Fic: Satisfying Their Curiosity 2/4
Title: Satisfying Their Curiosity
Author: remuslives23
Story Rating: NC17
Prompt: potterprompts 28: I love you, and lover100 005: Discovery
Summary: Over-indulgence at Lily and James' wedding leads to Remus inadvertently revealing a secret he'd been keeping from Sirius. Sirius takes advantage of the revelation to explore a long-held fascination for the werewolf.
Notes/Warnings: m/m sexual situations, language, frequent and intense desire to murder author. EXTREME cheesiness!
Disclaimer: This fiction is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling and affiliates. No money is being made and no offence is intended. Characters are of legal age for sexual situations.
Chapter One Here
Chapter Two
Bright lights assaulted Remus as he woke. He groaned then whimpered as the tiny noise set off explosions of pain throughout his head. He lay still and quiet for several minutes before he started to become more aware of the parts of his body below his throbbing head.
Oh, God. Never again.
His stomach was roiling, but Remus thought he’d be able to make it to a Sobering Potion without vomiting… if he could just manage to sit up. His body felt heavy as if it were under a weight, and he couldn’t move his limbs. He squinted down to see if his body had finally packed up and walked out on him then his eyes widened as he realised he was naked - with an equally as naked Sirius sprawled across his chest.
‘Oh, Merlin. What did we do?’
The horrified words were whispered, but apparently not inaudible.
‘Nothing,' answered Sirius, voice rough. He raised his head then moaned and pressed it back down into Remus’ bare chest. ‘Never again, Moony. No more drinking.’
‘Why are we naked?’ Remus asked as loudly as he dared, hoping the panic bubbling inside wasn't obvious in his voice.
Sirius lifted his head again, slowly this time, but with a guarded look on his face. ‘You don’t remember?’
Remus frowned. Sirius had always had trouble hiding his emotions from his friends and right now, he was hurt.
God, what did I do?
‘I… I can’t remember my own name with this marching band in my head, Padfoot,' he admitted, trying to keep his tone light. 'Get up, you lump. You're heavy.’
Sirius pushed himself into a sitting position and turned to swing his legs over the edge of the mattress, closing his eyes and cursing softly.
‘Shit.’
Remus sat up as well, letting out a long breath as the drums in his head increased their tempo and for a moment, the world spun. When everything righted itself, he watched Sirius bury his head in his hands, fingers clutching at his ebony hair as his elbows rested on his knees. Feeling a shot of guilt for whatever the hell he’d managed to talk a pissed Sirius into last night, he patted him awkwardly on the shoulder.
‘Stay there. I’ll get you a potion.’
Sirius nodded as Remus rose carefully. His stomach made its objections to the movement known as he made his way to Sirius‘ bathroom, the churning not all due to the alcohol consumption the night before. The expression on Sirius’ face was one he’d never seen before on his friend: pain and something that looked a lot like longing, and Remus was furious with himself that he couldn’t recall what, if anything, had happened between them last night to put it there.
He found several vials of Sobriety Potion and quickly downed one, grimacing as the thick, oily liquid slid down his throat. For several moments, he stood with his eyes closed, trying to keep down the contents of his stomach as they threatened to expel the vile-tasting potion. Finally, the aches and nausea of his hangover started to fade and he breathed a sigh of relief.
Remus looked at himself in the mirror, wincing at his wrung out appearance, then splashed water on his face. As he raised his head, he caught sight of a red mark on his neck and leaned closer to the mirror to inspect the bruised skin. It was a bite mark and Remus suddenly recalled with perfect clarity the moment Sirius had given it to him... and everything that had led up to that moment.
‘Shit. Shit!’
He wasn’t sure who had passed out first, but he could remember kissing Sirius one minute then feeling intensely tired. The next thing he recalled was waking up a few minutes ago. He exhaled a great sigh. So nothing too irreparable had occurred - to his intense disappointment.
Closing his eyes, he stretched his still-tender mind to draw on the memory of those kisses, those words…
’I want you.’
