Comments | respicefinem08: Vengeance (part 14)

respicefinem08

Vengeance (part 14)

Nov 25, 2007 01:36

“Jian,” Feilong kneeled so that he could look at the boy at eye-level, “Look at me?” The young boy raised his head slowly, his eyes looking up from the floor to Feilong. “Jian...” he whispered again, prepared to say the inevitable words to the young boy.

Suddenly, Jian broke into sobs, his body shaking in uneven rhythm, ( Read more... )

vengeance

Comments 8

paranoia_woman November 25 2007, 01:29:22 UTC

This part is good but left me wanting more so I'm glad for the double release you did. Poor Svetlana, Daddy was such a bastard to her just because he wasn't the her biological Father.
Kaito's made a date with a girl? I wonder how that will end. I believe you said in a previous chapter that he and Takaba won't be getting together but I did wonder if you would keep to that or... (=^_^=)
Thanks for the great read.

photoash November 25 2007, 02:58:34 UTC

So umm.. maybe I'm odd but I'd kind of hoped Takaba would hook up with someone ina ll of this... and hoped maybe Kaito... but I guess that's a no for now..

Interesting but wow you really are weaving things farther and farther afield. If you're not going to make Kaito be a love interest do we care about learning that much more about him?

I was alittle confused on the Svetlana past part with her father why was he beating her? It almost sounded like she was pregnant or just because she wasn't his daughter?

respicefinem08 November 25 2007, 10:11:52 UTC

Svetlana's situation will come into light with the next situation and Kaito's situation as well...I don't have so far planned ahead but alas! there is a purporse for these two kekeke (evil laughter)

sueona November 25 2007, 07:49:50 UTC

Wow, this chapter was good. I love how you have the emotions of the characters. This chapter did leave me wanting more and glad you have another chapter up.

Oh, I like how you have Fei Long in this chapter. It was great how you described his emotions. Very good.

respicefinem08 November 25 2007, 10:12:35 UTC

thank you! Fei Long, I'm afraid, isn't one of my favorite characters and hence I find it very difficult to write him...but I hope I delivered!

sakura27 November 25 2007, 19:52:36 UTC

I love how you portrait Feilong's paternal side... Lots of mystery yet to be unraveled!!! I'm off to Ch. 15! *clicks next tab*

respicefinem08 November 25 2007, 20:04:07 UTC

*wink* I thought Feilong deserved some attention right about now

(The comment has been removed)

respicefinem08 June 12 2008, 15:22:56 UTC

Er.... I dunno.