Let it Go [oneshot]
Title: Let it Go
Pairing: Taoris
Rating: PG
Summary: The rope that used to bond us has turned into nothing but a thread.
based off this pic
aff link
They met when Tao was fourteen and Kris was sixteen. It was the annual winter school carnival and Tao had managed to spill boiling hot caramel all over himself while working at one of his classes' booths. He screamed, obviously; and maybe even cried a little until a tall, blonde, and quite scary looking upperclassman rushed over to him and dumped a ice cooler full of half melted ice over his burning body. Tao's thick jacket managed to protect his body from any burns and the two of them spent the rest of the day sitting in a serene sort of silence in an empty classroom as they picked dried, sticky caramel off Tao's clothing.
Tao personally couldn't remember the first time he realized he loved Kris. He likes to think it was a little before Kris went off to college, but it was actually way before that. Kris knew that the first time he realized he loved Tao was exactly one year after the caramel incident. It was when Kris saw the younger boy hunched over his sketchbook, smiling as he sketched the inside of a building he knew would never exist, that Kris's heart stopped and a warm fuzzy feeling took him over.
Architecture was Tao's passion. He just loved it so much. Somehow, by some stroke of luck he managed to get into the same college as his boyfriend, Kris and had a house to live in during his first year at college in a small town that was a six hour drive away from his hometown. The house had been a vacation home of Kris's parents, and insisted Kris and Tao live in it during their college years and ended up living in it well after college. By another stroke of luck, the two of them both landed well paying jobs in the small town that helped them make a living. Kris loved his job. Tao hated his. He was an architect, not a secretary. He spent his breaks sketching blueprints to buildings that would never be. He had once dreamed of designing a building in the large city two hours away, but given that up to be with Kris. Kris was the love of his life, the only thing he needed to survive. So what if he was a secretary? He had a good house, good money, and a man who would shoot the moon down for him.
“Happy anniversary.” Kris arrived home after another long day at work. Tao got home two hours before Kris and would always have dinner ready.
Tao smiled and his cheeks grew red as Kris placed a loving kiss upon his cheek and gently placed a small silver box in front of him. “Hm? What's this?” Tao asked.
“A present, of course.” Kris smiled. “Go ahead, open it.”
Tao eagerly opened the box and in it contained a silver ring. “A ring?”
His boyfriend took the ring from him and slipped it onto his finger, “Call me cheesy but...it's a couple ring. See?” He showed his hand, which bore the same ring as Tao's.
Tao smiled, “Thank you. I love it. And I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Will you always love me?”
“Of course. I will never leave you.”
-
“It's now or never, Tao.” The man who had introduced himself as Yixing slid the thin manila folder over to him once more. They were sitting at Tao's small kitchen table.
“I-I don't know.”
“If it's living arrangements you're concerned with, I assure you we can easily provide you with an apartment in the city.”
“That's really nice of you, Yixing. It really is. I just don't think I could leave him...”
“Your boyfriend?”
“Yeah. Kris...”
“I'm trying to understand.” Yixing nodded, “But listen, this is a really big project you know? You're a rookie but you're being given this chance to collaborate with some of the greatest architects of our time. It's a hard offer to decline, isn't it?”
“It is. It really is. It's my dream.”
Yixing nodded once more, “Listen, I'm a pretty flexible and understanding guy. This is a rather large project and won't be in full effect until next year. Just sit on it a little, won't you? I'll come back in six months. That should be enough time for you to decide, shouldn't it?”
“Y-Yes. Thank you, sir.”
“Six months. That's all. You should get to talking to your boyfriend about this.” Yixing rose from the table and made his way to the front door.
“I'll make sure to do so when he get's home. Thank you, again. Have a safe drive back.” Tao opened the door for him. The sun was setting. Kris will be home soon.
Yixing waved once more from his car as he drove away onto the rode that led into the city. I better hide this folder before Kris gets home.
-
Everything can fall apart in a matter of seconds.
“Take the job, Tao.”
“W-What?”
“Take it, goddammit just take the job.” Kris slammed the manila folder Tao had carefully hidden in some of his old high school sketchbooks four months ago down onto the table.
“I-I can't.”
“Why not?” Kris demanded.
I honestly can't remember anymore. Was it for you? Was it because I didn't want to leave you? Because I loved you too much?
“It's too far.”
“It's only two hours away.”
“Well what am I suppose to do then? Drive here and back everyday? Wake up at the crack of dawn and come back late at night?” Tao yelled back, flailing the folder in front of the other's face.
