A Call To Get Awesome!
A friend of mine recently told me a story he read in a magazine about a man having sex with a really hot chick. Apparently this chick was way hotter than this guy could have gotten on a normal basis. He was quite surprised by his luck, so he was trying really hard to impress her and do whatever she wanted. At some point during their time together, she looked up at him and said, “Get Awesome!”
In his rightful confusion, he responded by sputtering out, “What?” She, true to form whenever anyone asks for clarification on something, repeated herself, “Get Awesome!” Still having no idea what she meant, the man tried to think of how he could be more awesome than he was already attempting to be. Admittedly, he was a little drunk, so his response didn’t make a whole lot of sense. Failing to think of anything better, the man made a face that he was convinced he’d think was awesome if he could see it himself. He called it his “Get Awesome” face. Looking at him with puzzlement and a little disgust, the chick asked him, “What are you doing?” Coming to a complete halt, he answered confused and a little ashamed, “You…You told me to Get Awesome.” To which she replied, “I said get off me!”
This is an essay of self-reflection. I’m sure that after reading that anecdote you don’t really understand how I’m connecting it to an essay of this type. Well, stick with me; we’ll get there.
Someone once said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” I believe that truer words were never spoken. This is why, on top of constantly studying the people in my life, every now and again I take the time to look at myself and say, “What the fuck is up with you?” Many times I don’t really like what I find. I have people wonder why I fall off the face of the earth every now and then. Usually the reason is that I’m doing a little soul and mind repair. Often, however, there are things that can’t be fixed or changed; things that I grow to accept about myself so as to not dwell on them. These are some of the things I’ve figured out.
As much as I may fight it, I am a nice guy. There are many who claim to be nice guys, but I fuckin’ know I am. This is a completely inescapable trait that I’ve had since as far back as I remember. Hard as I try to relieve myself of the nice guy, my conscience shows up and beats down every attempt I make.
Now, you might be sitting there asking yourself, “Why would you want to stop? Being a nice guy is a good thing.” True, in the karmic sense. Being a nice guy can be utterly fulfilling. I feel incredible when I do something nice and there was no reason for it. But in the construct of the real world, being a nice guy gets you shat upon.
I’m one of those people who hold the door for other people to walk through. When there are several people, and I can see more people on their way, I continue to hold the door. Nice, right? Well, picture me at a mall during the holiday season. I can end up holding the door for literally minutes waiting for there to be a break big enough in the oncoming riot of mall goers for me to let go and continue on my way. And I don’t continue to hold the door because it’s nice. I hold it because if I let go at any point someone’s getting a glass door to the fucking face.
In this same vein, nice guys are living, breathing, walking doormats that most people tread right over and never notice that they’re even there. Nice guys are pushovers. Nice guys are people pleasers. Nice guys are suck-ups. None of these are particularly flattering qualities. Most people write off the pushovers, the people pleasers, and the suck-ups as losers or not worth any quality time spent on them.
It took me a long time to figure out how big of a pushover I was and even longer to really be able to fix it. I lent people money to have it never paid back. I drove people everywhere and was never given any type of reimbursement. I worked for free because people just really needed the help. If there were an activity that the group was doing and someone couldn’t come because they couldn’t afford it, I’d pay. I dropped whatever I was doing to go help a friend that was in some kind of trouble only to realize that none of those people would ever do that for me. I’d sacrifice an entire night of merry making because someone was drunk and needed looking after, and no one else was going to do it. I’d leave my phone on through the night just in case someone needed to talk and have a shoulder to cry on. All in all, I had a lot of trouble telling people “no” for anything. In a karmic sense, I’m downright wealthy.
Seeing as how I couldn’t fight my own nature, I instead came up with a sort of compromise. I am still generally nice; I still hold doors, I still help my drunken friends, I still keep my phone on through the night. However, my niceness and generosity become much more selective past that. I make sure I get paid if I’m doing work. I don’t drive people all that often. I don’t lend out money, or much of anything else for that matter. If I cover someone, I make sure they cover me the next time. I am much better at telling people no, much to the annoyance of some. I differentiate this from a nice guy by referring to myself as a good guy.
