Application
I am most definitely not Riku, and this tells you who you've been speaking with. Ya.
Mun
Name: Aza is short and sweet. Azarann works too. 8D
Livejournal Username: http://azarann.livejournal.com/
E-mail: cliffstouchingthesky [at] gmail.com
AIM/MSN: returnhope/hasumei@live.com
Current Characters at Luceti: None.
Character
Name: Rikuto Ayame Zukage; Alias: Zan'nen
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Wing Color: Black, with light gray feathers lining the bottom of each one.
Physical Appearance: To be quite honest Zan'nen is rather androgynous in both body and facial features (much to his displeasure). Although he doesn't look out of place in traditional male clothing, most people wouldn't bother to take a second glance if he decided to go traipsing around in a skirt or dress. (In other words, they wouldn't go: OMGWTFBBQ--THAT MAN IS A CROSSDRESSER. He has been mistaken for a woman on more than one occasion, and in his regular clothing no less.) He has a head of silver hair which he keeps shoulder-length, but rather jagged and unkempt. His skin is likewise fair, and he possesses a rather lean build: Slim, but not scrawny, muscular but no where near a beefcake.
He stands somewhere around 5' 8", and has dark green eyes.
History: Zan'nen's ancestors aren't all human. This is unfortunate in a world where everything different is either feared or hated. Ironic really, since the world Zan'nen was born to is a world of refugees. For whatever reason, this planet had become a catch-all for those who had become lost, for those who had tried to run from other planets and places. However, now most of these refugees exist in secret, hiding from the fear and persecution of the other 'normal' residents.
But oddly enough, Rikuto is the first-born son of the noble Zukage family of this region. Through a mixture of sheer luck and ingenuity, Rikuto's ancestor's had managed to carve themselves a safe place in the society of such a world. However, this did come with a price. For a while, the special ability they possessed was forced to be used whenever the King wished it, in exchange for keeping their lineage secret. However, he was a man of his word, and when he passed, their secret passed safely with him.
As a child, he was what you would've hoped for of nobility: kind, smart, polite, courteous, and unfortunately or not, a little shy. His early days were mostly taken up with various forms of tutoring and family duties. He had a little sister as well, but for whatever reason his mother was paranoid of letting the two near each other for extended periods of time. He wasn't even really concerned with her until she came running to him crying one day. Apparently, she wasn't able to pronounce her full name. He gave her a simple solution: a nickname. Not a very creative one either, just the first syllable of her first and middle name thrown together, but this became the turning point in their relationship. She was absolutely glued to him afterward, and Rikuto found he didn't mind. She quite quickly became the most important person in his life, as both his precious sister and his best friend, and he guarded her like any other older brother was expected to. Everything was happy, not perfect by any means, but normal.
Save for his uncle.
Rikuto's family was odd in that the first born son of the previous leader had not succeeded him. Instead, he had been passed over, and the title--along with his betrothed--was given over to his younger brother instead: Rikuto's father. Needless to say, Rikuto's uncle became rather bitter, and although Rikuto's father tried to make amends, this bitterness only increased when Rikuto was born. The son of the love of his life looked exactly like his younger brother, and became nothing more than a reminder of all that had been taken from him.
So Rikuto's uncle plotted, and found a way to reclaim all that should've been his--he slayed his brother, and burned the rest of them to the ground. All of them, except Rikuto. Unfortunately, Rikuto managed to return home just in time to witness the fiery carnage. He was helpless to save anyone, and the only one he managed to find unburned was his younger sister, trapped beneath the wreckage. Frantically, Rikuto tried to go for help, but the abilities they possessed were for some reason out of their reach, and there seemed to be no one that could hear Rikuto's cries for help. His sister quietly passed away before he could return with anyone to save her. Rikuto has been terrified of any form of fire ever since.
His uncle returned to the scene and found Rikuto not long afterward. He took him in, figuring he would need some sort of heir sooner or later. To make it easier for himself, he convinced Rikuto that somehow the deaths were his fault, and renamed him 'Zan'nen', or in other words, 'Regret'.
