I'm slowly moving past the whole feel really guilty for what I did (everyone knows what I mean) and getting to this point where I feel like I'm just not good enough.... at anything.. I feel too fat... to ugly too..

How exactly does one prove the unprovable?

Its funny how we always live our lives in cycles. HAPPY HAPPY UNHAPPY (REPEAT) forever and ever after! I'm such a fucking idiot. A wothless nothing! and yet somehow someone still says to themselves "You cant kill yourself, why woud you put me through that" Then I think fro a second " Havnt I put you through hell and back,(well amybe not the back ( Read more... )

I havnt posted on here in forever but ya know... i figure... what the hey someone must still read it right. I really miss people. I get so lonely on my days off because me and mike spend so little time together with work and shit... and none of my friends really hangout with me anymore either... not that it isnt mostly because of my shit ass ( Read more... )

WHat if everything you said
everything i said
was a lie
what if we hid everything
live in different worlds
where the only thing that brought us together
were the things we never really had to say
there were so many things i wish i never said
but i did...
did you...?

Its been an hour I've been sitting here fighting with myself. Should i post an LJ? Why not? I know the only person who EVER reads this is Mike, but maybe by some chance someone else will actually care too. I am not a helper,I've come to this conclusion. People should not ask me for advice or expect me to tell them anything that I might feel could ( Read more... )

so everything has been really good i guess... work is getting alittle better but i still wish that they would give me a couple more hours before i TWEEK again.. me and mike are good.. i love him so much he's the greatest... anyway thats all for now... so long

So i'm evil.. so i read your emails when i get bored... BIG FUCKING DEAL!!! this is a relationship NO ONE HAS A RIGHT TO THEIR PRIVACY WHEN THEIR IN LOVE>>> DUH/// no really i was just bored.. and it was so easy and it made me so mad.. i mean read my last post you can tell no? i hate him with every inch of my body just like i hate someone else you ( Read more... )

Is it sick the it scares me to death the things that you do when i'm not around... the lies and the secrets and the excuses... everytime you have to stop to think.. everytime you go out with "this name has been deleted for my protection" Is it so bad that i hate him becuase he's wrong and if you dont stop agreeing with him i'll learn to hate you ( Read more... )

i dont know who will read this and i suppose taht is exactly why i am writing in it. I have a new boyfriend Bill .. now for like a weekend ish.. i really like him but i've been really flirty with alot of people lately and .. yea.. i dunno i dont wnat to hurt him.. but anyway life is good .. the college life is fun.. but i still have to go to school ( Read more... )