[FIC] Loneliness For Sale
Title: Loneliness For Sale
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Length: Oneshot
Rating: PG
Genre: fluff, romance, drama
Summary: It's been the fourth day without sleep for Jung Yunho.
A/N: For @duckphin! Happy free days after exam babya! Hope you'll like it! :D
L O N E L I N E S S F O R S A L E
It's been the fourth day without sleep for Jung Yunho.
Another night spending with tossing and turning on his own bed until morning comes. He's tired. But it seems not enough for his body to call in sleep. He tries to shut his eyes tighter, using eye therapy mask, counting sheeps and stars, exercise harder, practice more, none of them able to make him fall asleep at night. He excused to manager to drink sleeping pills but the thick-glasses man refuses with death glare.
Jung Yunho is left frustrated.
As he rolls for the umpteenth time under his newly changed bed sheets - blue ocean colour. Changmin said it could stimulate body to be more relaxed - he thinks of why he becomes an insomnia. Backtracking his memories to the furthest. It must be somewhere beneath those layers of stage shows and hectic schedules. He sighs. Rubbing his head in frustration.
Four days ago he went drunk with some fellow old friends. League of people he already knew way back before his debut. Bottles of Soju and laughter filled the empty times, years of no meeting. Awkwardness evaporated. Replaced with nostalgia and cocky stories about recent business. Yunho laughed along, drank couple more of Soju before something on the tv caught his very eye.
Image of handsome guy in black hair and suit appeared for not over than three seconds. Flashing his shy smile to the camera. A familiar sight from a certain person.
Jaejoong's new drama commercial.
Yunho's laughter died.
He stood up. His eyes froze. Jaw dropped and gasping. A friend whispered What's wrong? but Yunho shook it away. I'm fine. he muttered as he slowly sat back on the chair. A gulp of Soju ran down his throat to calm his nerves. He took a deep breath.
Jaejoong looks... tired. His features had gone sharper though his eyes casted down. No smile projected there eventhough his lips were. When did he dye his hair black? Yunho remembered his orange-golden-blonde locks months ago. Probably still in this month. A little more before the showcase in Gwangju. He remembered again. Jaejoong wasn't in some sort of eating disease, were he? Yunho chewed his lower lip. His body looked thinner and his face was paler. How was he doing lately?
Yunho excused himself to go home earlier. Speeding up and reach the dorm in less than thirty minutes. He plopped himself on to the bed and think and remembering. Drifting in a nostalgia of a person he once loved.
Up to this night.
He blinks and sits on the bed. Back facing the headboard. Another sigh escapes. He must do something. He reaches for his phone and tapping it unlock. He scrolls through the names and numbers. Stopping at a particular set with a name he changed awhile ago.
Baby.
He hasn't change his numbers, right? No. He uses seven phones. Can't be. The dilemma comes. Press the call button or not? Yunho stares at the screen with eyebrows taut. Thinking of many possibilities. Would Jaejoong pick it up? Has he erased Yunho's number? What greetings should he say? Hello would make him sound like a stranger - which he highly aware of right now. Hi sounds okay. But will it gives an image of how he's been doing fine without Jaejoong around? No. He definitely doesn't want the other to think that he's in better position after he left. Since he's not.
Taking a deep breath, he presses the call button over Jaejoong's number. He clears his throat and brings the device up to his ear.
Riiiiing.
Riiiiing.
Riiiiing.
Riii- "Yoboseyo?"
The tone cuts off with a low-pitch answer. A voice he has known for years speaking back to him. He echoes "Yoboseyo" with lower voice than he expected.
"Who?"
"It's me. Yunho."
No voice. But he hears sound of scribbled papers and mouse clicks. Jaejoong must be staying late for composing. "You-, ah, sorry. You changed your number."
"Ah yeah. Sorry," Yunho rubs his nape nervously. "Well, how're you?"
"Ffine. I-, I guess," no. He's slurring. "You?"
"Not really...," he answers. "You're busy?"
"Making songs. You? Have you eaten?"
Yunho smiles. Jae still cares for him. "Sitting on my bed. Trying to fall asleep. Yes, I ate." He chuckles a bit. "Funny. You're the one who should eat."
"I ate!" Jae's tone a tad bit higher. "Wait, you... You haven't sleep yet?"
"Been sleepless for days," he huffs. Another rustling sounds heard from Jae. "Your insomnia moved, I think," Yunho chuckles.
"Wait. One minute."
Yunho listens to the line. Sounds of footsteps upon wooden floor. Click. Another click. Another click. Rustling sounds. Soft thud. More rustles.
"Yunho?" Jae asks. The other confirms his presence with a hum. "Why you can't sleep?"
"Are you somewhere other than your apartment? I remembered yours have marble tiles," Yunho frowns.
"At an inn just outside Seoul. Shooting," Jaejoong explains. "Hey, answer me."
