Night Maneuvers
TITLE: Night Maneuvers
AUTHOR: Lady Sirius
PAIRING: SB/RL
RATING: NC17
FEEDBACK: Of course all rights to Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling
- I would claim Sirius if I could (but alas this is not meant to be!)
DEDICATION: To my glorious, talented, wondrous and everlastingly sexy
inspiration - Gary Oldman.
TITLE: Night Maneuvers
AUTHOR: Lady Sirius
PAIRING: SB/RL
RATING: NC17
FEEDBACK: Of course all rights to Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling
- I would claim Sirius if I could (but alas this is not meant to be!)
DEDICATION: To my glorious, talented, wondrous and everlastingly sexy
inspiration - Gary Oldman.
a/n: The lyrics belong to Duran, Duran - Hungry Like the Wolf.
In touch with the ground
I’m on the hunt I’m after you
Fiercely feral - heady with the intoxicating scent of the chase, the smell of the sport - soft pads thudding firmly against the ground in an aboriginal drumbeat which knows no written form, but rather is encapsulated in the musculature of the swiftly moving loup garou as he races through the night - if wolves could be said to laugh, this one would have thrown his golden head back and howled with the sheer delight, the exhilerating freedom of this moonlight romp. This is the sort of freedom only enjoyed when the selenic orb which graces the night is at the pinnacle of her power - lustrous and full, drawing upon the surface of her stronger cohort in a way which only she can employ - beckoning to its inhabitants to shed their earthly inhibitions and return to their primitive forms once more. This is the time of the wolf.
Comes now the canine - the prey - the hunted one - pounding the earth in the rhythm of his signature lope, graceful in its very awkwardness, so very familiar and recognizable to the lycan which seeks him, for this is his mate, his better half - the one that he longs to possess with every fibre of his being - to claim with his entire heart and soul, to own and to be owned by. The scent of the dog washes through his nostrils - the sensitive nose of the wolf alive to every nuance, every shade of that intoxicating muskiness, painfully aware of who and what lies beneath the shaggy outer layer of what appears to the world as a large black dog - a grim to some, a familiar of the dark one - his own Padfoot. The dog surges through the undergrowth, baying at the splendored orb above him, for he knows no fear, being reckless by nature, and given to howling at moments when silence would serve him much better.
The wolf waits with bated breath, his senses tingling, every nerve alive to the power of this other creature - for sooner or later he will cross his path, and the moment of victory will be at hand... Abruptly, the wolf cocks his well-shaped head, his ears alert, for he has sensed something - another presence - and it disturbs him. Who or what is this, and what does it portend? He sniffs the air cautiously, seeking a trace of the intruder - but can detect nothing. He growls deep within his throat, a warning to this other being that the dog is his, and not to be touched. His sinewy muscles tense in anticipation, for although he appears to be a pacifist by nature, the wolf is not one to shy from a fight, especially not where the dog is concerned. He draws back onto his haunches, ready to spring if need be, teeth bared, golden eyes glowing with the warmth of his protective nature...
...Remus Lupin awoke with a start, catching himself before he could launch himself from his bed. This was not the first time he had had this dream, nor did he expect it to be the last. Each time he has experienced it, it seemed to go a little farther than the time before. And the presence of the intruder was a new touch, albeit not one that he approved of.
A soft sound drew his attention, a muffled moan. He glanced with concern at the next bed, where lay the object of his nocturnal desires. Sirius Black had carelessly drawn his bedcurtains the night before, so that Remus had no problem seeing the beautiful boy within. His back was arched into an unnaturally stiff posture, and he tossed his head back and forth as if in protest, the silky black curls flying akimbo across his pillow. Remus' tender heart ached for him - Sirius was often plagued with dreams about his family life - at best it could be considered unpleasant, while Remus suspected that there was far more to the story than his friend had ever revealed. Swiftly he moved to his side to protect him, touching his arm softly to bring him back from the somnolent trauma. "Sirius, Sirius," he called softly.
Sirius awoke with a lurch, sitting bolt upright so suddenly that he caught Remus unawares as he latched onto the tawny-haired boy and held on for dear life, his heart beating against his ribcage like a trapped bird struggling to be free, his breath coming in ragged gasps, warm bursts of air that sent shivers up and down Remus' spinal column, setting the nerve endings ablaze with repressed desire. Remus bit back the urge to stroke that raven hair, to soothe away those fears and lay them to rest forever. He contented himself with patting the shaking arm, and making soothing noises, resisting the urge to kiss those fraughtfilled lips, cover them with his own, and make the rest of the world go away save for them.
All too soon, Sirius came back to a sense of his surroundings, pulled back from the inadvertent stranglehold he had placed upon his friend - not just a friend, but his best friend in the world. One that he loved and cherished above all others, whose image filled his every waking thought, whose companionship he sought at every turn, whose presence filled his very soul with the most incredible lightness of being which made his heart take flight each and every time he saw him, and for whom he would gladly suffer the fires of hell to be with - but whom he was afraid to tell these things, fearful of losing him if his hitherto submerged nature were revealed, fearful of the incredulous look which would greet him, the coldness, the disbelief, the disdain followed by the rejection - no, better to suffer this incredible pain in silence than to lose the one person who meant more to him than life itself. A rosy blush suffused his alabaster cheeks, and if it were up to him, he'd be content to stay where he was, safe and secure within the confines of Remus' arms, but he could not, and would not, put his friend into the position of having to push him away, so he self-exiled himself with his own actions. "Sorry, Remy," he said softly.
Remus swallowed his deep sigh of disappointment. Of course Sirius hadn't mean to touch him like that - he never did - and yet for some reason he spent a lot of time doing just that. But Remus knew that it meant nothing - much as he wished that it did. Much as he longed to simply take the young wizard into his arms, their lips coming together in mutual adoration, in fulfillment of everyday's most quiet need. But he contented himself with mumbling, "'Sokay, Sirius, you all right?" and when the other boy nodded, Remus moved back to the shelter of his own bed, wanting to hide the condition which Sirius' touch invariably brought about - no less stimulating than the scent of him as he clung so desperately to Remus, he smelled of rebellion and raw desire, an inextinguishable flame of pure kinetic energy wrapped about an inner core of wondrous innocence which no else but Remus ever saw - for this was not the prankster, the mischiefmaking hellbent youth who rivalled Till Eulenspiegel for his exploits - this was a heart which longed to be loved, caring, sweet and inexpressibly tender - and Remus felt privileged to be allowed to see him as he really was. Damn, he thought to himself with some bitterness, as he turned from his one true love, why was life such a bitch?
