God, I can't catch a break.

Jun 01, 2007 11:07

So, Jared's been cheaing on me.
For five months.
With Ann.
And I believed him when he said he loved me, and that he'd never cheat on me.

Holy fuck, what do I do?
My gut is telling me to stay with him. That people deserve another chance. But everyone else is telling me to dump his sorry ass.
She initiated it. Every one of the five times. He's ( Read more... )

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nato64 June 2 2007, 08:42:07 UTC
This is your decision and I really shouldn't say anything...

But accidents don't happen five times. And men aren't dogs that can be manipulated by women. Yes, some are. But we aren't constantly guided by our penises, contrary to popular belief. We have control when we want it. We just rarely choose to impose said self-control.

It's not a matter of forgiving him. It feels like it but it's not. When you love someone, and I know you love Jared, it's easy to forgive. But what happens when they betray the essential trust that exists within a relationship, it changes how you view that person. You start thinking, "are they who I think they are?" And then the question becomes, "Do I love that person?"

Now, when they say, "I'm sorry," the other person interprets it as, "I'll be the person you thought I was before you know about this horrible thing I did."

Another thing, when someone doesn't know why they did something, there are only two (maybe three) possible truths. The first one is that they're lying. The second one, plain and simple, ( ... )

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nato64 June 2 2007, 08:47:31 UTC
I wanted to clarify on one more thing.

It's healthier and harder to learn to change on your own. If he learned to change with you helping him, then for some unforeseeable reason you broke up, he would revert back to who he was before he met you. That's not good.

Let him change, grow, and learn without you having to be there. If you love him you'll do the best thing for him, the hardest thing for both of you.

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