"Can't sleep before six am," Yunho bites his lower lip. "No matter how I tried, how tired I am,... I just can't."
"Aah," Jaejoong nods. "Have you gone to the doctor? Taken sleeping pills?"
"No time. Manager forbids me to take any."
No sound. Yunho calls Jaejoong's name. The other replies.
"I think my bed misses you..."
Jae laughs.
"I'm serious!" but Yunho laughs along with him. "I'm sleeping in our shared bed actually..."
"Eeh what? I thought company have thrown it away years ago."
"They love to recycle, remember?" Jaejoong laughs harder on the other line. Yunho smiles. "Nah, I told them it was my bed and already too comfy with it. So they had to load it to new dorm."
"Oh, my...," Jae sniffs. His laugh slipping a bit. "You..."
"The bed is a part of us, right? I still remember those nights when I'll slip under your blanket. Using cold as an excuse..."
"So you can touch me. And hug me..."
"And do so much more...," his voice drops a tone.
Yunho could practically sense that Jaejoong is blushing on his bed. Hand over his mouth. His eyes closed. "Yunho ah..."
"I miss you...," Yunho blurts out. "Too much..."
They take a long pause for what feels like minutes. Just hearing each other's breathing. The sudden confession leaves both of them speechless. Yunho in his hopeful state and Jaejoong to his disbelief.
"I miss you too...," Jaejoong echoes. "I see your face everywhere but it's nowhere near enough... I-... I-..."
"You what?"
"I used to have you in my arms..."
Yunho could've just answer But you leave and points at Jae's biggest mistake ever. But no. This may be the only chance when he can speak to Jae without anything to interrupt them. He cannot ruin this moment with ego. "I know. I used to have you too..."
"I can't sleep either...," Jae slurs out. "Not without your chest to snuggle on, not without your hands on my waist, your breath on my neck... Even your head which always fell to my shoulder while we're on the plane..."
"Jae..."
"I'll shake it off during day. But everytime I come home late, seeing the unoccupied bed... I will cry myself to morning just because...," Jae hiccups. Sounds like he's sobbing over there. "Because it reminds me of how empty I am without you..."
"Ssshh," Yunho cooes him. "Don't cry, Boo. I'm here..."
"I'm being silly," Jaejoong says. "Loving and longing for someone who doesn't even call me..."
"I love you!" Yunho suddenly sits straight. "I can't call you because-"
"No matter...," Jae cuts him off. "No matter how much I love you, you're not in love with me anymore..."
Silence.
"You know what?" Yunho's back touches the soft mattress underneath him. Head resting on his other hand. Jae hums. "As silly as it may sounds... I always hope there'll be you among the crowd... I kept searching. Just your shadow. It's all I need. But I haven't found it to this day."
Yunho lets tears stain his face. Making path of transparent river to the pillow.
"I guess this is what lonely really is," Yunho snorts this time. "There're many people in the same space, but your heart is empty. Crying silently for its need to be filled."
"Yunho ah..."
"But tonight," Yunho smiles in relief. "It seems to find its long awaited content."
Jaejoong whispers. "I think, mine's too..."
Yunho taps the loudspeaker mode and puts his phone next to his ear. "So? Still want me to help you sleeping?"
"Guess I'm sleepy now," Jae laughs. "I'm looking at you, though."
"My hand on your waist, head upon yours..."
"I'm snuggling to your broad chest... You smells good."
"Jae, that tickles," Yunho pretends. Chuckling.
"Oops," Jae chuckles as he positioning himself just like what he said. Minus Yunho by his side. "Isn't this the moment when you supposed to kiss me good night?"
"Right," Yunho leans closer to his phone and makes an annoying nasty wet sound of smooch.
"EEEWWW!!!" Jaejoong makes a face. Faking to sound disgust.
"You said so."
"That's so not you," Jaejoong scrunched his eyebrows. Eyes fluttering close.
"If it was me, I'll turn you into insomniac in more pleasurable ways than one," Yunho slurs. Grinning. His eyes already closed."I can't wait for you to show me," Jae kisses his phone. "Good night, Yunho."
"I love you," Yunho replies. "Always in love with you..."
"You hear me," Jae smiles. "Love you too..."
Both of them fall into the most peaceful slumber they ever had in couple past years. Sleeping with smile. And awake in the next morning feeling happier than ever.
---
A/N: I'm the one who cannot sleep lately ;___; I think it's been going for a month. I tried to close my eyes but i cannot fall asleep before three am (it's getting worse for the past week. I slept after four am). After that I usually have few on and off sleeps. One or two hours of sleep then awake, one or two hours of sleep then awake, and on. Sucks ;____;
But at least my insomnia doesn't throw to a waste. This fic is the result between tossing and turning on the bed xD I'm highly aware of how a bad writer I am, soooo, please leave wonderful comments about this fic. Thank you ♥
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Length: Oneshot
Rating: PG
Genre: fluff, romance, drama
Summary: It's been the fourth day without sleep for Jung Yunho.