Scent and a sound, I'm lost and I'm found
And I'm hungry like the wolf
Padfoot has now been sighted - a visual sighting which enflames the wolf's senses to fever pitch. He follows the dog stealthily, steadily, his amber eyes catching and reflecting the ethereal rays of the Lady Selene in their golden depths, for although the wolf is always within, his power is never quite as strong as in these moments of lunar unruhe - for only then can he break free from the human bonds which contain him and procure his complete and utter freedom for this one night. And what the wolf wants, he wants badly, determined to have at any price.
The presence of the stranger is stronger now - the wolf is alert for any signs that would indicate that he is near - although his attention is focussed on the dog, he remains aware at all times of his surroundings. It is only a matter of time until he makes his move, this the wolf knows...
...Remus had an inner sense of Sirius, an awareness of the other boy that transcended understanding - he was so attuned to him that he even seemed to know without being told when he was up to no good, and with Sirius that seemed to be a constant thing. Remus felt his presence even now as he made his way into the teacher's quarters of the castle on an errand of his own, and it didn't take a great leap of faith to know where his friend was headed, the only question being why.
Coming around the corner of the corridor which led to Ian Todd's rooms, he saw Sirius standing just outside the teacher's door, using a picklocking charm to gain entrance. Remus sighed at the sight, knowing that Sirius completely and utterly despised their DADA teacher, even though he didn't know why. But ever since the first day of class, Sirius had hated him totally - and it tore Remus apart, as Professor Todd had become a good friend to him, a sympathetic listener, one of the few who knew and did not judge him for the condition for which he was not to blame. One that he could actually talk to about his feelings for Sirius. If he didn't know better, he would swear that Sirius was jealous of the older man, but common sense dictated that this could not be. Using the stealth of the wolf, he stole up behind Sirius and before the other boy became aware of his presence, he laid a firm hand on his arm.
"Sirius, what are you up to?" he asked softly.
Sirius started at the sudden touch - he had been concentrating too hard on what he was doing, otherwise he would have been more than aware of Remus' presence. "Remy, what do you mean, what am I up to?" he asked, giving his friend a totally guileless, totally enchanting look - the dark lashes which framed those midnight blue eyes to perfection fluttering just enough to send butterflies careening about the lycanthrope's stomach. From the pocket of his robe, he produced a rolled parchment. "I was wanting to slip this in with our homework assignments before he realizes that I'm late with mine."
"Sirius!" Remus gave him a piercing look which destroyed any illusion that he was capable of believing Sirius' tale. "That may be your cover story, but what are you really doing here?"
Sirius smiled, even as he pushed open the door to Todd's room, having finished his lockpicking charm, and he looked just like a spoiled little boy who has been caught with his hand in the cookie jar but doesn't even care because he knows he will get away with it. He entered the room without replying, and Remus followed him in, as he knew he would. Sirius closed the door behind them both, glancing around the unfamiliar rooms, getting his bearings before he decided what he wanted to do, one hand clasped in his pocket, fingering the objects which he had brought here for a reason.
Remus thrust his own hand in, meeting Sirius' in the cloth covered hiding place, and he knew what he was feeling there. He shook his head at the very childishness of the gesture. "Don't you dare place any of those dungbombs in here!" he warned him, "I mean it! I'll report you, Sirius, and you really don't want me to do that, now do you?"
Sirius scowled at his friend's words, and his prefecty tone. Just knowing that Remus had come here, probably with the intention of talking to the professor who pretended to be his friend, set his hackles on edge, letting loose the green-eyed monster which dwelled within him wherever Remus was concerned. He had filled page after page of parchment with terribly graphic illustrations of the various methods he had devised for torturing the DADA teacher - the architects of the Spanish Inquisition would have been proud to enlist him for their dark cause without a doubt, for his imagination had truly become quite sadistic. He closed his hand about his friend's, feeling his pulse skip a beat or two. "Remy!" he whined.
"No, I'm serious. I don't know why you have to act that way toward Ian, when he's never done anything to you," Remus continued, ignoring the warmth of the hand that was sending flames licking up his arm
"I-an," Sirius mocked him, raising his normally baritone voice a couple of octaves, hating the very taste of the man's name on his lips.
Remus growled at his friend's tone. "Sirius, I don't intend to stand here and argue about Ian, especially not here in his rooms, and furthermore..." But he got no further with what he intended to say, as they both became aware of the sound of voices drawing close to the door. They looked at one another as if to say what now, and without thinking hard, Remus pushed Sirius toward the wooden closet which stood at the side of the room. "Quickly, get in there!" he hissed, pushing him into it without giving him time to react, climbing in after him and closing the door behind them both.
They could hear the chamber door being opened, and the sound of the DADA teacher's voice. "Come on in, Elizabeth, I'll make us some tea," followed by a female voice which they recognized as belonging to the Muggle Studies teacher, Professor Higgins. "Thank you, I'd like that," she replied, and the two voices grew stronger as they stepped further into the room.
Remus became painfully aware of his promixity to Sirius in that small dark closet, as he was pressed up against the other boy's backside. But there was no room to maneuver in here, not without serious jeopardy of being heard, and this they could not risk. His sensitive nose was being inundated with the scents that were Sirius, and he was at serious risk for having a sensory overload right then and there. In order to keep his balance in the small space,he was forced to put his hands on the other wizard's hips, and it was all he could do to keep the wolf from taking over and claiming what he felt was his. He closed his eyes and inhaled, knowing that he could not be seen, drinking in everything that was Sirius, every nuance, every shade of the boy that he loved, even as he knew the effect that this closeness was having on his body, praying that Sirius could not feel his erection, even though it would be hard not to, as it must be digging into the small of his muscled back.
