(no subject)
i hate this shit. today has fucking sucked. i just wanna go back home and be with tyler. i dont wanna sit here in this fucking lame ass dorm room by myself because no one is online, and no one is calling me and beckys out with boys again. i fucking cant stand it. not to mention i havent fucking heard from tyler all day and thats what usually keeps me in a good mood. so here i am fucking pissed to the limit. oh and my moms not answering the house phone and for some fucking reason has her cell phone turned off so thats great. ill just sit here and fucking do nothing. i dont want to do any homework, i dont need to eat anything. so hmm...what shall i do? fuck off. im in the worst mood right now. it always sucks so fucking bad coming back to this shit hole of a town. theres nothing to do and no one to hang out with. you know, college is supposed to be the best years of your life but so far, im not really seeing that. im just ready to be done with it all. oh and im not going home for 3 weeks and thats gonna suck. so whoopee for this shit. and to top it off its a fucking ugly day and when i look out my window, from the fucking basement of this hell hole of a building, all i see is a large blue dumpster. and fucking mexicans paving some god-damned cul-de-sac. i havent been this bad in a long time. but you know, after leaving beautiful pensacola with my friends, family, pets, and tyler, coming back here just fucking depresses me. oh not to mention that my face is breaking out along with a sun blister that i have no idea why its on my face so why would i go out in public anyways? so people can look at my face some more? right. fuck you. and another thing that pisses me off is that for some ungodly reason i am not allowed to eat like a normal person. i watch all my friends eat and they dont gain weight or anything, i eat practically nothing compared to what i used to and here i am, still fat as ever. and dont commment saying "ashley youre not fat" or anything encouraging cause right now, i dont give a shit and really i dont wanna hear it. i just wanna bitch. so let me. dont comment. oh and my french manicure that i got like 3-4 days ago has already come off. well, i just talked to tyler so i feel a little better. but still. im just gonna watch some tv or something. bye.