Life after that was constantly painful. His uncle continuously tortured him mentally, held the deaths of his loved ones over his head, and forced him to hunt down people he called 'targets'. Zan'nen never knew why he was sent after these people, or what for, but with no where to go, and little desire to fight for himself--a person who had killed everyone he'd ever known or loved, he felt like he had little choice. He ruined many people's lives during that time as he fought alongside people loyal to his uncle. He exposed himself to more blood, death, and guilt.
Eventually, his uncle sent him to culinary school, another way to torture him. In his eyes, a feminine hobby for a rather feminine boy, as well as the common use of fire would be a perfect way to squash out the tiny bit of rebellion Zan'nen still had. To his disappointment, however, Zan'nen loved it, and passed with flying colors. It was a way he could express himself, a small release for all the emotions he had built inside him. When he returned however, things returned to their normal blood-filled days.
The only respite he got during this time came at night, where he imagined someone came to care for him. He called this apparition an angel, because in his mind, there was no one else that could ever show kindness to a person as dirty and cruel as him. It was a momentary respite for all the nightmares he'd been having constantly since the death of his family, and the horrors of the day. He began to live to sleep. But like everything else, this too faded and with it came a tiny bit of clarity. If that person had been real, and could find it in them be kind to him, there must've been something redeemable. He began to question how the deaths of his family could be placed on his head, tried to remember doing anything to cause it. Though he didn't have any evidence, the truth finally became obvious to him. Both disgusted with himself for believing his uncle's lies, and sickened by the sins that did fall on his shoulders, he left.
He spent months dodging those his uncle sent after him, as well as anyone who might recognize him for his family's trademark silver hair. He had no place to go, but he still wound up searching for something, a place to escape to. Somehow, he wound up here instead. Still trapped, just differently.
The ability mentioned earlier is the power to control the element 'Darkness', although 'Shadow' might be a more accurate term. This involves the ability to blind, bind, and shield himself and others with a strange physical form of darkness. However, the most important aspect of this ability is the capability to open a gateway into a different, rather dark realm. It's not really a planet, but a sort of in between space that only those of his bloodline can occupy.
Obviously, he won't be able to enter this place in Luceti, but the reason why it was so coveted is because you can open a gateway from say, Canada, and open another gateway a few inches away within the realm back to earth to, say, England. This makes traveling and transporting things extremely easy. The catch is you cannot open a gate to a place you've never been, and you have to know the place fairly well to visualize this. Again, this probably wouldn't work well in Luceti at all. (Although, it would be hilarious if Zan'nen was trying to shove an object through a portal, and it wound up hitting someone random in Luceti, instead of going where ever it was intended to go.)
Personality: Zan'nen is a bundle of self-constructed contradictions. Upon first meeting him, Zan'nen comes off as rather anti-social and brash. He purposely avoids unnecessary contact with strangers, and complains when he is 'dragged into things that don't concern him'. He'll respond to questions and attention rather bluntly and concisely, usually with sarcasm thrown in. A general grumpy demeanor is mostly what most new faces will get out of him.
But this is only a facade, put forth to protect himself and others. In reality, Zan'nen fears those around him being hurt more than anything, especially if this harm came about because of their association with him. Due to certain instances of this happening to those he was close to in the past, he believes that little good can come of knowing him. When pursued, he often wonders why anyone should bother with someone as rude and unlucky as him, and often may question the other's sanity or intelligence.
Yet, as a rule, he cares about the people around him in general, and would gladly step out of the way to help someone in trouble. Excuses for this act of kindness would bubble to the surface later, insisting that his actions were most certainly not for their benefit. Insisting that they would've been better off without him--without knowing him, that they should just go away.
When it comes to Zan'nen, it's all about perspective. If Zan'nen actually stepped forward and gave himself the chance, he'd find that he does have the will to continue brushing himself off and standing up in the face of adversity, of opening himself up to people, again and again. However, he refuses to see himself this way. As of yet, he really doesn't have a reason to fight back against his misfortunes. So instead, he only makes meager attempts to fight such things, and when he fails, he doesn't respond with much more than an: "I told you so." There simply hasn't been anything to fight for. Not in a long time.