Sirius, once he got over the initial surprise of almost being caught by the hated one, was trembling inside, and if it weren't for Remus' firm hands on his hips, surely his knees would collapse of their own accord, taking him with them. Dammit, why did he have to be so damn desireable? Why did his very touch send hot and cold shivers racing through his very being, electric sensations that coursed through his soul and centered in the end on his painfully hard cock? He struggled to keep from moaning at what he perceived to be pressed against him. It took all his self-control not to turn around and seek those glorious lips, to run his tongue over them and then to seek entrance into that beautiful mouth. He shifted his weight a little bit, which brought a hissed warning from Remus to not move. He held his breath, wondering what the hell they were going to do now. He wished now that he had thought to bring James' invisibility cloak, but it did him no good to think that way. What was done was done.
The torture of their enforced proximity was exquisite. Minutes seemed like hours and it was hard to not do things which would draw attention to themselves - coughing, sneezing, moving...At the same time, Sirius wanted to feel Remus against him for as long as possible, pretend that he was his, and that they were together as he spun fantasy scenarios about in his mind, not a few of which involved grappling naked together in bed. It seemed like the two teachers took forever to have a simple cup of tea, nattering about nothing in particular - and the sound of Ian's voice was enough to cause Sirius to growl when he heard it, earning a warning pinch from Remus. He was finding it hard not to lean back against the other boy, and his hands slid over Remus' against his hips. He felt Remus shiver in response, and he tried to hastily straighten himself out, which only made things worse.
Just when he thought that they would surely be caught, he heard the DADA professor offer to walk Professor Higgins to her rooms on his way to the owlery, and her warm acquiescence, and shortly thereafter the opening and closing of the door. Sirius breathed a huge sigh of relief, only to find himself being drug unceremoniously out of the closet by his friend.
"That was just too close," Remus muttered angrily, though mostly he was angry because he had actually enjoyed being so close to Sirius like that and wouldn't have minded prolonging the situation. Which of course Sirius obviously didn't want. His mind ran tiredly in a Sisyphusean treadmill. "C'mon, let's get the hell out of here."
Sirius winced - he knew that Remus was really upset, since he never talked like that normally. He made no protest as he let himself be dragged toward the door. Remus took a cautious look into the hallway, and then pulled Sirius out after him as there was no sign of anyone. He paused for just a moment, his amber eyes blazing as he looked at Sirius. "Please don't do anything like this again, okay?" he pleaded softly. Sirius swayed toward him, hypnotized, and for a just a moment they stood there - mesmerized, their eyes meeting in a mutual trance. Which was broken by the yowling of Mrs. Norris, whom they were horrified to see running toward them. That usually meant that Filch was somewhere in the vicinity. Remus wasted no time. He grabbed Sirius' hand and dragged him in the opposite direction and out of harm's way. And not another word was exchanged between them that night, at least nothing of any significance.
Stalked in the forest, too close to hide
I'll be upon you by the moonlight side
The wolf and the dog race in tandem now - side by side neath the pearlescent moon which watches over them, a celestial duenna. The lycan measures his pace to the canine's, whom he could easily outstrip. But he is content to match him stride for stride, as they stretch their young muscles in mindless ecstasy, reveling in the physicality of their movements. Up ahead of them, a fallen tree lies directly perpendicular to their path. Effortlessly, the wolf takes a flying leap across it, watching as the dog follows suit - except that he does not emerge on the other side. Rotating in a graceful arc, the wolf looks behind him - Padfoot is nowhere to be seen. He raises his muzzle into the air, seeking his scent, as he begins to howl in frustration...
...Sirius wasn't in the Gryffindor common room at night any more. Remus was painfully aware of his absence, even as he assiduously attended to his studying, burying his nose in volume after volume of forgotten lore, searching for the answers to his questions, seeking to expand his knowledge - and working toward taking his O.W.L.s. He was determined to do his very best, of course - it was intrinsic to his nature. Yet at the same time he could not keep his mind from wandering agitatedly toward his missing friend, and the reason that he had absented himself - Sirius seemed determined to set a record for dating the greatest number of girls at Hogwarts within the shortest period of time, as if there were some sort of prize associated with this pseudo-romantic enterprise.
Not that Remus could blame him of course, or the girls that flocked to his siren call - the dark haired wizard was, in his fifteenth year, incredibly sexy - raven tresses which carried the secret of the night in their velvet curls, midnight blue eyes framed by the silkiest of black lashes, and the most sensual mouth he had ever seen, pouty bow-lips that just begged to be kissed. And how Remus longed to kiss them, to devour them, meet them with his own - to claim them in every way that he could, and make them his. But he had become spoiled with Sirius always being there, whether he acted like it or not. Even when he seemed to be annoyed with the constant touching that drove him wild, and which he knew didn't mean a thing - the absence of it was even worse.
Frustrated, Remus slammed his book shut in uncharacteristic fashion, startling the other inhabitants of the room with the vehemence of his actions. "Something wrong, Remus?" James asked with concern, looking up from the piece of parchment which contained but a single name written over and over and over in mindless repetition - Lily.
"No!" Remus growled, immediately regretting his terseness.
James glanced about the room, seemed to make some sort of cosmic connection - except for his own feelings about Lily, he was a very astute young wizard. "Where's Sirius?" he asked softly.
"How the hell should I know?" Remus leapt up, his words sounding very defensive.
"Just asking, Remus, no reason to get bent out of shape," James responded with a slight snicker, as if he found the exchange to be amusing. "Why don't you go look for him?"
"Why should I?" Remus demanded, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.
"No reason," James replied sarcastically. 'Other than to get that bug out of your ass', he mumbled under his breath.
Remus flushed - his lycanthropic hearing was very acute. But rather than to respond to this, he gathered up his books, leaving them in a neat pile to be collected later, and swept grandly from the room, as if he hadn't heard, as if he were leaving for some other purpose. James grinned after him, wondering when the hell his friend would admit to his attraction to the handsome Sirius Black. Or for that matter, when would Sirius tell Remus that the attraction was mutual? He shook his head and returned to his doodling - Lily, Lily, and again Lily.
