Comments | reviewers_inc: Bring Forth The Jury!

claire_chan in reviewers_inc

Bring Forth The Jury!

Feb 16, 2007 14:44

Title: Nothing But The Truth, So Help Me God
Author/Penname: Claire_chan
Rating: PG for underwear and crude-language-reference
Chapters: Complete, one-shot
Pairings: Yamazaki/Chiharu
Summary: Yamazaki takes the worst truth-or-dare dare ever: to tell the truth. For an entire day. Inspired by rhap_chan's many Y/C fics!
Warning, Notes: I wrote this literally ( Read more... )

Comments 9

dropsofviolet February 16 2007, 20:35:15 UTC

Love it very muchly. A fuller review later tonight. ^^ Yay, I inspired a fic! I feel all BNF-y, lol.

claire_chan February 16 2007, 20:57:59 UTC

I can't wait ^_^ I'll be at work but I'll see it when I get home!

Glad you like. ^.^

You are totally XD You're the most prolific writer of any fan I know!

dropsofviolet March 9 2007, 20:18:12 UTC

I looked over this again (and forgot to reply to the thread, oops), but I don't really see any problems. The lies are cute, the ending is perfect-- the only awkward sentence was the one sheila_chan mentioned... I'd say it's a fun break from long fic. Yay! ^^

sheila_chan February 17 2007, 07:58:26 UTC

That was a very tough dare for poor ol' Yamazaki.
I really like the idea! I'd love it more if it was longer though - please try continuing it when you have more time:) CxY is a very interesting (and amusing) pairing.

The ending's pretty good too(with Sakura saying that Yamazaki still has 15 minutes of truth).

I only found one line odd:
"...I don’t like this pretend you who’s always sad and who doesn’t say anything fun."

I think you should try thinking of a better word to replace pretend, or maybe you could rephrase it:)

claire_chan February 17 2007, 12:21:59 UTC

I agree that it should be longer, the ending would have more impact if there was more description of what a rough time Yamazaki had and it would be more entertaining seeing all the difficult situations. My attention span died and I wanted to get it up, hehe. xD

Thank you, I'll take a look at that sentence when I come home! :D

*glomp*

kainasilverbane February 24 2007, 18:48:06 UTC

LOL! That was so cute!

My only beef with this fic is that it seemed to lack the depth that I know you can put into your writing. Maybe I'm just used to your longer fics, which have a LOT of depth to them

But I do like it over all, sorry it took so long for me to find this! My F-list is getting a little backed up >.

claire_chan February 25 2007, 03:05:06 UTC

Yeah, it wasn't too depth-thy. xD I can do better.

Thank you ^-^ I hope you don't get buried in the flist terror. XD

agentlerain June 17 2007, 13:11:21 UTC

Hmm. I like it! I like Chiharu/Yamazaki stories because of their rarity. But yes... just a few points to note ( ... )

claire_chan June 18 2007, 01:53:50 UTC

Oooh, thank you for your review!! *glomp*

1. Okay, I'm sorry it was confusing!!

2. Yeah, that is a bit awkward. I meant to make some kind of reference to his not often telling the truth. Also, I find that CLAMP often injects weird not-quite-ten-year-old-like things into their works, but you do have a point.

3. Probably quite poorly! Perhaps I will write on the subject. Chiharu seems to be one who would be rather jealous.

4. Black tops are the asphalt that many school playgrounds are made out of? For the basketball courts and such? I'm sorry if I'm not very clear, I'm a little tired.

5. *reads over it* Hmm. I'm sorry.

6. Yaay I'm glad you liked Sakura!! ^__^

If I have read it, I don't remember! I will have to wander over and have a gander. *giggles* Thanks again and talk to you later!