tell me the purpose of patience. i have a picture of how happy i can look, in an embrace. transform all of my stills into always. changing lovers, changing time zones--the difference is negligible. i'm forced to accept a path that many others have traveled. again, the difference is negligible. i have an unmade bed.
i have all of the symptoms: lonely, when i am not, forced into misery, afraid of dissipation, analytical to a fault, confused.
everyone lets go. no one holds on. the right words, the wrong actions. action. i don't live in a fucking movie. i can wish until i'm dead, and that is the point, isn't it
( ... )
the blur of traffic from the sidewalk. the anticipation of the smell while passing a bakery. looking up when everyone else is looking ahead. submersion. smiling to the point of ache. fitting perfectly in the slope between their neck and shoulder. knowing what to do with the other arm. the way i look see myself in the morning on a good day. putting forth the effort. losing sleep over you.
"you shouldn't worry about his happiness when it involves hurting yourself." life lesson #4,782
what are we reduced to--loathing the time spent alone, finding substitutes for emptiness. filling up what is spilling out, simultaneously. alone, in a room where the reverb of your own breathing frightens you, to barely being able to hear a thought through the seizing frequencies of a crowded establishment. stale air catching breaths, smoke blurring vision, losing track of time staring at a blank screen, losing track of time forgetting there is such a thing. until you step back in your house, to fall into bed, hoping the hangover won't impair you from another night of forgetting what is unforgettable.
this is all inconsequential. what is the one thing we all have painfully in common? i do not want to spend my time simply trying to pass it.
Comments 20
tell me the purpose of patience. i have a picture of how happy i can look, in an embrace. transform all of my stills into always. changing lovers, changing time zones--the difference is negligible. i'm forced to accept a path that many others have traveled. again, the difference is negligible. i have an unmade bed.
i have all of the symptoms: lonely, when i am not, forced into misery, afraid of dissipation, analytical to a fault, confused.
everyone lets go. no one holds on. the right words, the wrong actions. action. i don't live in a fucking movie. i can wish until i'm dead, and that is the point, isn't it ( ... )
Reply
everything you and i say is empty.
you and i say everything is empty.
empty and i say everything is you.
and everything empty is you i say.
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the blur of traffic from the sidewalk. the anticipation of the smell while passing a bakery. looking up when everyone else is looking ahead. submersion. smiling to the point of ache. fitting perfectly in the slope between their neck and shoulder. knowing what to do with the other arm. the way i look see myself in the morning on a good day. putting forth the effort. losing sleep over you.
"you shouldn't worry about his happiness when it involves hurting yourself."
life lesson #4,782
Reply
what are we reduced to--loathing the time spent alone, finding substitutes for emptiness. filling up what is spilling out, simultaneously. alone, in a room where the reverb of your own breathing frightens you, to barely being able to hear a thought through the seizing frequencies of a crowded establishment. stale air catching breaths, smoke blurring vision, losing track of time staring at a blank screen, losing track of time forgetting there is such a thing. until you step back in your house, to fall into bed, hoping the hangover won't impair you from another night of forgetting what is unforgettable.
this is all inconsequential. what is the one thing we all have painfully in common? i do not want to spend my time simply trying to pass it.
Reply
(it is all i do.)
i want.
Reply
you left me.
Reply
i'm flattered,
you always pick birds who look like me.
Reply
can i be your type, your donor while you die?
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