Remus knew where to find Sirius of course - his friend seemed to have one place that he took all his dates - the roof of the Astronomy Tower - and much as he longed to go there and seek him out, he had no desire to watch him snog his latest chippie. So he stalked about the castle grounds in complete frustration, trying to hide an ache in his heart that refused to go away.
Why not tell Sirius how he felt about him, at least give him a chance to respond, see what he had to say? No, his other side, his logical side, argued. Sirius is strictly heterosexual - see Sirius? See Sirius date? See Sirius date girls? How can you even remotely think he might possibly be interested in another boy, much less one who is a freak of nature. But if you don't ask, you'll never know for sure, the first side countered - this was the part of Remus which adored Sirius and yearned for him. And if I don't ask him, then I'll never have to be hurt when he laughs at me, said the side that was fearful of the truth, afraid of losing Sirius forever.
Stalemate, he sighed. Looking around, he found himself standing beneath the Astronomy Tower - somehow, without intending to, he had subconsciously directed his steps there. He glanced up, against his will, saw two silhouettes outlined with heartbreaking clarity against the night sky, and not surprisingly, they appeared to be kissing. A sharp pain went from his eyes straight to the middle of his heart, where it took up residence. Mine! the wolf growled possessively, and it was all Remus could do to quiet the beast within, his eyes stinging from the warmth of the tears which prickled them.
High blood drumming on your skin it's so tight
You feel my heart, I'm just a moment behind
The eyes of the wolf glitter, golden pools of ominous fury, as he looks for the object of his hatred - that other presence which he senses is responsible for the loss of the dog. For his mate, if truth be told, whether acknowledged or not by either one of them. The wolf knows it is so, and for a moment he loses himself in a mournful howl which vibrates through this forest primeval, shattering the stillness of this placid quietude.
And then he pauses - a prickling sensation has begun at the back of his neck which becomes a growing awareness of the hated presence. But this time it seems more tangible, almost palpable. The wolf takes stock of the situation, his nostrils flaring as he detects the canine's scent once more, and begins to follow it, even as he hears the voice - it echoes mockingly in his ears.
"Choices, decisions - what separates us from the beasts of the field - the ability to think, to reason, to feel. The heart is more than an organ for pumping blood - it houses the soul wherein love lies. But it chooses not whom it loves - that decision is made by wiser heads, and is instilled within us in a coded form that cannot be deciphered until we make contact with that person, until destiny brings us together. Then ours not to question why, or who - ours merely to complete the circuit through which the love will flow in a never-ending relay."
The wolf continues to follow the olfactory trail of his mate, until the forest comes to an end, and the path disappears completely. He finds himself in an empty circular room with two doors. No other methods of ingress or egress. The wolf does not like this, and begins to pace angrily about the room. The scent of the dog is strong now, and the wolf is becoming agitated at his inability to find him. The silence of the room is broken by a sharp bark. The wolf responds with one of his own, but he cannot tell where the dog's voice is coming from.
"Comes now the time for choosing," the placid voice continues. "You see before you two doors - you must choose one of these. Each one leads to a different path - one way is the safe route, the sheltered way, where nothing happens, nothing changes - nothing ventured, as the saying goes. There is no risk, no uncertainty here - and no chance of love, either. The other way leads to the unknown - where nothing is guaranteed, nothing is certain, but the reward for following this path can be bliss beyond compare. Only you can decide which path you will take, and you must listen only to your own counsel. Once you have chosen, touch the door you wish to open and it shall admit you. Choose wisely, young wolf." And as suddenly as it has come, the presence is gone.
The wolf throws back its tawny head and howls, receiving an answering yip in return. He paws at the walls, attempting to reach the dog, but to no avail. He contemplates both the doors, before finally moving toward one, and placing his paw against it...
Strut on a line, it's discord and rhyme
I'm on the hunt I'm after you
Mouth is alive with juices like wine
And I'm hungry like the wolf
...Sirius walked back from the Astronomy Tower alone, his date du jour having gone her own way after he had taken her up to look at the stars and given her the obligatory snog. He had already forgotten her name. His mind and his heart dwelt on Remus as he walked, he wondered what his friend was doing and he wished that whatever it was, he was doing it too.
On an impulse, he turned his steps toward the quidditch pitch - his refuge in times of trouble - unaware that he was being followed by the object of his desires. He walked onto the pitch, reaching into his pocket for the packet of fags he had stashed there. But before he could even pull it out, he found a firm hand holding his wrist, and he looked up to find himself eye to eye with a wild-looking Remus Lupin.
"Remy, you scared me!" he laughed, waiting for the other boy to relax his grip so that he could finish what he had begun. But there was something in the other boy's eyes, something feral and alive - a liquid quality, like molten lava threatening to erupt. "Remy, what is it?" he asked, even as his pulse began to skyrocket.
Remus Lupin took a deep breath and, without a word, he pulled Sirius toward him and kissed him - truly, madly and deeply kissed him - his lips sampling the texture of Sirius' lips as a silk merchant tests the quality of a sample of silk, with great finesse and dexterous handling. He didn't stop to question what he was doing, he just did it - taking the chance that he would bare minimum be punched for his outrageous behaviour, or worst case scenario lose his best friend in the bargain. But life was about chances, wasn't it? If something was worth having, it was worth risking something for - and he felt that Sirius Black was definitely worth having.
To say that Sirius was surprised would be an understatement. He was very surprised at what Remus was doing. Was he displeased? In no way. At first he thought he must be dreaming - had he fallen asleep there on the quidditch pitch so quickly? But no, this was really Remus here, with his arms around him, kissing him within an inch of his life - and he tasted the love that was Remus, and he claimed it for his own, his lips seeming to part of their own volition, without exchanging a single word.
In time, both boys came up for air, panting heavily, topaz eyes gazing into sapphire eyes - looking to one another for some sort of response.
"Bellissima," Remus murmured, running one slender hand across the beautiful pale cheek before him. Sirius grasped that hand, turned it over and kissed the palm gently.
"Mine!" the wolf growled softly, and his mate responded, "Yes, yours."
Without exchanging explicit words of love, they came together once more, completing the circuit, as the love flowed between them, a love that transcended everything and everyone and which could never be torn asunder. There would be time later for explanations and confessions. For promises and vows. For now they were together, and that's all that really mattered.
