trainwreck that i am (but i am what i am)
title: trainwreck that i am (but i am what i am)
pairing: Mark/Eduardo
rating: PG-13
author: reogulus
disclaimer: Nothing's mine.
word count: 951
notes: Ameteur description of the futures market; a bit heavy/angsty since it involves daddy issues; my Econ exam is blameworthy of any incoherency. A fill for the TFLN fic fest.
Title from Colorado Sunrise by 3OH!3.
Hey, I’m Eduardo Saverin. Nice to meet you.
The stranger wore a three-piece suit and a smile brighter than the buzzing fluorescent lights above, all delicate teeth and gentle brown eyes. This corner of the computer lab never sees daylight, but he smelt like the sun.
Mark's arm was extended at an exact 35 degree angle when he shook Eduardo’s hand without getting up from his chair.
//
Mark reads people in the same systematic and detail-oriented way he codes.
Each person is a flawed segment of code, the zeros and the ones make up the binary of their strengths and weaknesses, interwoven with every word and every action. It doesn’t take him long to find the bugs but none of them deserves to be debugged, none of them is worthwhile.
He didn’t know about Eduardo’s father until he’d been friends with Eduardo for over a year.
They were back at Mark’s dorm, having left their first AEPi party in sophomore year too early. Mark had just finished a twelve-hour coding session for CourseMatch before Dustin dragged him to the party, and the DJ’s horrid remixes only made his migraine worse. Mark’s throat was too dry to make a sound, so he only nodded when Eduardo offered to take him back. How he could have seen Mark getting pale in the dim light, Mark never knew.
“Did you drink any beer? Shots?” Eduardo asked him before propping his shoulders up against the pillow and holding the glass of water to Mark’s lips. He shook his head while taking a sip.
“Good. At least there isn’t alcohol in the mix of Red Bull and tuna - ” Eduardo frowned at the empty can he just picked up at the foot of the bed. “Mark. Did you know this thing is two months past the expiration date?”
Shit.
“I assume you were too engaged with coding to notice the smell,” Eduardo sighed.
I just have better focus than most people, besides, it was only one can, Mark tried to defend himself, but Eduardo shushed him and nudged at the half-full glass in his hand. He took a reluctant gulp and swallowed the words.
“Just drink lots of water for now,” Eduardo rubbed his temples. “Jesus Christ, Mark, will you ever learn how to take care of yourself?”
There was blame and frustration in the rhetorical question, but affectionate nonetheless. To Mark, Eduardo’s voice always sounded too soft, too pleasant, like the warm breeze blowing on the shore of Miami all year long. It made him drowsy, but he was too mesmerized to fall asleep. The soft yellow light of the desk lamp cast a tranquil shadow across Eduardo’s face, as he leaned closer to Mark. They shared each other’s breath for a quiet minute before Mark cleared his throat.
“I have you” was all he managed to say.
Eduardo smiled, but it didn’t make it to his eyes. Mark could see the sadness, masked under the hazy yellow, lost in some distant memory that Mark could not touch. He could feel the floodgate opening as Eduardo’s breathing became heavier and bit his bottom lip.
Mark waited with new-found patience until Eduardo was ready to look him in the eye. The silence in the room crumbled.
“It’s nice to know that I’m worth having. Sometimes my own father makes me forget that,” Eduardo exhaled and looked away, once again. Mark could almost hear Eduardo’s thoughts line up as he debated how to start.
“You know I was trading oil futures this summer. My mom helped me a bit with the security deposit I needed to pay for the contract. It was her own money and it should be none of his business, but...” Eduardo chuckled bitterly. It sounded more like a choke. “He found out last night and called me. Said he’d beat some sense into me the next time I waste money like that, but I know he wouldn’t. He doesn’t care enough to talk to me without hanging up on me after three minutes. A little ironic, since the maturity date was last Wednesday and I was about to tell him I made $300,000.
“Well, you’d think controlling parents are just the ones who spend all of their time to try and shape their kids into their version of success, but my father is far too cold and egotistical for that. His time and energy are first invested in himself, then his business ventures, and by the end of it, he has nothing to spare for me. He’d want me to be alive ‘till I graduate, I guess, since a Harvard alumnus is more valuable than a dead dropout. I mean, from his perspective, I can see why this would be a legit concern.”
Eduardo paused, and smiled widely with glimmer in his eyes. “I need at least another three decades to prove to him that I am more than a piece of birth certificate.”
“No,” Mark croaked, and grabbed Eduardo’s arm so abruptly that his best friend jerked a little from his touch, “Wardo, if you do it for yourself, you won’t even need three years. I promise.”
Suddenly it was Eduardo who had difficulty speaking. Mark waited for him to get himself together, holding Eduardo’s palm in his fingers.
“Thanks, Mark,” his voice broke as Mark squeezed his hand. “You have no idea how much this means to me.”
And that was the precise moment at which they learned to read each other.
//
“You have no idea how much that’s going to mean to my father,” Eduardo’s face was lit up by the vast blue on the webpage.