He's been known to be pretty slow when it comes to interpersonal relationships. He doesn't know how to respond positively to people, and feels rather awkward trying. He's extremely easy to tease, especially due to his appearance and general demeanor, and may get rather frustrated with this fact pretty quickly. When it comes to romance, forwardness throws him off-guard. From a young age, he was raised to be a gentleman: this is one of the few areas where that still manages to bubble to the surface.
If anyone tries hard enough to pry under his outer shell, they may discover how truly caring and gentle he actually is, or rather, would be if he allowed himself the privilege. Yes, that's right. Gruff, manly Zan'nen is really a shy softie deep down. He can't stand it when girls cry, and is actually fond of cute fluffy things, especially cats. It's hard for him to turn down a pleading face, especially girls who remind him of his sister, and he's actually pretty lonely, when it comes down to it... Even if he may not like to be 'involved', he is drawn to people, and sometimes cannot help but pipe up with a remark or two. Despite his attempts to stay uninvolved and disassociated, he develops feelings for the people around him rather quickly, and more often then not will find himself in the midst of everything, wondering how he got himself in these situations.
Strengths:
Physical: Due to his past as a semi-kidnapper/mercenary, he has slightly above average strength. He's not ridiculously strong for a human, but he can throw a pretty good punch or two. He's had to learn to defend himself, and quickly. Due to this, he's developed fairly decent stamina (if it's not hot outside), and is damn good at dodging things. However, what he relies upon the most is his aim and skill with fire arms. He's picked up a sword before (it was tradition), but again, he's no better at it then the average human would be after a somewhat decent amount of training. He'd only ever pick one up if it was the only thing on hand... or if someone baited him into a sword-fight. He does learn physical things quickly however, and has the determination to follow through with a lot of training.
He's also a very good cook, and very picky about what it or isn't healthy.
Mental/Emotional: Zan'nen can be frustratingly stubborn and determined once he sees the reason for it, (in a very "Screw fate!" kind of way) and this applies to his loyalty too--once you've gained his confidence, his friendship is something that's not easily thrown aside or broken. At the same time, he is unwilling to let this blind him as to what is right and wrong. In fact, he can be skeptical of nearly everything, but this keeps him out of trouble just as much as it may start it.
And again, he cares to some extent about most everybody. Despite all appearances and history, cruel is something he is not. Although not exactly forgiving, (he holds grudges for a long while) he is willing to ignore wrongs done.
Weaknesses:
Physical: Even though he may be able to put up a fight, he is no where near the strongest person around. Quite a few people could knock him around quite easily if he was cornered or tired out. This becomes even worse during the hotter months. Heat is extremely taxing to him, leaving him lethargic and prone to fevers. Normally, you wouldn't be able to pull him away from the house during warmer months. He is also near dead to the world when asleep, and there is little that can wake him that isn't some dose of heavy pain. You would be able to get away with doing almost anything to him if he was unconscious, so deep is his sleep. He doesn't get sick often either, but when he does, it hits hard. His stamina is also only decent, and he would be one of the first to fall behind on long distances on a mildly-warm outing. (He will avoid the desert like the plague.)
Mental/Emotional: Zan'nen has a lot of past regrets (so much so that even his alias means 'Regret'). Though he mostly refuses to acknowledge the things he's done in the past, they still haunt him. Even his good memories have become demons for him, easily turning into nightmares. This is why he tries so hard to stay away from others--and then fails so much at this pursuit.
If he were to be happy, he'd feel guilty, but he can't not seek out the company of others. He feels he deserves to wallow in loneliness and misery, but he can't bring himself to commit to it. He still keeps trying, at everything, but he doesn't know why. Some part of him knows that punishing himself won't fix anything, but he hasn't quite figured out how he can live with himself yet, let alone anyone else. He just knows that he wants to.
He is also pyrophobic. He's managed to get over this just enough to use a stove, but whenever he sees fire, he is instantly reminded of the fire that wiped out his entire family. It's not something that will fade anytime soon, either.