AUTHOR: Lady Sirius
PAIRING: SB/RL
RATING: NC17
FEEDBACK: Of course all rights to Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling
- I would claim Sirius if I could (but alas this is not meant to be!)
DEDICATION: To my glorious, talented, wondrous and everlastingly sexy
inspiration - Gary Oldman.
TITLE: Night Maneuvers
AUTHOR: Lady Sirius
PAIRING: SB/RL
RATING: NC17
FEEDBACK: Of course all rights to Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling
- I would claim Sirius if I could (but alas this is not meant to be!)
DEDICATION: To my glorious, talented, wondrous and everlastingly sexy
inspiration - Gary Oldman.
a/n: The lyrics belong to Duran, Duran - Hungry Like the Wolf.
In touch with the ground
I’m on the hunt I’m after you
Fiercely feral - heady with the intoxicating scent of the chase, the smell of the sport - soft pads thudding firmly against the ground in an aboriginal drumbeat which knows no written form, but rather is encapsulated in the musculature of the swiftly moving loup garou as he races through the night - if wolves could be said to laugh, this one would have thrown his golden head back and howled with the sheer delight, the exhilerating freedom of this moonlight romp. This is the sort of freedom only enjoyed when the selenic orb which graces the night is at the pinnacle of her power - lustrous and full, drawing upon the surface of her stronger cohort in a way which only she can employ - beckoning to its inhabitants to shed their earthly inhibitions and return to their primitive forms once more. This is the time of the wolf.
Comes now the canine - the prey - the hunted one - pounding the earth in the rhythm of his signature lope, graceful in its very awkwardness, so very familiar and recognizable to the lycan which seeks him, for this is his mate, his better half - the one that he longs to possess with every fibre of his being - to claim with his entire heart and soul, to own and to be owned by. The scent of the dog washes through his nostrils - the sensitive nose of the wolf alive to every nuance, every shade of that intoxicating muskiness, painfully aware of who and what lies beneath the shaggy outer layer of what appears to the world as a large black dog - a grim to some, a familiar of the dark one - his own Padfoot. The dog surges through the undergrowth, baying at the splendored orb above him, for he knows no fear, being reckless by nature, and given to howling at moments when silence would serve him much better.
The wolf waits with bated breath, his senses tingling, every nerve alive to the power of this other creature - for sooner or later he will cross his path, and the moment of victory will be at hand... Abruptly, the wolf cocks his well-shaped head, his ears alert, for he has sensed something - another presence - and it disturbs him. Who or what is this, and what does it portend? He sniffs the air cautiously, seeking a trace of the intruder - but can detect nothing. He growls deep within his throat, a warning to this other being that the dog is his, and not to be touched. His sinewy muscles tense in anticipation, for although he appears to be a pacifist by nature, the wolf is not one to shy from a fight, especially not where the dog is concerned. He draws back onto his haunches, ready to spring if need be, teeth bared, golden eyes glowing with the warmth of his protective nature...
...Remus Lupin awoke with a start, catching himself before he could launch himself from his bed. This was not the first time he had had this dream, nor did he expect it to be the last. Each time he has experienced it, it seemed to go a little farther than the time before. And the presence of the intruder was a new touch, albeit not one that he approved of.
A soft sound drew his attention, a muffled moan. He glanced with concern at the next bed, where lay the object of his nocturnal desires. Sirius Black had carelessly drawn his bedcurtains the night before, so that Remus had no problem seeing the beautiful boy within. His back was arched into an unnaturally stiff posture, and he tossed his head back and forth as if in protest, the silky black curls flying akimbo across his pillow. Remus' tender heart ached for him - Sirius was often plagued with dreams about his family life - at best it could be considered unpleasant, while Remus suspected that there was far more to the story than his friend had ever revealed. Swiftly he moved to his side to protect him, touching his arm softly to bring him back from the somnolent trauma. "Sirius, Sirius," he called softly.
Sirius awoke with a lurch, sitting bolt upright so suddenly that he caught Remus unawares as he latched onto the tawny-haired boy and held on for dear life, his heart beating against his ribcage like a trapped bird struggling to be free, his breath coming in ragged gasps, warm bursts of air that sent shivers up and down Remus' spinal column, setting the nerve endings ablaze with repressed desire. Remus bit back the urge to stroke that raven hair, to soothe away those fears and lay them to rest forever. He contented himself with patting the shaking arm, and making soothing noises, resisting the urge to kiss those fraughtfilled lips, cover them with his own, and make the rest of the world go away save for them.
All too soon, Sirius came back to a sense of his surroundings, pulled back from the inadvertent stranglehold he had placed upon his friend - not just a friend, but his best friend in the world. One that he loved and cherished above all others, whose image filled his every waking thought, whose companionship he sought at every turn, whose presence filled his very soul with the most incredible lightness of being which made his heart take flight each and every time he saw him, and for whom he would gladly suffer the fires of hell to be with - but whom he was afraid to tell these things, fearful of losing him if his hitherto submerged nature were revealed, fearful of the incredulous look which would greet him, the coldness, the disbelief, the disdain followed by the rejection - no, better to suffer this incredible pain in silence than to lose the one person who meant more to him than life itself. A rosy blush suffused his alabaster cheeks, and if it were up to him, he'd be content to stay where he was, safe and secure within the confines of Remus' arms, but he could not, and would not, put his friend into the position of having to push him away, so he self-exiled himself with his own actions. "Sorry, Remy," he said softly.
Remus swallowed his deep sigh of disappointment. Of course Sirius hadn't mean to touch him like that - he never did - and yet for some reason he spent a lot of time doing just that. But Remus knew that it meant nothing - much as he wished that it did. Much as he longed to simply take the young wizard into his arms, their lips coming together in mutual adoration, in fulfillment of everyday's most quiet need. But he contented himself with mumbling, "'Sokay, Sirius, you all right?" and when the other boy nodded, Remus moved back to the shelter of his own bed, wanting to hide the condition which Sirius' touch invariably brought about - no less stimulating than the scent of him as he clung so desperately to Remus, he smelled of rebellion and raw desire, an inextinguishable flame of pure kinetic energy wrapped about an inner core of wondrous innocence which no else but Remus ever saw - for this was not the prankster, the mischiefmaking hellbent youth who rivalled Till Eulenspiegel for his exploits - this was a heart which longed to be loved, caring, sweet and inexpressibly tender - and Remus felt privileged to be allowed to see him as he really was. Damn, he thought to himself with some bitterness, as he turned from his one true love, why was life such a bitch?