A/N: For @duckphin! Happy free days after exam babya! Hope you'll like it! :D
L O N E L I N E S S F O R S A L E
It's been the fourth day without sleep for Jung Yunho.
Another night spending with tossing and turning on his own bed until morning comes. He's tired. But it seems not enough for his body to call in sleep. He tries to shut his eyes tighter, using eye therapy mask, counting sheeps and stars, exercise harder, practice more, none of them able to make him fall asleep at night. He excused to manager to drink sleeping pills but the thick-glasses man refuses with death glare.
Jung Yunho is left frustrated.
As he rolls for the umpteenth time under his newly changed bed sheets - blue ocean colour. Changmin said it could stimulate body to be more relaxed - he thinks of why he becomes an insomnia. Backtracking his memories to the furthest. It must be somewhere beneath those layers of stage shows and hectic schedules. He sighs. Rubbing his head in frustration.
Four days ago he went drunk with some fellow old friends. League of people he already knew way back before his debut. Bottles of Soju and laughter filled the empty times, years of no meeting. Awkwardness evaporated. Replaced with nostalgia and cocky stories about recent business. Yunho laughed along, drank couple more of Soju before something on the tv caught his very eye.
Image of handsome guy in black hair and suit appeared for not over than three seconds. Flashing his shy smile to the camera. A familiar sight from a certain person.
Jaejoong's new drama commercial.
Yunho's laughter died.
He stood up. His eyes froze. Jaw dropped and gasping. A friend whispered What's wrong? but Yunho shook it away. I'm fine. he muttered as he slowly sat back on the chair. A gulp of Soju ran down his throat to calm his nerves. He took a deep breath.
Jaejoong looks... tired. His features had gone sharper though his eyes casted down. No smile projected there eventhough his lips were. When did he dye his hair black? Yunho remembered his orange-golden-blonde locks months ago. Probably still in this month. A little more before the showcase in Gwangju. He remembered again. Jaejoong wasn't in some sort of eating disease, were he? Yunho chewed his lower lip. His body looked thinner and his face was paler. How was he doing lately?
Yunho excused himself to go home earlier. Speeding up and reach the dorm in less than thirty minutes. He plopped himself on to the bed and think and remembering. Drifting in a nostalgia of a person he once loved.
Up to this night.
He blinks and sits on the bed. Back facing the headboard. Another sigh escapes. He must do something. He reaches for his phone and tapping it unlock. He scrolls through the names and numbers. Stopping at a particular set with a name he changed awhile ago.
Baby.
He hasn't change his numbers, right? No. He uses seven phones. Can't be. The dilemma comes. Press the call button or not? Yunho stares at the screen with eyebrows taut. Thinking of many possibilities. Would Jaejoong pick it up? Has he erased Yunho's number? What greetings should he say? Hello would make him sound like a stranger - which he highly aware of right now. Hi sounds okay. But will it gives an image of how he's been doing fine without Jaejoong around? No. He definitely doesn't want the other to think that he's in better position after he left. Since he's not.
Taking a deep breath, he presses the call button over Jaejoong's number. He clears his throat and brings the device up to his ear.
Riiiiing.
Riiiiing.
Riiiiing.
Riii- "Yoboseyo?"
The tone cuts off with a low-pitch answer. A voice he has known for years speaking back to him. He echoes "Yoboseyo" with lower voice than he expected.
"Who?"
"It's me. Yunho."
No voice. But he hears sound of scribbled papers and mouse clicks. Jaejoong must be staying late for composing. "You-, ah, sorry. You changed your number."
"Ah yeah. Sorry," Yunho rubs his nape nervously. "Well, how're you?"
"Ffine. I-, I guess," no. He's slurring. "You?"
"Not really...," he answers. "You're busy?"
"Making songs. You? Have you eaten?"
Yunho smiles. Jae still cares for him. "Sitting on my bed. Trying to fall asleep. Yes, I ate." He chuckles a bit. "Funny. You're the one who should eat."
"I ate!" Jae's tone a tad bit higher. "Wait, you... You haven't sleep yet?"
"Been sleepless for days," he huffs. Another rustling sounds heard from Jae. "Your insomnia moved, I think," Yunho chuckles.
"Wait. One minute."
Yunho listens to the line. Sounds of footsteps upon wooden floor. Click. Another click. Another click. Rustling sounds. Soft thud. More rustles.
"Yunho?" Jae asks. The other confirms his presence with a hum. "Why you can't sleep?"
"Are you somewhere other than your apartment? I remembered yours have marble tiles," Yunho frowns.
"At an inn just outside Seoul. Shooting," Jaejoong explains. "Hey, answer me."
