Twenty-One

[return_my_rice]

[Occasionally, you might catch a glimpse of a man dressed in the above icon flitting about town. He's been doing so for the past four years, keeping the people safe from anything and anyone intending to hurt them!

And the following is a message to the people of Mayfield, spoken in the hammiest superhero voice you can possibly imagine:GREETINGS,

Comments

[previousmodel]

I didn't even know there was alcohol around to consume.

[return_my_rice]

Well, good citizen, I'm afraid that, wherever there is civilization, there is alcohol. This place is no exception!

[previousmodel]

Civilization, huh? Well then, I'll have to hunt some down and make sure to drink responsibly then. Thanks for the tip.

[return_my_rice]

Wha-- That's not what I--

Aw, man. Me and my big mouth...

[lordmaximoff]

As obnoxious as always, I see.

Should you perhaps also warn everyone about the dangers of swimming less than a half hour after eating while you are at it? Just to make sure and cover all of your regurgitated moral bases.

[return_my_rice]

Well, if it isn't Demitri Maximoff. I'll have you know, I did that during swimming season!

[lordmaximoff]

I remember. I know this because you are a broken record that has somehow achieved sentience and taken to spitting out the same platitudes in a yearly cycle.

[hurtjustalittle]

Oh, for the love of...

You sound like a character from a children's cartoon.

[return_my_rice]

Whatever gets the message across!

[hurtjustalittle]

Considering that it's almost Christmas and we're on the brink of war breaking out between two insane country-people armed with nukes, I just don't think informing the citizens of how much sleep they should be getting is a priority.

[im_not_the_sun]

[Here, have yet another disgruntled neighbor who is sick and tired of hearing your hammy super-hero routine.]

Will you SHUT THE FUCK UP already?! It's the fourth year I've had to listen to this shit! Who the hell would be stupid enough to go wandering around in the dark in this place anyway?! What the fuck do you think you are, some kind of protector of the innocent?! Mind your own damn business, you fucking moron!

[See, Sanzo doesn't buy the whole super-hero act. Your corny announcements are annoying, and he doesn't like to be told what to do. Who the hell needs a buddy system anyway? And why are you telling people how much sleep they should get? You creep!]

...and by the way, my alcohol consumption is none of your damn business!

[He might've been caught drunk in public, on several occasions. And if this place has a bar then you'd better pray that it doesn't have karaoke. Oh, it's not that Sanzo's a bad singer, his voice is actually quite pleasant. But he's also surprisingly good at stripping.]

[return_my_rice]

I'm sorry to say, good albeit disgruntled citizen, that I have seen you under the influence around town. When that happens, it is my business!

[im_not_the_sun]

You're not in charge here, so stop acting like it. If you want to protect people from all the creepy shit that happens here, that's fine. But stop getting involved in everyone's personal life. You're not the fucking police department.

[And anyway, Sanzo never actually drives drunk... in spite of the occasional drunken singing and dancing.]

1/2

[nande_miria]

Wow! *He starts waving frantically to the disappearing super hero* Bye, the Great Saiyaman!!

2/2

[ne_isaac]

He's so amazing! *She waves frantically at the Great Saiyaman in tandem with Isaac!

I just feel so INSPIRED!

[return_my_rice]

[And he's waving back! Then, a cloud shoots down from the sky, he leaps on, and flies off down the street.]

1/2

[nande_miria]

*He squees like a little kid* Miria! Miria! Did you see that?!