Scent and a sound, I'm lost and I'm found
And I'm hungry like the wolf
Padfoot has now been sighted - a visual sighting which enflames the wolf's senses to fever pitch. He follows the dog stealthily, steadily, his amber eyes catching and reflecting the ethereal rays of the Lady Selene in their golden depths, for although the wolf is always within, his power is never quite as strong as in these moments of lunar unruhe - for only then can he break free from the human bonds which contain him and procure his complete and utter freedom for this one night. And what the wolf wants, he wants badly, determined to have at any price.
The presence of the stranger is stronger now - the wolf is alert for any signs that would indicate that he is near - although his attention is focussed on the dog, he remains aware at all times of his surroundings. It is only a matter of time until he makes his move, this the wolf knows...
...Remus had an inner sense of Sirius, an awareness of the other boy that transcended understanding - he was so attuned to him that he even seemed to know without being told when he was up to no good, and with Sirius that seemed to be a constant thing. Remus felt his presence even now as he made his way into the teacher's quarters of the castle on an errand of his own, and it didn't take a great leap of faith to know where his friend was headed, the only question being why.
Coming around the corner of the corridor which led to Ian Todd's rooms, he saw Sirius standing just outside the teacher's door, using a picklocking charm to gain entrance. Remus sighed at the sight, knowing that Sirius completely and utterly despised their DADA teacher, even though he didn't know why. But ever since the first day of class, Sirius had hated him totally - and it tore Remus apart, as Professor Todd had become a good friend to him, a sympathetic listener, one of the few who knew and did not judge him for the condition for which he was not to blame. One that he could actually talk to about his feelings for Sirius. If he didn't know better, he would swear that Sirius was jealous of the older man, but common sense dictated that this could not be. Using the stealth of the wolf, he stole up behind Sirius and before the other boy became aware of his presence, he laid a firm hand on his arm.
"Sirius, what are you up to?" he asked softly.
Sirius started at the sudden touch - he had been concentrating too hard on what he was doing, otherwise he would have been more than aware of Remus' presence. "Remy, what do you mean, what am I up to?" he asked, giving his friend a totally guileless, totally enchanting look - the dark lashes which framed those midnight blue eyes to perfection fluttering just enough to send butterflies careening about the lycanthrope's stomach. From the pocket of his robe, he produced a rolled parchment. "I was wanting to slip this in with our homework assignments before he realizes that I'm late with mine."
"Sirius!" Remus gave him a piercing look which destroyed any illusion that he was capable of believing Sirius' tale. "That may be your cover story, but what are you really doing here?"
Sirius smiled, even as he pushed open the door to Todd's room, having finished his lockpicking charm, and he looked just like a spoiled little boy who has been caught with his hand in the cookie jar but doesn't even care because he knows he will get away with it. He entered the room without replying, and Remus followed him in, as he knew he would. Sirius closed the door behind them both, glancing around the unfamiliar rooms, getting his bearings before he decided what he wanted to do, one hand clasped in his pocket, fingering the objects which he had brought here for a reason.
Remus thrust his own hand in, meeting Sirius' in the cloth covered hiding place, and he knew what he was feeling there. He shook his head at the very childishness of the gesture. "Don't you dare place any of those dungbombs in here!" he warned him, "I mean it! I'll report you, Sirius, and you really don't want me to do that, now do you?"
Sirius scowled at his friend's words, and his prefecty tone. Just knowing that Remus had come here, probably with the intention of talking to the professor who pretended to be his friend, set his hackles on edge, letting loose the green-eyed monster which dwelled within him wherever Remus was concerned. He had filled page after page of parchment with terribly graphic illustrations of the various methods he had devised for torturing the DADA teacher - the architects of the Spanish Inquisition would have been proud to enlist him for their dark cause without a doubt, for his imagination had truly become quite sadistic. He closed his hand about his friend's, feeling his pulse skip a beat or two. "Remy!" he whined.
"No, I'm serious. I don't know why you have to act that way toward Ian, when he's never done anything to you," Remus continued, ignoring the warmth of the hand that was sending flames licking up his arm
"I-an," Sirius mocked him, raising his normally baritone voice a couple of octaves, hating the very taste of the man's name on his lips.
Remus growled at his friend's tone. "Sirius, I don't intend to stand here and argue about Ian, especially not here in his rooms, and furthermore..." But he got no further with what he intended to say, as they both became aware of the sound of voices drawing close to the door. They looked at one another as if to say what now, and without thinking hard, Remus pushed Sirius toward the wooden closet which stood at the side of the room. "Quickly, get in there!" he hissed, pushing him into it without giving him time to react, climbing in after him and closing the door behind them both.
They could hear the chamber door being opened, and the sound of the DADA teacher's voice. "Come on in, Elizabeth, I'll make us some tea," followed by a female voice which they recognized as belonging to the Muggle Studies teacher, Professor Higgins. "Thank you, I'd like that," she replied, and the two voices grew stronger as they stepped further into the room.
Remus became painfully aware of his promixity to Sirius in that small dark closet, as he was pressed up against the other boy's backside. But there was no room to maneuver in here, not without serious jeopardy of being heard, and this they could not risk. His sensitive nose was being inundated with the scents that were Sirius, and he was at serious risk for having a sensory overload right then and there. In order to keep his balance in the small space,he was forced to put his hands on the other wizard's hips, and it was all he could do to keep the wolf from taking over and claiming what he felt was his. He closed his eyes and inhaled, knowing that he could not be seen, drinking in everything that was Sirius, every nuance, every shade of the boy that he loved, even as he knew the effect that this closeness was having on his body, praying that Sirius could not feel his erection, even though it would be hard not to, as it must be digging into the small of his muscled back.
