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[restless_jedi]

It's just. I don't know if it's the season, or my recent change in what hours I keep, or something else. But. I want a new life. I want to not wish that I had different friends than I do. I want to not feel like I am always going to be alone (because I hate sex, because I hate people, because I'm not enough for someone...)

I love my job. Even when I

Comments

[ms_hecubus]

I know I can't fix it, but I can listen.

[restless_jedi]

Thanks. Thinking about it, I am not sure it can be fixed. Because any step to be not lonely would also be me not being myself. And therefore still lonely because the new people I might meet wouldn't know me. And I've done CBT with a goal of improving my social interaction before, but it doesn't stick because I can't keep up a social front long term. Even online, I don't interact very easily.

[ms_hecubus]

I've been realizing lately that I'm lonely too. It goes along with the whole stay at home mom thing, unfortunately. I think that taking some classes are helping because it forces interaction. I don't have the close connections I used to enjoy with my friends, but it's better than nothing, I guess.

[restless_jedi]

My closest friends, not just now but probably all my life, have been online. I just have not done well with being close to people. I'll have intense friendships that are short-term and end in so much silence, face to face. I know I have trust issues. I know I hold people at a distance.

In the days when I took classes, they were not a particularly social experience. They were about learning. But yes, getting out is a good idea. It's not the easiest thing for either of us. For you, it's the kids. For me, it's that not having a car means going out involves either a cohort or - more likely - a mile and a half on foot, planning for the bus, waiting outside for any transfers... It becomes a cost-benefit analysis to leave the house. I do think my life would be worse with a car (the expense, the maintenance, the effect on the environment...) but in Winter in particular, it is all too easy to nest.

I like hearing about your creative endeavours. What I should do is goad people into a weekly crafting session again - my crafting buddy is out of

[bluealoe]

In my experience, friends come when you least expect them. Whenever I'm looking to make friends, it never works out; my best friends have come from the least expected places. Just try to relax and let it come naturally. *hugs tight*