Memes are easier.
1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Bought myself a legal drink in the US.
2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No, but not for lack of trying. 'Be happy' was sort of a spectacular failure. I will try different resolutions for this year.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Grandpa. And Fantasia.
5. What countries did you visit?
Just home and Canada.
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Lack of pain?
7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory?
June 23rd, that day at the beginning of August (the 3rd?), and November 9th. Probably also that day in October.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Surviving the summer, and probably when we presented the Merck project in July to great acclaim.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Losing my ability to trust people (including myself).
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I got very, very sick after a night of drinking. I did my best to avoid physical injury.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Hm. A three month membership to the Club? I don't know, nothing stands out.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Scott's, for keeping me sane when I might not otherwise have been. Rob, Toby, my Dad.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Bitches ain't shit but hos and tricks.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Food, I suppose. Literally, it went to rent and utilities.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Getting into my first film festivals, and finishing Merck.
16. What song/album will always remind you of 2009?
Happy Ending - Mika
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
Much sadder, but hopefully starting to heal from the worst of it.
ii. thinner or fatter?
I'm a bit thinner.
iii. richer or poorer?
Eh, about the same. I've tried to be as responsible as possible with my loans and spending.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Traveling.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Being upset.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent Christmas at home, then Christmas night at John's house, eating lovely chicken and snuggling. It was almost as good as Christmas Eve, where we went for a hike at Kent Falls and took pictures of the frozen waterfall.
22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Yes.
23. How many one night stands in this last year?
None, really.
24. What was your favorite TV program?
House.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Ohohoho yes. And I hate the fact that I have to hate them.
26. What was the best book you read?
Born to Be Good. Also The Art of Racing in the Rain. And I quite enjoyed The Fountainhead.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Mika, perhaps.
28. What did you want and get?
A new camera. And...well, a second chance at happiness.
29. What did you want and not get?
For Grandpa to be home for Christmas.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Probably 'Up'
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Blegh. Worst birthday ever. I played Uno with some friends, got a pitying hug from a backstabber, tried to stomach food, and cried a lot. It was my 21st.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Subtracting the entirety of May-June-July.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Hm. I've tried to get my wardrobe to be a bit more 'mature'. Fewer tee shirts, nicer tops and pants, and always trying to get rid of clothes that don't fit right or make me feel uncomfortable. I've worked hard to flatter my particular size/shape, and have enjoying improving what I wear.
34. What kept you sane?
As sad as it was, working at Upper Crust probably kept me from the more desperate corners of my mind. So did Scott, Alex, and being back in Boston. And the occasional Disney movie.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you like the most?
Who did I like the most this year? Ummm...Obama?
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
I've been on an animal rights kick lately, but also gay marriage.
37. Who did you miss?
I missed Fantasia, then I missed Lila, then I missed John, then Grandpa.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
I didn't really meet a lot of people this year. Maybe my students in Digital Toolbox?
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009
Fight for what you want. And don't ever let people hurt you like that again.
40. Quote [a] song lyric[s] that sums up your year?
This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell
This is the hardest story that I've ever told.
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more.
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day.
This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.
2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on
This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day
This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.
A Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love [repeat]
This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
To live the rest of our life,
But not together.
So screw optimism. Sure, there were some very cool parts of 2009. I was featured in Animation Magazine, I got into two or three film festivals, I started my senior year at MassArt and have so far not destroyed anyone's beliefs in me as an animator, I ran eight miles and my first few 5ks, I became a TA and a regular Symphony employee, and I'm currently in one of the most meaningful relationships I've ever had.
But here's a big F-YOU to 2009. It was a year of heartache, losing loved ones (in all ways possible), and fear. With the possible exception of the first half of 2006, this has been my worst year ever.
So I wash my hands of the whole thing. My plans this year include becoming a real runner (legit, multiple times a week, 5+ mile runs), embracing being a beginner Soo Bahk Do student, kicking ass in my degree project, and healing. I resolve to be stronger, in every sense of the word. Physically, emotionally, mentally. I resolve to fight for myself, to not be walked on, to re-center and find my hope and joy and empathy. And maybe, secretly, behind all those fierce ideas, I'm hoping to be happy.