Kris's face grew dark and he looked down. Tao calmed down for a moment and dropped the folder.
There won't be a home for me to come back to.
“I just want you to do what makes you happy.”
“Do you?”
“I do! Dammit, Tao! I loved you and I-” Kris's eyes shot back up but Tao was already walking out of the room. “No, wait! I meant to say that I love you and I want you to pursue your dreams!” Tao slammed the bedroom door.
He loves me...he loves me not...he loves me. I don't know anymore. Why am I still here?
That was the first night Tao actually cried himself to sleep.
-
Tao drowsily opened the bedroom door and stumbled into the kitchen to make some coffee. It was Kris's day off today, but Tao regrettably still had to go to his job as a god awful secretary.
Kris was curled up on the couch, just like he had been every morning for the past two months. Tao still couldn't understand why he woke up every morning praying he could feel Kris's strong arms wrapped around him. And every morning he was disappointed when the only warmth he could feel was from his empty bedsheets.
Tao poured two cups of coffee. Two scoops of sugar in his. Three scoops of sugar and a dash of milk in Kris's. The younger boy couldn't remember the first time he questioned if he still loved Kris. He couldn't remember when their dinners went from happy reunions of laughter and ranting about their days to robotic eating sessions with the usual 'How was work?' 'Oh it was fine, and you?' 'Fine as well.'
Kris was wondering why he was still holding onto Tao when he could see how desperately he wanted to leave. He was sleeping on the couch because he couldn't face Tao anymore. It hurt to see his face. Even at dinner, he would shove the food in his mouth as quick as possible and retreat to the small corner of the house he called his office to 'get some more work done.' However, it was very hard for Kris to avoid Tao when he was sitting three feet away from the other and eating the food he cooked. Eventually, he just took his dinner to his office with claims he was a very busy man. He'd spend the half an hour Tao spent eating alone to look at old pictures of the two of them on his computer. They were so in love, they couldn't be apart. But yet, they were merely grasping onto each other for some sort of closure.
Yixing comes back tomorrow. Now...now I think I've made up my mind.
-
“I leave in two days.” Tao said it in a voice a little higher then a whisper.
Kris was watching the news, “Do you need any help packing?”
“No. I can manage.”
One cup from the cupboard, one toothbrush from the bathroom, all of his clothing in two suitcases, all of his belongings in one medium sized cardboard box. Tao realized he really didn't own much. One taxi call for a pickup from his house to the city at eight am.
Tao settled into the cold bed, knowing it would be his last night sleeping in this bed. His heart hurt. As childish as it sounded, it really did hurt. He lay there for what felt like a couple hours, watching the stars shift in the dark window that was on his side of the bed. Suddenly, the bedroom door made a small creek and Tao squeezed his eyes shut.
The bed dipped under the new weight, and Kris got into his side of the bed like he had done every day so many years before. He wrapped his arms around Tao's body, pressing his bare chest against Tao's bare back. Tao lay there. His heartbeat didn't increase. His cheeks didn't grow warm. His heart fell instead, and his cheeks got covered in a small layer of tears.
Why do things have to be like this? How can two people love each other but not be able to be together? How can there be such a sad version of love? My head hurts.
-
Tao opened his eyes, and the early summer sunlight was seeping into the room. Kris was standing by the window, already dressed, back hunched.
Tao rose and changed into the clothes he had lay out the night before: plain white t-shirt and jeans. He went into the kitchen and made two cups of coffee like he did everyday and left Kris's on the same place on the counter.
He drank his coffee and ate his oatmeal quickly, and started to haul his first suitcase out to the curb. Kris was still in the bedroom. The suitcase was heavy.
“Here, let me help.” Tao jumped at the sudden voice.
“T-Thanks.”
Kris carried the second suitcase and the cardboard box as if it were nothing and gently placed them on the curb. “T-Thanks...again.”
“No problem.” Kris nodded. He stood there, waiting with Tao as the two of the basked in the warm summer air in the same silence they shared when they first met. But this time, instead of silently exchanging their first 'hellos' they were exchanging their first 'goodbyes'.
The large yellow taxi crept it's way into the silent suburb and stopped in front of the two, popping open it's trunk.
Kris placed all of Tao's belongings into the back as Tao entered the taxi. They looked at each other. Tao in the taxi, Kris on the curb. They didn't say a word but yet Tao knew it was over.
You look sad...
The taxi lurched forward and Tao tore his eyes away from the window and focused on his lap. As he looked out the front widow and into the rear view mirror he could see Kris standing by the curb, as if Tao had never left, and then finally, turning around and entering the house.
