More Then Anything 2! Part 1
This is following on from More Then Anything.
'Howard, im fucking sick of this!' Vince said throwing his spoon back into the dish of ice-cream he was eating one morning.
'Sick of what?' Howard asked, finishing off his porage.
'The fact that i cant date anyone, and now everyones getting suspicious!' Vince whined.
'This never happened when we were raising Sarah though did it?!'
'For 2 reasons.
1 I was always hanging around with DeeJay so everyone thought we were an item.
2 I had an excuse for why they couldnt come round and why I couldnt go to theirs.'
'Whatever, where is she anyway.'
'YES!!!!!! THAT PROOVES IT!!!!!! IM HER FAVORITE!!!!!!' Vince yelled standing up while chewing his bubblegum ice-cream.
'Why?'
'Because she didnt tell you.'
'oh for gods sake! just tell me where she is!'
'She's off round her boyfriends house.' He said before scooping up another mouthful
'WHAT?!'
'Yeah, forgotten his name though, Boo knows him.'
Just then Naboo walked into the kitchen and switched on the kettle.
'I know who?' He asked turning around to face them.
'Who cookies off with.' Vince said picking up his bowl and making his way over to the freezer to get more ice-cream.
'Oh yeah, and of all people!'
'Why?'
'He's the one that does the thing with the thing.'
'Oh the person who wears the thing with the other thing?'
'yeah.'
'Ugh!!! the thing doesnt even go with the thing though!'
'I know, but when they do "The Thing" she wont even give a shit.' Naboo explained winking and nudging Vince.
'Can someone please tell me whats going on and who Sarah's with!'
'Cookies with...'
'Kirk.' Naboo finished turning around to pour the boiled water into a cup.
'Oh not Kirk Gaitskell-Kendricks!!! please tell me its a different Kirk!!!'
'Fraid it is, but they'll be back soon, so maybe you should get dressed.'
'Has he atleast aged himself so it doesnt look like she's dating an 8 year old?'
'Yeah, so he looks just a tad older then her.'
'How much older?'
'He looks 18ish.'
'Oh for fuck sake!'
'Howard, couple of things! 1. She's 16, so its fine! 2. She has good taste in guys, trust me. and 3. he aint popular, so people wont know hes a freak like Boo, no offence.'
'Too late, look im going out in a min anyway, so DONT go in my room, and dont let Kirk in either.'
'Whatever.'
****
'Im back!' Sarah called as she walked up the stairs being closely followed by Kirk.
'Alright!' Vince called back from the sofa.
'Hi, im Kirk.' He said as Howard walked over and shook his hand.
'Hello, im Howard Moon.' Howard said smiling.
'Yeah, the geeky one, My um...Dad is over there.'
'Vince, get off ya fat arse and come say hello.'
'Fuck sake Howard!' Vince yelled standing up and walking over.
'Dad!' Cookie yelled a bit embarrassed.
'Im Vince Noir.' Vince said shaking his hand.
'Or Edward Nicholas Brand Noir' Howard mumbled under his breath before Vince kicked him so hard he fell over.
'What?' Sarah asked looking shocked.
'I'll tell you later, now how about we...um...have lunch?' Vince asked trying to change the subject.
'No, tell me now!' Cookie said.
'Fine.' Vince said taking her arm and leading her into the bedroom.
****
'Look, my real name isnt Vince Noir.'
'Well then why the hell do you call yourself it?'
'because im trying to completely get rid of my old life.'
'Fucking love Robots, im number-'
'86 yes i know.'
'No im not.'
'What?'
'Im not number 86.'
'what number are you then?'
'You're so idiotic sometimes dad, y'know that?'
'Look, its besides the point, and im not idiotic!'
'Then tell me what number i am.'
'89?'
'No.'
'83?'
'No.' She sighed.
'Is it even in the eighties?'
'Yes.'
'Well what is it then?'
'Guess you twat!'
'Oi!'
'Just guess.'
'How many chances have i got left?'
'um...1.'
'oh for fufake!'
'Look, ill give you a clue shall i?'
'That would be helpful.'
'Ok, its close to 83.'
'84?'
'Well done!'
'thankyou, now where were we?'
'You were telling me that your name ISNT Vince Noir.'
'Oh yeah, its really...um...'
'have you forgotten your name?'
'no, its just you'll laugh!'
'no i wont, unless its something stupid like Edward, or Nicholas, or something.' She laughed.
'Fuck off.' He said walking out of the room.
'Wait! What?'
'Thats pretty much my name!'
'What?!' She repeated a little louder.
'Yes, Edward Nicholas Brand Noir!'