"Can't sleep before six am," Yunho bites his lower lip. "No matter how I tried, how tired I am,... I just can't."
"Aah," Jaejoong nods. "Have you gone to the doctor? Taken sleeping pills?"
"No time. Manager forbids me to take any."
No sound. Yunho calls Jaejoong's name. The other replies.
"I think my bed misses you..."
Jae laughs.
"I'm serious!" but Yunho laughs along with him. "I'm sleeping in our shared bed actually..."
"Eeh what? I thought company have thrown it away years ago."
"They love to recycle, remember?" Jaejoong laughs harder on the other line. Yunho smiles. "Nah, I told them it was my bed and already too comfy with it. So they had to load it to new dorm."
"Oh, my...," Jae sniffs. His laugh slipping a bit. "You..."
"The bed is a part of us, right? I still remember those nights when I'll slip under your blanket. Using cold as an excuse..."
"So you can touch me. And hug me..."
"And do so much more...," his voice drops a tone.
Yunho could practically sense that Jaejoong is blushing on his bed. Hand over his mouth. His eyes closed. "Yunho ah..."
"I miss you...," Yunho blurts out. "Too much..."
They take a long pause for what feels like minutes. Just hearing each other's breathing. The sudden confession leaves both of them speechless. Yunho in his hopeful state and Jaejoong to his disbelief.
"I miss you too...," Jaejoong echoes. "I see your face everywhere but it's nowhere near enough... I-... I-..."
"You what?"
"I used to have you in my arms..."
Yunho could've just answer But you leave and points at Jae's biggest mistake ever. But no. This may be the only chance when he can speak to Jae without anything to interrupt them. He cannot ruin this moment with ego. "I know. I used to have you too..."
"I can't sleep either...," Jae slurs out. "Not without your chest to snuggle on, not without your hands on my waist, your breath on my neck... Even your head which always fell to my shoulder while we're on the plane..."
"Jae..."
"I'll shake it off during day. But everytime I come home late, seeing the unoccupied bed... I will cry myself to morning just because...," Jae hiccups. Sounds like he's sobbing over there. "Because it reminds me of how empty I am without you..."
"Ssshh," Yunho cooes him. "Don't cry, Boo. I'm here..."
"I'm being silly," Jaejoong says. "Loving and longing for someone who doesn't even call me..."
"I love you!" Yunho suddenly sits straight. "I can't call you because-"
"No matter...," Jae cuts him off. "No matter how much I love you, you're not in love with me anymore..."
Silence.
"You know what?" Yunho's back touches the soft mattress underneath him. Head resting on his other hand. Jae hums. "As silly as it may sounds... I always hope there'll be you among the crowd... I kept searching. Just your shadow. It's all I need. But I haven't found it to this day."
Yunho lets tears stain his face. Making path of transparent river to the pillow.
"I guess this is what lonely really is," Yunho snorts this time. "There're many people in the same space, but your heart is empty. Crying silently for its need to be filled."
"Yunho ah..."
"But tonight," Yunho smiles in relief. "It seems to find its long awaited content."
Jaejoong whispers. "I think, mine's too..."
Yunho taps the loudspeaker mode and puts his phone next to his ear. "So? Still want me to help you sleeping?"
"Guess I'm sleepy now," Jae laughs. "I'm looking at you, though."
"My hand on your waist, head upon yours..."
"I'm snuggling to your broad chest... You smells good."
"Jae, that tickles," Yunho pretends. Chuckling.
"Oops," Jae chuckles as he positioning himself just like what he said. Minus Yunho by his side. "Isn't this the moment when you supposed to kiss me good night?"
"Right," Yunho leans closer to his phone and makes an annoying nasty wet sound of smooch.
"EEEWWW!!!" Jaejoong makes a face. Faking to sound disgust.
"You said so."
"That's so not you," Jaejoong scrunched his eyebrows. Eyes fluttering close.
"If it was me, I'll turn you into insomniac in more pleasurable ways than one," Yunho slurs. Grinning. His eyes already closed."I can't wait for you to show me," Jae kisses his phone. "Good night, Yunho."
"I love you," Yunho replies. "Always in love with you..."
"You hear me," Jae smiles. "Love you too..."
Both of them fall into the most peaceful slumber they ever had in couple past years. Sleeping with smile. And awake in the next morning feeling happier than ever.
---
A/N: I'm the one who cannot sleep lately ;___; I think it's been going for a month. I tried to close my eyes but i cannot fall asleep before three am (it's getting worse for the past week. I slept after four am). After that I usually have few on and off sleeps. One or two hours of sleep then awake, one or two hours of sleep then awake, and on. Sucks ;____;
But at least my insomnia doesn't throw to a waste. This fic is the result between tossing and turning on the bed xD I'm highly aware of how a bad writer I am, soooo, please leave wonderful comments about this fic. Thank you ♥