Kris would be greeted by a cup of warm coffee next to a silver ring that was identical to the one he was currently wearing on his finger.
-
“We have a meeting downtown today at noon.”
Tao smiled, “Yeah I know, Sehun. Thanks for reminding me though.”
“Ha, no problem. I know you can be a little forgetful sometimes so...” Sehun awkwardly scratched the back of his head, “I just wanted you to um, remember?”
“Uh, I appreciate that. But I'm not the forgetful one. Yixing is.” He laughed and returned back to the blueprints.
“Oh...yeah...right. So um, anyway,” Sehun cleared his throat and tried to bring the redness down in his face, “How are you adjusting to the city?”
“Well, you've asked me that all year, and I'm gonna give you the same answer: I'm doing good.” Tao rolled his eyes at his coworker's usual awkward question.
“That's good. I'm just trying to be a good friend.”
Tao looked up from his papers and smiled, “Yeah, I know. And I appreciate that.” He waved a pencil at the boy, “Now get back to work. You still need to gather all your papers for the meeting.”
-
It had been a year since Tao left. Kris was traveling to the city for the first time in a year for a very important meeting he really didn't want to attend. He sighed as he threw his suitcase and briefcase into his car and punched in the directions for the location of the meeting into his GPS and threw his hotel reservation info into the passenger's seat to be used later. It would be a long drive.
Tao pushed through the packed lobby of the building, squished next to Sehun and his boss, Yixing. It seemed like everybody in the country was having a meeting here today. All the tall boy could see was the plain black heads of hair from businessmen and hear the loud claps of dress shoes and heels against marble floors mixed with the rustle of stiff suits. A flash of blonde caught his eye through the crowd.
A foreigner?
The man turned and Tao realized he was quite tall, and his eyes looked awfully familiar.
Then he realized it was Kris, and Kris realized the other tall boy was Tao.
They stood there, frozen as the world slowed down and all they could do was stare at each other. Tao didn't know what to do. Kris looked well. Had he found someone else in this past year? Did he still live in that house? Did he even care about him anymore?
“Tao! C'mon! We're gonna be late!” Sehun grabbed his daydreaming friend's arm and pulled him through the crowd, and Kris's confused and lonely eyes were lost amongst the swarm once more.
-
Tao's apartment was cold. The winter air had seeped through the window he had carelessly left open that morning.
Why today? Why of all days I had to see him today? He tumbled to the floor in a heap in the dark room. Why did this happen to me? I-I can't stay like this...out. Yeah...I'll go out right now.
Tao quickly changed out of his suit and threw on a large coat, beanie and scarf and rushed out the door.
-
He pushed through crowds of people, not knowing where to go exactly. He just needed to get his mind off of things. He couldn't stay cooped up in his apartment all night with nothing but his thoughts of Kris.
Soon he arrived at a plaza that was draped in Christmas lights and inhabited by plenty of happy people balancing shopping bags on their arms and clasping hands with their children.
Ah yes, just seeing people like this already makes me feel better.
“Tao?”
Tao turned around and stood face to face with the man who had crushed his heart just a year before. “Oh, hi Kris.” The name rolled off his tongue so foreignly.
“Hey.” He smiled, “You look well. I thought I saw you today downtown.”
“Yeah. That was me...I saw you too.”
“Really? Wow, what a small world. I'm was here for a meeting.” He sighed, “It just ended.”
“Oh, so I guess you're heading back to your hotel or house?”
“Hotel. It's far too late to go back home now.” He smiled.
“Yeah...when do you leave?”
“Tomorrow morning.”
Invite him back to your apartment.
“Uh...that cafe over there...it has really good coffee.” Tao pointed to the cafe a few meters away from them.
“Really? Should we go in then? It's really cold out here.” Kris suggested.
“Yeah.”
Kris held the door open for Tao. Don't do that, stupid.
The cafe was warm and a girl with a bouncy ponytail greeted them at the register. “Hi! What can I get for you today?”
“Uhh...two coffees?” Tao looked at Kris for confirmation. Kris nodded. “Yeah. Just that.” Stop shaking, dammit!
“Alright! Please wait a moment.”
Tao and Kris settled down at an old wooded table. The cafe was lit up with Christmas lights like outside and was inhabited by young couples, friends, and parents cleaning up the mushed cake off their children.
Tao kept his eyes locked on the table and blindly navigated his hand across the rough table for some sugar packets. Suddenly, two dropped into his wandering hand.