Remus had been crazy about Sirius for so long that it seemed impossible that all his dreams and fantasies could be on the verge of coming true. Could the man he wanted more than anything else really desire him in return?
He’d spent the last few years coming to terms with the fact he was head over heels in love with a man who was unobtainable and, although sometimes it was difficult, Remus was glad he had been able to maintain their friendship without things getting weird.
Until last night.
Had Sirius really wanted him or was it the booze talking? Remus leaned over and splashed water on his face then rinsed out his mouth before straightening determinedly.
‘There’s only one way to find out.’
He grabbed a towel from the pile of dirty clothes on the floor and wiped his face before he wrapped it around his hips. Steeling himself, he walked back into the bedroom, marching straight over to the bed where a still-despondent looking Sirius was sitting.
‘Here, Pads.’
He handed Sirius the hangover potion and the other man looked up, smiling gratefully before pouring it down his throat. Remus tried to keep his eyes averted from what lay between Sirius' legs - a difficult task… Sirius was very impressive. Remus own cock made a valiant attempt to come to life and, given he was every bit as naked as Sirius was under the very thin towel, Remus quickly moved to sit next to his friend on the edge of the bed.
‘Padfoot…last night…’
‘It’s alright. Nothing happened. You… passed out.’
‘I… really? I’m sorry…’
‘Don’t.’
There was a moment of quiet then Remus asked, ‘So I told you…?’
‘That you're gay? Yeah…’
Remus caught the resentful tone and winced.‘That’s not how I wanted you to find out…’
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
Remus looked over at his friend and couldn’t help his smile.
‘What?’ asked Sirius defensively.
‘I never thought we’d have this discussion sitting in your bed naked after we spent a good part of the night making out.’
Sirius let out a huff of amusement then he sighed loudly, scrubbing at his stubbled face before he queried, ‘Do… do you remember anything else about what was said last night?’
Remus licked at his dry lips and swallowed before answering. ‘You mean the part where you said you wanted me?’
‘You remember that?’ Sirius closed his eyes. 'Fuck.'
‘No we didn’t,' said Remus softly. 'Unfortunately.’
Sirius’ head snapped around sharply, frowning at Remus who took a deep, confidence-boosting breath and hoped he wasn't about to ruin the one thing he treasured above everything else - his friendship with Sirius.
‘I’m just going to get this out and… you can do with it what you will. Act on it, forget it, hit me…’
‘Remus…’
Remus nodded and heaved a sigh.‘Okay. I... I knew I was gay in Fifth Year. I realised when I couldn’t stop thinking about you, fantasising about you. I… have only ever been with one man - Gideon - and we broke up because I couldn’t get you out of my fucking head.’
Sirius gaped at him and Remus summoned the last of his courage - he’d come this far.
‘I… I love you, Sirius,' he whispered haltingly. 'I’m in love with you. I have been since I was fifteen and… I’m tired. Tired of hiding it, tired of pretending to be something I’m not, tired of lying. I know this is going to… change us - that’s why I’ve never said anything before - but I hope - Merlin, I’m praying with everything in me - that this isn’t the end of us.’
‘Remus, I…’
‘I know you aren’t gay,' Remus interrrupted. 'It took some time, but I came to terms with the fact my feelings won’t be requited and I'm okay with it. I just don't want this to fuck up our friendship…’
‘Gods, Remus! Do you ever shut up?’
Sirius’ words had the desired effect, Remus clamping his mouth shut. His eyes clenched tightly shut, fighting the frightened tears that had risen. Sirius hated him. He was disgusted in him. He was… kissing him?
Remus turned his head and the lips that had been trailing their way across his cheekbone immediately covered his own. His words were muffled against an insistent mouth as he stammered, ‘P… Pads…?’
‘Shut up, Moony.’
He did, allowing Sirius to take the lead for a few moments, needing to make sure the other man was truly serious about this, then with a little moan, Remus kissed him back.
