-
A Series of Notes From April 2019 Til Dec 2019 Or: Some Notes From 2019
April 26th, 2019: “You can do whatever you desire with me. You cannot do whatever you want with me.” This was the biggest most honest truth I could communicate at the time. Like, I was happy I could move my fingers and type and stuff, my being was so filled with stuff. And I’m pretty sure that was more the spirit or energy or whatever that ( Read more... ) -
Q, Anon, and Qanon Or: Why I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb
Q, folks. The stupidest letter of the alphabet. That’s a joke. But, there’s a thing called Q. And people have written books about it and followed it a lot more closely than I ever did and then there’s a bunch of people who actually want to believe that shit. It is a combination of Warhammer 40K roleplay, Gen X Americana pop-culture, uncommon ( Read more... ) -
I'm Totally Freaking Our Man Or: I Was Totally Freaking Out Man
In early 2020 shit got real crunchy on my end. My aunt has decided to be trapped in her mind, but it’s also my fault for being the way I am. That’s fucked up and a lie. She just didn’t have any desire to talk with me like the person I was or am because she refused to see me for whatever I am and instead chose to live with whatever version of me ( Read more... ) -
It All Begins Again Or: SURPRISE, Arizona!
The following was written in late November 2020, before Thanksgiving.
*****
Okay, so, I’m in a motel here in SURPRISE, Arizona. How the hell did I end up here?
It started with the selling of the house. And the day I left home. Election Day, November 3rd, 2020. I bought a new used car that was ready to go by Thursday. I stayed in motels in town ( Read more... ) -
You've Got A Lot Going On Or: I Understand You're Very Busy
[This was written in mid 2020, when I recorded myself reading my book out loud in my old family house.]
I understand you’re very busy and you’ve got a lot going on. We understand this. And there’s a lot of decisions and distractions that get in our way. So I’ve made a thing that’s easier to digest, maybe. I read the book Dangerouser to you! ( Read more... ) -
A Changing Family Dynamic Or: Being Uninvested With Your Family
The following was written October 19th, 2020.
******
There’s an infinite number of ways to look at it. Infinite perspective. But since my Grandma died, my aunt has turned into a weird nightmare for me. I kinda saw it coming too.
My aunt had been detached for I don’t know how long. I can tell this from realizing and recognizing my own detachment ( Read more... ) -
Just Another Victim Or: The PSEUDO SPIRITUAL
This fucking asshole. For the purpose of this exercise, we will use my cousin as our example. So, the pseudo-spiritual person will sound amazing. This person will behave like they have all the answers. Anyone familiar with my first book? It has all the answers in there, that was part of the gimmick. And would you look at that… gimmick. What ( Read more... ) -
2020 Vision
“Make sure and use the hashtag, 2020Vision,” said no one at all ever during the year 2020. I used that hashtag over on this social media app called Parler. It was pretty new at the time and all the rage for a bunch of confused people to flock to so they could say terrible things. I was one of them, but tried to keep the terrible things down as ( Read more... ) -
My Mother's Psychological Evaluation From 1986
This wasn’t the beginning, but it can be an appropriate place to mark a beginning and an ending. This comes from a May 2nd, 1986 psychological evaluation of my mother, Mary Beth: “The following will be a composite and will not be presented in order. The reason for this is that there have been so many isolated and pocket areas of problems and ( Read more... ) -
April 26th 2019
These words are being written right in the middle of November 2021. The 15th. Back on April 26th, 2019 I had a kundalini experience where a thing happened with and in my head and then a thing happened inside my chest. Something entered or activated or a connection was made. It was the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. I lived a ( Read more... )