“You still drink your coffee with two scoops of sugar, right?”
“Yeah...thanks.” Tao kept his eyes glued onto his coffee as he emptied the two small packets into his cup and stirred it around.
They sat in silence, Tao was happy for it. He sipped his coffee and looked at the wall behind Kris.
“So, how have things been going? How did you find out about this place?”
“Hm? Oh, one of my coworkers, Sehun took me here the last winter when I first got here. He told me I hadn't experience anything in the city unless I tried this coffee.”
Kris finished stirring in his dash of milk and tasted the coffee, “Ah, he's right. This is some fine ass coffee.”
Tao snorted on his coffee, “Isn't it?! That's what I said the first time I tired it too!”
“It is. Give my thanks to Sehun for showing you this coffee. I feel reborn by this one cup.”
Tao rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair, “I think he'd interpret the wrong way. Sehun is kinda spacey. But he's been pretty nice to me since I got here.”
“Are all your coworkers nice? Aren't you working with a ton of other famous architects?”
“Yeah I guess. There's just this one guy, Chanyeol, oh god he's the biggest fucking ass I've ever met, I swear. He thinks he's better then me just because he's like two centimeters taller then me. Like shit, just because you've already built three buildings and you're two centimeters taller then me doesn't mean you're better then me.”
“Tao, I hate to argue but I think a guy who's already built three buildings has a little more authority over you.”
“Pssssh. Yeah I guess. What about you?”
They sat like that talking as if nothing had happened. They caught up on how things had been going on back home. Kris still lived in their house, and no, he hadn't found anyone new. They ranted about their jobs and about taxes and parking tickets. The cafe seemed to have turned back into their kitchen, the cold empty coffee cups into Tao's cooking and the large wooden table into their small three foot dining table that could only fit two.
“Excuse me, we're closing.” The girl with the bouncy ponytail smiled at the two of them apologetically.
“Oh really?” Kris glanced at his watch, “Oh yes, indeed! It's almost midnight.”
“Really?!” Tao asked, “It only felt like an hour...”
“I guess time flies by fast when you're talking with someone cool, huh?” He smiled, putting on his jacket and holding the door open once more for Tao.
“Y-Yeah.” The cold winter air hit the two of them. It was almost like a cold bucket of water splashed onto Tao, snapping him back into reality.
The lights were slowly fading from the plaza, “It was nice talking to you, Tao.”
“Same for you.”
More silence.
“I'm...I'm happy that you took this job. And I'm happy you're doing well and pursing your dream.”
“I'm happy for you too. You're happy, right?”
“Yeah. I'm really happy I got to see you again.” Kris held out his hand for a handshake.
Tao hesitantly took it and his heartbeat shot through his arm and into Kris. “I'm glad I got to see you too.” Tell him you love him.
“I hope your building goes well.”
Tao nodded with a small smile and didn't say another word. It was all over now.
He turned around and walked in the opposite direction of Kris. He walked fast, his back burning, waiting for it to be engulfed in warm arms or his ears to prick up at the sound of a 'Don't go!' but at the same time, Tao feared that, and he kept walking fast, with his back burning to avoid looking back to see Kris still standing there looking at him, or even worse, to see Kris's back. He walked that way until he was back to his apartment, and then finally, as if expecting Kris to have followed him into his apartment, looked back. All he was greeted with was a stupid reminder he still hadn't shut that window.
Tao woke up the next morning feeling like hell.
-
“Hey, Tao, do you have anything planned after work?”
“No, why? Did you wanna do something, Sehun?”
“Oh no, I just wanted to congratulate you on how well the meeting went yesterday and stuff...”
“You were just as important as me.” Tao smiled.
“Hahaha, yeah.” Sehun turned on his heel to walk away but twirled back around, “Actually I was wondering...” Tao took note of the red forming in his friend's cheeks, “I had a date tonight but she canceled last minute and now I have a reservation that took me forever to get at this really fancy restaurant and I thought it would kinda be a waste to cancel and stuff and it was for two so it would look weird if I were dining alone and so I was wondering if you wanted to come eat dinner with me tonight?” All his words sounded jumbled up.
Tao's stomach felt warm and he made a huge smile, “Yeah. Yeah I'd really like that.”
“Really?!” Sehun exclaimed, excitedly.
“Yeah. I think it would be nice.”
“I'll pay, don't worry! Umm...I'll talk to you after work then!” Sehun rushed back to his desk, grinning like a school boy.
