(no subject)
I sent Richardson my letter to resign as well as go inactive from KKPsi. And then I cried. A lot.
Brothers -
I want you to know that I love most of you and care for you more than I think you understand. You were and are my friends long before you were my brothers and that makes all the difference.
This year has been a particularly difficult one. I don’t mean to say that my issues and problems are any worse than anyone else’s only that I don’t seem to deal with them the same way as others. I’ve been struggling since June with trying to get my life back on track. Many of you already know this - since, I’ve been talking to a counselor regularly and only recently have I gotten off medication. Thank you, to those of you that where there for me the weekend I backslid - for staying with me and not asking questions, for offering to take me to the hospital and staying up and talking tome until God knows when because all I needed was to cry and be told by friends that everything will be alright, even when I couldn’t see it. But I think it’s finally come to a point where I need to think about what’s best for me and stop threatening what I’ve been battling with for months.
I love Kappa Kappa Psi. I love the fellowship, love, duty, music and all the other principles in which the fraternity was founded. So don’t think that I don’t love this fraternity, because if that’s what you think, you’re very much mistaken. But since August I’ve seen a steady decline in these traits in Kappa Beta. We’ve hurt one another, exorcised one another - not only on a business and fraternal level, but on personal ones. We’ve all shirked our duties in some way (and I don’t exclude myself from that). I’m sure many of you are rolling your eyes now - thinking that I’m getting on a soapbox and being mellow dramatic. And if that’s what you think, I can’t stop you. Nor will I try to change your opinions, just state my own.
I am not leaving KKPsi because I am weak. I am not running away nor has any other activity taken precedence over this fraternity. KKPsi is my first love and will remain that way. I am leaving because the chapter as I see it now is not the support it once was for me - the way we treat one another in “business” matters as well as personal has changed dramatically. I can’t deal with my own things right now as well as watch us continually berate and battle one another. No one should leave chapter in tears. No one should be afraid to come into a circle of brothers. But that’s happened so many times already this year…
I think…I KNOW that the chapter has the ability to pull out of this - to change this mindset and mentality - especially considering how well we all started off. That is, if you want to. Things will change with the induction of the Rhos. It will change again in May when you graduate. I have the full and every intention of coming back to Kappa Beta in the fall. I’m sorry if in any of your eyes that I’ve let you down, but I know ultimately friends will remain friends regardless of their status of brotherhood.
So here is both my letter of inactivity as well as my letter of resignation. I hope that whoever is the next alumni secretary continues to strive to reconnect with those no longer in the active chapter. The alumni are an integral part of our history and we could all learn from them and how they’ve dealt with obstacles in the past. Please do not let the work that’s been started fall to waste. The groundwork has already been laid for retreat - take this opportunity to learn from the past and work to reconstruct a better future, not only for us now but for the incoming classes.
Always yours -
Amy “Jersey” Carroll
Kappa Beta, Omicron, Spring ‘07
Type your cut contents here.