Ikkaku shifted on his feet. "You know..."
"Yes," Yumi said calmly. "I know."
"Shit, it didn't take long for you to catch up on gossip," Ikkaku remarked with irritation.
"It's not gossip if it's true."
Ikkaku huffed and looked away guiltily.
"How was he?" Yumichika asked with a smile.
Ikkaku shrugged.
"That memorable, hmm?"
"He was there!" Ikkaku snapped. "It wouldn't have happened if you hadn't disappeared all of a sudden."
"So it was my fault?" Yumichika asked.
"Yes... No. That's not..."
"It's alright, I understand."
Of course he did. Yumichika always understood him. Ikkaku was somewhat surprised at how dismissive Yumi was being about this whole thing. But then again, Kira had never really been competition and now that Yumi held his place as Lieutenant, Kira had become next to invisible inYumichika's eyes.
"It's late. I have to get up early tomorrow," Yumichika said. "So much to do. You should see the state of things in the 3rd. It's revolting. Not a touch of class or elegance anywhere."
"I'm sure you'll fix that."
"Of course! I have an entire Division at my disposal. The 3rd will be sparkling by the time I'm through with it."
Ikkaku snorted at the idea of the disgruntled officers of the 3rd reduced to scrubbing and polishing. He also knew the wrath they would face if they dared to argue. He didn't envy them at all.
"See you," Yumichika called as he headed off towards the 3rd.
Ikkaku was having none of that. He grabbed Yumi by the arm and yanked him flush against his chest. As he crushed their mouths together Yumichika stiffened momentarily but soon melted into the touch and the hard kiss turned tender and sweet. There, that confirmed some things hadn't changed. Some things were constant. Their belonging to one another was one of them.
Or so he thought.
Yumichika pulled away slowly, his hands resting on Ikkaku's chest, his eyes still closed. He licked his lips and sighed gently as if he was quietly willing the moment to last just a little longer.
As he opened his eyes, he seemed to regain his composure.
"Goodnight, Madarame-san," Yumichika smiled.
He walked off without another word as a stunned and confused Ikkaku stood, watching him disappear into the night.
Madarame-san?
So now Yumi was alive and well and home, sort of, but Ikkaku was no better off. He tossed Hozukimaru onto the futon and began to undress. Now he didn't know where they stood which was disconcerting. Wait a minute! He snatched the sword back off the futon and growled at it.
"You told me he was dead!"
"You never asked me if he was dead," Hozukimaru answered lazily. "You asked if you had lost him."
"That's the same thing!"
"No it isn't. He's alive and he's not yours anymore."
Ikkaku dropped the sword again. It had NEVER even crossed his mind that he and Yumichika might break up. It was just such an absurd thought. After the centuries they had spent together, they fit, they were partners, they belonged together.
Had Yumichika changed his mind? Had their argument been the last straw? No. It couldn't have been. Yumichika had kissed him back. The air still crackled between them even if Yumi was being distant. He wasn't playing hard to get because Ikkaku knew Yumichika's teases well and this was not one of them. Yumi was serious about this. These changes. They were in different divisions, they wouldn't live together anymore, they wouldn't sleep together anymore, Ikkaku would have to see Yumichika every day and know that he was not a part of Yumi's life. That was worse than Yumi being dead. That wouldn't do at all and there was no way in hell Ikkaku planned on letting Yumichika make that decision all by himself.
The sun had barely risen over the horizon and Ikkaku was ready to start the day. He marched purposefully towards Kenpachi's office. He had spent the entire night thinking about this and he'd made up his mind. Without bothering to knock, he let himself in and faced his yawning Taichou.
"I want to be a captain," Ikkaku declared.
"It's about time," Kenpachi replied.
He got out of his seat and Yachiru hoped onto her perch on his shoulder. She was grinning happily. Kenpachi walked by Ikkaku and started down the hall towards the dojo.
"Let's test that bankai of yours," he said over his shoulder.
Ikkaku stood rooted to the spot.
"You knew?"
Kenpachi had reached the threshold of the dojo. He slid the door open and without bothering to look back, he called out to his 3rd Seat.
"You gonna stand there and gape or are you going to fight?"
In the 3rd Division, while the officers begrudgingly scrubbed and polished every centimetre of the Division, Yumichika Fukutaichou and Miyake Katsumi Taichou of the 5th were flipping through large bundles of fabric and paint swatches. Yumichika had managed to narrow the fabric choices down to two that he liked best. He drapped them over the sofa and turned to ask Miyake Taichou for her opinion when there came a soft knock on the door.
"Come in," Yumichika called.
Newly unseated officer Kira Izuru walked in, looking ready and determined to make an announcement. His determination quickly shifted to confusion.
"What's going on?"
Yumichika, glad for an extra pair of hands, plopped a pile of design catalogues and samples in his arms.
"Be a dear and bring these to Nori-san. He's... somewhere. He knows what to do with them."