*
Sirius groaned when Remus’ tongue stroked over his lips and he met it with his own. Fingers sank into his hair and Sirius shifted, trying to get closer, to get inside Remus. The other man's tongue stroked over his, and Sirius moaned as Remus' soft, insistent muscle tasted every crevasse of his mouth.
Where the hell did he learn to kiss like this?
Sirius raised his hands to Remus' face, thumbs stroking over the rough, prickly jaw and his chest tightened. He was doing this. He was really kissing Remus and Remus was kissing him back. Remus was in love with him...
Comprehension finally hit that he was getting everything he'd been wanting so desperately for so long and suddenly, Sirius felt like crying. To cover his desire to burst into tears like a fucking woman, he firmed his lips against Remus' and kissed him like he'd never kissed anyone before, putting his whole self into it and, as he did, realised that he was handing his heart over to the other man.
That he'd handed it over a long time ago.
They fell back onto the bed and the change in position seemed to allow some pesky reason to sneak back into Remus’ mind.
‘Wait! Wait, Sirius…’
Remus turned his head to the side, breaking the kiss and Sirius lifted his head. ‘Haven’t we wasted enough bloody time, Remus?’
Remus stared at him and Sirius could see the battle raging in those blue eyes. He could see how torn Remus was: he wanted this as badly as Sirius did, but his bloody morals kept getting in the way. Sirius pushed the light-brown hair out of Remus' face, keeping eye contact as he tried to explain just how much he needed this. Remus had opened up to him. The least he could do was reciprocate with a bit of honesty himself.
‘Remus, I want this. I… want you. I have for so long that it’s slightly pathetic - Sirius Black mooning after another bloke - but I could never have said anything. Not when I thought there was no way you could want me back, but last night when you told me you liked blokes…’
Remus opened his mouth, but Sirius put his hand over his mouth lightly, pressing his groin into the other man’s. Remus groaned as their half-hard cocks rubbed together through the towelling cloth around his waist.
Sirius smiled.‘Can’t you feel how much I want this, how much I need this? I… I never thought that this could be more than desire, more than lust, but… it’s been three years, Moony. Who lusts after someone who is not returning their feelings for so long unless…’
He gulped a little, struggling with the knowledge that this is what his heart had been trying to tell him all along.
‘…unless it’s something else?’
Remus drew in a sharp breath and his eyes widened. His lips were trembling when he spoke.
‘We shouldn’t do this now. We should talk about…’
‘Remus, we could be killed on our next mission,' Sirius said impatiently. 'Every time I go away, I try and convince myself that I should tell you how I feel in case it's the last time I get the chance, but I always chicken out. Some bloody Gryffindor I am, huh?’
‘So, shag today for tomorrow we die?’ Remus said with a raised eyebrow.
Sirius frowned and touched Remus face softly, tenderly. ‘If I’d had the courage to tell you how I felt years ago, we could have had so much time together already. I don’t want to waste anymore time, Remus, not when we are so close to getting what we both want.’
Remus saw the sincerity in Sirius’ face and his objections melted away. 'Neither do I.’
Their lips met softly this time, lips caressing gently before tongues slipped tentatively into each other’s mouths, tasting and stroking with growing assurance. Hands touched reverently, exploring the textures of each others' hair, each others’ face - soft and smooth and rough and prickly combining to provide a heady sensory experience that drove their desire higher until they both needed more.
Remus could feel Sirius’ uncertainty about how to take this further, his hesitancy to take the lead and he twisted, rolling them so he hovered over the other man. He forced his lips off Sirius’, reluctant to break the contact, but needing permission to keep going.
A flash of panic reflected in Sirius' eyes. 'Remus, no,' he said, holding onto Remus' shoulders to stop him pulling away. 'Don't stop. I want... I want you to fuck me.'
Remus leaned in and kissed Sirius - quick but sweet. 'I'm not stopping,' he said softly, cupping Sirius' face. 'And I don't want to fuck you. I want to make love to you. I want to be the one to show you that there's a difference.'
Sirius could barely breathe - excitement, anticipation and lust combining to tighten his chest almost painfully, so he just nodded and reached for his friend who was about to become his lover.