Sirius, once he got over the initial surprise of almost being caught by the hated one, was trembling inside, and if it weren't for Remus' firm hands on his hips, surely his knees would collapse of their own accord, taking him with them. Dammit, why did he have to be so damn desireable? Why did his very touch send hot and cold shivers racing through his very being, electric sensations that coursed through his soul and centered in the end on his painfully hard cock? He struggled to keep from moaning at what he perceived to be pressed against him. It took all his self-control not to turn around and seek those glorious lips, to run his tongue over them and then to seek entrance into that beautiful mouth. He shifted his weight a little bit, which brought a hissed warning from Remus to not move. He held his breath, wondering what the hell they were going to do now. He wished now that he had thought to bring James' invisibility cloak, but it did him no good to think that way. What was done was done.
The torture of their enforced proximity was exquisite. Minutes seemed like hours and it was hard to not do things which would draw attention to themselves - coughing, sneezing, moving...At the same time, Sirius wanted to feel Remus against him for as long as possible, pretend that he was his, and that they were together as he spun fantasy scenarios about in his mind, not a few of which involved grappling naked together in bed. It seemed like the two teachers took forever to have a simple cup of tea, nattering about nothing in particular - and the sound of Ian's voice was enough to cause Sirius to growl when he heard it, earning a warning pinch from Remus. He was finding it hard not to lean back against the other boy, and his hands slid over Remus' against his hips. He felt Remus shiver in response, and he tried to hastily straighten himself out, which only made things worse.
Just when he thought that they would surely be caught, he heard the DADA professor offer to walk Professor Higgins to her rooms on his way to the owlery, and her warm acquiescence, and shortly thereafter the opening and closing of the door. Sirius breathed a huge sigh of relief, only to find himself being drug unceremoniously out of the closet by his friend.
"That was just too close," Remus muttered angrily, though mostly he was angry because he had actually enjoyed being so close to Sirius like that and wouldn't have minded prolonging the situation. Which of course Sirius obviously didn't want. His mind ran tiredly in a Sisyphusean treadmill. "C'mon, let's get the hell out of here."
Sirius winced - he knew that Remus was really upset, since he never talked like that normally. He made no protest as he let himself be dragged toward the door. Remus took a cautious look into the hallway, and then pulled Sirius out after him as there was no sign of anyone. He paused for just a moment, his amber eyes blazing as he looked at Sirius. "Please don't do anything like this again, okay?" he pleaded softly. Sirius swayed toward him, hypnotized, and for a just a moment they stood there - mesmerized, their eyes meeting in a mutual trance. Which was broken by the yowling of Mrs. Norris, whom they were horrified to see running toward them. That usually meant that Filch was somewhere in the vicinity. Remus wasted no time. He grabbed Sirius' hand and dragged him in the opposite direction and out of harm's way. And not another word was exchanged between them that night, at least nothing of any significance.
Stalked in the forest, too close to hide
I'll be upon you by the moonlight side
The wolf and the dog race in tandem now - side by side neath the pearlescent moon which watches over them, a celestial duenna. The lycan measures his pace to the canine's, whom he could easily outstrip. But he is content to match him stride for stride, as they stretch their young muscles in mindless ecstasy, reveling in the physicality of their movements. Up ahead of them, a fallen tree lies directly perpendicular to their path. Effortlessly, the wolf takes a flying leap across it, watching as the dog follows suit - except that he does not emerge on the other side. Rotating in a graceful arc, the wolf looks behind him - Padfoot is nowhere to be seen. He raises his muzzle into the air, seeking his scent, as he begins to howl in frustration...
...Sirius wasn't in the Gryffindor common room at night any more. Remus was painfully aware of his absence, even as he assiduously attended to his studying, burying his nose in volume after volume of forgotten lore, searching for the answers to his questions, seeking to expand his knowledge - and working toward taking his O.W.L.s. He was determined to do his very best, of course - it was intrinsic to his nature. Yet at the same time he could not keep his mind from wandering agitatedly toward his missing friend, and the reason that he had absented himself - Sirius seemed determined to set a record for dating the greatest number of girls at Hogwarts within the shortest period of time, as if there were some sort of prize associated with this pseudo-romantic enterprise.
Not that Remus could blame him of course, or the girls that flocked to his siren call - the dark haired wizard was, in his fifteenth year, incredibly sexy - raven tresses which carried the secret of the night in their velvet curls, midnight blue eyes framed by the silkiest of black lashes, and the most sensual mouth he had ever seen, pouty bow-lips that just begged to be kissed. And how Remus longed to kiss them, to devour them, meet them with his own - to claim them in every way that he could, and make them his. But he had become spoiled with Sirius always being there, whether he acted like it or not. Even when he seemed to be annoyed with the constant touching that drove him wild, and which he knew didn't mean a thing - the absence of it was even worse.
Frustrated, Remus slammed his book shut in uncharacteristic fashion, startling the other inhabitants of the room with the vehemence of his actions. "Something wrong, Remus?" James asked with concern, looking up from the piece of parchment which contained but a single name written over and over and over in mindless repetition - Lily.
"No!" Remus growled, immediately regretting his terseness.
James glanced about the room, seemed to make some sort of cosmic connection - except for his own feelings about Lily, he was a very astute young wizard. "Where's Sirius?" he asked softly.
"How the hell should I know?" Remus leapt up, his words sounding very defensive.
"Just asking, Remus, no reason to get bent out of shape," James responded with a slight snicker, as if he found the exchange to be amusing. "Why don't you go look for him?"
"Why should I?" Remus demanded, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.
"No reason," James replied sarcastically. 'Other than to get that bug out of your ass', he mumbled under his breath.
Remus flushed - his lycanthropic hearing was very acute. But rather than to respond to this, he gathered up his books, leaving them in a neat pile to be collected later, and swept grandly from the room, as if he hadn't heard, as if he were leaving for some other purpose. James grinned after him, wondering when the hell his friend would admit to his attraction to the handsome Sirius Black. Or for that matter, when would Sirius tell Remus that the attraction was mutual? He shook his head and returned to his doodling - Lily, Lily, and again Lily.