He's overly cautious when it comes to others, partly because he refuses to acknowledge who exactly he is--that he is still very much that shy, kind, frightened little kid he was so many years ago. And when he does try to connect with others, he's afraid. Plain and simple. Afraid they'll be hurt, and there will be nothing he can do about it, just like before.
He can also be short-tempered and easily frustrated. He doesn't have much patience for people who annoy him, and sometimes cruel words and insults fly out of his mouth before he can stop them--often things he doesn't even really mean. Likewise, he's sensitive to insults... but only on the inside. On the outside, he'll pretend he doesn't care what you think, and sometimes he doesn't, but other times it hits him deeply and he'll remember it for a long while.
Samples:
First Person:
Q&A please~...
Third Person:
Zan'nen released a soft groan as he pushed himself up from the ground. For whatever reason, his entire body was aching. He attempted to rub the sleep from his eyes, as his mind searched for his last memory--he couldn't exactly recall when or where he had fallen asleep. In fact, the only thing that was coming to his was some sort of bright light, which could've very well just have been the sun glinting off his pale hair, perhaps sometime in the early morning. "Tch," he huffed under his breath. He was getting cold, where had he put his shirt?
He reached up and ruffled his silver bedhead. He must've been tired if he'd fallen asleep half-naked in the middle of a bunch of damn tree--He froze for a second. There was nothing within his reach but dirt and forest debris. Nothing at all. His shirt? Why would he be missing his shirt? A small shiver of alarm ran through him as his eyes shot down to his body. He didn't own white pants like these either.
Zan'nen shot to his feet in that instant, and reached for a weapon that was no longer in his possession. His eyes narrowed, and a scowl worked it's way into his face. This was stupid. It didn't make any sense to abduct him, redress him, and then abandon him in the middle of the forest, did it? His stomach churned. Something else was wrong. He could feel it. He caught a small movement in the corner of his eye and flipped around to face it, but as soon as he moved, it was behind him. Moving with him. Slowly, he reached a hand over his back and brushed the strange object he found there. Fea... feathers...?
Again, his entire body went stiff with shock. Wings? He had wings?! What the hell was going on here?!
Mun
Name: Aza is short and sweet. Azarann works too. 8D
Livejournal Username: http://azarann.livejournal.com/
E-mail: cliffstouchingthesky [at] gmail.com
AIM/MSN: returnhope/hasumei@live.com
Current Characters at Luceti: None.
Character
Name: Rikuto Ayame Zukage; Alias: Zan'nen
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Wing Color: Black, with light gray feathers lining the bottom of each one.
Physical Appearance: To be quite honest Zan'nen is rather androgynous in both body and facial features (much to his displeasure). Although he doesn't look out of place in traditional male clothing, most people wouldn't bother to take a second glance if he decided to go traipsing around in a skirt or dress. (In other words, they wouldn't go: OMGWTFBBQ--THAT MAN IS A CROSSDRESSER. He has been mistaken for a woman on more than one occasion, and in his regular clothing no less.) He has a head of silver hair which he keeps shoulder-length, but rather jagged and unkempt. His skin is likewise fair, and he possesses a rather lean build: Slim, but not scrawny, muscular but no where near a beefcake.
He stands somewhere around 5' 8", and has dark green eyes.
History: Zan'nen's ancestors aren't all human. This is unfortunate in a world where everything different is either feared or hated. Ironic really, since the world Zan'nen was born to is a world of refugees. For whatever reason, this planet had become a catch-all for those who had become lost, for those who had tried to run from other planets and places. However, now most of these refugees exist in secret, hiding from the fear and persecution of the other 'normal' residents.
But oddly enough, Rikuto is the first-born son of the noble Zukage family of this region. Through a mixture of sheer luck and ingenuity, Rikuto's ancestor's had managed to carve themselves a safe place in the society of such a world. However, this did come with a price. For a while, the special ability they possessed was forced to be used whenever the King wished it, in exchange for keeping their lineage secret. However, he was a man of his word, and when he passed, their secret passed safely with him.