‘Show me.’
TBC...
Author: remuslives23
Story Rating: NC17
Prompt: potterprompts 28: I love you, and lover100 005: Discovery
Summary: Over-indulgence at Lily and James' wedding leads to Remus inadvertently revealing a secret he'd been keeping from Sirius. Sirius takes advantage of the revelation to explore a long-held fascination for the werewolf.
Notes/Warnings: m/m sexual situations, language, frequent and intense desire to murder author. EXTREME cheesiness!
Disclaimer: This fiction is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling and affiliates. No money is being made and no offence is intended. Characters are of legal age for sexual situations.
Chapter One Here
Chapter Two
Bright lights assaulted Remus as he woke. He groaned then whimpered as the tiny noise set off explosions of pain throughout his head. He lay still and quiet for several minutes before he started to become more aware of the parts of his body below his throbbing head.
Oh, God. Never again.
His stomach was roiling, but Remus thought he’d be able to make it to a Sobering Potion without vomiting… if he could just manage to sit up. His body felt heavy as if it were under a weight, and he couldn’t move his limbs. He squinted down to see if his body had finally packed up and walked out on him then his eyes widened as he realised he was naked - with an equally as naked Sirius sprawled across his chest.
‘Oh, Merlin. What did we do?’
The horrified words were whispered, but apparently not inaudible.
‘Nothing,' answered Sirius, voice rough. He raised his head then moaned and pressed it back down into Remus’ bare chest. ‘Never again, Moony. No more drinking.’
‘Why are we naked?’ Remus asked as loudly as he dared, hoping the panic bubbling inside wasn't obvious in his voice.
Sirius lifted his head again, slowly this time, but with a guarded look on his face. ‘You don’t remember?’
Remus frowned. Sirius had always had trouble hiding his emotions from his friends and right now, he was hurt.
God, what did I do?
‘I… I can’t remember my own name with this marching band in my head, Padfoot,' he admitted, trying to keep his tone light. 'Get up, you lump. You're heavy.’
Sirius pushed himself into a sitting position and turned to swing his legs over the edge of the mattress, closing his eyes and cursing softly.
‘Shit.’
Remus sat up as well, letting out a long breath as the drums in his head increased their tempo and for a moment, the world spun. When everything righted itself, he watched Sirius bury his head in his hands, fingers clutching at his ebony hair as his elbows rested on his knees. Feeling a shot of guilt for whatever the hell he’d managed to talk a pissed Sirius into last night, he patted him awkwardly on the shoulder.
‘Stay there. I’ll get you a potion.’
Sirius nodded as Remus rose carefully. His stomach made its objections to the movement known as he made his way to Sirius‘ bathroom, the churning not all due to the alcohol consumption the night before. The expression on Sirius’ face was one he’d never seen before on his friend: pain and something that looked a lot like longing, and Remus was furious with himself that he couldn’t recall what, if anything, had happened between them last night to put it there.
He found several vials of Sobriety Potion and quickly downed one, grimacing as the thick, oily liquid slid down his throat. For several moments, he stood with his eyes closed, trying to keep down the contents of his stomach as they threatened to expel the vile-tasting potion. Finally, the aches and nausea of his hangover started to fade and he breathed a sigh of relief.
Remus looked at himself in the mirror, wincing at his wrung out appearance, then splashed water on his face. As he raised his head, he caught sight of a red mark on his neck and leaned closer to the mirror to inspect the bruised skin. It was a bite mark and Remus suddenly recalled with perfect clarity the moment Sirius had given it to him... and everything that had led up to that moment.
‘Shit. Shit!’
He wasn’t sure who had passed out first, but he could remember kissing Sirius one minute then feeling intensely tired. The next thing he recalled was waking up a few minutes ago. He exhaled a great sigh. So nothing too irreparable had occurred - to his intense disappointment.
Closing his eyes, he stretched his still-tender mind to draw on the memory of those kisses, those words…
’I want you.’