It was clear that Kira was upset with the changes but he wisely decided not to say a thing. He already felt like he was on bad terms with Miyake Taichou after the... confrontation about her choice of Lieutenant. He had come with a purpose so it was best to get to the point.
"Yumichika," Kira began.
"Is that how you address your Lieutenant?" Miyake interjected sharply.
So much for avoiding further confrontation.
"I apologize. Ayasegawa... Fukutaichou, I have made my decision. I would like to go to the 4th."
The fabric swatch at the very top of the pile was suddenly very interesting. It was many different shades of purple and Kira suddenly wished he could hide beneath it. It looked very soft. He had been bracing himself all morning for this. Yumichika had won. As much as he hated to admit it, Yumichika had made a fool out of him. He had taken his position, his Division, Ikkaku... even if Ikkaku was never his to begin with.
"I expected as much," Yumichika said picking up a file from his desk and dropping it atop of Kira's wobbly pile. "The paperwork is already filled out. Unohana Taichou is expecting you. Send her my regards."
Kira stared at the file then ventured to look up at his rival. He had been expecting more gloating, more laughter, more ridicule. The last thing he had expected was indifference but Yumichika had already returned his attentions to his fabric swatches. Was he planning something? It certainly didn't seem like it, but it was hard to tell with Yumichika.
"Do your best in your new division," Miyake said.
For the first time since they had met, the voice she was using to address him was kind and sincere. What was going on? Kira wasn't expecting this at all. He would have preferred if Yumichika had lashed out but this graciousness was even more insulting. Was he really not even worth the anger?
"I slept with Ikkaku," Kira said.
Miyake and Yumichika paused in their designing to look at the disgraced officer.
"I know," Yumichika said.
"Private affairs should not be hashed out in the workplace," Miyake Taichou added.
Kira face burned red. "Aren't you angry?"
"What's done is done," Yumichika said with a smile that dripped with pity. "Let's put it behind us and get on with our lives, shall we?"
With his jaw clenched, his face red and his arms clinging fiercely to the bundle, Kira walked out of the office, without another word. Yumichika watched him go with a shake of his head.
"Such manners. He didn't even bid us farewell."
"He's not your problem anymore. At least you can check one thing off of your list," Katsumi said.
"My list, I had forgotten about that. Where did I put it?" Yumichika went over to his desk and brushed some paint swatches out of the way. He flipped open his planner and pulled out a neatly folded list. "Seems like I wrote this such a long time ago."
Katsumi Taichou walked over and picked it out of Yumichika's hand. She sat down in Yumi's chair and pulled out his pen.
"Let's see here. 1 - Train to become stronger..."
"Not yet."
"Really, I would have checked that. You're much stronger than when I first met you."
"Yesterday I would have checked it."
"But?"
"Ikkaku thought I was dead."
"Excuse me?"
"He heard that the scouts couldn't find my reiatsu and thought I was killed. By a hollow!"
"I don't know anything about him other than what you've told me but in his defense, I doubt that he wanted to believe you were dead."
"Regardless, it's unforgivable. I will make sure no one ever makes such a ridiculous assumption again."
"Checking it doesn't mean you stop trying."
"Next?" Yumichika said impatiently.
"2- Grow out hair," Katsumi said with a roll of the eyes.
"Not yet," Yumi said, mournfully toying with his locks. "It would have been grown out and perfect if Kira hadn't been so insipid."
"3- Rise in rank. Check."
"Yes, that one is safe to check."
"4- Attain materialization."
"Getting closer. Rui'iro Kujaku is much happier now that I am no longer hiding his strength."
"Naturally. I'm sure he can't wait to showcase his strengths."
"If that's the case, I don't see what's taking him so long."
"He's probably punishing you for hiding him all these years."
"That wouldn't surprise me. He's such a narcissist."
Katsumi chuckled but carried on.
"5- Knock Kira down a few pegs."
"Check," Yumichika said with a satisfied smirk. "I think that one deserves a star."
"Agreed. 6- Look ravishing... check."
Yumi laughed.
"One can never stop trying to look their best. It's an ongoing effort."
"Perhaps we should take a break from paints and fabrics," Katsumi suggested. "Perhaps take a look at sashes and accessories instead."
"Is that all I had on my list?" Yumichika asks.
Miyake Taichou skimmed the list once again. "7- Make sure Ikkaku is paying attention."
"Check although not in the way I planned."
"Sounds like a good story."
"I kissed him last night. Well, he kissed me but I... I let myself get swept up in the moment. I lost myself in his strong arms, his warmth, the firm press of his chest against mine..." Yumichika licked his lips as he had the night before, the memory still vivid in his mind. "Anyhow, he is definitely paying attention."
AN: So it's been brought to my attention that I have been neglecting Yumichika lately and I can only defend that by saying that it was for Ikkaku's sake. Everyone was quick to blame him at first and it made me a little defensive of him. Anyhow, the next chapter will be focused on Yumichika. Ta!
