I don't know if it is good or not...
Last night...well...
After dinner last night, Aya and I went out for a walk since it was a beautiful night. It had been hot all day yesterday but, last night was wonderful.
As we walked along the street, Aya wrapped his arms around mine. I didn't think much of it. Aya is a very touch-heavy person. I noticed, though, how nice his delicate fingers felt as they touched along my arm. And I noticed how his body seemed to shiver as he leaned against me. This drew my eyes to him, of course.
"Aya...are you sick?" I asked. He had definately shivered, I couldn't imagine why. It wasn't cold out at all.
He shook his head. His dark eyes turned up at me. It was summer now, his eyes were turning the color of a clear blue sky, gradually. At the moment, they were the softest lavender. I felt something hard gather in my throat.
"Zeek...do you like my dress?" He asked. His voice had something new to it - nervousness? No, it was impossible. Aya didn't know what it meant to be nervous.
I nodded. He did look lovely. He wore a light, airy summer dress - bright red, which was a color I didn't often see him in. With his new haircut, much wilder than others he's had, he looked so exotic. And shoes...well, sometimes I forget but, looking at those heels, I remembered quite clearly I am a man. I hated it but, I couldn't keep my eyes from following his legs for miles.
His cheeks flushed a little.
"I'm glad...I wore it for you, you know..."
"Me...?"
I was so confused.
He nodded. His feet suddenly stopped. He held to my arm tightly still, forcing me to stop where I was as well, not that I would have kept walking without him.
"Zeek...I...These past few weeks...living in your house...have been the happiest of my whole life!" He hesitated at first, but that last part shot out like a bullet and hit its target dead on.
I jumped a little at first. But, maybe it was because we had all been able to be together again. It had been so long. Yeah, that was probably it.
"Mine too. I've really liked being able to see everyone again."
He shut his eyes. He looked...frustrated? And he shook his head.
"No...not because of that. Zeek, even if it was just pretend...I got to be your wife. Cooking, cleaning, taking care of the family...all for you. That's all I've ever wanted to do, ever since I met you eight hundred years ago. Stop being so dense. You know how much I love you. You know everytime I look at you, I feel weak in the knees. You know that even...even when I am with other men, all I can think of is you! Stop playing dumb!"
I was...well, dumbfounded. I knew...he had loved me once but, still? I thought he had gotten over that. That and then, I couldn't completely deny that having him there, acting that way, I hadn't been happy myself. But, there couldn't be anything in our future. We were made for completely seperate goals. Yet...he didn't seem to care, did he?
He turned to face me. His hand moved up to grasp the pendant around my neck.
"You wear this everyday. It's...mine, isn't it?" He whispered. I could hear tears in his voice.
I nodded. He had me pinned there. Ever since he gave it to me, I felt I could never take it off. I don't know why. It just seemed natural to wear it.
"Zeek...I..."
And then he really caught me. Before I knew right from left, he put his hands on either side of my face, lifting his lips to press against mine. His lips were so sweet, like strawberries with a hint of cherry blossom. I was so startled, though. All I could do was stare at him. My heart pounded so loudly, I was afraid the whole world could hear it.
He lowered himself, looking up into my eyes.
"You didn't like that...did you?"
I shook my head. On the contrary, I did. What startled me the most, was how natural it felt. I suppose, I wasn't expecting that. And that made me wonder, what if I had been longing for him all these years too? What if and I just hadn't allowed myself to realize it?
"I..think I could stand to try that again..though." I said, I had to be sure. Was there really that feeling in our kiss? Or was it my imagination?
I leaned it, bringing my arm around his waist. A real kiss this time, one that is worth everything he's worth to me. My other hand on his cheek, our lips met firmly this time. Such sweet, passionate lips. And the kiss...felt so right. It felt as though it were the most natural thing in the world for us to be kissing like this. Deepening it felt just as good and natural. Our tongues touched shyly.
When we finally broke apart, he stumbled back a little. I caught him with that arm around his waist. For the first time in all the years I'd known him, Aya was speechless.
We looked at each other for a very long time, trying to make heads or tales of the situation. I don't know exactly how much time passed, it could have been hours for all I know.
The silence was finally broken of course by him.
"Tell me...I am not the only one who thought that felt very, very right?" He whispered.
"You aren't. Aya...Do you think maybe I could be in love with you too?"
His eyes focused on me.
"That is something only you can answer, Zeek. But, why don't we start with an easier question first. Do you think it is entirely out of the realm of possibility that you would spend the night with me? And by that, I mean...make love with me?"
It took me a long while to answer that one, but I did.
And we ended up falling asleep in a secluded part of the woods that our walk led us to, after making love like we were teenagers again.
I don't know yet if we should have done what we did. I don't know if I can be what he needs me to be...and I don't know if Aya will ever be tame enough for me. But, that is what happened.