Remus had been crazy about Sirius for so long that it seemed impossible that all his dreams and fantasies could be on the verge of coming true. Could the man he wanted more than anything else really desire him in return?
He’d spent the last few years coming to terms with the fact he was head over heels in love with a man who was unobtainable and, although sometimes it was difficult, Remus was glad he had been able to maintain their friendship without things getting weird.
Until last night.
Had Sirius really wanted him or was it the booze talking? Remus leaned over and splashed water on his face then rinsed out his mouth before straightening determinedly.
‘There’s only one way to find out.’
He grabbed a towel from the pile of dirty clothes on the floor and wiped his face before he wrapped it around his hips. Steeling himself, he walked back into the bedroom, marching straight over to the bed where a still-despondent looking Sirius was sitting.
‘Here, Pads.’
He handed Sirius the hangover potion and the other man looked up, smiling gratefully before pouring it down his throat. Remus tried to keep his eyes averted from what lay between Sirius' legs - a difficult task… Sirius was very impressive. Remus own cock made a valiant attempt to come to life and, given he was every bit as naked as Sirius was under the very thin towel, Remus quickly moved to sit next to his friend on the edge of the bed.
‘Padfoot…last night…’
‘It’s alright. Nothing happened. You… passed out.’
‘I… really? I’m sorry…’
‘Don’t.’
There was a moment of quiet then Remus asked, ‘So I told you…?’
‘That you're gay? Yeah…’
Remus caught the resentful tone and winced.‘That’s not how I wanted you to find out…’
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
Remus looked over at his friend and couldn’t help his smile.
‘What?’ asked Sirius defensively.
‘I never thought we’d have this discussion sitting in your bed naked after we spent a good part of the night making out.’
Sirius let out a huff of amusement then he sighed loudly, scrubbing at his stubbled face before he queried, ‘Do… do you remember anything else about what was said last night?’
Remus licked at his dry lips and swallowed before answering. ‘You mean the part where you said you wanted me?’
‘You remember that?’ Sirius closed his eyes. 'Fuck.'
‘No we didn’t,' said Remus softly. 'Unfortunately.’
Sirius’ head snapped around sharply, frowning at Remus who took a deep, confidence-boosting breath and hoped he wasn't about to ruin the one thing he treasured above everything else - his friendship with Sirius.
‘I’m just going to get this out and… you can do with it what you will. Act on it, forget it, hit me…’
‘Remus…’
Remus nodded and heaved a sigh.‘Okay. I... I knew I was gay in Fifth Year. I realised when I couldn’t stop thinking about you, fantasising about you. I… have only ever been with one man - Gideon - and we broke up because I couldn’t get you out of my fucking head.’
Sirius gaped at him and Remus summoned the last of his courage - he’d come this far.
‘I… I love you, Sirius,' he whispered haltingly. 'I’m in love with you. I have been since I was fifteen and… I’m tired. Tired of hiding it, tired of pretending to be something I’m not, tired of lying. I know this is going to… change us - that’s why I’ve never said anything before - but I hope - Merlin, I’m praying with everything in me - that this isn’t the end of us.’
‘Remus, I…’
‘I know you aren’t gay,' Remus interrrupted. 'It took some time, but I came to terms with the fact my feelings won’t be requited and I'm okay with it. I just don't want this to fuck up our friendship…’
‘Gods, Remus! Do you ever shut up?’
Sirius’ words had the desired effect, Remus clamping his mouth shut. His eyes clenched tightly shut, fighting the frightened tears that had risen. Sirius hated him. He was disgusted in him. He was… kissing him?
Remus turned his head and the lips that had been trailing their way across his cheekbone immediately covered his own. His words were muffled against an insistent mouth as he stammered, ‘P… Pads…?’
‘Shut up, Moony.’
He did, allowing Sirius to take the lead for a few moments, needing to make sure the other man was truly serious about this, then with a little moan, Remus kissed him back.
*
Sirius groaned when Remus’ tongue stroked over his lips and he met it with his own. Fingers sank into his hair and Sirius shifted, trying to get closer, to get inside Remus. The other man's tongue stroked over his, and Sirius moaned as Remus' soft, insistent muscle tasted every crevasse of his mouth.