Kris, thank you for everything...and goodbye.
Pairing: Taoris
Rating: PG
Summary: The rope that used to bond us has turned into nothing but a thread.
based off this pic
aff link
They met when Tao was fourteen and Kris was sixteen. It was the annual winter school carnival and Tao had managed to spill boiling hot caramel all over himself while working at one of his classes' booths. He screamed, obviously; and maybe even cried a little until a tall, blonde, and quite scary looking upperclassman rushed over to him and dumped a ice cooler full of half melted ice over his burning body. Tao's thick jacket managed to protect his body from any burns and the two of them spent the rest of the day sitting in a serene sort of silence in an empty classroom as they picked dried, sticky caramel off Tao's clothing.
Tao personally couldn't remember the first time he realized he loved Kris. He likes to think it was a little before Kris went off to college, but it was actually way before that. Kris knew that the first time he realized he loved Tao was exactly one year after the caramel incident. It was when Kris saw the younger boy hunched over his sketchbook, smiling as he sketched the inside of a building he knew would never exist, that Kris's heart stopped and a warm fuzzy feeling took him over.
Architecture was Tao's passion. He just loved it so much. Somehow, by some stroke of luck he managed to get into the same college as his boyfriend, Kris and had a house to live in during his first year at college in a small town that was a six hour drive away from his hometown. The house had been a vacation home of Kris's parents, and insisted Kris and Tao live in it during their college years and ended up living in it well after college. By another stroke of luck, the two of them both landed well paying jobs in the small town that helped them make a living. Kris loved his job. Tao hated his. He was an architect, not a secretary. He spent his breaks sketching blueprints to buildings that would never be. He had once dreamed of designing a building in the large city two hours away, but given that up to be with Kris. Kris was the love of his life, the only thing he needed to survive. So what if he was a secretary? He had a good house, good money, and a man who would shoot the moon down for him.
“Happy anniversary.” Kris arrived home after another long day at work. Tao got home two hours before Kris and would always have dinner ready.
Tao smiled and his cheeks grew red as Kris placed a loving kiss upon his cheek and gently placed a small silver box in front of him. “Hm? What's this?” Tao asked.
“A present, of course.” Kris smiled. “Go ahead, open it.”
Tao eagerly opened the box and in it contained a silver ring. “A ring?”
His boyfriend took the ring from him and slipped it onto his finger, “Call me cheesy but...it's a couple ring. See?” He showed his hand, which bore the same ring as Tao's.
Tao smiled, “Thank you. I love it. And I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Will you always love me?”
“Of course. I will never leave you.”
-
“It's now or never, Tao.” The man who had introduced himself as Yixing slid the thin manila folder over to him once more. They were sitting at Tao's small kitchen table.
“I-I don't know.”
“If it's living arrangements you're concerned with, I assure you we can easily provide you with an apartment in the city.”
“That's really nice of you, Yixing. It really is. I just don't think I could leave him...”
“Your boyfriend?”
“Yeah. Kris...”
“I'm trying to understand.” Yixing nodded, “But listen, this is a really big project you know? You're a rookie but you're being given this chance to collaborate with some of the greatest architects of our time. It's a hard offer to decline, isn't it?”
“It is. It really is. It's my dream.”
Yixing nodded once more, “Listen, I'm a pretty flexible and understanding guy. This is a rather large project and won't be in full effect until next year. Just sit on it a little, won't you? I'll come back in six months. That should be enough time for you to decide, shouldn't it?”
“Y-Yes. Thank you, sir.”
“Six months. That's all. You should get to talking to your boyfriend about this.” Yixing rose from the table and made his way to the front door.
“I'll make sure to do so when he get's home. Thank you, again. Have a safe drive back.” Tao opened the door for him. The sun was setting. Kris will be home soon.
Yixing waved once more from his car as he drove away onto the rode that led into the city. I better hide this folder before Kris gets home.
-
Everything can fall apart in a matter of seconds.
“Take the job, Tao.”
“W-What?”
“Take it, goddammit just take the job.” Kris slammed the manila folder Tao had carefully hidden in some of his old high school sketchbooks four months ago down onto the table.
“I-I can't.”
“Why not?” Kris demanded.
I honestly can't remember anymore. Was it for you? Was it because I didn't want to leave you? Because I loved you too much?
“It's too far.”
“It's only two hours away.”
“Well what am I suppose to do then? Drive here and back everyday? Wake up at the crack of dawn and come back late at night?” Tao yelled back, flailing the folder in front of the other's face.