As a child, he was what you would've hoped for of nobility: kind, smart, polite, courteous, and unfortunately or not, a little shy. His early days were mostly taken up with various forms of tutoring and family duties. He had a little sister as well, but for whatever reason his mother was paranoid of letting the two near each other for extended periods of time. He wasn't even really concerned with her until she came running to him crying one day. Apparently, she wasn't able to pronounce her full name. He gave her a simple solution: a nickname. Not a very creative one either, just the first syllable of her first and middle name thrown together, but this became the turning point in their relationship. She was absolutely glued to him afterward, and Rikuto found he didn't mind. She quite quickly became the most important person in his life, as both his precious sister and his best friend, and he guarded her like any other older brother was expected to. Everything was happy, not perfect by any means, but normal.
Save for his uncle.
Rikuto's family was odd in that the first born son of the previous leader had not succeeded him. Instead, he had been passed over, and the title--along with his betrothed--was given over to his younger brother instead: Rikuto's father. Needless to say, Rikuto's uncle became rather bitter, and although Rikuto's father tried to make amends, this bitterness only increased when Rikuto was born. The son of the love of his life looked exactly like his younger brother, and became nothing more than a reminder of all that had been taken from him.
So Rikuto's uncle plotted, and found a way to reclaim all that should've been his--he slayed his brother, and burned the rest of them to the ground. All of them, except Rikuto. Unfortunately, Rikuto managed to return home just in time to witness the fiery carnage. He was helpless to save anyone, and the only one he managed to find unburned was his younger sister, trapped beneath the wreckage. Frantically, Rikuto tried to go for help, but the abilities they possessed were for some reason out of their reach, and there seemed to be no one that could hear Rikuto's cries for help. His sister quietly passed away before he could return with anyone to save her. Rikuto has been terrified of any form of fire ever since.
His uncle returned to the scene and found Rikuto not long afterward. He took him in, figuring he would need some sort of heir sooner or later. To make it easier for himself, he convinced Rikuto that somehow the deaths were his fault, and renamed him 'Zan'nen', or in other words, 'Regret'.
Life after that was constantly painful. His uncle continuously tortured him mentally, held the deaths of his loved ones over his head, and forced him to hunt down people he called 'targets'. Zan'nen never knew why he was sent after these people, or what for, but with no where to go, and little desire to fight for himself--a person who had killed everyone he'd ever known or loved, he felt like he had little choice. He ruined many people's lives during that time as he fought alongside people loyal to his uncle. He exposed himself to more blood, death, and guilt.
Eventually, his uncle sent him to culinary school, another way to torture him. In his eyes, a feminine hobby for a rather feminine boy, as well as the common use of fire would be a perfect way to squash out the tiny bit of rebellion Zan'nen still had. To his disappointment, however, Zan'nen loved it, and passed with flying colors. It was a way he could express himself, a small release for all the emotions he had built inside him. When he returned however, things returned to their normal blood-filled days.
The only respite he got during this time came at night, where he imagined someone came to care for him. He called this apparition an angel, because in his mind, there was no one else that could ever show kindness to a person as dirty and cruel as him. It was a momentary respite for all the nightmares he'd been having constantly since the death of his family, and the horrors of the day. He began to live to sleep. But like everything else, this too faded and with it came a tiny bit of clarity. If that person had been real, and could find it in them be kind to him, there must've been something redeemable. He began to question how the deaths of his family could be placed on his head, tried to remember doing anything to cause it. Though he didn't have any evidence, the truth finally became obvious to him. Both disgusted with himself for believing his uncle's lies, and sickened by the sins that did fall on his shoulders, he left.
He spent months dodging those his uncle sent after him, as well as anyone who might recognize him for his family's trademark silver hair. He had no place to go, but he still wound up searching for something, a place to escape to. Somehow, he wound up here instead. Still trapped, just differently.
The ability mentioned earlier is the power to control the element 'Darkness', although 'Shadow' might be a more accurate term. This involves the ability to blind, bind, and shield himself and others with a strange physical form of darkness. However, the most important aspect of this ability is the capability to open a gateway into a different, rather dark realm. It's not really a planet, but a sort of in between space that only those of his bloodline can occupy.