Where the hell did he learn to kiss like this?
Sirius raised his hands to Remus' face, thumbs stroking over the rough, prickly jaw and his chest tightened. He was doing this. He was really kissing Remus and Remus was kissing him back. Remus was in love with him...
Comprehension finally hit that he was getting everything he'd been wanting so desperately for so long and suddenly, Sirius felt like crying. To cover his desire to burst into tears like a fucking woman, he firmed his lips against Remus' and kissed him like he'd never kissed anyone before, putting his whole self into it and, as he did, realised that he was handing his heart over to the other man.
That he'd handed it over a long time ago.
They fell back onto the bed and the change in position seemed to allow some pesky reason to sneak back into Remus’ mind.
‘Wait! Wait, Sirius…’
Remus turned his head to the side, breaking the kiss and Sirius lifted his head. ‘Haven’t we wasted enough bloody time, Remus?’
Remus stared at him and Sirius could see the battle raging in those blue eyes. He could see how torn Remus was: he wanted this as badly as Sirius did, but his bloody morals kept getting in the way. Sirius pushed the light-brown hair out of Remus' face, keeping eye contact as he tried to explain just how much he needed this. Remus had opened up to him. The least he could do was reciprocate with a bit of honesty himself.
‘Remus, I want this. I… want you. I have for so long that it’s slightly pathetic - Sirius Black mooning after another bloke - but I could never have said anything. Not when I thought there was no way you could want me back, but last night when you told me you liked blokes…’
Remus opened his mouth, but Sirius put his hand over his mouth lightly, pressing his groin into the other man’s. Remus groaned as their half-hard cocks rubbed together through the towelling cloth around his waist.
Sirius smiled.‘Can’t you feel how much I want this, how much I need this? I… I never thought that this could be more than desire, more than lust, but… it’s been three years, Moony. Who lusts after someone who is not returning their feelings for so long unless…’
He gulped a little, struggling with the knowledge that this is what his heart had been trying to tell him all along.
‘…unless it’s something else?’
Remus drew in a sharp breath and his eyes widened. His lips were trembling when he spoke.
‘We shouldn’t do this now. We should talk about…’
‘Remus, we could be killed on our next mission,' Sirius said impatiently. 'Every time I go away, I try and convince myself that I should tell you how I feel in case it's the last time I get the chance, but I always chicken out. Some bloody Gryffindor I am, huh?’
‘So, shag today for tomorrow we die?’ Remus said with a raised eyebrow.
Sirius frowned and touched Remus face softly, tenderly. ‘If I’d had the courage to tell you how I felt years ago, we could have had so much time together already. I don’t want to waste anymore time, Remus, not when we are so close to getting what we both want.’
Remus saw the sincerity in Sirius’ face and his objections melted away. 'Neither do I.’
Their lips met softly this time, lips caressing gently before tongues slipped tentatively into each other’s mouths, tasting and stroking with growing assurance. Hands touched reverently, exploring the textures of each others' hair, each others’ face - soft and smooth and rough and prickly combining to provide a heady sensory experience that drove their desire higher until they both needed more.
Remus could feel Sirius’ uncertainty about how to take this further, his hesitancy to take the lead and he twisted, rolling them so he hovered over the other man. He forced his lips off Sirius’, reluctant to break the contact, but needing permission to keep going.
A flash of panic reflected in Sirius' eyes. 'Remus, no,' he said, holding onto Remus' shoulders to stop him pulling away. 'Don't stop. I want... I want you to fuck me.'
Remus leaned in and kissed Sirius - quick but sweet. 'I'm not stopping,' he said softly, cupping Sirius' face. 'And I don't want to fuck you. I want to make love to you. I want to be the one to show you that there's a difference.'
Sirius could barely breathe - excitement, anticipation and lust combining to tighten his chest almost painfully, so he just nodded and reached for his friend who was about to become his lover.
‘Show me.’
TBC...