'Holy Shit!'
'Howard, im fucking sick of this!' Vince said throwing his spoon back into the dish of ice-cream he was eating one morning.
'Sick of what?' Howard asked, finishing off his porage.
'The fact that i cant date anyone, and now everyones getting suspicious!' Vince whined.
'This never happened when we were raising Sarah though did it?!'
'For 2 reasons.
1 I was always hanging around with DeeJay so everyone thought we were an item.
2 I had an excuse for why they couldnt come round and why I couldnt go to theirs.'
'Whatever, where is she anyway.'
'YES!!!!!! THAT PROOVES IT!!!!!! IM HER FAVORITE!!!!!!' Vince yelled standing up while chewing his bubblegum ice-cream.
'Why?'
'Because she didnt tell you.'
'oh for gods sake! just tell me where she is!'
'She's off round her boyfriends house.' He said before scooping up another mouthful
'WHAT?!'
'Yeah, forgotten his name though, Boo knows him.'
Just then Naboo walked into the kitchen and switched on the kettle.
'I know who?' He asked turning around to face them.
'Who cookies off with.' Vince said picking up his bowl and making his way over to the freezer to get more ice-cream.
'Oh yeah, and of all people!'
'Why?'
'He's the one that does the thing with the thing.'
'Oh the person who wears the thing with the other thing?'
'yeah.'
'Ugh!!! the thing doesnt even go with the thing though!'
'I know, but when they do "The Thing" she wont even give a shit.' Naboo explained winking and nudging Vince.
'Can someone please tell me whats going on and who Sarah's with!'
'Cookies with...'
'Kirk.' Naboo finished turning around to pour the boiled water into a cup.
'Oh not Kirk Gaitskell-Kendricks!!! please tell me its a different Kirk!!!'
'Fraid it is, but they'll be back soon, so maybe you should get dressed.'
'Has he atleast aged himself so it doesnt look like she's dating an 8 year old?'
'Yeah, so he looks just a tad older then her.'
'How much older?'
'He looks 18ish.'
'Oh for fuck sake!'
'Howard, couple of things! 1. She's 16, so its fine! 2. She has good taste in guys, trust me. and 3. he aint popular, so people wont know hes a freak like Boo, no offence.'
'Too late, look im going out in a min anyway, so DONT go in my room, and dont let Kirk in either.'
'Whatever.'
****
'Im back!' Sarah called as she walked up the stairs being closely followed by Kirk.
'Alright!' Vince called back from the sofa.
'Hi, im Kirk.' He said as Howard walked over and shook his hand.
'Hello, im Howard Moon.' Howard said smiling.
'Yeah, the geeky one, My um...Dad is over there.'
'Vince, get off ya fat arse and come say hello.'
'Fuck sake Howard!' Vince yelled standing up and walking over.
'Dad!' Cookie yelled a bit embarrassed.
'Im Vince Noir.' Vince said shaking his hand.
'Or Edward Nicholas Brand Noir' Howard mumbled under his breath before Vince kicked him so hard he fell over.
'What?' Sarah asked looking shocked.
'I'll tell you later, now how about we...um...have lunch?' Vince asked trying to change the subject.
'No, tell me now!' Cookie said.
'Fine.' Vince said taking her arm and leading her into the bedroom.
****
'Look, my real name isnt Vince Noir.'
'Well then why the hell do you call yourself it?'
'because im trying to completely get rid of my old life.'
'Fucking love Robots, im number-'
'86 yes i know.'
'No im not.'
'What?'
'Im not number 86.'
'what number are you then?'
'You're so idiotic sometimes dad, y'know that?'
'Look, its besides the point, and im not idiotic!'
'Then tell me what number i am.'
'89?'
'No.'
'83?'
'No.' She sighed.
'Is it even in the eighties?'
'Yes.'
'Well what is it then?'
'Guess you twat!'
'Oi!'
'Just guess.'
'How many chances have i got left?'
'um...1.'
'oh for fufake!'
'Look, ill give you a clue shall i?'
'That would be helpful.'
'Ok, its close to 83.'
'84?'
'Well done!'
'thankyou, now where were we?'
'You were telling me that your name ISNT Vince Noir.'
'Oh yeah, its really...um...'
'have you forgotten your name?'
'no, its just you'll laugh!'
'no i wont, unless its something stupid like Edward, or Nicholas, or something.' She laughed.
'Fuck off.' He said walking out of the room.
'Wait! What?'
'Thats pretty much my name!'
'What?!' She repeated a little louder.
'Yes, Edward Nicholas Brand Noir!'
'Holy Shit!'