Obviously, he won't be able to enter this place in Luceti, but the reason why it was so coveted is because you can open a gateway from say, Canada, and open another gateway a few inches away within the realm back to earth to, say, England. This makes traveling and transporting things extremely easy. The catch is you cannot open a gate to a place you've never been, and you have to know the place fairly well to visualize this. Again, this probably wouldn't work well in Luceti at all. (Although, it would be hilarious if Zan'nen was trying to shove an object through a portal, and it wound up hitting someone random in Luceti, instead of going where ever it was intended to go.)
Personality: Zan'nen is a bundle of self-constructed contradictions. Upon first meeting him, Zan'nen comes off as rather anti-social and brash. He purposely avoids unnecessary contact with strangers, and complains when he is 'dragged into things that don't concern him'. He'll respond to questions and attention rather bluntly and concisely, usually with sarcasm thrown in. A general grumpy demeanor is mostly what most new faces will get out of him.
But this is only a facade, put forth to protect himself and others. In reality, Zan'nen fears those around him being hurt more than anything, especially if this harm came about because of their association with him. Due to certain instances of this happening to those he was close to in the past, he believes that little good can come of knowing him. When pursued, he often wonders why anyone should bother with someone as rude and unlucky as him, and often may question the other's sanity or intelligence.
Yet, as a rule, he cares about the people around him in general, and would gladly step out of the way to help someone in trouble. Excuses for this act of kindness would bubble to the surface later, insisting that his actions were most certainly not for their benefit. Insisting that they would've been better off without him--without knowing him, that they should just go away.
When it comes to Zan'nen, it's all about perspective. If Zan'nen actually stepped forward and gave himself the chance, he'd find that he does have the will to continue brushing himself off and standing up in the face of adversity, of opening himself up to people, again and again. However, he refuses to see himself this way. As of yet, he really doesn't have a reason to fight back against his misfortunes. So instead, he only makes meager attempts to fight such things, and when he fails, he doesn't respond with much more than an: "I told you so." There simply hasn't been anything to fight for. Not in a long time.
He's been known to be pretty slow when it comes to interpersonal relationships. He doesn't know how to respond positively to people, and feels rather awkward trying. He's extremely easy to tease, especially due to his appearance and general demeanor, and may get rather frustrated with this fact pretty quickly. When it comes to romance, forwardness throws him off-guard. From a young age, he was raised to be a gentleman: this is one of the few areas where that still manages to bubble to the surface.
If anyone tries hard enough to pry under his outer shell, they may discover how truly caring and gentle he actually is, or rather, would be if he allowed himself the privilege. Yes, that's right. Gruff, manly Zan'nen is really a shy softie deep down. He can't stand it when girls cry, and is actually fond of cute fluffy things, especially cats. It's hard for him to turn down a pleading face, especially girls who remind him of his sister, and he's actually pretty lonely, when it comes down to it... Even if he may not like to be 'involved', he is drawn to people, and sometimes cannot help but pipe up with a remark or two. Despite his attempts to stay uninvolved and disassociated, he develops feelings for the people around him rather quickly, and more often then not will find himself in the midst of everything, wondering how he got himself in these situations.
Strengths:
Physical: Due to his past as a semi-kidnapper/mercenary, he has slightly above average strength. He's not ridiculously strong for a human, but he can throw a pretty good punch or two. He's had to learn to defend himself, and quickly. Due to this, he's developed fairly decent stamina (if it's not hot outside), and is damn good at dodging things. However, what he relies upon the most is his aim and skill with fire arms. He's picked up a sword before (it was tradition), but again, he's no better at it then the average human would be after a somewhat decent amount of training. He'd only ever pick one up if it was the only thing on hand... or if someone baited him into a sword-fight. He does learn physical things quickly however, and has the determination to follow through with a lot of training.
He's also a very good cook, and very picky about what it or isn't healthy.
Mental/Emotional: Zan'nen can be frustratingly stubborn and determined once he sees the reason for it, (in a very "Screw fate!" kind of way) and this applies to his loyalty too--once you've gained his confidence, his friendship is something that's not easily thrown aside or broken. At the same time, he is unwilling to let this blind him as to what is right and wrong. In fact, he can be skeptical of nearly everything, but this keeps him out of trouble just as much as it may start it.