Kris's face grew dark and he looked down. Tao calmed down for a moment and dropped the folder.
There won't be a home for me to come back to.
“I just want you to do what makes you happy.”
“Do you?”
“I do! Dammit, Tao! I loved you and I-” Kris's eyes shot back up but Tao was already walking out of the room. “No, wait! I meant to say that I love you and I want you to pursue your dreams!” Tao slammed the bedroom door.
He loves me...he loves me not...he loves me. I don't know anymore. Why am I still here?
That was the first night Tao actually cried himself to sleep.
-
Tao drowsily opened the bedroom door and stumbled into the kitchen to make some coffee. It was Kris's day off today, but Tao regrettably still had to go to his job as a god awful secretary.
Kris was curled up on the couch, just like he had been every morning for the past two months. Tao still couldn't understand why he woke up every morning praying he could feel Kris's strong arms wrapped around him. And every morning he was disappointed when the only warmth he could feel was from his empty bedsheets.
Tao poured two cups of coffee. Two scoops of sugar in his. Three scoops of sugar and a dash of milk in Kris's. The younger boy couldn't remember the first time he questioned if he still loved Kris. He couldn't remember when their dinners went from happy reunions of laughter and ranting about their days to robotic eating sessions with the usual 'How was work?' 'Oh it was fine, and you?' 'Fine as well.'
Kris was wondering why he was still holding onto Tao when he could see how desperately he wanted to leave. He was sleeping on the couch because he couldn't face Tao anymore. It hurt to see his face. Even at dinner, he would shove the food in his mouth as quick as possible and retreat to the small corner of the house he called his office to 'get some more work done.' However, it was very hard for Kris to avoid Tao when he was sitting three feet away from the other and eating the food he cooked. Eventually, he just took his dinner to his office with claims he was a very busy man. He'd spend the half an hour Tao spent eating alone to look at old pictures of the two of them on his computer. They were so in love, they couldn't be apart. But yet, they were merely grasping onto each other for some sort of closure.
Yixing comes back tomorrow. Now...now I think I've made up my mind.
-
“I leave in two days.” Tao said it in a voice a little higher then a whisper.
Kris was watching the news, “Do you need any help packing?”
“No. I can manage.”
One cup from the cupboard, one toothbrush from the bathroom, all of his clothing in two suitcases, all of his belongings in one medium sized cardboard box. Tao realized he really didn't own much. One taxi call for a pickup from his house to the city at eight am.
Tao settled into the cold bed, knowing it would be his last night sleeping in this bed. His heart hurt. As childish as it sounded, it really did hurt. He lay there for what felt like a couple hours, watching the stars shift in the dark window that was on his side of the bed. Suddenly, the bedroom door made a small creek and Tao squeezed his eyes shut.
The bed dipped under the new weight, and Kris got into his side of the bed like he had done every day so many years before. He wrapped his arms around Tao's body, pressing his bare chest against Tao's bare back. Tao lay there. His heartbeat didn't increase. His cheeks didn't grow warm. His heart fell instead, and his cheeks got covered in a small layer of tears.
Why do things have to be like this? How can two people love each other but not be able to be together? How can there be such a sad version of love? My head hurts.
-
Tao opened his eyes, and the early summer sunlight was seeping into the room. Kris was standing by the window, already dressed, back hunched.
Tao rose and changed into the clothes he had lay out the night before: plain white t-shirt and jeans. He went into the kitchen and made two cups of coffee like he did everyday and left Kris's on the same place on the counter.
He drank his coffee and ate his oatmeal quickly, and started to haul his first suitcase out to the curb. Kris was still in the bedroom. The suitcase was heavy.
“Here, let me help.” Tao jumped at the sudden voice.
“T-Thanks.”
Kris carried the second suitcase and the cardboard box as if it were nothing and gently placed them on the curb. “T-Thanks...again.”
“No problem.” Kris nodded. He stood there, waiting with Tao as the two of the basked in the warm summer air in the same silence they shared when they first met. But this time, instead of silently exchanging their first 'hellos' they were exchanging their first 'goodbyes'.
The large yellow taxi crept it's way into the silent suburb and stopped in front of the two, popping open it's trunk.
Kris placed all of Tao's belongings into the back as Tao entered the taxi. They looked at each other. Tao in the taxi, Kris on the curb. They didn't say a word but yet Tao knew it was over.
You look sad...
The taxi lurched forward and Tao tore his eyes away from the window and focused on his lap. As he looked out the front widow and into the rear view mirror he could see Kris standing by the curb, as if Tao had never left, and then finally, turning around and entering the house.
