Yeah. It's just going to be a long struggle to get back to where I was. Teaching cert, references, etc. I've been out too long to just ask my old profs, not to mention the manner in which I left. There's a long scar in the ground where I augured in here. It's just gonna take time.
2 - I've had several careers. The most recent one is a successful academic career which I started pretty much from scratch when I was 35. I already had a degree, but it was a science degree and now I'm a philosopher. And before you assume that I'm very chipper while you're depressive, that's not the case at all. Partly I was just lucky. Anyway, the point I want to make is that 35 is not too late to start again. I don't know how old you are, but I'm guessing you can't be much older than that.
3 - I remember my students from a very long time ago. The trick is just to remind your old professors about yourself when you contact them to ask for references. (Excuse me if that's obvious, but some people don't do it.) Then they'll write you good references. Unless you actually smashed up all their cars or something :-/
I get you. Honestly, the thought of some form of public service job (which is only a half-step away from what I'm doing right now anyway) has not failed to enter my mind. My father served in the fire department for most of his professional life, and I'm starting to understand why.
It's easy to keep going when events and circumstances are thrust upon you. The hard part is doing things, from scratch, with intent. I still have no idea how I pulled off The Frogs.
My heart goes out to you. In many ways, we're constantly looking into the same sort of mirror. I pulled out a silver hair yesterday and started to cry -- not because of some form of misplaced vanity, but because I didn't feel I'd done anything to earn it. I'm 30 in less than a year, with no degree, no children, no real job, and no real publications. It's hard to tell myself that I'm working at my own pace, that I've a reason for the "late-blooming" nonsense, that I shouldn't compare my life to anyone else's. Hard. HARD. Particularly looking at my younger(!) brother and husband with their many achievements. Looking at what my parents were doing by now. Hell, looking at everyone. And to get passed that to crack the egg of what I really want to be doing? Harder
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Your suggestions are definitely in the vein of things that occur to me, and I'm grateful to see that someone else sees the problem in the vague half-light that I do. The hard part, of course, is implementing them. Lists are very difficult for me. Which is to say, I spend more energy on the list itself than on accomplishing the tasks therein. When I had an iPaq, things were a bit better, because I didn't have to spend so much energy transferring uncompleted items to the next list. I have been thinking about getting that back into service, but to do so is very non-trivial and requires that my brain move in that direction, which is not a guarantee I can make.
Which brings me to the main crux of why I'm where I am now: I let it all collapse. I had all of this structure, and then when I went off meds, it imploded on itself because I couldn't handle the things on my plate and all the support work necessary to maintain it. To wit, the "job" thing is not so much a reflection of how I define myself, but a factor of how my time is spent
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Though, thanks for the reality check. :)
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2 - I've had several careers. The most recent one is a successful academic career which I started pretty much from scratch when I was 35. I already had a degree, but it was a science degree and now I'm a philosopher. And before you assume that I'm very chipper while you're depressive, that's not the case at all. Partly I was just lucky. Anyway, the point I want to make is that 35 is not too late to start again. I don't know how old you are, but I'm guessing you can't be much older than that.
3 - I remember my students from a very long time ago. The trick is just to remind your old professors about yourself when you contact them to ask for references. (Excuse me if that's obvious, but some people don't do it.) Then they'll write you good references. Unless you actually smashed up all their cars or something :-/
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It's easy to keep going when events and circumstances are thrust upon you. The hard part is doing things, from scratch, with intent. I still have no idea how I pulled off The Frogs.
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You're fine. You're gonna be fine. Everything's gonna be ok.
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Which brings me to the main crux of why I'm where I am now: I let it all collapse. I had all of this structure, and then when I went off meds, it imploded on itself because I couldn't handle the things on my plate and all the support work necessary to maintain it. To wit, the "job" thing is not so much a reflection of how I define myself, but a factor of how my time is spent ( ... )
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