If there was any disappointment in Mark’s reply, he could not have shown it.
end.
pairing: Mark/Eduardo
rating: PG-13
author: reogulus
disclaimer: Nothing's mine.
word count: 951
notes: Ameteur description of the futures market; a bit heavy/angsty since it involves daddy issues; my Econ exam is blameworthy of any incoherency. A fill for the TFLN fic fest.
Title from Colorado Sunrise by 3OH!3.
Hey, I’m Eduardo Saverin. Nice to meet you.
The stranger wore a three-piece suit and a smile brighter than the buzzing fluorescent lights above, all delicate teeth and gentle brown eyes. This corner of the computer lab never sees daylight, but he smelt like the sun.
Mark's arm was extended at an exact 35 degree angle when he shook Eduardo’s hand without getting up from his chair.
//
Mark reads people in the same systematic and detail-oriented way he codes.
Each person is a flawed segment of code, the zeros and the ones make up the binary of their strengths and weaknesses, interwoven with every word and every action. It doesn’t take him long to find the bugs but none of them deserves to be debugged, none of them is worthwhile.
He didn’t know about Eduardo’s father until he’d been friends with Eduardo for over a year.
They were back at Mark’s dorm, having left their first AEPi party in sophomore year too early. Mark had just finished a twelve-hour coding session for CourseMatch before Dustin dragged him to the party, and the DJ’s horrid remixes only made his migraine worse. Mark’s throat was too dry to make a sound, so he only nodded when Eduardo offered to take him back. How he could have seen Mark getting pale in the dim light, Mark never knew.
“Did you drink any beer? Shots?” Eduardo asked him before propping his shoulders up against the pillow and holding the glass of water to Mark’s lips. He shook his head while taking a sip.
“Good. At least there isn’t alcohol in the mix of Red Bull and tuna - ” Eduardo frowned at the empty can he just picked up at the foot of the bed. “Mark. Did you know this thing is two months past the expiration date?”
Shit.
“I assume you were too engaged with coding to notice the smell,” Eduardo sighed.
I just have better focus than most people, besides, it was only one can, Mark tried to defend himself, but Eduardo shushed him and nudged at the half-full glass in his hand. He took a reluctant gulp and swallowed the words.
“Just drink lots of water for now,” Eduardo rubbed his temples. “Jesus Christ, Mark, will you ever learn how to take care of yourself?”
There was blame and frustration in the rhetorical question, but affectionate nonetheless. To Mark, Eduardo’s voice always sounded too soft, too pleasant, like the warm breeze blowing on the shore of Miami all year long. It made him drowsy, but he was too mesmerized to fall asleep. The soft yellow light of the desk lamp cast a tranquil shadow across Eduardo’s face, as he leaned closer to Mark. They shared each other’s breath for a quiet minute before Mark cleared his throat.
“I have you” was all he managed to say.
Eduardo smiled, but it didn’t make it to his eyes. Mark could see the sadness, masked under the hazy yellow, lost in some distant memory that Mark could not touch. He could feel the floodgate opening as Eduardo’s breathing became heavier and bit his bottom lip.
Mark waited with new-found patience until Eduardo was ready to look him in the eye. The silence in the room crumbled.
“It’s nice to know that I’m worth having. Sometimes my own father makes me forget that,” Eduardo exhaled and looked away, once again. Mark could almost hear Eduardo’s thoughts line up as he debated how to start.
“You know I was trading oil futures this summer. My mom helped me a bit with the security deposit I needed to pay for the contract. It was her own money and it should be none of his business, but...” Eduardo chuckled bitterly. It sounded more like a choke. “He found out last night and called me. Said he’d beat some sense into me the next time I waste money like that, but I know he wouldn’t. He doesn’t care enough to talk to me without hanging up on me after three minutes. A little ironic, since the maturity date was last Wednesday and I was about to tell him I made $300,000.
“Well, you’d think controlling parents are just the ones who spend all of their time to try and shape their kids into their version of success, but my father is far too cold and egotistical for that. His time and energy are first invested in himself, then his business ventures, and by the end of it, he has nothing to spare for me. He’d want me to be alive ‘till I graduate, I guess, since a Harvard alumnus is more valuable than a dead dropout. I mean, from his perspective, I can see why this would be a legit concern.”
Eduardo paused, and smiled widely with glimmer in his eyes. “I need at least another three decades to prove to him that I am more than a piece of birth certificate.”
“No,” Mark croaked, and grabbed Eduardo’s arm so abruptly that his best friend jerked a little from his touch, “Wardo, if you do it for yourself, you won’t even need three years. I promise.”
Suddenly it was Eduardo who had difficulty speaking. Mark waited for him to get himself together, holding Eduardo’s palm in his fingers.
“Thanks, Mark,” his voice broke as Mark squeezed his hand. “You have no idea how much this means to me.”
And that was the precise moment at which they learned to read each other.
//
“You have no idea how much that’s going to mean to my father,” Eduardo’s face was lit up by the vast blue on the webpage.
If there was any disappointment in Mark’s reply, he could not have shown it.
end.