Kris would be greeted by a cup of warm coffee next to a silver ring that was identical to the one he was currently wearing on his finger.
-
“We have a meeting downtown today at noon.”
Tao smiled, “Yeah I know, Sehun. Thanks for reminding me though.”
“Ha, no problem. I know you can be a little forgetful sometimes so...” Sehun awkwardly scratched the back of his head, “I just wanted you to um, remember?”
“Uh, I appreciate that. But I'm not the forgetful one. Yixing is.” He laughed and returned back to the blueprints.
“Oh...yeah...right. So um, anyway,” Sehun cleared his throat and tried to bring the redness down in his face, “How are you adjusting to the city?”
“Well, you've asked me that all year, and I'm gonna give you the same answer: I'm doing good.” Tao rolled his eyes at his coworker's usual awkward question.
“That's good. I'm just trying to be a good friend.”
Tao looked up from his papers and smiled, “Yeah, I know. And I appreciate that.” He waved a pencil at the boy, “Now get back to work. You still need to gather all your papers for the meeting.”
-
It had been a year since Tao left. Kris was traveling to the city for the first time in a year for a very important meeting he really didn't want to attend. He sighed as he threw his suitcase and briefcase into his car and punched in the directions for the location of the meeting into his GPS and threw his hotel reservation info into the passenger's seat to be used later. It would be a long drive.
Tao pushed through the packed lobby of the building, squished next to Sehun and his boss, Yixing. It seemed like everybody in the country was having a meeting here today. All the tall boy could see was the plain black heads of hair from businessmen and hear the loud claps of dress shoes and heels against marble floors mixed with the rustle of stiff suits. A flash of blonde caught his eye through the crowd.
A foreigner?
The man turned and Tao realized he was quite tall, and his eyes looked awfully familiar.
Then he realized it was Kris, and Kris realized the other tall boy was Tao.
They stood there, frozen as the world slowed down and all they could do was stare at each other. Tao didn't know what to do. Kris looked well. Had he found someone else in this past year? Did he still live in that house? Did he even care about him anymore?
“Tao! C'mon! We're gonna be late!” Sehun grabbed his daydreaming friend's arm and pulled him through the crowd, and Kris's confused and lonely eyes were lost amongst the swarm once more.
-
Tao's apartment was cold. The winter air had seeped through the window he had carelessly left open that morning.
Why today? Why of all days I had to see him today? He tumbled to the floor in a heap in the dark room. Why did this happen to me? I-I can't stay like this...out. Yeah...I'll go out right now.
Tao quickly changed out of his suit and threw on a large coat, beanie and scarf and rushed out the door.
-
He pushed through crowds of people, not knowing where to go exactly. He just needed to get his mind off of things. He couldn't stay cooped up in his apartment all night with nothing but his thoughts of Kris.
Soon he arrived at a plaza that was draped in Christmas lights and inhabited by plenty of happy people balancing shopping bags on their arms and clasping hands with their children.
Ah yes, just seeing people like this already makes me feel better.
“Tao?”
Tao turned around and stood face to face with the man who had crushed his heart just a year before. “Oh, hi Kris.” The name rolled off his tongue so foreignly.
“Hey.” He smiled, “You look well. I thought I saw you today downtown.”
“Yeah. That was me...I saw you too.”
“Really? Wow, what a small world. I'm was here for a meeting.” He sighed, “It just ended.”
“Oh, so I guess you're heading back to your hotel or house?”
“Hotel. It's far too late to go back home now.” He smiled.
“Yeah...when do you leave?”
“Tomorrow morning.”
Invite him back to your apartment.
“Uh...that cafe over there...it has really good coffee.” Tao pointed to the cafe a few meters away from them.
“Really? Should we go in then? It's really cold out here.” Kris suggested.
“Yeah.”
Kris held the door open for Tao. Don't do that, stupid.
The cafe was warm and a girl with a bouncy ponytail greeted them at the register. “Hi! What can I get for you today?”
“Uhh...two coffees?” Tao looked at Kris for confirmation. Kris nodded. “Yeah. Just that.” Stop shaking, dammit!
“Alright! Please wait a moment.”
Tao and Kris settled down at an old wooded table. The cafe was lit up with Christmas lights like outside and was inhabited by young couples, friends, and parents cleaning up the mushed cake off their children.
Tao kept his eyes locked on the table and blindly navigated his hand across the rough table for some sugar packets. Suddenly, two dropped into his wandering hand.