After dinner last night, Aya and I went out for a walk since it was a beautiful night. It had been hot all day yesterday but, last night was wonderful.
As we walked along the street, Aya wrapped his arms around mine. I didn't think much of it. Aya is a very touch-heavy person. I noticed, though, how nice his delicate fingers felt as they touched along my arm. And I noticed how his body seemed to shiver as he leaned against me. This drew my eyes to him, of course.
"Aya...are you sick?" I asked. He had definately shivered, I couldn't imagine why. It wasn't cold out at all.
He shook his head. His dark eyes turned up at me. It was summer now, his eyes were turning the color of a clear blue sky, gradually. At the moment, they were the softest lavender. I felt something hard gather in my throat.
"Zeek...do you like my dress?" He asked. His voice had something new to it - nervousness? No, it was impossible. Aya didn't know what it meant to be nervous.
I nodded. He did look lovely. He wore a light, airy summer dress - bright red, which was a color I didn't often see him in. With his new haircut, much wilder than others he's had, he looked so exotic. And shoes...well, sometimes I forget but, looking at those heels, I remembered quite clearly I am a man. I hated it but, I couldn't keep my eyes from following his legs for miles.
His cheeks flushed a little.
"I'm glad...I wore it for you, you know..."
"Me...?"
I was so confused.
He nodded. His feet suddenly stopped. He held to my arm tightly still, forcing me to stop where I was as well, not that I would have kept walking without him.
"Zeek...I...These past few weeks...living in your house...have been the happiest of my whole life!" He hesitated at first, but that last part shot out like a bullet and hit its target dead on.
I jumped a little at first. But, maybe it was because we had all been able to be together again. It had been so long. Yeah, that was probably it.
"Mine too. I've really liked being able to see everyone again."
He shut his eyes. He looked...frustrated? And he shook his head.
"No...not because of that. Zeek, even if it was just pretend...I got to be your wife. Cooking, cleaning, taking care of the family...all for you. That's all I've ever wanted to do, ever since I met you eight hundred years ago. Stop being so dense. You know how much I love you. You know everytime I look at you, I feel weak in the knees. You know that even...even when I am with other men, all I can think of is you! Stop playing dumb!"
I was...well, dumbfounded. I knew...he had loved me once but, still? I thought he had gotten over that. That and then, I couldn't completely deny that having him there, acting that way, I hadn't been happy myself. But, there couldn't be anything in our future. We were made for completely seperate goals. Yet...he didn't seem to care, did he?
He turned to face me. His hand moved up to grasp the pendant around my neck.
"You wear this everyday. It's...mine, isn't it?" He whispered. I could hear tears in his voice.
I nodded. He had me pinned there. Ever since he gave it to me, I felt I could never take it off. I don't know why. It just seemed natural to wear it.
"Zeek...I..."
And then he really caught me. Before I knew right from left, he put his hands on either side of my face, lifting his lips to press against mine. His lips were so sweet, like strawberries with a hint of cherry blossom. I was so startled, though. All I could do was stare at him. My heart pounded so loudly, I was afraid the whole world could hear it.
He lowered himself, looking up into my eyes.
"You didn't like that...did you?"
I shook my head. On the contrary, I did. What startled me the most, was how natural it felt. I suppose, I wasn't expecting that. And that made me wonder, what if I had been longing for him all these years too? What if and I just hadn't allowed myself to realize it?
"I..think I could stand to try that again..though." I said, I had to be sure. Was there really that feeling in our kiss? Or was it my imagination?
I leaned it, bringing my arm around his waist. A real kiss this time, one that is worth everything he's worth to me. My other hand on his cheek, our lips met firmly this time. Such sweet, passionate lips. And the kiss...felt so right. It felt as though it were the most natural thing in the world for us to be kissing like this. Deepening it felt just as good and natural. Our tongues touched shyly.
When we finally broke apart, he stumbled back a little. I caught him with that arm around his waist. For the first time in all the years I'd known him, Aya was speechless.
We looked at each other for a very long time, trying to make heads or tales of the situation. I don't know exactly how much time passed, it could have been hours for all I know.
The silence was finally broken of course by him.
"Tell me...I am not the only one who thought that felt very, very right?" He whispered.
"You aren't. Aya...Do you think maybe I could be in love with you too?"
His eyes focused on me.
"That is something only you can answer, Zeek. But, why don't we start with an easier question first. Do you think it is entirely out of the realm of possibility that you would spend the night with me? And by that, I mean...make love with me?"
It took me a long while to answer that one, but I did.
And we ended up falling asleep in a secluded part of the woods that our walk led us to, after making love like we were teenagers again.
I don't know yet if we should have done what we did. I don't know if I can be what he needs me to be...and I don't know if Aya will ever be tame enough for me. But, that is what happened.