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I have been a lurker on the site before I became a member but the whole time I have admired everything you have done. I whole heartedly believe that while tensions were high, you never damaged Kindreds or its integrity. To me, you strived to make this a safe place for Sharon/Helo fans and I will always be grateful for that. This was your baby and it saddens me that you are leaving since you made it such a wonderful place to visit. but I respect your decision and you. You are taking the high ride and I find it admirable. I must admit that while I liked the character Boomer, I loved Athena and thought that some of the posts in the forum blatantly went against the reason you started Kindreds. Thank you very much, Jeff, for all that you have done.
I'm posting this as an example of some of the emails I have gotten, some questioning and hurt, most supportive of my actions and decisions. I still need to reply to all of them, but I haven't yet. I wanted to thank everyone who has written, even if I'm not sane enough right now to respond. I'm just too angry to do so.
I'm as angry now as I was when mrush came to Hidden Elysium a few years back and started spewing her garbage. The similarities between this event and that one are actually pretty remarkable. We have one person repeating the same tired rhetoric repeatedly in a forum where it was clearly unsuited. A person who not once, or twice, but multiple times has had issues with members because of this. And the record should clearly show - this person has had these same issues with not just me, but other members of the site.
It's funny though, how clearly I remember everyone jumping to mrush's support back then. How quickly everyone came down on me. I don't think anyone would argue that I was wrong about mrush today, though. I remember all the same sayings too - "this doesn't really cross the line" or "that's not really that bad". Remember? And then somewhere, at about the 500th time you've heard it, you realize - "Wait...this person is a piece of ****." Of course there are always the ironic comments that come from the haters - "It's just a show, and they are fictional characters." You actually hate a fictional character? Enough to go to place that loves them and write repeatedly about how much you hate them? That one makes me laugh. It's even funnier when the reaction of some "neutral" observers changes when the target is their own favorite.
I think a lot of people want to write this whole episode off as me just over-reacting again. A lot happened behind the scenes that most people will never know about. I won't comment on what the others could have done differently, but looking back, I made one mistake that I think I could have changed. I sent an angry email to two parties who I thought might help me resolve the issues I had with this member's behavior, hoping that there could be a private resolution, and I failed to communicate effectively in that email. I thought that since the two parties I was sending it too had agreed that this member had gone over the line recently, they would understand where I was coming from. One party agreed with the comments of my email, the other party took deep offense to what I had written. I tried to resolve the issue from that point by seeking advice from both parties.
But that email was my mistake, and the only thing I would change in the entire course of events is clicking send. It was a horrible misjudgment of relationships. I take responsibility for letting my emotions getting the better of me and writing to two people who I thought would understand my frustrations. I thought I was channeling my anger and frustration over this repeat offender in a private manner that would help lead to some resolution. I understood why one of the parties was offended, and sought repeatedly to communicate with that person to try and resolve the issue. Sadly, I was never given the opportunity.
But the fact remains and I'm sorry but it's true...
I'm right. I was right about mrush, when you all told me I was wrong, and I'm right now. There are those that add to the world, and those that take. Those that feel the need to build, and those that feel the need to tear down.
The name Kindreds does not refer to Helo and Sharon. It was about finding kindred spirits who wanted to build up and add to our enjoyment of the show and characters. It was to be a hate free zone. I laughably read a post recently, where this member in question said "I didn't see the word hate used". As if that was somehow the measure of it. Some people will say, "Well aren't you being hateful towards these people?". The answer is no. I'm angry. People that love each other can be angry with one another. You all are welcome to be angry at me right now, reading this. But right now I'm angry about people that feel they have the right to walk over into your garden and take a shit on your flowers.
I'm not sure about the rest of you, but isn't it odd how things like these never happen in real life? I've been pondering it, I've come to two conclusions regarding that. The first is that in the real world I don't associate with people that don't care for others. It's a simple filter, one of I'm barely even conscious of. If all you care about is you, then I want nothing to do with you. The second is that most people don't dare shit on someone else's garden in real life. It's only in this artificial world that people think they can get away with it. The same way people will honk at each other on the freeway for no good reason, or yell a curse as they drive by, but amplified many times over.