“You still drink your coffee with two scoops of sugar, right?”
“Yeah...thanks.” Tao kept his eyes glued onto his coffee as he emptied the two small packets into his cup and stirred it around.
They sat in silence, Tao was happy for it. He sipped his coffee and looked at the wall behind Kris.
“So, how have things been going? How did you find out about this place?”
“Hm? Oh, one of my coworkers, Sehun took me here the last winter when I first got here. He told me I hadn't experience anything in the city unless I tried this coffee.”
Kris finished stirring in his dash of milk and tasted the coffee, “Ah, he's right. This is some fine ass coffee.”
Tao snorted on his coffee, “Isn't it?! That's what I said the first time I tired it too!”
“It is. Give my thanks to Sehun for showing you this coffee. I feel reborn by this one cup.”
Tao rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair, “I think he'd interpret the wrong way. Sehun is kinda spacey. But he's been pretty nice to me since I got here.”
“Are all your coworkers nice? Aren't you working with a ton of other famous architects?”
“Yeah I guess. There's just this one guy, Chanyeol, oh god he's the biggest fucking ass I've ever met, I swear. He thinks he's better then me just because he's like two centimeters taller then me. Like shit, just because you've already built three buildings and you're two centimeters taller then me doesn't mean you're better then me.”
“Tao, I hate to argue but I think a guy who's already built three buildings has a little more authority over you.”
“Pssssh. Yeah I guess. What about you?”
They sat like that talking as if nothing had happened. They caught up on how things had been going on back home. Kris still lived in their house, and no, he hadn't found anyone new. They ranted about their jobs and about taxes and parking tickets. The cafe seemed to have turned back into their kitchen, the cold empty coffee cups into Tao's cooking and the large wooden table into their small three foot dining table that could only fit two.
“Excuse me, we're closing.” The girl with the bouncy ponytail smiled at the two of them apologetically.
“Oh really?” Kris glanced at his watch, “Oh yes, indeed! It's almost midnight.”
“Really?!” Tao asked, “It only felt like an hour...”
“I guess time flies by fast when you're talking with someone cool, huh?” He smiled, putting on his jacket and holding the door open once more for Tao.
“Y-Yeah.” The cold winter air hit the two of them. It was almost like a cold bucket of water splashed onto Tao, snapping him back into reality.
The lights were slowly fading from the plaza, “It was nice talking to you, Tao.”
“Same for you.”
More silence.
“I'm...I'm happy that you took this job. And I'm happy you're doing well and pursing your dream.”
“I'm happy for you too. You're happy, right?”
“Yeah. I'm really happy I got to see you again.” Kris held out his hand for a handshake.
Tao hesitantly took it and his heartbeat shot through his arm and into Kris. “I'm glad I got to see you too.” Tell him you love him.
“I hope your building goes well.”
Tao nodded with a small smile and didn't say another word. It was all over now.
He turned around and walked in the opposite direction of Kris. He walked fast, his back burning, waiting for it to be engulfed in warm arms or his ears to prick up at the sound of a 'Don't go!' but at the same time, Tao feared that, and he kept walking fast, with his back burning to avoid looking back to see Kris still standing there looking at him, or even worse, to see Kris's back. He walked that way until he was back to his apartment, and then finally, as if expecting Kris to have followed him into his apartment, looked back. All he was greeted with was a stupid reminder he still hadn't shut that window.
Tao woke up the next morning feeling like hell.
-
“Hey, Tao, do you have anything planned after work?”
“No, why? Did you wanna do something, Sehun?”
“Oh no, I just wanted to congratulate you on how well the meeting went yesterday and stuff...”
“You were just as important as me.” Tao smiled.
“Hahaha, yeah.” Sehun turned on his heel to walk away but twirled back around, “Actually I was wondering...” Tao took note of the red forming in his friend's cheeks, “I had a date tonight but she canceled last minute and now I have a reservation that took me forever to get at this really fancy restaurant and I thought it would kinda be a waste to cancel and stuff and it was for two so it would look weird if I were dining alone and so I was wondering if you wanted to come eat dinner with me tonight?” All his words sounded jumbled up.
Tao's stomach felt warm and he made a huge smile, “Yeah. Yeah I'd really like that.”
“Really?!” Sehun exclaimed, excitedly.
“Yeah. I think it would be nice.”
“I'll pay, don't worry! Umm...I'll talk to you after work then!” Sehun rushed back to his desk, grinning like a school boy.
Kris, thank you for everything...and goodbye.