Yet I’m still a sucker. I drive my close friends everywhere. I do countless favors for nothing in return. Recently, someone I don’t get along with that well was having a justifiably bad day, and I was the only person around. I wanted nothing more than to just bolt and not have to deal with it, but my damned conscience reared its ugly head and said, “Do you need to talk?” Damn you, conscience! It’s all right though. I would have felt horrible for I don’t know how long if I’d just left. It was the right thing to do. Damn conscience.
I am an empathetic person. Not to be confused with sympathetic. I don’t just feel for other people, I feel what they feel, and it’s goddamn annoying. I get told all the time that I’m a “really good listener” and a “great person to talk to when I just need to talk, you know?” Yeah, I know, and it’s because I get so caught up in what’s going on with you that I feel the exact emotions you feel. I’m adaptive and take on the traits and emotions of the other people around me.
Not long ago, a bunch of us were hanging out and having a good time, and one of my friends got a call, stayed in the room for the conversation (which is really irritating and rude, by the by), and became unbelievably sad and depressed due to the nature of the call. Because we were all there for the experience, I too became sad and depressed. The weight of the world came crashing down upon me for no apparent reason.
After the phone call, this friend of mine stayed in the room and went on to recount the conversation (which we were all present for) back to us so that we could fully understand why, and not blame her for being so sad and depressed. I was just about in tears. Then, I got really pissed. We were having a good time. Everyone was joking, laughing, and generally loving life. Then this one person, with one thing, was able to bring us all down. I was almost in tears, people! I was pissed that my happy, good time was ruined and that I was depressed for no reason. I was only upset with my friend because of how, in the greater (and even lesser) scheme of things, unimportant that phone call really was. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but now everyone feels like shit. Empathy sucks!
A side note for anyone who has ever actually used my shoulder to cry on; the reason I don’t get all weepy if you do is because I’ve prepared myself for it and am fighting all of your emotions that are rushing into me with all my strength. What good would I be to you if I were an emotional wreck when you needed someone strong?
I am capable of horrible things. I can lie, cheat, steal, backstab, coerce, manipulate, and do a creepy voice that makes me sound like a sex offender. And while we are all, being human, capable of these acts, and while we have all, again being human, done a couple of these things, I don’t do these things, or at least not often. I know how to do them, I know how to get away with doing them, but I don’t (except for the creepy voice thing, generally that’s just funny). No, I use my powers for truth and justice, being an instrument of good. Curse of being a nice guy; no matter what else I call it.
I hate being tickled.
I really hate being sad. It’s a horrible feeling. I just plain don’t like it. What is the usefulness of being sad? It serves no purpose but to make us feel miserable. Sure, we can find some kind of catharsis in our sadness, but how often does that actually happen? To quote Barney Stinson, “When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.” These are words to live by, even if there were said by a fictional character on a CBS television show. I was thinking about this quote while doing one of my self-evaluations recently. I was looking at my life and my current state and realized that, in my own way, I am kind of awesome. And I’d much rather be awesome than sad. I see this as a positive replacement.
Every so often, someone in our little group will say, “Dance Break!” and everyone in the room/car/area has to dance. My friend with that story has started pointing at people and saying, “Get Awesome!” to them at random. Similar to the Dance Break, Get Awesome singles someone out to do something awesome on the spot. It usually ends up being a dance solo. But Get Awesome is intended to be so much more. It’s main purpose is to bring a little awesome into people’s lives, because when you’ve got a little awesome in your life, you life is generally a little better. It’s an upper, something to brighten up the spirits of anyone and everyone.
No longer is Get Awesome just a sobering hot chick slurring her words and creating confusion. It is a cure for sadness, or a temporary one anyhow. Think of it: you’re sitting on a bench really sad or depressed about work/school/boyfriend/girlfriend/family, and someone walks up to, you do not know this person, but they approach you and stand before you. They place a finger under your chin, lift up your face, look you in the eyes and say, “Everything’s going to be all right. Get Awesome!”
For anyone who reads this, and has actually gotten this far, I am hereby putting out a call to Get Awesome! Trumpets sound and the call has been made! Bring a bit more awesome into your life, have a little fun, dance even though there’s no music playing. Let the world know that you’re not afraid to Get Awesome!
P.S. For those of you that think me arrogant or egotistical, all I have to say to you is Get Awesome!
Oi!