Bring Forth the Jury!

[kainasilverbane]

Title: Shards
Author/Penname:Kainasilverbane (ME!)
Rating:PG-13
Chapters: Chapter 7 (WIP) (EDITED!)
Pairings: (optional) Fujitaka/Kaho
Summary:OMG PLOT MOVEMENT! XD Things take an unexpected turn while Fujitaka and Kaho are out visiting a grave site.
Warning, Notes: er...none this time...

Link to previous chapter:Read more... )

Comments

[claire_chan]

Yay, I get to steal sheila_chan's typo police job!! XD I think the way to go as far as making people review it again is to edit the post, and then make a post saying "I fixed it go read it again" XD But we'd have to check with her to make sure that's legal. If not.. you can just make people go read it again over IM or whatever.

First of all, I want to say, yay Suppi free ^__^ and I'm glad that they're going to try and free Eriol as well. I guess this chapter made me happy. XD

One thing, I didn't really understand why Kero-chan was blue. o_o; It was sudden.

Kaho was stunned for a moment at how the little guardian had turned himself blue without dying, but that stunned feeling didn’t last long and was quickly swallowed up by irritation and she threw off her blanket and began to get up, “Get back here fuzzball!” Whoa, run on, girlfriend. XDD Break it up, break it up! Unless you want it to be so rambly like that.

Comma police. “Kero(,) I told you not to wake her up!”

That of which meant she had had very little sleep and was

[kainasilverbane]

*Is giggling at her own writing stupidity....still!*

I *giggles* will *giggle* fix *giggle* all I swear!!!!! *dies laughing at all her typos*

I'm such a bad writer! XD

[claire_chan]

Hey, we all make mistakes XD *giggling too* I've seen worse, believe me D:

[sheila_chan]

I can't believe I missed this post! But better late than never, right? Right? Right?
^_^

You're not a bad writer! LJ and our word processors just so happen to have different settings, and it makes editing pretty taxing for us.
Even world famous writers make mistakes - they just have editors to fix it:)

claire_chan got ahead of me with the typos! *giggles*.
I'll just add some she missed:

-Consciousness picked up more of the noise,(remove the comma) closer than she thought, (it felt like it was, or it was) almost right on top of her.

- A low, hissing moan that(remove 'that') made her slightly uneasy, and, before opening her eyes, she made sure she had (a) small energy bolt ready to fire off if it was indeed something ready to cause her harm.

I agree with claire_chan, Kaho slipping reminds me of Nadeshiko! Kawaii-ness

[sheila_chan]

I think the way to go as far as making people review it again is to edit the post, and then make a post saying "I fixed it go read it again"

I agree! Please do so!

I'll go update the userinfo page!:)