And again, he cares to some extent about most everybody. Despite all appearances and history, cruel is something he is not. Although not exactly forgiving, (he holds grudges for a long while) he is willing to ignore wrongs done.
Weaknesses:
Physical: Even though he may be able to put up a fight, he is no where near the strongest person around. Quite a few people could knock him around quite easily if he was cornered or tired out. This becomes even worse during the hotter months. Heat is extremely taxing to him, leaving him lethargic and prone to fevers. Normally, you wouldn't be able to pull him away from the house during warmer months. He is also near dead to the world when asleep, and there is little that can wake him that isn't some dose of heavy pain. You would be able to get away with doing almost anything to him if he was unconscious, so deep is his sleep. He doesn't get sick often either, but when he does, it hits hard. His stamina is also only decent, and he would be one of the first to fall behind on long distances on a mildly-warm outing. (He will avoid the desert like the plague.)
Mental/Emotional: Zan'nen has a lot of past regrets (so much so that even his alias means 'Regret'). Though he mostly refuses to acknowledge the things he's done in the past, they still haunt him. Even his good memories have become demons for him, easily turning into nightmares. This is why he tries so hard to stay away from others--and then fails so much at this pursuit.
If he were to be happy, he'd feel guilty, but he can't not seek out the company of others. He feels he deserves to wallow in loneliness and misery, but he can't bring himself to commit to it. He still keeps trying, at everything, but he doesn't know why. Some part of him knows that punishing himself won't fix anything, but he hasn't quite figured out how he can live with himself yet, let alone anyone else. He just knows that he wants to.
He is also pyrophobic. He's managed to get over this just enough to use a stove, but whenever he sees fire, he is instantly reminded of the fire that wiped out his entire family. It's not something that will fade anytime soon, either.
He's overly cautious when it comes to others, partly because he refuses to acknowledge who exactly he is--that he is still very much that shy, kind, frightened little kid he was so many years ago. And when he does try to connect with others, he's afraid. Plain and simple. Afraid they'll be hurt, and there will be nothing he can do about it, just like before.
He can also be short-tempered and easily frustrated. He doesn't have much patience for people who annoy him, and sometimes cruel words and insults fly out of his mouth before he can stop them--often things he doesn't even really mean. Likewise, he's sensitive to insults... but only on the inside. On the outside, he'll pretend he doesn't care what you think, and sometimes he doesn't, but other times it hits him deeply and he'll remember it for a long while.
Samples:
First Person:
Q&A please~...
Third Person:
Zan'nen released a soft groan as he pushed himself up from the ground. For whatever reason, his entire body was aching. He attempted to rub the sleep from his eyes, as his mind searched for his last memory--he couldn't exactly recall when or where he had fallen asleep. In fact, the only thing that was coming to his was some sort of bright light, which could've very well just have been the sun glinting off his pale hair, perhaps sometime in the early morning. "Tch," he huffed under his breath. He was getting cold, where had he put his shirt?
He reached up and ruffled his silver bedhead. He must've been tired if he'd fallen asleep half-naked in the middle of a bunch of damn tree--He froze for a second. There was nothing within his reach but dirt and forest debris. Nothing at all. His shirt? Why would he be missing his shirt? A small shiver of alarm ran through him as his eyes shot down to his body. He didn't own white pants like these either.
Zan'nen shot to his feet in that instant, and reached for a weapon that was no longer in his possession. His eyes narrowed, and a scowl worked it's way into his face. This was stupid. It didn't make any sense to abduct him, redress him, and then abandon him in the middle of the forest, did it? His stomach churned. Something else was wrong. He could feel it. He caught a small movement in the corner of his eye and flipped around to face it, but as soon as he moved, it was behind him. Moving with him. Slowly, he reached a hand over his back and brushed the strange object he found there. Fea... feathers...?
Again, his entire body went stiff with shock. Wings? He had wings?! What the hell was going on here?!