I won't say that's my peace, because I'm anything but peaceful. I'm still angry. And I'm still right. The responsibility is shared, even if I'm the only one honest enough to step up and take mine.
I'm posting this as an example of some of the emails I have gotten, some questioning and hurt, most supportive of my actions and decisions. I still need to reply to all of them, but I haven't yet. I wanted to thank everyone who has written, even if I'm not sane enough right now to respond. I'm just too angry to do so.
I'm as angry now as I was when mrush came to Hidden Elysium a few years back and started spewing her garbage. The similarities between this event and that one are actually pretty remarkable. We have one person repeating the same tired rhetoric repeatedly in a forum where it was clearly unsuited. A person who not once, or twice, but multiple times has had issues with members because of this. And the record should clearly show - this person has had these same issues with not just me, but other members of the site.
It's funny though, how clearly I remember everyone jumping to mrush's support back then. How quickly everyone came down on me. I don't think anyone would argue that I was wrong about mrush today, though. I remember all the same sayings too - "this doesn't really cross the line" or "that's not really that bad". Remember? And then somewhere, at about the 500th time you've heard it, you realize - "Wait...this person is a piece of ****." Of course there are always the ironic comments that come from the haters - "It's just a show, and they are fictional characters." You actually hate a fictional character? Enough to go to place that loves them and write repeatedly about how much you hate them? That one makes me laugh. It's even funnier when the reaction of some "neutral" observers changes when the target is their own favorite.
I think a lot of people want to write this whole episode off as me just over-reacting again. A lot happened behind the scenes that most people will never know about. I won't comment on what the others could have done differently, but looking back, I made one mistake that I think I could have changed. I sent an angry email to two parties who I thought might help me resolve the issues I had with this member's behavior, hoping that there could be a private resolution, and I failed to communicate effectively in that email. I thought that since the two parties I was sending it too had agreed that this member had gone over the line recently, they would understand where I was coming from. One party agreed with the comments of my email, the other party took deep offense to what I had written. I tried to resolve the issue from that point by seeking advice from both parties.
But that email was my mistake, and the only thing I would change in the entire course of events is clicking send. It was a horrible misjudgment of relationships. I take responsibility for letting my emotions getting the better of me and writing to two people who I thought would understand my frustrations. I thought I was channeling my anger and frustration over this repeat offender in a private manner that would help lead to some resolution. I understood why one of the parties was offended, and sought repeatedly to communicate with that person to try and resolve the issue. Sadly, I was never given the opportunity.
But the fact remains and I'm sorry but it's true...
I'm right. I was right about mrush, when you all told me I was wrong, and I'm right now. There are those that add to the world, and those that take. Those that feel the need to build, and those that feel the need to tear down.
The name Kindreds does not refer to Helo and Sharon. It was about finding kindred spirits who wanted to build up and add to our enjoyment of the show and characters. It was to be a hate free zone. I laughably read a post recently, where this member in question said "I didn't see the word hate used". As if that was somehow the measure of it. Some people will say, "Well aren't you being hateful towards these people?". The answer is no. I'm angry. People that love each other can be angry with one another. You all are welcome to be angry at me right now, reading this. But right now I'm angry about people that feel they have the right to walk over into your garden and take a shit on your flowers.
I'm not sure about the rest of you, but isn't it odd how things like these never happen in real life? I've been pondering it, I've come to two conclusions regarding that. The first is that in the real world I don't associate with people that don't care for others. It's a simple filter, one of I'm barely even conscious of. If all you care about is you, then I want nothing to do with you. The second is that most people don't dare shit on someone else's garden in real life. It's only in this artificial world that people think they can get away with it. The same way people will honk at each other on the freeway for no good reason, or yell a curse as they drive by, but amplified many times over.
I won't say that's my peace, because I'm anything but peaceful. I'm still angry. And I'm still right. The responsibility is shared, even if I'm the only one honest enough to step up and take mine.