Remus knew where to find Sirius of course - his friend seemed to have one place that he took all his dates - the roof of the Astronomy Tower - and much as he longed to go there and seek him out, he had no desire to watch him snog his latest chippie. So he stalked about the castle grounds in complete frustration, trying to hide an ache in his heart that refused to go away.
Why not tell Sirius how he felt about him, at least give him a chance to respond, see what he had to say? No, his other side, his logical side, argued. Sirius is strictly heterosexual - see Sirius? See Sirius date? See Sirius date girls? How can you even remotely think he might possibly be interested in another boy, much less one who is a freak of nature. But if you don't ask, you'll never know for sure, the first side countered - this was the part of Remus which adored Sirius and yearned for him. And if I don't ask him, then I'll never have to be hurt when he laughs at me, said the side that was fearful of the truth, afraid of losing Sirius forever.
Stalemate, he sighed. Looking around, he found himself standing beneath the Astronomy Tower - somehow, without intending to, he had subconsciously directed his steps there. He glanced up, against his will, saw two silhouettes outlined with heartbreaking clarity against the night sky, and not surprisingly, they appeared to be kissing. A sharp pain went from his eyes straight to the middle of his heart, where it took up residence. Mine! the wolf growled possessively, and it was all Remus could do to quiet the beast within, his eyes stinging from the warmth of the tears which prickled them.
High blood drumming on your skin it's so tight
You feel my heart, I'm just a moment behind
The eyes of the wolf glitter, golden pools of ominous fury, as he looks for the object of his hatred - that other presence which he senses is responsible for the loss of the dog. For his mate, if truth be told, whether acknowledged or not by either one of them. The wolf knows it is so, and for a moment he loses himself in a mournful howl which vibrates through this forest primeval, shattering the stillness of this placid quietude.
And then he pauses - a prickling sensation has begun at the back of his neck which becomes a growing awareness of the hated presence. But this time it seems more tangible, almost palpable. The wolf takes stock of the situation, his nostrils flaring as he detects the canine's scent once more, and begins to follow it, even as he hears the voice - it echoes mockingly in his ears.
"Choices, decisions - what separates us from the beasts of the field - the ability to think, to reason, to feel. The heart is more than an organ for pumping blood - it houses the soul wherein love lies. But it chooses not whom it loves - that decision is made by wiser heads, and is instilled within us in a coded form that cannot be deciphered until we make contact with that person, until destiny brings us together. Then ours not to question why, or who - ours merely to complete the circuit through which the love will flow in a never-ending relay."
The wolf continues to follow the olfactory trail of his mate, until the forest comes to an end, and the path disappears completely. He finds himself in an empty circular room with two doors. No other methods of ingress or egress. The wolf does not like this, and begins to pace angrily about the room. The scent of the dog is strong now, and the wolf is becoming agitated at his inability to find him. The silence of the room is broken by a sharp bark. The wolf responds with one of his own, but he cannot tell where the dog's voice is coming from.
"Comes now the time for choosing," the placid voice continues. "You see before you two doors - you must choose one of these. Each one leads to a different path - one way is the safe route, the sheltered way, where nothing happens, nothing changes - nothing ventured, as the saying goes. There is no risk, no uncertainty here - and no chance of love, either. The other way leads to the unknown - where nothing is guaranteed, nothing is certain, but the reward for following this path can be bliss beyond compare. Only you can decide which path you will take, and you must listen only to your own counsel. Once you have chosen, touch the door you wish to open and it shall admit you. Choose wisely, young wolf." And as suddenly as it has come, the presence is gone.
The wolf throws back its tawny head and howls, receiving an answering yip in return. He paws at the walls, attempting to reach the dog, but to no avail. He contemplates both the doors, before finally moving toward one, and placing his paw against it...
Strut on a line, it's discord and rhyme
I'm on the hunt I'm after you
Mouth is alive with juices like wine
And I'm hungry like the wolf
...Sirius walked back from the Astronomy Tower alone, his date du jour having gone her own way after he had taken her up to look at the stars and given her the obligatory snog. He had already forgotten her name. His mind and his heart dwelt on Remus as he walked, he wondered what his friend was doing and he wished that whatever it was, he was doing it too.
On an impulse, he turned his steps toward the quidditch pitch - his refuge in times of trouble - unaware that he was being followed by the object of his desires. He walked onto the pitch, reaching into his pocket for the packet of fags he had stashed there. But before he could even pull it out, he found a firm hand holding his wrist, and he looked up to find himself eye to eye with a wild-looking Remus Lupin.
"Remy, you scared me!" he laughed, waiting for the other boy to relax his grip so that he could finish what he had begun. But there was something in the other boy's eyes, something feral and alive - a liquid quality, like molten lava threatening to erupt. "Remy, what is it?" he asked, even as his pulse began to skyrocket.
Remus Lupin took a deep breath and, without a word, he pulled Sirius toward him and kissed him - truly, madly and deeply kissed him - his lips sampling the texture of Sirius' lips as a silk merchant tests the quality of a sample of silk, with great finesse and dexterous handling. He didn't stop to question what he was doing, he just did it - taking the chance that he would bare minimum be punched for his outrageous behaviour, or worst case scenario lose his best friend in the bargain. But life was about chances, wasn't it? If something was worth having, it was worth risking something for - and he felt that Sirius Black was definitely worth having.
To say that Sirius was surprised would be an understatement. He was very surprised at what Remus was doing. Was he displeased? In no way. At first he thought he must be dreaming - had he fallen asleep there on the quidditch pitch so quickly? But no, this was really Remus here, with his arms around him, kissing him within an inch of his life - and he tasted the love that was Remus, and he claimed it for his own, his lips seeming to part of their own volition, without exchanging a single word.
In time, both boys came up for air, panting heavily, topaz eyes gazing into sapphire eyes - looking to one another for some sort of response.
"Bellissima," Remus murmured, running one slender hand across the beautiful pale cheek before him. Sirius grasped that hand, turned it over and kissed the palm gently.
"Mine!" the wolf growled softly, and his mate responded, "Yes, yours."
Without exchanging explicit words of love, they came together once more, completing the circuit, as the love flowed between them, a love that transcended everything and everyone and which could never be torn asunder. There would be time later for explanations and confessions. For promises and vows. For now they were together, and that's all that really mattered.