Drabble: Never Mine
Title: Never Mine
Author: remuslives23
Rating: R...maybe
Pairing: Sirius/Remus with a voyeuristic Tonks
Prompt: Voyeurism
Warnings: Mild reference to sex and masturbation.
Word Count: Sorry, even cut down it was about 304.
Summary: She realises that he'll never be hers.
Notes: I just could not let luvscharlie 's Tonks/Remus go without a puppyshipping response! :) I wrote this very quickly in the last half hour and it's the first time I've written from Tonk's POV. Be gentle with me! Unbetaed so punctuation is shocking! Written for hp_porninthesun comment porn. Still time to sign up for the real thing!!
Never Mine
I shouldn’t torture myself like this. I should just accept that it can never be, that he can never be mine and move on, but still I find myself drawn to the alcove just outside the bedroom they share and watch as the man I love makes love to the man he loves.
I watch as his hands - the same hands I imagine twining in my hair, stroking my cheek, thrusting inside me - caress a tattooed chest, trail along hair-roughened thighs, fist a thick, hard cock, and I want to look away, but I can’t. Every movement is mesmerising and the tenderness in his every touch just makes me want him more.
I feel like a traitor for wishing Sirius had never escaped Azkaban, for wanting my own cousin back in that hell hole with his mind and body in tatters, but in the darkest recesses of my mind, I do. And, as I slide my hand into my damp knickers, I am ashamed that I wish to supplant him, to steal the only respite he has in his suffocated existence for myself.
I know I should go, that I should give them the privacy they deserve, but I don’t, can’t, stop watching as they move in symphony, each languid movement perfected by years of practice that even thirteen years apart couldn’t make their bodies forget. Remus gasps Sirius’ name and whispers, ‘I love you,' as he comes and it sounds heartbreakingly right falling from his lips. Tears sting my eyes as I climax with Sirius, both of us murmuring, ’I love you too’ as we do.
As I flee , I hear the rumble of Remus' all-too-rarely-heard laughter and I know in that moment that even if one day I manage to capture him, Remus will never truly be mine.
fin.